Incredibly Ace Moments

[you*hear*but*do*you*listen]

Remember all those double entendres then went over your head? How about that sex joke a friend told at a party that had to be explained to you? Or that dull, irritating sex scene in an otherwise good movie that all your friends said was "hot?"

Discuss your most ace of asexual moments in this thread. Here's one of mine: I was watching X-Men with a group of friends, and Wolverine was running around in the basement of Xavier's school without a shirt. I went, "For crying out loud, Wolverine, get a shirt on." My friends chorused, "No, Wolverine, keep your shirt off!"

[Miala]

I remember once watching a film with my mum where there was a 'morning after' scene, and the lovey-dovey couple not-so-slyly insinuated that they hadn't had much sleep the night before. I turned to my mum and asked, "Wait... So what were they doing all night?" I don't think I've ever seen her look so awkward.

Though it's not really an especially pleasant memory, I remember being invited to stay over at someone else's house with a bunch of other boys from my class when I was about twelve. They got to talking about who they 'liked', and eventually I was asked. I was more or less oblivious to what they were talking about, so I just gave the name of the girl that I was best friends with. But as kind and sweet as she was, I guess she wasn't...really the type of girl teenage boys are supposed to dream of. So after a few moments of silence, I got 'No, seriously, who do you like?'. And, even more confused, I volunteered the name of my best male friend. Who happened to be present. Suffice to say I didn't get invited to any more sleepovers with those boys. ^^;

Oh, and there was one incident during sex education when I was fourteen. A couple of people were coming in to give a talk on safe sex, and we were pulled out of the lessons we were meant to have had that day and given the talk in groups according to our gender. Maybe I was just in a foul temper that day. We had had sex education classes before, and I had always been happy enough just to space out and nod along through them. But I couldn't understand why music, my favourite class, had been cancelled. And why I had been separated from most of my best friends just because I was male and they were female, and sat in a room full of boys I really didn't feel comfortable around. So I found myself rather uncharacteristically doing my best to be annoying and disruptive throughout the lesson. And when we were given bananas and asked to put condoms on them, I just casually peeled and ate mine. I was generally very well behaved in high school, and it was the only time I ever got sent to the principal's office. Part of me wants to be proud of myself. If you're going to get into trouble in high school, then you might as well do it in style. And it's not everyone who can say they've been lectured for eating a penis banana. ^_~

[Asexydragon]

And when we were given bananas and asked to put condoms on them, I just casually peeled and ate mine.

:lol: If I was a guy I totally would have done that

[avril]

I don't like to watch movies with my family, cuz I know there will probably be sex scene or something like that and I know I would feel embarrassed.

Actually, even those movies in cinema with age limit 14 have sex scenes. For example, 'The Heartbreak Kid'.

So if I go to cinema I go just to movies with age limit 12 or lower:)

My classmates talk about sex almost all the time, they think it's funny. I try not to bother at all and ignore them:) It works..

[cijay]

I never 'didn't get' double entendres, they're just childish.

[SlightlyMetaphysical]

Here's one of mine: I was watching X-Men with a group of friends, and Wolverine was running around in the basement of Xavier's school without a shirt. I went, "For crying out loud, Wolverine, get a shirt on." My friends chorused, "No, Wolverine, keep your shirt off!"

Heroes Season Three Chapter Nine spoilers:

That bit where Elle and Sylar were having the big romantic scene and she zaps him with lightning. His shirt completely burnt away into nothing, so he did the rest of the scene topless, but his jeans were completely intact.

I have a theory that the most profitable use for Elle's powers is to burn the shirts off handsome young Petrellis. <_<

My god, I've missed spoilers. I can't wait until the Dr. Who thread comes back.

[chipmunkgirl]

I was about fourteen at a sleepover and the discussion was "how far" everyone had gone. When asked, I launched into a story of how I would pretend to want to kiss boys (as a child) so that they would not destroy our snowforts... which usually worked miraculously, except for this one boy who said OK and I actually ended up kissing him on the cheek.

