Incredibly Ace Moments

[Guest]

15 hours ago, Custard Cream said:

Talking of whips and kinks, me with my bull whip in steampunk mode! No kinkiness at all though (although I think that came as a disappointment to a few people)

 

F yeah steampunk!! Love it! The hat is really cool, it looks Vernian!

[Guest]

I was "dating" a girl who for some reason really liked me. We were at her house and she wants to show me her new CD player, a nice 5disc wall mount unit with like 6 speakers and a subwoofer. She puts on U2, Where the Streets Have No Name and goes around behind me and begins to take off her fancy dating dress. I am oblivious to this and I am just amazed at the very expensive sound system. I get up and go back into the living room totally ignoring the fact that she may have been nude in that room. We watch TV and I leave like an hour later. Not until well after we broke up did I realize that was an attempt to seduce me! I was so oblivious and the idea of sex never crossed my mind. She confirmed this much later when I talked to her at my workplace.

[DolphinLover22]

There were many times growing up that I remember my friends talking about how hot someone was (mostly actors, but some peers), and I just remember being so confused like, "what does it mean to be attractive?... Do they need a certain type of butt, or something?" I didn't understand and it felt kinda frustrating that I only saw guys by their actions and not their looks. And no one understood me whenever I was like "meh" when someone was pining over the hot football players 😂 

[Custard Cream]

I can appreciate aesthetic attraction perfectly well, quite well enough to be able to pretend I find someone 'hot' or agree or disagree with someone else saying that - but I assumed everybody else was doing the same thing too *shrugs*

[Celyn: The Lutening]

3 hours ago, Custard Cream said:

pretend I find someone 'hot'

I thought "hot" just mean "very aesthetically attractive" for the longest time.

[Custard Cream]

7 minutes ago, Celyn said:

I thought "hot" just mean "very aesthetically attractive" for the longest time.

Me too!

[Guest]

1 hour ago, Celyn said:

I thought "hot" just mean "very aesthetically attractive" for the longest time.

Thirded. I didn’t find out I was wrong until I was about 22, and only then because someone used it in its actual sense with much vigor and my response was kind of indifferent, or should I say lukewarm.

 

Then it turned into one of those “what are you talking about?” “What are YOU talking about?” Conversations that mysteriously happen sometimes when you and the other person are following different threads in the same conversation.

[fooledbysecrecy]

2 hours ago, Celyn said:

I thought "hot" just mean "very aesthetically attractive" for the longest time.

you mean it doesn't?! 😱

[Guest]

1 hour ago, Arodash said:

I always thought "hot" was an inapropriate way of saying someone was attractive, same with "sexy" Ive always used like, beautiful, pretty, handsome. Stufff like that

Yeah. I usually go with beautiful or pretty.

 

I didn’t even get that it had inappropriate connotations until I was like a young adult. I just thought it was for emphasis.

 

Kind of like how if you get a shake from  most fast food places it’s “good,” but it’s like dismissive good, like if someone asks how you’re doing and you go “mm hmm, good.”

 

But if you go home and make your own shake it’s like “this is f***** delicious!”

 

I thought it was like that. I guess. 

 

I don’t know. Allos are hard to understand haha.

[Guest]

37 minutes ago, Arodash said:

 like my Jeep

 

like swords, bows and guns. 

 

You, I like you.

 

Jeeps are the best. +10 points if you have it lifted. Jeeps, in my laypersons opinion*, are right up there with Hummers, Rogues, Konas, And the Audi Etron.

 

Spoiler

I just mean this by what I have a preference for, I can’t say objectively why any car is better or worse than any other car.

 

Disclaimer less I anger a car buff haha.

 

Like this guy I used to work with that swore this particular year of accord was better than that one, or that this or that is the “best” mod for a Honda. 

 

[will123]

1 hour ago, Arodash said:

The only time I really use the word sexy was to describe inanimate objects like my Jeep or my fire engine. 

 

I use gorgeous for things like swords, bows and guns. My recurve bow is gorgeous. Anyone who disagrees with me can fight me XD 

 

My kitten is the MOST beautiful mini panther princess on earth, this is fact. Not opinion. 

To me my reaction to seeing an attractive female is the same as if I see a car or truck I like.

 

It's not like "Wow she's hot, I want to have sex with her!"

 

That is what has 'bothered' me about my aesthetic attraction. I only notice a female because of her physical 'attributes'...

