Incredibly Ace Moments

[piuro2]

 A girl gave me her ig about 30 seconds after we met, we talked for couple minutes and I left for my German class. Apparently someone saw that and rumor spread, I became extremely confused why I was being called a "rizzler" and "rizzly bear" by people. IDK why the girl wanted my instagram, but she had a boyfriend it seems(?) - not like it changed anything 🤣.

[Brøøklyn]

Smells can be sexually appealing?! What did I miss?

[Tystie]

I’ve just found out what one of my favourite Blondie songs is about. That I didn’t know Union City is a place didn’t help, but I thought the song was a blue collar anthem about unionised workers and maybe the decline of industrial cities. I didn’t know it was about a love affair let alone that there were possible double meanings in the lyrics.

 

Oh, well, whatever it’s about, Union City Blue still sounds fantastic.

[piuro2]

8 hours ago, Brøøklyn said:

Smells can be sexually appealing?! What did I miss?

Today I learned!

[An Ace Witch]

On 1/12/2023 at 2:09 AM, Passer said:

Ever since realising I'm aspec I am much more aware of how sexualised our world is. I've spend most of my life just following the conventional paths, just brushing things aside or accepting them for normal (no two people are ever exactly alike, so we all have our little differences). Or conforming myself without fully realising that was what I did. 

I hang out in fandom circles online and there's a lot of sexualising of characters. I don't really have a problem with that, I can just scroll past or filter it out if I don't want to see it. And I can always appreciate the aesthetic qualities of good fanart. However, knowing more about asexuality nowadays, the comments on certain fanart really start to stand out for me. It's like I only now realise that the people posting those things actually mean them (on some level). Which can really weird me out, even though I consider myself pretty knowledgeable when it comes to sex.

 

Also, I remember using to like the comedy 'Two and a half man', but whenever I see it now I can only focus on how sexualised the female actors are and how much of the joke material is misogynistic (like, 90%).

Yes, I feel you! I joined fandoms when I was like 12/13(ish) before I realized I’m ace. Fandoms are fun but sometimes the sexualization is just suffocating. I used to think lots of it was just turns of phrase, so I would say things I realize now are kinda sexual and when I see old posts I’m just like “NOPE😳” lol.
I totally get what you mean about conforming without realizing it. I did that and now I feel like I’m still trying to un-conform certain things and explore who I actually am instead of what I tried to make myself be. 
All in all, I feel you! 

[An Ace Witch]

On 1/9/2023 at 8:19 PM, vxttlz said:

when i was in junior high school, i was in a group chat with several of my friends. the contents of that thing was almost always shirtless photos of male celebrities. my friends would gush over the photos and i'd be like "???? okay???" all i saw back then was just abs, and i appreciated them in a sense that these people must've worked out so hard to get those looking so good. i never saw them in a sexual way. in hindsight, that was actually a big sign of me being ace

Yes, I hear that! My mom is a huge fitness person and I went to the gym a lot as a tween/teen so like… I knew what it takes to get abs and I would just see photos and be like “dam, I wonder what their gym routine is/what’s their diet/I wonder how much they lift?” etc. 
Tbh I would look at pictures sometimes too but like… for the aesthetic? Because it’s insane our bodies can actually look like that, I think. I love human anatomy too so I appreciate it from both a fitness/science perspective but like you said, never sexually. I still don’t understand how seeing that makes someone wanna *do things*. 

[Janus the Fox]

Sex smells sells I guess, I think that's what most aftershaves and perfumes are for potentially.  A shame both of those trigger migraines in me.  Sex itself smells... well that's the various smells from the body, including body washes, also so called pheromones if one believes that.

[Lilibulero]

I'd a bizarre ace moment yesterday. I went to the cinema with a friend, to see 'T`ar' ( brilliant film, great soundtrack).

Half way through, I noticed someone getting up, presumably to go to the toilet, and didn't think anything of it.

 

Then, when they came back, they didn't go to their original seat, which was on the other side of the stairs, but on the same row as us.

 

He came and sat one seat away from me, so, knowing I had my shopping in my bag, which was in the next seat to me, I removed my bag out of his reach and put it at my feet.

 

To my horror, he moved swiftly into the seat beside me! So I put my best Billy Connolly voice on and told him to hop it ( using different words than I have here), whereupon, the strange guy legged it to his previous seat.

 

My friend was almost on the floor, doubled up with laughter, and when the lights went up after the film, it became obvious he'd gone back to sit beside his wife and he'd mistaken his seat for the one next to me.

 

Guess he'll be more careful now🤣

[Barbio]

While watching a TV show with my housemates, in which there's a scene with a shirtless guy:

 

All three of us at the shirtless guy: "Dude, put a shirt on!!!"

One of my housemates: "I mean, sure, it must be hot where they are in the desert, but at least a shirt would protect him from the sun's rays."