Which was clearly not what they wanted to hear. And which I only realized about halfway through my story, when the other girls started looking at me funny.

[epithet]

I don't know if this counts as 'not getting it'...but when I was twelve I was at summer camp, and i was taking a little elevator trip back up to my floor with my roommate's boyfriend and a couple of other people. We were just talking and joking around, and somehow it got to the point where he started making the 'kissy-face' <_< I hate that word...at me and took a few steps toward me. Just a joke, of course, but I had no idea how to respond. So, instead of just laughing and ducking away, I shoved my back against a wall of the elevator, planted my foot in his stomach, and sent him flying to the opposite wall. Luckily, everyone only had a second to stare at me before the doors opened on my floor.

[Dexlar]

I remember when I was younger and I watched Hocus Pocus for the first time and I had no idea what virgin meant. I asked my dad and he said that he would have "the talk" with me and to think of as many questions as I could. So I asked what a virgin was and he told me, then asked if I wanted to know anything else. I told him I didn't and I went to go rewatch the movie. (Clearly a sign that I was asexual from birth)

[Næt.]

[watching some girls dance a 'sexy' dance on a stage for some presentation or other]

Me thinking: I hate this song. I really really hate this song.

[Eras]

This happened awhile back. I cam and sat down into conversion that was already intermeids res. Anyways they were using fruits as references to gentles and I wasn't catching on. At one point someone said I have nice banana in my box and I asked if he was going to eat it and if not if I could eat it.......safe to say they still think I'm gay.

[you*hear*but*do*you*listen]

When my parents first gave me "the talk" (which I barely remember), I immediately found it completely irrelevant; I even forgot what sex was called, and my parents had to give me rehashes of "the talk" three times before I started remembering.

I once asked a classroom teacher how early humans first knew to have sex, since why would you do it if you didn't know it was necessary for reproduction?

In middle school, when I overheard a guy explaining the fact that he was dating a girl because she "had a nice body," I was disgusted and it became lodged in my head that any person who found another person sexually attractive was a pervert.

When one of my friends lost her virginity at 14, I was ranting about it to my mom: "She says he loves her, but how could he? If you love someone, why would you do something with them that could get them pregnant or sick with an STD?" My mother replied, "Some people see it as an act of love." I retaliated crossly, "Mom, that makes no sense."

[that_american_kid]

I once asked a classroom teacher how early humans first knew to have sex, since why would you do it if you didn't know it was necessary for reproduction?

I've actually been wondering precisely that. What did your teacher say?

Also, I'm taking Anthropology next semester. I may have to get up the courage to ask the professor. Then again, somebody warned me that he seems to think that sex is a social construct. (I'm sure it's not.) Could he be Ase? hahha

[you*hear*but*do*you*listen]

I once asked a classroom teacher how early humans first knew to have sex, since why would you do it if you didn't know it was necessary for reproduction?

I've actually been wondering precisely that. What did your teacher say?

He replied by thinking about it for a few seconds, then saying, "I think you might call it instinct." (This was in 5th grade. He probably thought he would get APPC--Angry Parent Phone Calls--if he elaborated.)

[that_american_kid]

I once asked a classroom teacher how early humans first knew to have sex, since why would you do it if you didn't know it was necessary for reproduction?

I've actually been wondering precisely that. What did your teacher say?

He replied by thinking about it for a few seconds, then saying, "I think you might call it instinct." (This was in 5th grade. He probably thought he would get APPC--Angry Parent Phone Calls--if he elaborated.)

He was probably right. :) I bet this comes up in Anthro, hopefully before I lead the GSA meeting about asexuality. Then i'll understand it a little bit better.

[spinelli]

Well, even though I understand most of dirty jokes and comments, I try not to react much to them, because I don't want people to notice I'm reacting some weird way for a normal girl.

