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      Help fund AVEN's servers!   11/06/17

      AVEN is doing its annual fundraiser to raise donations for server costs! See http://www.asexuality.org/en/topic/163251-aven-server-fundraiser/ for more details.  
    • Kelly

      New AVENues Edition: Aces in the Media   01/25/18

      The new edition of AVENues is done!   See:      
    • Kelly

      New Moderators needed: Nominations   03/22/18

      See:   https://www.asexuality.org/en/topic/169131-new-moderator-needed-asexual-musings-and-rantings-nominations/ https://www.asexuality.org/en/topic/169132-new-moderator-needed-just-for-fun-the-chatterbox-and-aven-arcade-nominations/  

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  1. Past hour
  2. Chain Game – Geography

    Observation Peak
  3. Red, Green, Blue, RAINBOW GOATS!

  4. Telling your ACE husband that Sex with him is awful

    Terrific analogy. You are well spoken. Yes, he sucks at dancing too. I never told him that, I just got off the dance floor and signed us up for dance lessons, he hated them.
  5. Could You?

    Depends on whether I'd have to cook it myself. I don't mind vegan food, but I'd hate the amount of preparations that comes with it. Could you travel for five weeks straight?
  6. Combine your username with the username above you

  7. Telling your ACE husband that Sex with him is awful

    You are a sweetie. I love your responses, because I think they are different and interesting. I learn from you. Blessings, Mary
  8. Hello!

    I couldn't get in to overwatch, it felt like TF2 but with magic
  9. Hello!

    Cold up here, I thought about putting a jacket on the other day
  10. Telling your ACE husband that Sex with him is awful

    Oh, Yeah, you are singing to the choir, girl. I get it now. You just got to understand what a shock this has been, and I know for you, you must have been shocked also. Yes, my husband has tried to please me by having sex with me, but that's just the point, I don't want sex with him if that is how it is. I want someone who wants me and I thought that is what I married. So I am still trying to get past the shock. I am still trying to figure out how I can sleep with someone else that I am attracted too with out hurting him but at the same time I love him. So my mind is so conflicted. I have two guys who are interested in me in that way. I have only ever been with my husband so it is hard to take the leap. Do I really want to or is the fantasy good enough? Talking it out is helpful. He seems to want to have sex, since our recent talk when I told him I realized he was not gay. That happened this week. We have not slept together since our big blow out in February. Not sure I ever want to sleep with him again. I just want us to be happy and I want to show him I love him and appreciate him. Why does he want this with me if its such bullshit? He is making me and himself unhappy by not realizing that he would be happier if I had a boyfriend and so would I. He gets the wife and the kids, I get what I want and everyone wins. I don't want a sexual relationship with him, because its false. I'll let you know how it all turns, out, Blessings, Mary
  11. Whoops, forgot to say hi!

    Welcome to AVEN!
  12. How do you know if you're trans?

    For me it has nothing to do with "Gender identity" I think that it is a biological, social and evolutionary advantage to be male. As a kid I envied boys who were given more freedom by their parents to go outside and play sports get jobs while girls were kept at home so they won't get hurt or dirty. I fairly recently read that in certain cultures, a girl is disguised as a boy because the family has more social acceptance with a son than a daughter. On occasion it happens because the parents are trying to prevent their daughter from getting harassed or sexually assaulted etc. It gets to be a moral mish mash in which intentions that are not exactly right still leading to actions that are beneficial to a girl, and sometimes it can be a matter right intentions not being carried out right. I think that it is good that parents raise a girl to be more like a boy, that is, raise a girl to not be pretty or desirable or stereotypical, but independent, athletic, useful with her hands, and not to be naive believing that a man will take care of her. It has to be carefully done otherwise girls will particularly be at a disadvantage. I think kids in general should be raised to know everything about what sex is and what part it plays in society, but to be treated as asexual and be gender -free in a pragmatic way. I don't believe that girls and boys should share same bathrooms ( we will skip transgender kids for now) or play sports with each other. Girls should have their own teams and boys should have their own teams etc, but girls should follow the same trajectory in life as boys. Be taught to work to support ones self. Cook, clean and mend clothes for yourself no matter your gender or sex. No one should be taught that their purpose is to marry and have kids. It has to be something a person wants to do and is able to do effectively. Some parents react to their daughters by being overprotective but raising them so as to need to be so protected. A lot of parents make their daughters pretty, dumb things and then say that girls need to be kept from trying anything too physical because they are so delicate. It is a vicious cycle. I don't deny that females physically have bodies that cannot tolerate as much rigor as males, but the thing to do is to carefully have girls exercise and build up their strength and have self esteem about doing things for themselves. In certain cultures parents may react to having a daughter by disguising her as a boy. Which I think is a good idea but according to what I have read, I think it is not carried out in the best possible way. Unless a kid is transgender, a girl should be androgynous but not be made so that people actually think she is a boy. My father had me dress more like a boy when I reached a certain age. I actually was not against it and preferred it, but it was difficult because my dad would sometimes still make me dress a bit more like a girl than a boy and he was insensitive to how indignifying it was for me . When he was drunk he would sometimes tell people I was a boy and it would confuse people of the neighborhood. I was not a cross dresser or confused about my gender which I believe is what others thought back in those times. I would have preferred to have always worn pants and no dresses (when I was under the age of about 3 my parents had me wear dresses) and had my hair short. https://www.nytimes.com/2010/09/21/world/asia/21gender.html
  13. Am I asexual?

