ryn2 Posted January 18, 2020 Share Posted January 18, 2020 1 hour ago, Serran said: What's wrong with "I like sex fine but to me it isn't emotional at all, just exercising together"? Most people I know have had sex without emotion just for the sake of sex. Some tie it together to emotions in a relationship, some dont. Nowadays sex being casual and non emotional seems more widely accepted. Nothing, really. That would have been accurate a while ago but it isn’t anymore... now afaik I’m effectively ace with a Non-Ace Past(tm). Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Philip027 Posted January 18, 2020 Share Posted January 18, 2020 Quote Oh I've obviously got it saved, lol. She commented something like "I don't know you Kat, but apparently you look like Gillian Anderson/Scully" and then was like, "Oh wait, I do know you..." 😂 I actually don't think it's the greatest painting haha, for once I prefer real me and I'm not sure it looks like me, but whatevs. To me your picture there more resembles Sarah Michelle Gellar, actually, or maybe a bit of a blend between the two. And I'm honestly shocked that I know who she is; I'm usually very terrible with this sort of thing The drawing of you doesn't actually have me thinking of SMG at all; I think it's because they narrowed your eyes a bit. One of those cases of a slight alteration making a pretty big difference. That's it for my unprofessional, not to mention completely unwarranted analysis! 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
anisotrophic Posted January 18, 2020 Share Posted January 18, 2020 Yeah falling in love online just happened naturally, not a forced "get to know you" like online dating... My spouse and I were both on the same chat channel for years, all sorts of nerdy stuff, sometimes personal. Going to direct message conversations that became more personal & chatting with each other about our current relationship attempts. Eventually it was like "if we lived near each other we could try a date" and he flew across the ocean to try that... One thing leads to another and now we've got a mortgage, 2.5 monsters, 0.5 sex changes. Normal stuff. 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
ryn2 Posted January 18, 2020 Share Posted January 18, 2020 6 minutes ago, Traveler40 said: I don’t think that’s @ryn2’s issue. Correct me if I’m wrong Ryn, but the issue is that you start out fine (without connection and all) but you lose all desire in fairly short order. Yes? Maintaining the relationship is the challenge, not so much defining exactly what it’s like for you. Correct? It depends on what you mean by fast. Historically it took a couple of years for it to be gone completely, and then usually another year of trying before I was sure it was gone-gone. The last situation followed a different course and was arguably a mistake from the beginning. I just thought after more than 20 years ago we had ultimately made it to a place that worked for both of us. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted January 18, 2020 Share Posted January 18, 2020 @CBC They're actually a pretty good artist, but there are definitely things I notice in that painting that differ from the photograph. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
ryn2 Posted January 18, 2020 Share Posted January 18, 2020 2 minutes ago, anisotrophic said: One thing leads to another and now we've got a mortgage, 2.5 monsters, 0.5 sex changes. Normal stuff. Picket fence? 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
ryn2 Posted January 18, 2020 Share Posted January 18, 2020 4 minutes ago, Philip027 said: That kinda strikes me more like Sarah Michelle Gellar, actually, or maybe a bit of a blend between the two. And I'm honestly shocked that I know who she is; I'm usually very terrible with this sort of thing I don’t see SMG there... looks more like ceebs and Gillian had a kiddo. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Snao Cone Posted January 18, 2020 Share Posted January 18, 2020 2 minutes ago, ryn2 said: I don’t see SMG there... looks more like ceebs and Gillian had a kiddo. When I saw this as the last comment of this thread in my news feed, I didn't know who "Gillian" was and first thought of someone I know by that name, which made it sound really really weird. 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
anisotrophic Posted January 18, 2020 Share Posted January 18, 2020 Just now, ryn2 said: Picket fence? I'd have to run it by the HOA but I bet it wouldn't meet their guidelines. Plaster walls in some shade of taupe, that's the local variant 😛 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
ryn2 Posted January 18, 2020 Share Posted January 18, 2020 49 minutes ago, Pan Ficto. (on hiatus?) said: @Philip027 who were you quoting who said "I've always wondered how people fall in love onlove"? I want to see the rest of their comment but can't work who said it!!! It me! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Snao Cone Posted January 18, 2020 Share Posted January 18, 2020 Also, if we're sharing pictures from 2012: Spoiler (I'm drunk and will not apologize for hijacking this thread) 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
ryn2 Posted January 18, 2020 Share Posted January 18, 2020 On 1/15/2020 at 2:29 PM, ryn2 said: I have never, ever, in my entire online life (even back to before the web) developed romantic feelings for anyone I have met online. I have had some crushes (from pictures, never exclusively from written interactions), and developed many friendships all the way from “friendly acquaintance” to “best friend imaginable,” but I’ve never even started falling in love with any of them. Historically my in-person experience has been basically the opposite of what Traveler describes: meet someone, crush or UST that leads to sex, then talk and realize “hey, wow, I can talk to this person for hours! I really like them!” I wonder if meeting people in a writing-based, distance-only way and getting to know them well before meeting them hops them past the limerence and into the part where I care a lot about them but have no sexual interest in them at all... and therefore my caring reads as friendship for me and not as romantic love? Huh. I’ve always wondered how people fall in love online. @Pan Ficto. (on hiatus?) to save you some digging... Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted January 18, 2020 Share Posted January 18, 2020 7 minutes ago, CBC said: Weird shit. 😄 I wouldn't know what to make of that either. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Snao Cone Posted January 18, 2020 Share Posted January 18, 2020 7 minutes ago, CBC said: @Snao Cone What are you holding?? A cowbell 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Traveler40 Posted January 18, 2020 Share Posted January 18, 2020 9 minutes ago, CBC said: @Snao Cone What are you holding?? I tried to make that out too - black traffic cone or some kinda funky hat 🎩 EDIT: a cowbell - go figure. Shoulda had a guessing game. Never would have gone with cowbell. 😂 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted January 18, 2020 Share Posted January 18, 2020 @CBC That seems like a nice gesture but pretty obviously something that wouldn't suit your tastes. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