I know it sounds fake and all, but thinking deeply enough, I guess sometimes I do really find some dirty jokes funny. I just despise sexual comments, like: "Look at that girl's boobs, or, look at that guy's ass." - I mean, in relation to girls, I hate those comments because I find they are a lack of respect for females. It's like most guys are still apes/animails drooling over a female to copulate with. Don't get me wrong, I'm trying not to be offensive about it. It's just my point of view.

Luckily, most people (girls) thinks like this too, although not as strongly repulsed as me, but I do disguise most of it so people won't think I'm some kind of weirdo. Again - I am. I define myself being a freak. Or at least, I thought I was one...because I've never really liked going to watch romantic movies with friends, even worse with my family. I always felt jeaulous for my friends being capable of discussing sexual/romantic/situations with their parents or family and friends during movies, or at least, not feeling awkward all over and just enjoy the full movie.

I've never managed that. So I always try for comedy movies or action or adventure so I don't have to deal with this awkwardness. I'm getting better though, with time.

I guess.

Ok fine, I'm still the same about this. But at least I've finally discovered why I act like this, which somehow helps me to deal with it naturally ^^

[CrazyCatLover]

Conversation at age 12 with my dad with our respective tone of voice in parentheses:

Me (causal): I don't want to have kids until I've been married a few years, so I don't think I'll have sex until then.

Dad (bluntly): Well, no, you'll have it on your wedding night.

Me (appalled, worried): What? Do I have to?

Dad (reassuring and trying not to laugh): No, of course not. But you'll want to by then.

[Fayiirah]

A couple years ago, two of my friends had band practise. As they were allowed to practise in the hall, I was able to talk to them. One of them asked me and my other friend what we found "kinky on boys." I gave her a blank stare and after about five minutes of thinking, I simply said "I don't know." After not being able to get answers from either of us, she toned it down to "what do you like on boys?"

I also remember when I was about 7 kissing my best friend at the time because he pissed me off.

See, he had this huge crush on me and kissed me on the cheek occasionally. I got mad at him and kissed him as a revenge of sorts.

[Marco - Proprietor of Doom]

Me and my friends were about to watch a DVD, but as it turned out my brother left a porn DVD in the DVD player again and it was one of my friends who found it, and some how they talked me into letting them watch it. <_< (seeing as no one was home anyway)

So there I am sitting with my arms folded the picture of discomfort, as my friends gaze at other people having sex, when a blow-job seen comes up,

it is at this point I remember I still have the remote in my hands. As the seen came to its "Climax" I pressed the reverse button, and bodily fluids started going the wrong way. I fell over laughing at the reactions to this as I had just ruined the moment for every one, and one of them even gave a disgusted "Ewww," to which I responded to with "welcome to my world" but more as a joke really. :lol:

[X Phoenix X]

haha my moment is porn related too. I was house sitting for a coworker when they were at the beach and while looking for some xbox games to play I stumbled upon this video. It was called "anal therapy 4". I actually thought that perhaps my coworker had an interest in colonics and that it was some type of instructional video. Disinterested I sat the VHS aside and found The Matrix video game. Hours later my sister and friend came over and they saw the video. They of course popped it in (knowing what it really was). All I remember was about 5 seconds of genitals and this woman's long red fingernails. I left immediately and emailed my friend about something philosophical like materialism and spirituality or something. I remember ranting in the email about how my friends were watching porn and I thought it was so stupid. Man I wish I still had that email, I bet it was riddled with super ace comments. My friends then proceeded to uncover the coworker's disturbingly huge stash of hardcore porn while I played with the cats.

[aoikiwi]

I remember this conversation from high school:

Me: "I must have heard that wrong, right?"

Guy-Friend: "No, you heard right."

Me: "Really? But why the heck would you have corn on your computer? Like, a can of corn? On top of your computer?"

Guy-Friend: "Uh... what? No, porn. Pornography."

Me: "...Cornography?"

I remember that somehow I managed to convince myself that it was a new study involving green energy. It made total sense at the time.

