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My gf is asexual.... why am I the only one that has to change?
Serran replied to gatty127's topic in For Sexual Partners, Friends and Allies
Well. True. But, for the most part, non-verbal works for sex in an established relationship. Which is why people don't go further. Some even find needing to make it clear "unsexy"... but the few times it doesn't work can be quite traumatic to people. -
I'm technically a 28C or D (don't let the "C or D" part fool you into thinking that's big, 32A or B is the sister size of that, but the band would be too loose for me), but nobody except a few expensive online retailers sell anything smaller than 32. So I just wear bralettes or training bras despite being 29 years old. They're a lot cheaper than regular bras so at least that's a plus for my broke ass, and they're still comfortable enough for me.
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The objective standard of brainwashing (Theory)
Salmakia replied to xephier102's topic in Philosophy, Politics, and Science
I think this is a fantastic insight. We often think that the best way to convince someone you're right is to argue with them. However, from my experience arguing usually only pushes people deeper into their respective camps since the natural instinct when someone attacks my position is to defend it. You can convince people's minds with facts, overwhelming evidence, and even emotional appeals, but the only way to change what they truly believe at the core of their being is to live peaceably alongside them until they independently recognize the virtue of your path. I believe the only way to do this is by learning to love the people whose ideals you oppose, thereby opening the way for them to love you too. Only when someone loves you will they be open to the idea that you might actually be right. Now, this kind of persuasion takes a lot longer than just arguing, and it also takes a lot more courage. Because of course, in the process of learning to love your opponent, you might come to the realization that you yourself were wrong. And that's a scary thought. So we argue instead, because we are afraid. -
Headlines and news that isn't circulating as much because of media attention on COVID-19
Unleash the Echidnas replied to Yoruka's topic in Off-A
Prosecute the tourists who beat a seal unconscious in Kuryk, just to take a photo with it -
yeah I do through some things in the washing machine (and dryer) that say not to. If it ruins them then fine. If it comes out fine, even better. I don't think I have any "most favorite" chores. Chores are a chore. I don't mind hand-washing dishes (but I don't let them pile up). I don't mind doing laundry (because the machines do most of the work). I really don't like vacuuming (because of the noise and having to bend over while dragging all the stuff around). I don't like yard work (because of heat and sun and the possibility of encountering neighbors). I don't like cleaning kitchens and bathrooms. A domestic god/goddess I am not.
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Voting for Biden ~It's my only reasonable choice~
pickles mcgee replied to GingerRose's topic in Philosophy, Politics, and Science
^This. -
SithApprentice
AVEN is making me hungry again.
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The objective standard of brainwashing (Theory)
SithApprentice replied to xephier102's topic in Philosophy, Politics, and Science
I'm impressed. I hadn't gotten that impression but am willing to admit I was wrong. I also have similar discussions with my partner in order to expose when I'm being too limited in my line of thinking. He and I promised to agree to call each other out on when we think the other is being a dick or close-minded. When I'm being too anti-male and when he's being anti-female, or other situations where we aren't thinking. He's persuaded me to be more in favor of guns than I previously was, for an example that isn't about gender/sex. But yes, to no derail this thread, I still think it's harder than people think. It's hard to be friends with your enemies or opponents, but that's often what makes them consider your side. I won't consume Fox because I think they're too openly hostile against left-leaning people, but I try and find articles or news sites that aren't my preferred ones when it's on an important topic so I know if I'm being biased. But doing so takes a lot of time and effort. And I think that's why our country has gotten so bipartisan lately. We're pushing each other away, claiming the other is brainwashed without thinking we might be or that we all might be. We dismiss any news or information we don't like as "Fake News" or "biased media" and just making everything worse. -
Ooh, hooray! Let's talk about most favorite and/or least favorite chores. My favorites are sweeping and vacuuming--sooo satisfying. I also like laundry, and don't mind washing dishes. Least favorites are dusting, and cleaning the toilet. Getting gross hair out of a clogged drain is kinda cool.
