AceMissBehaving Posted January 20, 2020 Share Posted January 20, 2020 3 minutes ago, Halffull said: Well if they’re happy to make it, and they’re happy to give a refund then I’m happy to let them. Everyone is happy so what’s the problem? Because the person making it has spent money on materials, turned down other work to complete the project and made their budget to live off based on the outcome of this project. If you then send it back they are out the cost of fabrics, the work they couldn’t do to complete the project, and the money they had budgeted for bills and expenses leaving them in a hole with money and now with a dress made specifically to find a unique individual that may take months or even years to sell on for return in investment, and something that can’t be sold for full price because it presumably needs cleaning and now is considered second hand. On top of that the crushing weight off all that and knowing someone lied to you and cheated you intentionally and treated your hard work and passion as garbage. It’s not a victimless crime. If you want the fruits of someone’s work, you pay for it. How would you feel doing a months work and your boss turning round at the end and saying they aren’t going give you a wage, but will maybe give you 2 weeks off at some point maybe later in the year? 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
ryn2 Posted January 20, 2020 Share Posted January 20, 2020 8 minutes ago, Halffull said: Well if they’re happy to make it, and they’re happy to give a refund then I’m happy to let them. Everyone is happy so what’s the problem? Just that ultimately if too many people go that route the workers get let go because there’s no income to pay them from... Quote Link to post Share on other sites
AceMissBehaving Posted January 20, 2020 Share Posted January 20, 2020 6 minutes ago, Halffull said: Great idea. I’ll sell on my old jeans 😂 You should, it cuts down on global waste Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Halffull Posted January 20, 2020 Share Posted January 20, 2020 1 minute ago, AceMissBehaving said: Because the person making it has spent money on materials, turned down other work to complete the project and made their budget to live off based on the outcome of this project. If you then send it back they are out the cost of fabrics, the work they couldn’t do to complete the project, and the money they had budgeted for bills and expenses leaving them in a hole with money and now with a dress made specifically to find a unique individual that may take months or even years to sell on for return in investment, and something that can’t be sold for full price because it presumably needs cleaning and now is considered second hand. On top of that the crushing weight off all that and knowing someone lied to you and cheated you intentionally and treated your hard work and passion as garbage. It’s not a victimless crime. If you want the fruits of someone’s work, you pay for it. How would you feel doing a months work and your boss turning round at the end and saying they aren’t going give you a wage, but will maybe give you 2 weeks off at some point maybe later in the year? Oh well, next jeans I order better fit then if it’s that big a deal sending them back Quote Link to post Share on other sites
ryn2 Posted January 20, 2020 Share Posted January 20, 2020 10 minutes ago, CBC said: I break up the monotony of daily life with the bottle of vodka I keep in my freezer. Eventually that becomes the monotony of everyday life, though. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Halffull Posted January 20, 2020 Share Posted January 20, 2020 1 minute ago, AceMissBehaving said: You should, it cuts down on global waste Not as big a waste as wedding dresses it seems Quote Link to post Share on other sites
AceMissBehaving Posted January 20, 2020 Share Posted January 20, 2020 1 minute ago, Halffull said: Not as big a waste as wedding dresses it seems I don’t know, I’m all about paying skilled people a good wage for their work, and I don’t see that as a waste of it’s something they want. But hey you can keep buying stuff made in sweatshops that only profit some big CEO and feel morally superior if that floats your boat. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Halffull Posted January 20, 2020 Share Posted January 20, 2020 1 minute ago, AceMissBehaving said: I don’t know, I’m all about paying skilled people a good wage for their work, and I don’t see that as a waste of it’s something they want. But hey you can keep buying stuff made in sweatshops that only profit some big CEO and feel morally superior if that floats your boat. Well I see it as a waste spending 10s of thousands for a dress that’ll get worn once Quote Link to post Share on other sites
anisotrophic Posted January 20, 2020 Share Posted January 20, 2020 I think it’s unfair to characterize all formal gatherings as self-centered, although certainly some weddings can be. But when there’s family and friends that care about the couple — family in particular, and parents as a particular subset — it’s an opportunity for them to express that, and formality recognizes the importance to them (realize that they won’t have the bonding & memories the couple already knows for themselves). Seeing their child be married comes after years of caring and watching that person grow. And in our case, it was the only time our respective parents met each other. Maybe that will happen again, but maybe not. It’s not the only event people may find meaningful to attend. (I hope they understood at least 20% of my thesis defense??) Didn’t spend as much on that, but I think of it in that zone of “formal events people like to recognize”. 🙂 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted January 20, 2020 Share Posted January 20, 2020 If I ever get married it's just going to be like.. wild pig on the spit, giant BBQ, probably a hangi too - that's food cooked in sacks under the ground. Lots of beer. I don't need a wedding dress or priest or vows or anything, and we'll sign at the registry office. But if someone wants to spend all that money on a wedding then *shrug* I guess if they have the money to spend then good for them! I'll come along for the buffet if they invite me Quote Link to post Share on other sites