What do you call that? The opposite of a Freudian slip. An anti-Freudian slip?

(Sorry, edited!)

[Guest back_slash123]

when we were reading Canterbury tales in English my teacher said "they doing what people do in the dark at night." and i said "hide and go seek?"

[zoidberger]

A Freudian Lisp?

[BalladOfJayne]

Heroes Season Three Chapter Nine spoilers

I thought that about that scene, too! It completely distracted me for the entire scene.

Speaking of TV, I'm a big Supernatural fan, and I'll be the first to admit the two leads are gorgeous (in fact, I often am). I'm drawn to pretty and I'm straight, so, yes...big fan of the Winchesters. Having said that, I'm forever getting strange looks from people when I try to convert them to the show because the pitch always goes like this, "Two good-looking brothers fight demon crime blah blah blah THEY DRIVE THE BEST CAR IN THE WORLD." From this point on, all I can talk about is how gorgeous and pretty and shiny the car is (it really is and I have great love for classic cars, even though I despise driving). If I get too many looks, I try to ammend things with, "You understand the boys are really attractive, right? Because the car is prettier than they are." Then I give up and change the subject. Often to how I'm still bitter over the cancellation of Drive, since I'm still fixated on the classic car thing.

In real life, a common misconception made about me by friends is that because I never complain about my romantic entanglements, I am a relationship guru. I try to explain that it's not hard to have a perfect track record when you don't actually have a record, but no one seems to get it. Not even when my advise consists of "Boyfriends/girlfriends are stupid. Don't have sex, because it's kind of gross, it always complicates things, and you always come crying to me when it goes down the toilet. You people are all insane." I think maybe they think I'm joking? I honestly don't know why I keep getting asked. No one ever follows the advice. Perhaps they think that's a joke, too.

[santanico]

1) I was 15. Friends talked about masturbation. I (curiously): What's that? I don't remeber exactly how they explained it but I understood it includes touching your penis. Back at home I was eager to try it, but nothing happened.

2) Weekend: I went to a night club with a friend of mine. Afterwards he insisted to come along with him into a brothel. I couldn't resist. I don't recall exactly, but I think he even had sex with one of the prostitutes.

[you*hear*but*do*you*listen]

On Valentine's Day my senior year of high school, I wore a shirt that said "Happy Commercialized Pheromone Overactivity Day." (Yes, I made that shirt; the other years of high school, I went Goth on V-Day). I also call Valentine's Day "that day in February when sex is exchanged for chocolate and impossible-to-chew candy hearts."

[Teagan]

I've always been able to pretend to be fully sexual. I've always understood all the sex jokes, I've always been able to identify someone I "like", etc. I don't really enjoy sex scenes in movies but I definitely enjoy hot guys in movies. I know how sexuals are supposed to act. I'm just fairly certain I'm not one... it's very weird.

[Val]

A bunch of friends playing that game 'dirty minds'. It's a bunch of cards with questions on them that are suppose to make you think of dirty things when the answer is always very tame. I always win this game :D

"what vibrates and goes between your legs?" motorcycle!

"a premature evacuation?" fire drill!

the only problem is that I usual don't get what everyone else is thinking of so it's a very boring game for me.

[you*hear*but*do*you*listen]

A bunch of friends playing that game 'dirty minds'. It's a bunch of cards with questions on them that are suppose to make you think of dirty things when the answer is always very tame. I always win this game :D

"what vibrates and goes between your legs?" motorcycle!

"a premature evacuation?" fire drill!

the only problem is that I usual don't get what everyone else is thinking of so it's a very boring game for me.

HAHAHA asexuality for the win. Yes, being ace can help with games; since so many of my friends had dirty minds, I wouldn't be that great at the "dirty minds" game, but I always kick a lot of ass at Never Have I Ever.

[Amcan]

I find I;m actually the one to think of the dirty stuff....

Will they take my badge away?

Although occassionally I think pussy always means a cat.