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Voting for Biden ~It's my only reasonable choice~
SithApprentice replied to GingerRose's topic in Philosophy, Politics, and Science
Once Trump is gone and I'm not horrified by the political situation, I'll go back to voting for policies and people than against monsters. I know I wasn't super well informed back during 2008 or 2012, but I at least believed in Obama. He didn't turn out like I had hoped (not defending him here), but I did not feel like when I was able to vote for him in 2012 that it was because I had to. I grew up hating Hilary Clinton for no good reason. Probably because my mom really hated her for some reason and they were right-leaning/Republicans when I was growing up. Still voted for her, as did my parents, in 2016 because of how much my family hates Trump. So in 2020 I will vote for whoever has the best chance against Trump and that looks like Biden. I don't like him. In fact I was hoping he'd never run because I wanted better candidates and knew he'd draw too many people for the others to stand a chance in the primaries. He has said and done some really shitty things that I am not overlooking nor forgiving him for. But I hate Trump more. And I pray our elections go back to me looking at who I support more, rather than whoever has the best shot at beating the one I hate most. -
The objective standard of brainwashing (Theory)
xephier102 replied to xephier102's topic in Philosophy, Politics, and Science
Actually, I learned more from that particular discussion than some would think. I have a habit of coming across as combative, bullheaded, and argumentative, but the best way to envision the reality of how I am is to consider those traits like a rock tumbler for the truth. I will argue something until I'm blue in the face, but often after some time for deep thought and deliberation, I will end up in agreement with the opposing party. Sometimes one must be harsh in order to get to the truths that cannot be obtained through more civil conversation. With all that said, believe it or not, I have actually taken a completely different stance towards women since that thread. I've come to the conclusion that women aren't generally bitches and sluts. A lot can be, but even that is largely the fault of the mainstream media feeding into the political bullshit of third wave feminism. So in other words, they see these women acting like bitches and sluts with superiority complexes on TV, and think that's the proper way to be.. It's really ironic when you think about it.. Feminism has gone so far, that it's effectively gone full circle, and started turning a lot of women into exactly what men have stereotyped them as in the past, and then disguising it as "female power". Lol.. But it's not my intention to derail this thread, so while I'm fine with hearing your thoughts on this, let's try to keep the main topic on the rails (so to speak). And to be fair, ya, I'm human, I've been guilty of much of the things that I fight against these days, but I am also trying my best to progressively improve myself as a person, which is more than can be said for a lot of people out there. - Yesterday
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Voting for Biden ~It's my only reasonable choice~
Gentle Giant replied to GingerRose's topic in Philosophy, Politics, and Science
Yes, I will be voting for Biden. I absolutely do not want Trump reelected. Biden will calm things down and bring stability. He most likely will pick a good vice president. He will also pick people for his cabinet who actually know what they are doing and not dismantle or erode the departments they head. I don’t know how anyone can be so undecided or set on keeping Trump after all he has done and shown us that he is a terrible president. It's not just democrats and people on the left who feel this way. There’s republicans and conservatives who can’t stand Trump either. -
Help? Could I Be Aro?
WaywardHeroine replied to Starlightslaughter's topic in Romantic and Aromantic Orientations
^yep yep yep, same! I assumed I was bi-romantic and just hadn't found the right person, until recently when I met my current partner. They're the kind of person I would have absolutely fallen head over heels in love for, if I were at all capable. That's what has me leaning more towards aro lately. Things were a little rocky between us at first because I was still figuring stuff out. My partner was very supportive and willing to compromise by altering the way they expressed their affection, which made me a lot more comfortable. We're doing pretty well right now! So, I think it's definitely possible for you to find a partner eventually, if you decide that's what you want. If you decide you don't, then that's okay too! -
Breast
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Swimming pool: it is safer (no sharks!) and if you drown, easier to recover your body. Going to the top of 200 floors skyscraper: taking the stairs to the top (walking alone!) or riding an overfilled elevator… and it is going up very, very slow.
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*high fives*
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That’s okay. When the time comes you’ll know. My last parent died more than 20 years ago and a few things that need to go/be donated still haven’t.
