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I'm not sure if this is asexual related or not, but I remember when I was a younger teenager and I was with a group of friends and somebody had mentioned something about someone else 69ing. Everyone else smiled or nodded or showed some general interested but I was soooo confused. I actually asked "what the hell is so special about the number 69?" Everyone looked at me like I had 2 heads. "You don't know what a 69 is?" but i could only respond with a look of befuddlement. So an older woman that was with us actually started drawing me a diagram with chalk on the pavement with stick figure people, hoping I would get it. "That's his head, that's her head" when she got to drawing where the legs of the stick figures began is when it clicked in my head-they each have their head in the others crotch. I felt so relieved to finally understand the term, but a little grossed out at the same time.

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1 hour ago, BradleyG said:

I'm not sure if this is asexual related or not, but I remember when I was a younger teenager and I was with a group of friends and somebody had mentioned something about someone else 69ing. Everyone else smiled or nodded or showed some general interested but I was soooo confused. I actually asked "what the hell is so special about the number 69?" Everyone looked at me like I had 2 heads. "You don't know what a 69 is?" but i could only respond with a look of befuddlement. So an older woman that was with us actually started drawing me a diagram with chalk on the pavement with stick figure people, hoping I would get it. "That's his head, that's her head" when she got to drawing where the legs of the stick figures began is when it clicked in my head-they each have their head in the others crotch. I felt so relieved to finally understand the term, but a little grossed out at the same time.

TMI, but

Spoiler

I tried that position once in my last relationship and I do not get the hype at all. Rather awkward and uncomfortable, the angling is all wrong and my legs would just start cramping up :lol:. 0/10 would not do again 

 

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4 hours ago, fragglerock said:

For sexual people they have to be a little clever with the logistics because it's not socially acceptable to say "I want to have sex with you so let's go to your/my house". It's almost unheard of to mention it so it's very common to say something else like the classic "want to come up [to my apartment] for coffee?" It also has the benefit of being technically ambiguous so if they change their mind they can put the brakes on later.

Ugh. That seems so disingenuous though, people like us that DO just want to see puppies and drink coffee are basically being lied to. 

 

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25 minutes ago, i.r3beka said:

Ugh. That seems so disingenuous though, people like us that DO just want to see puppies and drink coffee are basically being lied to. 

Only if there's no puppies/Coffee!

 

If you go up and recieve your free coffee and go home, you've got what you want, and its just the other person who is confused. :D

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6 hours ago, BradleyG said:

I'm not sure if this is asexual related or not, but I remember when I was a younger teenager and I was with a group of friends and somebody had mentioned something about someone else 69ing. Everyone else smiled or nodded or showed some general interested but I was soooo confused. I actually asked "what the hell is so special about the number 69?" Everyone looked at me like I had 2 heads. "You don't know what a 69 is?" but i could only respond with a look of befuddlement. So an older woman that was with us actually started drawing me a diagram with chalk on the pavement with stick figure people, hoping I would get it. "That's his head, that's her head" when she got to drawing where the legs of the stick figures began is when it clicked in my head-they each have their head in the others crotch. I felt so relieved to finally understand the term, but a little grossed out at the same time.

Don't feel alone my younger brother (ee were teens) laughed at how 'Exit 69' on our local freeway was vandalized by having 'er' spray painted on it.

 

I asked him what was so funny but he wouldn't say. I couldn't see what was so funny...

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5 hours ago, squishward said:

TMI, but

  Hide contents

I tried that position once in my last relationship and I do not get the hype at all. Rather awkward and uncomfortable, the angling is all wrong and my legs would just start cramping up :lol:. 0/10 would not do again 

 

Thank you.

 

Spoiler

I can't see how a person could do one thing to the other person while being distracted...

I'll just leave it at that...

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13 hours ago, fragglerock said:

For sexual people they have to be a little clever with the logistics because it's not socially acceptable to say "I want to have sex with you so let's go to your/my house". It's almost unheard of to mention it so it's very common to say something else like the classic "want to come up [to my apartment] for coffee?" It also has the benefit of being technically ambiguous so if they change their mind they can put the brakes on later.