ryn2 Posted January 18, 2020 Share Posted January 18, 2020 9 minutes ago, Snao Cone said: A cowbell Hockey! 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Snao Cone Posted January 18, 2020 Share Posted January 18, 2020 3 minutes ago, ryn2 said: Hockey! It was actually for musical purposes. That was taken at one of the early recording sessions for the band I was in at the time. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
ryn2 Posted January 18, 2020 Share Posted January 18, 2020 Just now, Snao Cone said: It was actually for musical purposes. That was taken at one of the early recording sessions for the band I was in at the time. Also a fine purpose. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted January 18, 2020 Share Posted January 18, 2020 1 hour ago, ryn2 said: Nothing, really. That would have been accurate a while ago but it isn’t anymore... now afaik I’m effectively ace with a Non-Ace Past(tm). Well, I mean, with the way you described your ex I would go back to not wanting sex ever too. So cant blame you. But... "I'm not into sex anymore" would work then ? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
anisotrophic Posted January 18, 2020 Share Posted January 18, 2020 1 hour ago, anisotrophic said: My spouse and I were both on the same chat channel for years, all sorts of nerdy stuff, sometimes personal. Going to direct message conversations that became more personal & chatting with each other about our current relationship attempts. Eventually it was like "if we lived near each other we could try a date" and he flew across the ocean to try that... Oh yeah I'm remembering the first phone call. Getting a phone card to make the call. Totally rolled by the British accent. Couldn't think straight, and so of course I launched into babbling about a really interesting paper I read recently about structural color in organisms. 😂 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
ryn2 Posted January 18, 2020 Share Posted January 18, 2020 19 minutes ago, Serran said: Well, I mean, with the way you described your ex I would go back to not wanting sex ever too. So cant blame you. But... "I'm not into sex anymore" would work then ? Good points! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Philip027 Posted January 18, 2020 Share Posted January 18, 2020 Quote Also it just occurred to me that the person who painted that portrait of me that I posted... has no bloody clue what they facilitated. I similarly never would have imagined that the strained relationship between my mom and I would result in someone seeking me out and eventually marrying me, but to me that's one of the cool things about love/romance/mushystuff, you really never know where it'll potentially come from. Sometimes some pretty awesome things come out of some pretty fucking shit things. It's largely because of this experience that I've begun learning to be able to let go of my past negative experiences and not let them keep me down in the dumps so much (which is kind of an issue sometimes with depression) 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Halffull Posted January 18, 2020 Share Posted January 18, 2020 18 hours ago, Serran said: Well, I mean, with the way you described your ex I would go back to not wanting sex ever too. So cant blame you. But... "I'm not into sex anymore" would work then ? Another ex with weird hobbies? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
ryn2 Posted January 19, 2020 Share Posted January 19, 2020 1 hour ago, Halffull said: Another ex with weird hobbies? Nope, he just wasn’t great at it and (insisted endlessly on hearing what I would like better but) never actually took direction/made any changes. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Halffull Posted January 19, 2020 Share Posted January 19, 2020 11 hours ago, ryn2 said: Nope, he just wasn’t great at it and (insisted endlessly on hearing what I would like better but) never actually took direction/made any changes. Stick with donuts. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
ryn2 Posted January 19, 2020 Share Posted January 19, 2020 28 minutes ago, Halffull said: Stick with donuts. Sadly, I had a situation (entirely nonsexual!) with donuts years ago so they are a big nope. More for you? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted January 19, 2020 Share Posted January 19, 2020 21 minutes ago, CBC said: I got married in a coffee (and donut) shop... that's my donut-related story. Tim Hortons, 1.00 am, 20/04/2011. One guest. The marriage didn't turn out to be what it was supposed to, but I don't regret that part of it. If I ever marry again, you can bet it'll be a similarly understated affair. Can't stand wedding fusses. My first marriage was in a funeral home with the morticians assistant as our witness and the mortician as the person doing the ceremony. No guests. On my exs lunch break from work. It was just for medical insurance though, since I couldnt get any without being married or having hundreds a month to pay for private. My wedding to my wife was small, 3 guests and the maid of honor / best man. On the beach. I dont get having huge weddings! Seems stressful. But the question is... did you have a donut cake ? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted January 19, 2020 Share Posted January 19, 2020 35 minutes ago, CBC said: Oh whoa, that's... well, that's certainly... a place. Nope. I ordered a mug of tea after and my husband got a hot chocolate maybe I think? Had to pay for them. Some guy on staff offered us a free pastry and we politely accepted it even though I couldn't eat it because of my nut allergy. Then we wandered around a 24-hour Walmart for a while and I bought a bag of toffees. We went home and my husband went to sleep and I ate toffees and smoked weed. That was my wedding night, lol. Haha what a night ! Hopefully if you marry someone else the wedding night will be a bit more interesting at least! 😛 I didn't have a good wedding night either time. I kind of want to renew vows with my wife eventually so I can have a do over with her on the whole thing, given the thing you know about. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Xstatic Posted January 19, 2020 Share Posted January 19, 2020 Both of my wedding nights of past were pretty terrible. In hindsight they were both red flags, but in either case it was too late anyways. 🤷♀️ 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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