iff Posted January 20, 2020 Share Posted January 20, 2020 2 hours ago, AceMissBehaving said: Not typically the best application for such delicate fabrics. A person could sell the dress on after, making it available to people who couldn’t afford that kind of item bought new. Charity shops are really good idea fof wedding dresses, either buying from or disposing of to. There is a new wedding dress shop in dublin called Belladonna. I don't think I'd name a wedding shop after something poisonous 2 hours ago, Halffull said: Well if they’re happy to make it, and they’re happy to give a refund then I’m happy to let them. Everyone is happy so what’s the problem? If I was in the wedding dress business, I'd so Google any returns, deep search on it and see any photos that maybe would be evidence of wearing it or even announcements and such Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted January 20, 2020 Share Posted January 20, 2020 2 hours ago, Halffull said: Well I see it as a waste spending 10s of thousands for a dress that’ll get worn once Heh yeah ... I spent $30 on mine and it's one I can wear again if I want to (casual 50s style blue dress) but probably won't because I am not really a dress person. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted January 20, 2020 Share Posted January 20, 2020 10 minutes ago, Serran said: Heh yeah ... I spent $30 on mine and it's one I can wear again if I want to (casual 50s style blue dress) but probably won't because I am not really a dress person. I was so confused, I somehow totally forgot you're married haha. I even remember seeing the wedding photos now that I think about it. Congratulations!! (Not sure if I said that at the time) Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted January 21, 2020 Share Posted January 21, 2020 2 hours ago, Pan Ficto. (on hiatus?) said: I was so confused, I somehow totally forgot you're married haha. I even remember seeing the wedding photos now that I think about it. Congratulations!! (Not sure if I said that at the time) Haha thanks. Yeah. Almost two years now... still cant live together. *sigh* Quote Link to post Share on other sites
ryn2 Posted January 21, 2020 Share Posted January 21, 2020 13 minutes ago, Serran said: Yeah. Almost two years now... still cant live together. *sigh* Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Halffull Posted January 21, 2020 Share Posted January 21, 2020 4 hours ago, Serran said: Heh yeah ... I spent $30 on mine and it's one I can wear again if I want to (casual 50s style blue dress) but probably won't because I am not really a dress person. So why does it cost 30 and not 30k? I don’t get where the mark up comes from. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted January 21, 2020 Share Posted January 21, 2020 15 minutes ago, Halffull said: So why does it cost 30 and not 30k? I don’t get where the mark up comes from. Because it was cotton, not French lace with hand made blah and tailored bleh with pearl inlay and blah blah. 😛 I mean the dresses are pretty (usually) I just dont get the spending all that money on one thing. I'd rather buy a car than put 10k on a wedding. Or down payment for a house. but then my wedding had 5 people at it and my mom didn't even come 😛 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Halffull Posted January 21, 2020 Share Posted January 21, 2020 Saves buying a “mother of the bride” dress too. think it demonstrates though the huge mark up that is charged on these things. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
AceMissBehaving Posted January 21, 2020 Share Posted January 21, 2020 1 hour ago, Halffull said: So why does it cost 30 and not 30k? I don’t get where the mark up comes from. I literally told you 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Halffull Posted January 21, 2020 Share Posted January 21, 2020 13 minutes ago, AceMissBehaving said: I literally told you Told me what? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted January 21, 2020 Share Posted January 21, 2020 I'm sexual but.... I get worried about my desires some days Y_Y Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Halffull Posted January 21, 2020 Share Posted January 21, 2020 8 hours ago, CBC said: Lol someone needs to get this thread back on track. It's like a... random chat thread now. My fault as much as anyone else's, but. (God what is my life. Just woke up and plan to go back to sleep for a while yet, but I "needed" to check AVEN... 😂🔫) Good idea. DONUTS!!!! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
ryn2 Posted January 21, 2020 Share Posted January 21, 2020 37 minutes ago, CBC said: I'm tired of sexuality right now. Yours, or everybody’s? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
ryn2 Posted January 21, 2020 Share Posted January 21, 2020 1 hour ago, CBC said: Mine, I guess. Kind of meant as a throwaway comment really, but sometimes it would probably be handy to be asexual. It’s like straight hair v. curly. Everyone envies what they haven’t got. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted January 21, 2020 Share Posted January 21, 2020 5 hours ago, CBC said: In what ways? (Don't have to answer if you don't wanna.) Aspects of what I want just.. it's starting to muck with my head and confuse me a bit. The people I'm finding myself attracted to I guess is concerning me a bit because it'll make life veeeery difficult if that's what I end up stuck with Y_Y 6 minutes ago, CBC said: A small flat in an old house (interestingly, that's exactly what my first place was like), green walls, lots of plants, wooden floors that creaked and a claw-footed bathtub and a record player and walls lined with books and the radio always playing. That's a beautiful image ❤️ 7 minutes ago, CBC said: Don't-need-anyone-else sort of thing. Yeah I know what you mean. Things would be a lot simpler and more peaceful that way.. well, it seems that way some days anyway. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Traveler40 Posted January 21, 2020 Share Posted January 21, 2020 I came out of the flu fog to this heavy...and it’s only Tuesday. My counter thought: yeah, ‘tis fearful. But: Better to have loved and loss than to have never loved at all. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Traveler40 Posted January 21, 2020 Share Posted January 21, 2020 Been flat on my back feeling like a truck ran me over and missed all the wanderings in the weeds. 1. Weddings - never wanted one, had one, enjoyed every second. To have everyone I loved from all corners of the world in one spot for a handful of days will never be reproduced again. It was magical. 2. The dress - because why not? I felt like a princess. It’s true, once you spot it, you know. I teared up instantly. 3. I’m still reading the thread. So much. We need to rename this thread. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Traveler40 Posted January 21, 2020 Share Posted January 21, 2020 Except here’s a thought en pointe: I’m sexual, but have zero desire for anything remotely sexual when sicker than a dog. My lover has been a doll: taking the kids to and fro, wanting to bring me food and such, looking like a tall drink of water from afar, etc. Yet, I haven’t the slightest desire for sex at the moment. Just no. The flu bites! 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Traveler40 Posted January 21, 2020 Share Posted January 21, 2020 Just now, CBC said: random chat thread, SPFA edition? That could do it - this is so recent, just have Pumpkin Spice rebrand it! 👍🏻 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
ryn2 Posted January 21, 2020 Share Posted January 21, 2020 53 minutes ago, CBC said: there are times I miss that other version. It does have a certain appealing simplicity. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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