[squishward]

Not even fully ace, but my lack of checking people out (as a single person) and commenting on customer’s attractiveness at work has been noticed. One of my co-workers said it was because I was in a committed relationship with my dogs. I feel so seen 

[Laplace]

I don’t think I’ve ever used the words “hot” or “sexy” unironically before. I only ever use them in a sarcastic manner or as a surprise deadpan joke cause it’s extremely uncharacteristic for me to use those words. Even then, I’ve probably used them less than like...3-4 times in my life? Excluding the use of “hot” to describe temperature. 

[Rowan Gail]

Anytime anyone described any other human being as "hot." 

 

I just.....never found anyone hot. I didn't understand what "hot" was even supposed to mean. What made someone hotter than someone else? I understood that people liked chiseled jaws and six packs but...I just didn't see what was so "hot" about that. What was sexy and hot supposed to mean exactly? I definitely found people aesthetically attractive. I Being an artist I would often see someone and be like wow they are gorgeous I would totally draw them. But never "omg hot person". 

[Bronztrooper]

15 hours ago, Custard Cream said:

I can appreciate aesthetic attraction perfectly well, quite well enough to be able to pretend I find someone 'hot' or agree or disagree with someone else saying that - but I assumed everybody else was doing the same thing too *shrugs*

I just say that someone looks 'nice' when I find someone aesthetically attractive, but I don't like using the words 'hot' or 'sexy' to describe people's appearance.

 

Meanwhile, when I saw/heard people going on and on about how 'hot' someone was, I figured that they were exaggerating- and tbh, I kind of felt that everyone was exaggerating.

[zzkitty42]

3 hours ago, Rowan Gail said:

I just.....never found anyone hot. I didn't understand what "hot" was even supposed to mean. What made someone hotter than someone else? I understood that people liked chiseled jaws and six packs but...I just didn't see what was so "hot" about that. What was sexy and hot supposed to mean exactly? I definitely found people aesthetically attractive. I Being an artist I would often see someone and be like wow they are gorgeous I would totally draw them. But never "omg hot person". 

SAME!

I mean, pretty much ditto to what a lot of people said: I still don't really get the difference between "hot" and "cute". 

One time a friend of mine asked which of two guys (from a tv show I hadn't watched) was "hotter" in order to win an argument with her sister and I think I basically just BS-ed my way through it. Like I think I have an understanding of what people typically find attractive and "sexy", but for me it's more of an association with certain traits (a more edgy, brooding look) and how that relates to personality tropes (bad boy trope is hot, I think)? For me, I mostly just see a person's face, and their style and that's what I look for in aesthetic attraction. 

(On a side note this friend also let me know that my boyfriend apparently has a really nice collarbone/cheekbones (I forget which now, lol) Because that's a thing, apparently. I still think he's cute, I just never notice stuff like that)

[Rowan Gail]

4 minutes ago, zzkitty42 said:

SAME!

I mean, pretty much ditto to what a lot of people said: I still don't really get the difference between "hot" and "cute". 

One time a friend of mine asked which of two guys (from a tv show I hadn't watched) was "hotter" in order to win an argument with her sister and I think I basically just BS-ed my way through it. Like I think I have an understanding of what people typically find attractive and "sexy", but for me it's more of an association with certain traits (a more edgy, brooding look) and how that relates to personality tropes (bad boy trope is hot, I think)? For me, I mostly just see a person's face, and their style and that's what I look for in aesthetic attraction. 

(On a side note this friend also let me know that my boyfriend apparently has a really nice collarbone/cheekbones (I forget which now, lol) Because that's a thing, apparently. I still think he's cute, I just never notice stuff like that)

XD I mean for me like, I can appreciate a person's beauty, like if someone has a really nice smile or laugh, adorably messy hair, or clothing that looks really flattering on them, but none of that registers as "hot" in my brain. I can appreciate collarbones and cheekbones as an artist that draws people but not as a hot or sexy quality because that just doesn't mean anything to me lol

[Guest]

54 minutes ago, zzkitty42 said:

SAME!

I mean, pretty much ditto to what a lot of people said: I still don't really get the difference between "hot" and "cute". 

One time a friend of mine asked which of two guys (from a tv show I hadn't watched) was "hotter" in order to win an argument with her sister and I think I basically just BS-ed my way through it. Like I think I have an understanding of what people typically find attractive and "sexy", but for me it's more of an association with certain traits (a more edgy, brooding look) and how that relates to personality tropes (bad boy trope is hot, I think)? For me, I mostly just see a person's face, and their style and that's what I look for in aesthetic attraction. 

(On a side note this friend also let me know that my boyfriend apparently has a really nice collarbone/cheekbones (I forget which now, lol) Because that's a thing, apparently. I still think he's cute, I just never notice stuff like that)

Collarbones are a thing? Huh. I usually just look at hair, eyes, and general appearance {tall / short, muscular / average} and if someone is clean shaven or not.