I don’t drink coffee so if I was in those situations I’d probably unintentionally completely sabotage myself by being like, “Oh no thanks, I don’t drink coffee 😇😅.” Someone got me into their house alone at night once and I’m pretty sure I just accidentally brushed them off like a bajillion times within the span of a few hours. Plus, if someone invited me to their house and I hadn’t known them for a long time, I’d probably be like, “Are you sure it’s a good idea to invite someone you don’t really know too much about to your house? I could be crazy for all you know.” Like seriously, it’s dangerous. And I wouldn’t invite anyone to my house, let alone allow them into my room, cause it’s a mess 😅.

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10 hours ago, nineGardens said:

Only if there's no puppies/Coffee!

 

If you go up and recieve your free coffee and go home, you've got what you want, and its just the other person who is confused. :D

I guess that’s true haha. Hmm free coffee <3.

 

That whole hookup culture though I feel like is ruining some good things. Like Netflix and chill. Netflix and lounging about the house seems fun and now that is ruined too because now you have to just say Netflix, which I don’t like because it’s not suggestive of other fun stuff. I don’t want to JUST watch Netflix. I also want to go get Chinese food, cuddle a puppy, and throw scrabble tiles at my friends when I lose :P .

 

*I actually don’t like scrabble as much as probe but like nobody has that game anymore so :(

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1 hour ago, Arodash said:

There have actually been studies showing that hookup culture is harming more traditional relationship building, I personally find it uncomfortable that theres people out there just looking for sex with random people which just is NOT safe

Right?! Thank you! And I hate how sometimes when you criticize hookup culture people will say you’re being misogynistic. I’m sorry, what?

 

Praising men for promiscuity and condemning women for promiscuity is misogynistic. 

 

Saying you think a culture of promiscuity is having negative fallout isn’t. 

 

And you’re right it’s not safe. The very best possible outcome would be that those people get their wallets stolen, that would be getting off lightly. Not to mention the possibilities of diseases or getting murdered. 

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On 10/25/2019 at 10:44 PM, Bradley92 said:

I'm not sure if this is asexual related or not, but I remember when I was a younger teenager and I was with a group of friends and somebody had mentioned something about someone else 69ing. Everyone else smiled or nodded or showed some general interested but I was soooo confused. I actually asked "what the hell is so special about the number 69?" Everyone looked at me like I had 2 heads. "You don't know what a 69 is?" but i could only respond with a look of befuddlement. So an older woman that was with us actually started drawing me a diagram with chalk on the pavement with stick figure people, hoping I would get it. "That's his head, that's her head" when she got to drawing where the legs of the stick figures began is when it clicked in my head-they each have their head in the others crotch. I felt so relieved to finally understand the term, but a little grossed out at the same time.

The first time that I heard a joke involving that number it was about someone’s grade on an assignment (and oblivious me thought that it was funny to fail an assignment by a single point), after I heard people laugh at the number a few more times, I started to get suspicious about it and ended up going with the mindset that I developed near the end of that year of “If I don’t know something that appears to be common knowledge to everyone around me, it most likely involves sex in one way, shape, or form”. I don’t understand why anyone would want to do that, but I’m the same sex-repulsed asexual that questions why anyone would want to do anything at all related to it in the first place. It isn’t for me.

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On 10/26/2019 at 5:33 AM, Darth Plagueis the Wise said:

The girl was dating a different friend at the time so I’m not sure how they even got to that.

It would surprise you how many people seem to have no problem with cheating (until it happens to them...), or don't see it as cheating if "there are no feelings involved".

 

I had a discussion with a colleague after we heard that a student cheated on his pregnant girlfriend with another girl from his class. I was appalled, but my colleague found it very natural to cheat if you "couldn't get it" within your relationship. So instead of actually talking about problems, you just go behind someone's back and cheat.

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3 hours ago, SpaceDustbin said:

It would surprise you how many people seem to have no problem with cheating (until it happens to them...), or don't see it as cheating if "there are no feelings involved".

