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  2. Ok so yeah, if you've never felt sexual desire for someone for any reason at all that's about them specifically, then that's not what most sexual people experience. How important it is to you to pursue sex for the sake of the physical experience would be what I'd personally use to determine asexuality in this case. If sex is pleasant enough when it happens but you're totally fine going without, that sounds pretty asexual to me. If you super duper love and crave partnered sex and are actively pursuing it with basically anyone who'll have you (NOT saying you are, btw; just using an extreme example to make a point) but you said you were asexual because you didn't feel any specific draw or connection to any of your partners beyond the fact that they were willing... well, I'd question how 'asexual' that behavioural pattern was. Anyway. Doesn't sound like the latter is the case with you. Ultimately, what matters most is that you're open with any partners or potential partners about how you feel.
  3. corneliarose


    Hello, I’m a young adult. I’m heteromantic and I believe that I’m somewhere in the greyasexual spectrum. I don’t know if I’ve experienced sexual attraction before. I’ve tried to feel the attraction. I want to feel the attraction. But every time I do, I feel like something is missing. I can live without it, but I sometimes wish I could experience what others do. I’m hoping that by joining this community, I can come to understand my own sexuality better.
  4. Milo_idk

    Some questions for genderfluid peeps✨

    Heyo everyone, Thanks for taking ur time to reply to this topic! Sorry for the late reply hah😅
  5. Yes very tricky, perhaps I best just stick to having sex with myself. I can barely understand it myself let alone explain it to a partner.
  6. Aceade

    Coffee and a Lack of Empathy (game)

    Rob all of the banks. I can't figure out what the square root of -1 upon 0 is!
  7. Sounds pretty usual for an asexual, to be honest, and not in itself, in the least terrible. I think getting a sexual partner to not be hurt by 'I'm really never bothered about having sex with you, but it's important you want to have sex with me' is going to be ... tricky.
  8. Homer


    I'll answer this later.
  9. I guess I define sexually attracted or not sexually attracted as never having seen someone or been with someone who makes me want to have sex with them. I hear people going on about how sexy they find someone or other and I just can't relate, it is a concept that seems totally foreign to me. Sex to me is physically enjoyable but not necessary and I know this is terrible to say but not emotional or at all about the other person.
  10. will123

    Incredibly Ace Moments

    I had a fairly traumatic (for me) possibly for my friend when even though I booked a room with two beds, it was a single when we opened the door. We had only known each other for a short time and attending a sporting event. This was about a year and a half before I identified as asexual. My head was full of emotions. "Will Tonia think I'm trying to have sex with her? I don't even know how to 'get there'. If she had shown 'affection', how would I react?" I turned and looked at her and the expression on her face wasn't pleasant. I promptly went down to the desk and was able to get a different room for us. What a relief!
  11. The answer to question 1 is no it really wouldn't bother me or perhaps it would bother me as much as if you said I can never go on a rollercoaster again. I guess i would mind a little, rollercoaster are fun to ride every now and then but would it make any difference in my life, not really. The answer to question 2 is difficult because I would not mind if my partner never wanted to have sex with any one but if they specifically didn't want to have sex with me I would be hurt. As much as I don't really understand sexual attraction to a person I would feel like I was lacking something if no one was attracted to me. But I think that might just be a societal thing where women are valued by there perceived attractiveness.
  12. KiraS

    Drag: is it offensive?

    It depends? Depending on where you go, there is a lot of really bad misogyny in drag subculture. On the other hand, drag has been a safe way for many trans people to explore and, depending on where you go, there is a lot of overlap between drag and trans subcultures.
  13. Jade Cross

    Jade Cross

    Day 2 of having pounding headaches and I took 4 pills yesterday. Guess I better hold it off until before going to work to at least be able to pass through the shift relatively better 

  14. MorningHaze


    why did you describe me ?? I have a book to read and I like it but when I want to continue reading, i'm just like "meh i'm not in the mood" but i'm never in the mood and i end up doing nothing. Same for tv shows. It's exhausting 😆
  15. Telecaster68

    Just friends

    I don't think anyone's said it's more important in some objective sense. And for most people, having friendships as a Thing, is just as important as having a partnered relationship. But people only have finite time and emotional energy, and partners do get priority for most people, because they're, well, partners, and lives are far more entwined than with friends. Which isn't to say it's easy - I've felt in a kind of secondary role in friends' lives and it can suck. It's just how it is, in the same way that a parent has more time and emotion for their own kid than other people's. But the fact that this pains you so much, does make me wonder: are the things that you're missing from your friend, things you could get in your actual romantic relationship?
  16. Quasar.w


    Yes, it would be odd if there wasn't considering how many planets and galaxies exist. The only question is what form it has and if we'd ever be able to get in contact with it (which I doubt we will tbh). But some kind of microorganisms could indeed exist in our solar system. I'll try to think about interesting things to share later
  17. Today
  18. Skycaptain


    @Vicki475, welcome to AVEN 🎂 🎂
  19. There's a couple of questions you could ask yourself... 1. If you never had sex again, would it bother you? 2. If you were in a relationship, would it bother you if your partner didn't want to have sex with you? Asexuals tend to say no to these, sexuals tend to say yes. It's a bit clearer than 'do I feel I thing I wouldn't be able to identify because I don't know if I've felt it', as criteria.
  20. How are you defining 'sexually attracted'? You could be aromantic but not asexual if you're still drive to have sex with people. Aromantic sexual people exist.
  21. Skycaptain


    I'm an expert at productively procrastinating, where, instead of say, doing a tax return, I'll vacuum the carpet instead
  22. So one thing I am sure of is that I am aromantic. I feel no need to have a romantic partner in life. I also do physically enjoy sex and see myself as a sexual person. However I have never been sexually attracted to someone. I can tell when someone is good looking and might be a desirable sexual partner but I just don't desire people or have crushes on them. So I guess my question is can you be Asexual and still have a desire to have sex? I hear so much about asexual people being disinterested or repulsed by sex and not being sexual people, it really confuses me...
  23. Elsin


    Hi Vicki, thanks. Yeah I remember my mum asking me at first, 'so you're confused?' and I was pretty firm when I said I wasn't. She'd never heard of asexuality but after I explained what I meant she said it made a lot of sense. The community is welcoming, yeah, I'm looking forward to meeting more aces.
  24. Mz Tricky


    I tend to leave things I don't really want to do, but I have to do, until the pressure builds and I respond to the deadline. If it is something I actually want to do then I will get on with it.
  25. Elsin


    Hey, thanks. Well I was just very direct about it. I couldn't offer much of an explanation as to why I feel how I do, but I just talked about my previous relationships and how I wasn't interested in the sex, except for in my earliest relationship, and the fact that I haven't really looked at anyone in a sexual way for years. They are fine with it but I don't know if they care enough to really read into it, and to be honest I mostly keep it to myself.
  26. Skycaptain

    core aesthetic?

    Without the 'tache though 😋😋
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