 

Unfortunately for me I like dark hair and light eyes, a combination I’ve never seen in real life. I understand that would be unusual though because the presence of melanin usually affects both.

 

Obvious disclaimer is obvious but I still find people esthetically pleasing even if they don’t have both or either of those things. I’m not judging anyone haha

[DolphinLover22]

4 hours ago, Rowan Gail said:

Anytime anyone described any other human being as "hot." 

 

I just.....never found anyone hot. I didn't understand what "hot" was even supposed to mean. What made someone hotter than someone else? I understood that people liked chiseled jaws and six packs but...I just didn't see what was so "hot" about that. What was sexy and hot supposed to mean exactly? I definitely found people aesthetically attractive. I Being an artist I would often see someone and be like wow they are gorgeous I would totally draw them. But never "omg hot person". 

Same! Except for the artist part XD I can't draw to save my life

[DolphinLover22]

1 hour ago, zzkitty42 said:

On a side note this friend also let me know that my boyfriend apparently has a really nice collarbone/cheekbones (I forget which now, lol) Because that's a thing, apparently. I still think he's cute, I just never notice stuff like that)

Something similar happened to me a few years ago which should have been an indication to me that I'm ace XD. I had a boyfriend, and every time I would show someone a picture of him, I'd warn them beforehand that they aren't exactly the most attractive. Everyone I said that to was shocked and said he was drop dead gorgeous 😅😂 I was like, I mean yeah. He's not full of acne and has good hygiene... Is there more that you guys are seeing that I'm not? I was so confused...

[Barbio]

It occurred to me a little while ago (while listening to a story about coffee) that being allo/gray/demi/ace is a lot like how addicted you are to coffee. Some people absolutely cannot start their day without coffee, and even drink multiple cups of it per day. Other people (like myself) enjoy the taste of coffee and drink it fairly often, but don't depend on it and could easily survive multiple days without it. Some people only drink it every once in a blue moon, like when at a restaurant or something. And some people don't like coffee at all.

 

I guess that makes me a gray-a coffee drinker.

[Dodoa]

5 hours ago, i.r3beka said:

Collarbones are a thing? Huh. I usually just look at hair, eyes, and general appearance {tall / short, muscular / average} and if someone is clean shaven or not.

They are apparently. I found out when a friend of mine told me I should wear more strapless dresses because I have really nice collarbones

[naakka]

On 11/19/2019 at 9:58 AM, Custard Cream said:

I can appreciate aesthetic attraction perfectly well, quite well enough to be able to pretend I find someone 'hot' or agree or disagree with someone else saying that - but I assumed everybody else was doing the same thing too *shrugs*

I too can appreciate people's appearances from the aesthetic point of view. I can also lead conclusion based on the many examples I've heard who could be called "hot" and tell which characteristics on their looks that's based on. But I would never personally "feel" the hotness on any person, I lack the internal personal experience. I mean, I could say "people probably see them as hot" but I'd never come up with "they're hot!" by myself.

 

Thus I think "hot" is not only an objective characteristic, but to be perceived "hot", there must be both the object and the perceiver. In the other words, "hot" is interaction and subjective perception rather than an objective characteristic such as color of eyes or one's height.

[Guest]

18 hours ago, Barbio said:

It occurred to me a little while ago (while listening to a story about coffee) that being allo/gray/demi/ace is a lot like how addicted you are to coffee. Some people absolutely cannot start their day without coffee, and even drink multiple cups of it per day. Other people (like myself) enjoy the taste of coffee and drink it fairly often, but don't depend on it and could easily survive multiple days without it. Some people only drink it every once in a blue moon, like when at a restaurant or something. And some people don't like coffee at all.

 

I guess that makes me a gray-a coffee drinker.

I love the principle of your analogy but can we not use something delicious? I’m a repulsed ace and I love coffee. :P If I had to choose between giving up Netflix or coffee for the rest of my life, I’d cancel my subscription.

 

Broccoli. Let’s make broccoli the parallel to how tolerant someone is of frickfracking. XD

[naakka]

12 hours ago, Arodash said:

In my personal opinion I believe that what people find nice, attractive any word of the sort is subjective. "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder"

 

Example, I think snakes are BEAUTIFUL but some others think their gross.

 

I think blemishes and scars are beautiful because they are indictative of reality and experience.

 

Also I dont like porcelin white teeth they come off as VERY unnatural.

That's true! Some adjectives are objective, others subjective.

[PoeciMeta]

I can't remember the exact context but there was this joke in a youtube video, where the narrator said something like : "... and this is why you shouldn't watch porn. Erm, I mean, you shouldn't watch porn anymore.''

