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  2. Lynh

    Teen Corner

    hi guyss i left this place for a long time since i've been busy with moving to boarding school (!!!) but i've been wanting to ask about black rings...i've wanted to get one for a long time but i can't find any that i like or i feel like fit me and are affordable. do you guys have recommendations? ty!!
  3. Tyke

    anyone past 50 on here?

    I count it lucky that I never smoked. Dad gave up sometime before I was born. Mum had cut down to a packet a week by the time I was 10 and quit soon after that. This discussion reminds me of one of my favourite quotes - "Quitting smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I've done it myself about a thousand times"
  4. Itsa me a person

    Honorifics in English

    Between, Miss, Mr, and Mx. I prefer to just use no honorifics at all When it comes to ma'am or sir, I don't really have much of a presence; either one is fine
  5. will123

    anyone past 50 on here?

    Welcome to AVEN. It was about 12 years between me finding out about AVEN and actually joining
  6. You are very much welcome!! Asexual is typically used as the "no sexual attraction" identity term while ace refers to the whole ace spectrum, which you as are a part of as a demisexual. And the whole ace spectrum is very welcome!! (Non ace people are welcome too, there are (allo)sexual (/non-ace) people on the site too. )
  7. RowanGreyFox

    anyone past 50 on here?

    I lurked before on this forum about 5 years ago. I am 53 and still learning about myself, which is nice. Twice divorced from sexual males (long stories, wonder why...ha) Hello! I guess we're talking about cig smoking. 3 of my five teenage brothers in the 70's smoked when I was little and Dad smoked a pipe (he changed to that from cigs when I was 3). I freaking hated smoking! Being around it made me feel sick. Then what happened? I started smoking in college and have lifelong nicotine addiction. Still vaping now. 🙄
  8. Today
  9. Yeah, it’s an alien concept for a lot of people outside of this community to grasp. trying to explain to friends has been hard.
  10. ryn2

    anyone past 50 on here?

    My ex tried to quit smoking (before I knew him) several times, with a variety of methods and no success, but eventually the right time must have rolled around because he quit mid-pack, threw out the rest of the pack, and never smoked again despite being around smokers regularly. I don’t know about now - it’s been five years since we spoke - but he made it more than 20 years that way. For a long time he had nightmares that he’d started up again, though.
  11. Muledeer

    anyone past 50 on here?

    Like @Tja, I smoked my first cigarette at about age nine. But I didn't start buying them and smoking regularly until age 16. I smoked about a pack per day until I quit at age 48. I still miss it. In fact, when I went to a Nevada casino gambling for a day with my friend last month, we had a smoke and it was an enjoyable experience. My uncle smoked two packs per day and drank beer all of his life, and he died at age 78. His brother (my dad) had not smoked or drank alcohol since WW II and he only lived to age 71. I didn't quit smoking to live longer, but to live a better, healthier
  12. will123

    anyone past 50 on here?

    My father smoked Muriel Magnums as long as I could remember. That was a definite deterrent to picking up the habit.
  13. Natifftoff

    Teen Corner

    A boy in my class was wearing a T-shirt with the Ace colours today. But I couldn't bring myself to ask him about it... : / Thanks! It went really well!
  14. WhiteCatandcherries

    Tips for uni? - feeling like I dont have the time to thoroughly learn all my curriculum

    Thank you for the advice @Old Maid Librarian 🙂 It is just what full time studying looks like at my university (or at least my education). My government pays students money to live on while studying so I dont have/need a job - so this is like also the only thing I do fulltime.
  15. Kelly

    Science Memes

    Let's use base one-zero.
  16. Ceebs

    anyone past 50 on here?

    That was like everyone in my mum's family. She was the black sheep of the family haha, grew up absolutely despising smoking. My dad smoked when my parents met in 1967, but quit cold turkey a few years after that. My parents haven't the faintest clue I took up smoking in 2018 and my mum would be angry and disgusted if she found out. I mean, I can't blame her with all the cancer in her family. My maternal grandparents both died of cancer, although it wasn't actually lung cancer in either case (mum's mum died of bowel cancer at 59, five years before I was born), but a few of her aunts and uncles
  17. LeChat

    AVEN Digest - 4th December 2023

    @Cicero Thanks!
  18. AVEN Digest - 4th December 2023 Visibility: This month's Carnival of Aros blogging event will be on the theme of Aromanticism and Holidays. World Watch: Asexuality will feature in a chapter in volume 11 of the BLU Talks Presents series on Business, Life and the Universe. Asexuality will be the focus of a talk at the Be and Become Summit on Thursday 14th December. Community: UK meetups - Glasgow, Leicester (10th December) The full schedule for 2023/2024 AVEN meetups can be found here.
  19. Old Maid Librarian