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I don't want sex but I like the idea of a relationship..
MichaelTannock replied to NeverlandNative's topic in Welcome Lounge
A very belated welcome to AVEN! I hope you find that kind of relationship! Incidentally, it is a tradition here to welcome new members by offering cake, and here's a "Neverland" cake, https://cakesdecor.com/cakes/136148-neverland-is-now -
Change one letter (5 letters edition)
NerdAlert93 replied to WhatEverDontCare's topic in AVEN Arcade
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I don’t think he would go this far but ironing was by far my ex’s favorite chore and he would sometimes spend hours at it!
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The objective standard of brainwashing (Theory)
SithApprentice replied to xephier102's topic in Philosophy, Politics, and Science
No, it really isn't. I would refer to specific cases, but I think referring to past threads of a specific individual is against the ToS. Suffice to say, I think more people are in Echo Chambers than think they are. People who think they're having civil discussions with opponents but not actually listening to them. People who make sweeping claims against other races, genders, religions, groups, etc. without ever really listening to the other party. -
Well, my boobs are somewhere around medium range, but I would be extremely uncomfortable wthout a bra. They were already sagging when I was 20 years old. Without a bra, I would definitely have chafed skin under my boobs. For the same reason, at least as long as I was fat (but I would still wear it because I find it more comfortable), I always wore a pair of tight knee-legth pants on the rare ocasions when I wore a skirt, because otherwise thigh brushing against thigh ---> invariably, chafed skin. But I think that I would wear some kind of sport bra even I was lucky to have tiny boobs. Due to my nudity aversion, I need at least six pieces of clothing to feel comfortable: panties, bra, vest, pants, top clothing (shirt / T-shirt / tunic / robe* / short and loose dress used as tunic / etc.) and some kind of shoes (slippers at home, but slippers are footwear too...). I just have to feel clothing on my skin and know that I'm well-covered. *In my clothing terminology, a robe is a garment which differs from a tunic by being very long - ankle-length or almost that - and from a dress by not having any marked waistline. Note that I'm not trendy or elegant - I usually dress like an adrogynous hippie, so for me there's nothing weird about going out to town in jeans and a colourful robe.
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The objective standard of brainwashing (Theory)
xephier102 replied to xephier102's topic in Philosophy, Politics, and Science
Actually, it's fairly simple. Just that unfortunately, too many are stuck in those "echo chambers", and will never really see the light. Obviously, fact checking must be done in order to ensure that the information obtained is pure and untainted. I read this and instantly thought of something I said in a facebook post just over two years ago now. "By asking yourself why things don't work out for you then having the humility to dissect your own actions (or inactions) as the possible cause and then the conviction to force change in spite of your own pride and ideals; life can be improved 100 fold for both yourself and those around you." You do realize that the word "common" isn't like "common, hurry up!" right? Lol.. I jest, but the point is, how can something that's common, be subjective? Common sense is something that should be self derived. You need to ask yourself such things as, "would I believe in an all powerful santa clause floating around in the sky and watching me while I shower, if I hadn't been told to believe that by others?", and "What is the factual evidence to support the reality of that theory?" Common sense is knowing things like, psychotically murdering someone at random is wrong. Murdering someone that is trying to kill you or someone that you care about is not wrong, given such common sense factors that you aren't shooting at them with a sniper while they're running across a field towards you with a knife, lol.. Common sense is basic, it's nothing about ethics, Ethics is separate from common sense. That's the thing with common sense in it's purest form; it overrides things like ethics, law, and even justice in some cases. It's also not just about right and wrong, but also things like "the elevator door is open, should I enter?" common sense can easily be used to parse that answer. Questions like "is it full", "is it going in the direction I'm going (up/down)?", "is it plummeting down the shaft, and full of screaming individuals?" However it is correct that some people's common sense can be twisted if they refuse to believe anything that conflicts with what they've been taught. For example, you might hear someone say "well, of course we should believe in god, duh.. that's just common sense!". But one may have the common sense to dissect the reality of such things before calling them common sense. -
Men