I had to pause to fully register that he was assuming every single person watching the video did that. It was mildly offending. 

[deathsangelchild]

So today our teacher had someone from LSU come in to talk about the school of agriculture, right? So he's talking and suddenly I hear him start talking about cow reproduction and how a lot of students who study it can cross over to the study of human reproduction. So everyone else is sitting there like yeah okay and my ace potato self is seriously uncomfortable. Which reminds me of any biology class. For example, I took had to take human anatomy, and I was cool with it learning about all the bones.....but then... came the part of the class I hated. The one where the teacher wanted us to label and color pictures so that she could quiz us on the reproduction organs. I don't know about anyone else but like the  mere mention of such things just makes me uncomfortable. I know science is important but jeez i could have done without that. Oh! Sorry, that reminded me of something else... sex ed. Like I would just sit there and wonder how it was relevant for me. I think my acest moment was in 8th grade when all my friends were talking about how they didn't plan to wait till marriage.  When they asked me I was like "yeah thats never happening" and they laughed and said "wait and see you're just to innocent and naive right now. At the time I didn't know being asexual was a thing so I just laughed because they didn't know how dead serious I was. 

[nerdperson777]

On 11/14/2019 at 6:24 PM, Arodash said:

Idk if this is an ace thing. But.... or maybe a difference in culture. But. I love anime, except. It seems like in, many shows theres  always a female character who people point out the size of her chest. Bit..... uncomfortable in my opinion, but I power through for the fun parts! 

Sometime ago, some female characters came out for a game I was playing so I was looking up whether their stats were any good and the article writers can have recommendations on how to combo things.  I scrolled down to the bottom where some assumed cishet guys wrote comments about how they rate them by boob size.  The character designers seem to not give most of them less than DD's and I think one of those new characters had to a G or H cup.  Then I looked up a video for clips from a show and one comment was that some girl wasn't attractive because her boobs weren't big enough.

 

On 11/17/2019 at 11:21 AM, Arodash said:

But also

 

 

  Hide contents

Some asexuals do engage in kinks, so I can totally understand the Dom stuff because most of the time it doesnt include sex.

 

Yeah, I hung out with a friend last night for TDoR and she said that she was planning on going to a convention next week.  She said that I could come, but it's probably not what I'm into.  It was a weekend long BDSM convention.  I'm into being knowledgeable about things but I could really care less about BDSM things when I have no interest in having a partner.  I did say that some aces are into that, but not me.

 

On 11/18/2019 at 5:02 PM, Arodash said:

I was instructed by my therapist to trace my family history back a little. And... well I asked my mom how my Opa and Oma met (grandfather and Grandmother in german) well! When he was stationed in germany in the 50s he used to...... pay..... for "Dances" from her at. Clubs. I asked "what do you mean paid for dances?" It took me like a whole minute to figure out what dances meant.

 

I then promptly freaked out because this is not how I wanted to think of my Oma....

My dad said that he knew what mom's boob size was, even though she never shows off her body.  She wears long sleeve shirts with long pants, and occasionally shorts instead if we're home during the summer.  So my dad's explanation for knowing mom's size was that they made me.  Ew, I don't want to think about my parents having sex, even if they haven't done any since I was born.

 

On 11/19/2019 at 3:45 AM, Celyn said:

I thought "hot" just mean "very aesthetically attractive" for the longest time.

I think hot is sexually attractive and cute is romantically attractive.  I also thought that sexually attractive was "mature" and romantically attractive was more child-like, but I got to throw that one out the window because it doesn't fit with the other stuff I thought.

 

On 11/19/2019 at 10:59 AM, Laplace said:

I don’t think I’ve ever used the words “hot” or “sexy” unironically before. I only ever use them in a sarcastic manner or as a surprise deadpan joke cause it’s extremely uncharacteristic for me to use those words. Even then, I’ve probably used them less than like...3-4 times in my life? Excluding the use of “hot” to describe temperature. 

I do make jokes like that too.  I think someone typed something wrong and it came out as ass so I said "nice ass".  I would never use that sentence in a serious way.  Another time I played a game with my friend on a custom map that was kind of like a colosseum with fire everywhere.  Watching us from above was a demon with fire coming out of its eyes.  My friend pointed it out and I said "that's hot".

[Eutierria]

Context: Large package was delivered but I was at work & guy in flat below kindly kept it for me. 

 

Them: "Do you need help getting it up?"

 

Me: "Yeah, please. If you can get it up, I can slide it in."

 

Didn't think anything of it until 5-6hrs later when my mind decided to replay this conversation & I felt a combination of the following: 😳😱😫😅

[Skycaptain]

^^ 🤣 🤣