 

I had a discussion with a colleague after we heard that a student cheated on his pregnant girlfriend with another girl from his class. I was appalled, but my colleague found it very natural to cheat if you "couldn't get it" within your relationship. So instead of actually talking about problems, you just go behind someone's back and cheat.

This is something I totally don’t understand. If you aren’t happy in a relationship then just leave. Cheating is more damaging than a breakup. And let’s not get started on “couldn’t get it” because I just don’t understand the need for sex...

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Cheating pisses me off so much. Like, really? Is this how mature individuals act? Lying to someone who’s supposed to be your soulmate and basically betraying them in probably the worst way that’s emotionally possible? How about stop being a coward and be honest for once. It sickens me to see people who have the nerve to just **** on someone’s unconditional trust. If I was ever in a relationship and the other person cheated, it’d be over, no second chances. How could I trust them ever again after that? Actions have consequences, and I would never let that slide.

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8 hours ago, Arodash said:

Our earth orbits our sun, and our sun along with the rest of our solar system, as well as all the others in the milkyway galaxy, are constantly orbiting a supermassive black hole. Also with that the universe is constantly expanding. Bear in mind that in relation to what we feel down on earth these massive interstellar bodies are moving VERY quickly.

 

Why do I bring this up? Well, if for say time travel could be possible. You would need to also be able to calculate exactly the position the earth was at, at the exact same time you plan to travel backward in time. Otherwise you could appear, in space, inside another planetary body. And who knows what else

Was that an ace moment? :lol: 

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1 minute ago, Arodash said:

dread that we are just a tiny tiny speck in an otherwise massive universe

Personally I never got why that would cause dread. I think it's cool there is this huge grand universe, and don't mind being a small part of it. :D 

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4 hours ago, Arodash said:

Well because! We are humans and we cant possibly be small we need to be the center of the universe! Duhhhhh lol no I love that theres this massive space for us to explore, whats dreadful to me is that, right now, we cant. 

We ARE the center of the universe. If you have an infinite immeasurable space, that has no borders, how can it be said that any point therein is not the center? 

 

Yes, the black hole is the center of our area, but WHERE is that black hole in relation to space?

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9 minutes ago, i.r3beka said:

We ARE the center of the universe. If you have an infinite immeasurable space, that has no borders, how can it be said that any point therein is not the center? 

 

Yes, the black hole is the center of our area, but WHERE is that black hole in relation to space?

Before you know it we will be talking about the meaning of life.

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1 hour ago, Arodash said:

What IS the meaning of life?

42 (that took Deep Thought to come up with that)

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2 hours ago, daveb said:

42 (that took Deep Thought to come up with that)

Well damn. And here I thought it was the cultivation of virtue.

 

*this is of course an incomplete answer but a full answer would get off topic of the thread

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On 12/5/2008 at 11:58 AM, Teagan said:

I've always been able to pretend to be fully sexual. I've always understood all the sex jokes, I've always been able to identify someone I "like", etc. I don't really enjoy sex scenes in movies but I definitely enjoy hot guys in movies. I know how sexuals are supposed to act. I'm just fairly certain I'm not one... it's very weird.

Me too. As I kid I knew that sexual attraction was a real thing, and I would find somebody that I would be attracted to (because that’s how the human mind works, right?). But no, that didn’t come around for me.

 
dang this was posted more than a decade ago.

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@sailor ^ so true. I think because of what society ingrains in us from a young age it's hard to differentiate from what I actually feel versus how I'm "supposed" to feel. I'm constantly questioning myself. I am completely aesthetically attracted to people and I want to cuddle and hug but sex is just meh. Ive had to play it off for so long before I knew was asexuality really was. So I also laugh at "dirty jokes" and have sex conversations with people who I haven't come out as ace to (yet, hopefully). 

 

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AceMissBehaving

A friend just posted an inspirational quote of “you deserve great orgasms” and my brain instantly chimed in with, “girl I deserve way better things than that”

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nerdperson777

Idk if I posted this yet.  I heard firework sounds coming from my roommate's computer, specifically from The Sims.

 

Me: *looks at computer*  Why are you lighting fireworks in the bedroom??

Roommate: Because there were "fireworks" in the bedroom.

Me: ...I see.

