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I'm sexual but...

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Pumpkin Spice Eggnog Latte

This is a thread for sexuals to debunk common misconceptions about themselves.  For example

 

Hi, I'm Kisa.  I'm sexual, but I haven't had sexual contact in over a year.  Right now I would prefer to have the chicken that my dad is cooking than sex with the person next door.

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Kimchi Peanut

I’m sexual but I don’t masturbate

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anamikanon

I am sexual, but I have no intentions of having sex with my ace unless he WANTS it - which is not likely.

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Kimchi Peanut

I’m sexual but I have never wanted sex with a stranger.

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Pumpkin Spice Eggnog Latte

I'm sexual but if I'm listening to a podcast at work I really don't want graphic sexual descriptions.

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Serran

I'm sexual but I don't find people I don't know hot or sexually appealing at all

 

I'm sexual but I have sex for love, not lust

 

I'm sexual but I don't ever watch porn or read erotica or really even want the sexy scenes in movies/tv (I skip or watch my phone during)

 

 

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Skullery Maid

I'm sexual but I've never gotten aroused solely by looking at or thinking about someone who wasn't my partner. 

 

I'm sexual but I, like Kisa, tend to dislike graphic sexual descriptions (for me, pretty much across the board unless it's a specific and intentional conversation about sex). 

 

I'm sexual but very vanilla. 

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anamikanon

I am sexual, but it is rare for me to want to have sex with someone. I think a lot of people see sexuals as someone who wants sex. With whoever, however, interchangeable partners as objects. For me without emotion, sex is pointless. I'm super at giving myself climaxes. Don't need a partner for that.

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Skullery Maid
Just now, anamikanon said:

I'm super at giving myself climaxes. Don't need a partner for that.

😂😂

 

Right though?! Like I need to be dealing with a whole other human who will insist on talking and have preferences, when i could just... not. 

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Serran
1 minute ago, anamikanon said:

For me without emotion, sex is pointless. 

I don't even know how to orgasm without emotion involved. Like... I gotta be thinking of a person I care about (if solo) or be with a person I care about. Some rando in person or in porn is not gonna do anything but turn me right off. But, get my wife involved in any way? Fully into it, thanks ! 

 

My ex used to call sex with randoms just exercise. I don't get how it appeals. 

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CBC

I'm sexual but that whole thing where people's bodies randomly nag at them for sexual release in a very biologically-based sort of way (and this seems to be true for many asexuals as well) literally never happens to me. Which doesn't mean I don't masturbate, just that it's always a choice borne of "ok, that sounds like a good idea right now" OR I've been interacting with my partner and my body is... being responsive, lol. And (TMI?), I've done it multiple times in a day sometimes, for either or both of those reasons, so I'm not saying that means it's super infrequent as a result of my body never feeling that urge all on its own out of the blue. But it definitely makes me feel like... cannot relate... when asexuals come on here and talk about how much they dislike having to masturbate, even feel repulsed by it, but they're really driven by bodily urges so they can't just not bother. If I was asexual and hated masturbating, didn't find it enjoyable at all, it didn't feel good physically, and of course I had no partner to whom I tied my desire and libido, I could just never do it and that would be that. (Which is not to say that I don't believe those aces! Definitely do.)

 

Also yeah, I've never become physically aroused due to the appearance of a stranger. And I don't recall ever finding a stranger attractive and immediately jumping to imagining sex with them, either. I just... I get butterflies in my stomach, act like a nervous dork, and that's kind of it. I don't think about sex with people I don't know. I don't even think about kissing them.

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Serran
15 minutes ago, CBC said:

I'm sexual but that whole thing where people's bodies randomly nag at them for sexual release in a very biologically-based sort of way (and this seems to be true for many asexuals as well) literally never happens to me. Which doesn't mean I don't masturbate, just that it's always a choice borne of "ok, that sounds like a good idea right now" OR I've been interacting with my partner and my body is... being responsive, lol. And (TMI?), I've done it multiple times in a day sometimes, for either or both of those reasons, so I'm not saying that means it's super infrequent as a result of my body never feeling that urge all on its own out of the blue. But it definitely makes me feel like... cannot relate... when asexuals come on here and talk about how much they dislike having to masturbate, even feel repulsed by it, but they're really driven by bodily urges so they can't just not bother. If I was asexual and hated masturbating, didn't find it enjoyable at all, it didn't feel good physically, and of course I had no partner to whom I tied my desire and libido, I could just never do it and that would be that. (Which is not to say that I don't believe those aces! Definitely do.)

 

Also yeah, I've never become physically aroused due to the appearance of a stranger. And I don't recall ever finding a stranger attractive and immediately jumping to imagining sex with them, either. I just... I get butterflies in my stomach, act like a nervous dork, and that's kind of it. I don't think about sex with people I don't know. I don't even think about kissing them.

Haha yeah I don't get that either. I like orgasms but if I don't get it... isn't that big a deal. I just move on to doing something else. Never felt a need for release. 

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CBC

Oh lol, since Skullz edited something else into her post...

 

34 minutes ago, skullery said:

I'm sexual but very vanilla. 

Yes, thank you for this trait haha. I'm not sure we would work too well if that wasn't the case. My brain just doesn't really get... kinky or whatever. 🤷🏼‍♀️

 

(Of important note: vanilla =/= boring. 😎)

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Serran
Just now, CBC said:

Oh lol, since Skullz edited something else into her post...

 

Yes, thank you for this trait haha. I'm not sure we would work too well if that wasn't the case. My brain just doesn't really get... kinky or whatever. 🤷🏼‍♀️

 

(Of important note: vanilla =/= boring. 😎)

I like both kink and vanilla, or kinky vanilla swirl. 