Me: "He could always put on a wet shirt."

*Awkward silence as my housemates stare at me uncomfortably*

Me: "That way the evaporation from the sun would cool him off!"

Me, in my head: Oh, God, I can tell by their glares that what I just said must have some kind of sexual connotation that I was unaware of...

[daveb]

Like a wet t-shirt contest?

[nickolekuebler]

I was at work one day and talking to my boss in his office, when I came out one of my male coworkers said he was surprised I wasn't wearing knee pads. I came back with why would I need knee pads to talk to the boss. It was later that day when it finally dawned on me what he meant. 

[nickolekuebler]

On 1/13/2023 at 6:37 AM, ElevenElysion said:

I have a few ones...

 

My mom is an art teacher and is used to painting nudes. When I was a kid everytime we were in the library in the art section she would shove a book of nude men in my face and run away, but my reaction was always 😑 instead of flustered like she hoped.

 

And when I was watching Black Swan and there was the self touching orgasm scene I audibly sighed and said 'no woman has an orgasm just by touching herself. This is ridiculous' 🙄 and my mom was like 'Are you serious?'😆... I know now the terminology but I still don't understand. 

 

Also I am dancer (as a hobby, but I dance everyday and perform sometimes) Black Swan makes absolutely no sense to me still. You get comfortable with your body through yoga and stretching and balance training. Plus you're supposed to make sharp specific shapes in ballet so loosening up is for freaking jazz dance, not Swan Lake smh.

 

And when I was in my art class (follow in my mom's footsteps) I would often paint nude models. One of the models asked if I ever got turned on while painting and I said 'no, you're just triangles and squares to me.' and then he asked my other classmates in the other room and I could hear all of them agree: totally! And then they gave examples.💦

 

So everybody always asked to model for me. 😉

When I was in college we were drawing nude models, I can remember some of the students whistling and stuff like that when they came in and all I was thinking was its a naked person get over yourself. Also while I was in school there one of my classmates showed me a picture of a really nice car with a girl in a bikini sitting on the hood and the first words out of my mouth are wow that's a nice car, he immediately looked at me and said I  knew you were gay. but I would have done the same thing if it were a guy in the picture as well. 

[AstrophelDragon]

5 hours ago, nickolekuebler said:

I was at work one day and talking to my boss in his office, when I came out one of my male coworkers said he was surprised I wasn't wearing knee pads. I came back with why would I need knee pads to talk to the boss. It was later that day when it finally dawned on me what he meant. 

I am incredibly confused...but I don't think I want to be enlightened so nvm

[nickolekuebler]

12 hours ago, AstrophelDragon said:

I am incredibly confused...but I don't think I want to be enlightened so nvm

He was making an inference to me giving the boss a blow job while in his office. which fyi I will not do, oral is entirely disgusting. 

[ElevenElysion]

On 1/18/2023 at 9:15 PM, Janus the Fox said:

Sex smells sells I guess, I think that's what most aftershaves and perfumes are for potentially.  A shame both of those trigger migraines in me.  Sex itself smells... well that's the various smells from the body, including body washes, also so called pheromones if one believes that.

My coworker used some cologne that enhances his pheromones and I had migraines and a stinging pain in my nose every time he was around so I begged him not to wear it anymore. Nobody else even noticed the smell. 

[Thujaplicata]

On 1/26/2023 at 12:59 AM, nickolekuebler said:

I was at work one day and talking to my boss in his office, when I came out one of my male coworkers said he was surprised I wasn't wearing knee pads. I came back with why would I need knee pads to talk to the boss. It was later that day when it finally dawned on me what he meant. 

That is incredibly offensive in my opinion. Ew. 

[JustAnotherNerd]

On 1/17/2023 at 9:25 AM, Brøøklyn said:

Smells can be sexually appealing?! What did I miss?

 

On 1/18/2023 at 4:15 AM, Janus the Fox said:

Sex smells sells I guess, I think that's what most aftershaves and perfumes are for potentially.  A shame both of those trigger migraines in me.  Sex itself smells... well that's the various smells from the body, including body washes, also so called pheromones if one believes that.

what, why are smells... just... ugh

On 1/25/2023 at 5:49 PM, Barbio said:

While watching a TV show with my housemates, in which there's a scene with a shirtless guy:

 

All three of us at the shirtless guy: "Dude, put a shirt on!!!"

One of my housemates: "I mean, sure, it must be hot where they are in the desert, but at least a shirt would protect him from the sun's rays."

Me: "He could always put on a wet shirt."

*Awkward silence as my housemates stare at me uncomfortably*

Me: "That way the evaporation from the sun would cool him off!"

Me, in my head: Oh, God, I can tell by their glares that what I just said must have some kind of sexual connotation that I was unaware of...