 

She also talked to other girls in the game so I asked if she was going to befriend all the lesbians.  She asked, "why would I make friends with guys?"  Later she proposed to a girl in the bathroom because the partner happened to be in the bathroom when she was looking for her.  Very romantic, indeed.

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50 minutes ago, nerdperson777 said:

Idk if I posted this yet.  I heard firework sounds coming from my roommate's computer, specifically from The Sims.

 

Me: *looks at computer*  Why are you lighting fireworks in the bedroom??

Roommate: Because there were "fireworks" in the bedroom.

Me: ...I see.

 

She also talked to other girls in the game so I asked if she was going to befriend all the lesbians.  She asked, "why would I make friends with guys?"  Later she proposed to a girl in the bathroom because the partner happened to be in the bathroom when she was looking for her.  Very romantic, indeed.

Huh. Kids these days. *In my dad’s tone of voice* WHEN I WAS YOUR AGE we didn’t do these foolish things. When I was your age I used to build walls around the NPC sims so my sims could have the place to themselves.

 

 I’m aging myself though. Those were the days, I used to love the urbz sims. I feel old.

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On 10/27/2019 at 4:40 AM, SpaceDustbin said:

It would surprise you how many people seem to have no problem with cheating (until it happens to them...), or don't see it as cheating if "there are no feelings involved".

 

I had a discussion with a colleague after we heard that a student cheated on his pregnant girlfriend with another girl from his class. I was appalled, but my colleague found it very natural to cheat if you "couldn't get it" within your relationship. So instead of actually talking about problems, you just go behind someone's back and cheat.

This doesn’t make sense to me, but then again other humans are weird.

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borderprincess
19 hours ago, AceMissBehaving said:

A friend just posted an inspirational quote of “you deserve great orgasms” and my brain instantly chimed in with, “girl I deserve way better things than that”

This made me laugh out loud on the subway ahaha, incredible

 

Edited by borderprincess
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On 10/28/2019 at 1:02 PM, AceMissBehaving said:

A friend just posted an inspirational quote of “you deserve great orgasms” and my brain instantly chimed in with, “girl I deserve way better things than that”

I mean, sure, but I don’t need anyone else for that, and I can buy stuff that’ll do that pretty cheaply. And, I also deserve many other better things, like puppies and cake. 

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I grew up in a very straight household with 8 brothers and a twin sister ( who is really into sex) so alot of innuendos I understand because I am so used to it but there are some that do fly over my head. Last week a coworker of mine said something a long the lines of ' tell me what girl, who works for this company, wouldn't be desperate to f*ck me?'. I automatically raised my hand. It took him a moment to remember that I was asexual. Although the question was insulting to all the women in the com pi any ( And, yes, I have reported him numerous times for his  sexist comments), the situation itself was amusing to me.

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On 10/28/2019 at 3:32 PM, Bunnymoon said:

@sailor ^ so true. I think because of what society ingrains in us from a young age it's hard to differentiate from what I actually feel versus how I'm "supposed" to feel. I'm constantly questioning myself. I am completely aesthetically attracted to people and I want to cuddle and hug but sex is just meh. Ive had to play it off for so long before I knew was asexuality really was. So I also laugh at "dirty jokes" and have sex conversations with people who I haven't come out as ace to (yet, hopefully). 

 

Yea, this! For so long I thought I must be some sort of allosexual since I was brainwashed to think so. Even if none of these sexual orientations clicked for me, I didn't think I could be "yet something entirely different". Instead, I tried harder to squeeze myself into one of the given molds. It felt like I had to try harder, be more serious, grow up, somehow change myself.

 

I also experience aesthetic attraction pretty easily, but I'm aroace. It took ages for me also to differentiate aesthetic attraction from romantic attraction because of "everyone experiences romantic feelings". It felt like I had to try harder, become more loving, give people a chance, somehow change myself again. 

 

I can't believe it took me so long to recognize my experiences, and even struggled twice with it, first with sexual attraction and then with romantic attraction. And I think it was mostly due to my complete lack of knowledge about aro/ace experiences. You just can't imagine you're something that does not exist in your worldview.

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