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Pumpkin Spice Eggnog Latte

I'm sexual but one of the reasons my last relationship didn't work out is because my partner had a much higher sex drive

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Serran

I'm sexual but I hate oral, anal and PiV. Hands are so much more versatile than other body parts. 

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Pumpkin Spice Eggnog Latte

I'm sexual but I prefer oral.  Hands can be pretty big and clunky and PiV is usually a no go because of vulvodynia.  Anal is also a no go.

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thylacine
59 minutes ago, Kisa needs a coffee said:

This is a thread for sexuals to debunk common misconceptions about themselves.  For example

 

Hi, I'm Kisa.  I'm sexual, but I haven't had sexual contact in over a year.  Right now I would prefer to have the chicken that my dad is cooking than sex with the person next door.

There, finally, something I have in common with a sexual person.  I'd rather have a chicken dinner than sex, too.  :)

 

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CBC

I'm sexual but when I was growing up, I NEVER talked about crushes with my friends, or things like hot celebrities. I didn't actually care about hot celebrities whatsoever and for some reason I felt like crushes were things to keep very private. It just seemed... too personal.

 

And thirding the no anal. I have never had anal sex in my life and do not intend to at any point. I would feel gross and violated and would probably cry as the... erm, receiver... and simply cannot fathom being the giver. Also as someone with lots of digestive problems, I cannot conceive of that area being sexy in any way whatsoever.

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Skullery Maid
8 minutes ago, Kisa needs a coffee said:

I'm sexual but I prefer oral.  

 

10 minutes ago, Serran said:

Hands are so much more versatile than other body parts. 

I can't choose. 

FfAk.gif

 

16 minutes ago, CBC said:

Of important note: vanilla =/= boring. 😎

THANK YOU YES. It's definitely not this sort of thing... 

 

tenor.gif?itemid=5137997

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Serran
1 minute ago, skullery said:

 

FfAk.gif

 

 

Haha we just ask you to pick between two favorite things ?

 

 

 

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Skullery Maid
1 minute ago, Serran said:

Haha we just ask you to pick between two favorite things ?

 

I WANT GIRLS ON BREAD. 

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CBC
1 minute ago, skullery said:

THANK YOU YES. It's definitely not this sort of thing... 

 

tenor.gif?itemid=5137997

Yeah, NO. 🤮

 

Vanilla doesn't have to mean hetero-style missionary position sex, and it also doesn't have to mean it's gentle, sweet... and kinda boring, haha. Gentle and sweet are for cuddling; sex that isn't physically intense mostly seems like a waste of time to me.

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Skullery Maid
1 minute ago, CBC said:

sex that isn't physically intense mostly seems like a waste of time to me.

Or at least hella awkward 

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Serran
Just now, CBC said:

 

 

Vanilla doesn't have to mean hetero-style missionary position sex, and it also doesn't have to mean it's gentle, sweet... and kinda boring, haha. Gentle and sweet are for cuddling; sex that isn't physically intense mostly seems like a waste of time to me.

And kink can be sweet and gentle. I've had some pretty gentle not that intense sexual sessions in kink. 😛 So doesn't have much to do with kink or vanilla as much as what people prefer doing. 

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CBC

Oh lol, this is a silly one, but.

 

I'm sexual but I got super grossed out by an acquaintance's very sexual (and very poorly written) poetry on Instagram yesterday. I forced Skullz to endure its awfulness via screenshot as well. 😂 KEEP THAT SHIT TO YOURSELF, NO ONE WANTS TO KNOW.

 

2 minutes ago, skullery said:
3 minutes ago, CBC said:

sex that isn't physically intense mostly seems like a waste of time to me.

Or at least hella awkward

Ohh, well yes, that too.

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Pumpkin Spice Eggnog Latte
6 minutes ago, skullery said:

I WANT GIRLS ON BREAD. 

 

I felt Joey in that moment.  I want that too man.

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anamikanon

I'm a sexual, but I've never felt attraction for ANYONE without meeting their brain first. No first sight anything for me. Eye candy gets aesthetic appreciation without the slightest interest in sex.OTOH, I can have a crush on someone by watching their YouTube channel - and they don't even have to look super handsome or anything. Just be super knowledgeable when they open their mouths. No pressure, huh?

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CBC
8 minutes ago, anamikanon said:

I'm a sexual, but I've never felt attraction for ANYONE without meeting their brain first. No first sight anything for me. Eye candy gets aesthetic appreciation without the slightest interest in sex.

Close to this for me? I've felt very casual attraction to someone based kind of on demeanour... interaction style and appearance, I suppose... but also not in a serious way. Not in a way that would prompt me to want a date with them (let alone sex). I've only ever had full-on crushes based on someone's character. I've known aces on here who are wayyyyy more visually-driven, attraction-wise (obvs not in a sexual way), than I could even fathom being.

 

(Which is not at all to say I'm not physically attracted to my partner.)

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RoseGoesToYale
1 hour ago, CBC said:

that whole thing where people's bodies randomly nag at them for sexual release in a very biologically-based sort of way (and this seems to be true for many asexuals as well) literally never happens to me. Which doesn't mean I don't masturbate, just that it's always a choice borne of "ok, that sounds like a good idea right now"

Omg literally this. I masturbate, but there's no hormones-taking-body-hostage-with-a-penknife like "Listen up, if you don't do something right now, the adrenal glands get it!" kind of thing.

 

Y'know, after reading this thread, I think I might not be asexual at all. 😂

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