    aaa okay so I know this question definitely gets asked all the time but I've been confused about my sexuality and struggling with it my whole life, so simple questions like this with responses from people who are confident in themselfs is really nice and id really appreciate the help <3 i already went through the faq and im still a little confused I definitely know im not straight - im into girls, whether Im okay with it or not, and im unsure if im into boys romantically or not. But besides all that one thing thats been on my mind is questioning whether or not im asexual. so basically im definitely like...horny at times. I masturbate to porn and other sexual images/fantasys. which is the biggest thing yelling at me that im not asexual - however, i dont actually like having sex with people? i like the idea of it for sure, but actually being with people is not comfortable for me, i just dont really like it. Every so often I do feel sexual attraction to someone, but its rare, and when I do I feel like to actually enjoy it I need to be in complete control, I dont want to be touched. I often see people I think are hot or cute and get nervous around them, but I more so just like the romantic part of it, I dont initially think about sexual things. In fact when im in a relotionship im never the first person to bring up sex or sexual things, I usually go along with it and sometimes even enjoy it - mostly because I know they like it. But I wouldnt choose to do it myself. I feel like id much prefer not being sexual in a relationship at all - which is why I think I might be asexual. But idk, im v confused haha, sorry. Xoxo, coyote
  14. Star Vs The Forces Of Evil Thread

    So who watches this show I absolutely love it.
  15. Whoops, forgot to say hi!

    Hi, everybody! Older, introverted cisfemale ace, eastern US. Lurked/read for a while but recently decided to actually participate. Nice to meet everyone.
  16. Yesterday
  17. Thank you for helping me w/my ACE husband

    Because, I am 50 years old, have 2 great kids and a man who loves me more than anyone ever will. Yes, it has it's hard parts, but I cannot crush me children or my husband. I don't think I would be happy hurting them. I see myself as very lonely and sad without them. It's easy to say hey just get out of the relationship, but my life is so stellar in all the other ways. Not many guys out there that are worth it. Trust me I've been out there, got married at 35. Dated a lot. Blessings to you.
  18. How high can we count ... in Roman numerals?

  19. I just hate how it’s sometimes presented as this panacea to all these serious disorders. Like, no, sex does not instantly “cure” (ugh) autism, social anxiety/phobia, PTSD, mental trauma, the effects of physical abuse, etc. And, yeah it also bothers me when it’s shown as being okay to essentially coerce someone who is somewhat vulnerable into having sex/being intimate under the pretense of it being for “their own good.” Not to say that it can’t be healthy for some people, but it’s not a miracle drug and it shouldn’t be seen as a requirement for someone.
  20. Will my asexuality kill my relationship?

    Wow, I wish my husband knew to asked these kinds of questions. I think you are awesome and I think she thinks you are the greatest. She will always love you if you are honest. Yes, you might have to be just friends, but a least you will not go through the pain me and my husband have gone through. Not to mention the kids. Its really not worth it. There are so many great asexual ladies who would so dig you. If she is an allosexual let her go. She will never understand, and just feel sad all the time and so will you. Hard words to hear I am sure. But I would do anything to have avoided this.
  21. Anne_cx

    Anyone 19 -23? I need friends. :lol:

  22. I'm trans?

    Hi. I'm 11. I'm new here and I'm pretty sure I'm transgender. The idea of being a boy makes me so happy, even though I was born a girl. Ever since I was little I got along with boys well, and I wear boys' clothes. One time a some friends came over and we all played "Minecraft" together. One of them kept calling me "bud" and "dude" and it made me feel really good. Another time we met up with a bunch of people I bearly new, and the all kept calling me "a little girl" and it made me so upset I started to cry. I don't feel much dy-something (where you dislike your body) except I hate my "developing" chest-area. Anyway, I think I should change my name. I like it but it's way too femmine. I like the name "Damian" (pronounced: Day-me-an). I also want to cut my hair so it's short, like boys hair. It would be very helpful if I could hear someone's opinion on this.
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