    Tips for uni? - feeling like I dont have the time to thoroughly learn all my curriculum

    That sounds like way too many hours! Of course it depends on how many classes you have to take to be considered full-time if your financial aid depends on that, but if you can, I'd suggest cutting back to fewer courses per term. If you have a job, maybe you can afford to cut back those hours too or find something like receptionist where you have slow time to do some reading? I would talk to your advisor about adjusting your course load; maybe you could move some classes around for a better balance of difficult and easy classes so you aren't going flat out in everything. If there is
  20. cauliSunflower

    How do you feel if someone calls you sexy?

    It makes me feel vaguely uncomfortable, but over time I got used to smiling my discomfort away and act like I am flattered, since that always seemed to be the expected response. I got only called sexy by people I was in a relationship with and who said it in a nice way, so I wanted to show my appreciation, because that seemed to be appropriate. I used to get annoyed about it for a while. By now, I let my partner call me sexy, since for them, it's a sign of affection and meant as a compliment. I try to take it like they would call me beautiful in an aesthetic, non-sexual way. It's meant lo
  21. Phalena


    I'm not at work today. Thinking about not going tomorrow, too.

  22. WhiteCatandcherries

    Tips for uni? - feeling like I dont have the time to thoroughly learn all my curriculum

    Thank you for the advice @MarRister!!
  23. binary suns

    binary suns

    according to this guy, no one should try being in a romantic relationship unless they are pure of all red flags

    and if the potential partner has red flags it's just not going to work and you should save yourself heartbreak and get out immediately


    idk what to think about this advice. seems a little extreme? like, people learn and grow, and they want courtship now. 

    1. Lord Jade Cross

      Lord Jade Cross

      I dont date but looking at dating from the outside, I have seen far too much and too often, that folks, on both sides have adopted these sort of checklist requirements that their potential partner must meet in order to "qualify", which is why, the impression I get is that, dating seems more akin to a job interview than getting to know someone


      I dont know if the "scene" that was dating in the late 90's is still a thing nowadays and people meet over something like coffee, the movies, etc But from what Im seeing, that no longer seems to be the case

    2. Epitaph


      Maybe it's because I'm cynical when it comes to people, and I've 20 years worth of solid steady observations about them, I'm half tempted to say the advice is good advice and that it's right.


      But there's one flaw here. Red flags are dependent on the individual. So we can separate red flags into two categories. There's definitive red flags, things that can't be debated against as clear warnings, and then there's personal red flags, which have their merits, but are biased.


      Even if we look at definitive red flags, an example off the top of my head being a guy who fell in love with a drug junkie. Everybody told him that it'd end in pain. And it did. She had a kid with him who developed a lot of complications, and she herself died in an overdose, leaving the guy behind to take care of his son, to which he tried his best as far as I can recall.


      We could in theory view heavy drug use as a red flag, a definitive one that's very high risk. But this doesn't mean that change isn't possible. One in a thousand, maybe one in a million will break free of heavy drug addiction. But if that happens, it isn't because their loved one changed them. It's because they had the willpower to change and take the actions needed to quit, while their loved one assisted.


      But I think reality reaches a leveling off somewhere. One in a thousand make it. Going into a doomed relationship and expecting to be the lucky winner would be asking for pain. But that's another question entirely. Some people go into such relationships knowing that they'll burn. But they go anyway.


      But then let's talk about smoking. Still drug use. But some people tolerate it. Some people have zero tolerance for it. It's a personal choice. I imagine how much more hollow my life would have been had I written off my first love because she was a smoker. Adamantly sticking to the no red flags rule. But she proved that wrong. She quit.


      I think the main thing to all of it is risk assesment and acceptance of said risk. Some red flags can be deal breakers. But not all of them have to be. And even for the big red flags, it's a question of whether you acknowledge the possibility of pain and heartbreak ahead, and are prepared to face it for your own possibly short sighted feelings. 


      That man who fell in love with the junkie? A different kind of person. The relationship killed something in him. But he admitted he'd do it again. For the reasons only he knows, loving her outweighed the pain.

  24. Philip027

    Are you a cat person or a dog person?

    I'm not a <any animal> person, but if I absolutely had to pick one of these, cat. They aren't as noisy, and they generally aren't as touchy either.
  25. Curious Crow

    One random word in Alphabetical order

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