I would totally do the same thing, I'm just wondering how a wet shirt can be sexual... (If anyone's seen the Good Place, I'm thinking of the guy at the desk who's in charge of deciding if the weird sexual stuff would send you to heaven or hell)

 

Ace moment: A friend told me a sex joke.

Context before I get into this: one of my other friends for some reason was chewing on a paperclip. I told him not to do that, buddy, you're gonna choke on that and he put the whole thing in his mouth out of spite.

Anyways, the friend who said the joke (he has a mohawk, so we'll call him Mohawk) asked me if I had a gag reflex. Now, I'm thinking about the paperclip and I thought, "Well if I put that in my mouth and it hit the back of my throat, yes I would gag, why wouldn't I?" I said yes,  and Mohawk smirked, "oh really?" Mohawk tells a lot of sex jokes so at this moment I knew I fell into something I wouldn't like so I stopped and stared at him suspiciously. He then told me, "why don't we find out?" I had a mask on and was staring at him trying to come up with a good comeback (not my forte), but I guess I ended up staring at him like I was gonna kill him, so that works for me

[AstrophelDragon]

One of my teachers today apparently made a sex joke by accident (while trying to make a joke about something else) and most people started giggling and he called them out for being immature and the whole time I was just confused bc I could not figure out how what he said related to sex

[Thujaplicata]

As for the wet shirt, I imagine that the purpose to non ace people is that it clings and shows off musculature or whatever. 

I know this because my girlfriend had to explain why they had captain America in too tight white shirts and just...lingered on shots of him doing muscly things? She was specifically referencing a scene where he apparently holds back a helicopter or something like that. She was trying to explain something about how she felt it was overly contrived and that if they wanted a thirst trap they could just put it in there without unnecessary something or other. I obviously forget. 

 

Also. Thirst traps. My little sister had to explain them to me, but at least it was in the context of people making tiktoks of them just being weirded out by other people's thirst trap tiktoks.

[nickolekuebler]

23 hours ago, Thujaplicata said:

As for the wet shirt, I imagine that the purpose to non ace people is that it clings and shows off musculature or whatever. 

I know this because my girlfriend had to explain why they had captain America in too tight white shirts and just...lingered on shots of him doing muscly things? She was specifically referencing a scene where he apparently holds back a helicopter or something like that. She was trying to explain something about how she felt it was overly contrived and that if they wanted a thirst trap they could just put it in there without unnecessary something or other. I obviously forget. 

 

Also. Thirst traps. My little sister had to explain them to me, but at least it was in the context of people making tiktoks of them just being weirded out by other people's thirst trap tiktoks.

I just had to look this up to see what it means. I am now thinking to myself why would someone want to to this, I don't want that type of attention. but then again I guess this would be another one of those incredibly ace moments lol. 

[Aye]

On 2/1/2023 at 11:46 PM, Thujaplicata said:

As for the wet shirt, I imagine that the purpose to non ace people is that it clings and shows off musculature or whatever. 

I know this because my girlfriend had to explain why they had captain America in too tight white shirts and just...lingered on shots of him doing muscly things? She was specifically referencing a scene where he apparently holds back a helicopter or something like that. She was trying to explain something about how she felt it was overly contrived and that if they wanted a thirst trap they could just put it in there without unnecessary something or other. I obviously forget. 

 

Also. Thirst traps. My little sister had to explain them to me, but at least it was in the context of people making tiktoks of them just being weirded out by other people's thirst trap tiktoks.

that captain america scene was bull because like he's meant to be super duper strong and he can barely hold a helicopter onto a pad but fucking spiderman right? he held two halves of a boat together, which is much more impressive. i just thought like captain america had to borrow other people's shirts and he was too large but the thirst trap makes sense.  

Thirst traps are really really weird i have to say, like i've seen people gushing over them and it just makes me uncomfortable

[AstrophelDragon]

1 hour ago, Aye said:

that captain america scene was bull because like he's meant to be super duper strong and he can barely hold a helicopter onto a pad but fucking spiderman right? he held two halves of a boat together, which is much more impressive.

Spiderman is just better obviously

[AstrophelDragon]

Also spider silk is like the strongest material

[Aye]

14 hours ago, AstrophelDragon said:

Spiderman is just better obviously

he's just amazing 

 

 

 

[Passer]

Ah, yes... the whole thirst traps thing. Sometimes I like the aesthetic, but I can't imagine making them without having to laugh or feeling really uncomfortable. I kinda have the same thing with what is considered 'sexy' lingerie. All those straps and lace don't feel comfortable. So seeing Valentine's lingerie in the store window certainly does not have the intended effect on me.

[nickolekuebler]

11 hours ago, Passer said:

Ah, yes... the whole thirst traps thing. Sometimes I like the aesthetic, but I can't imagine making them without having to laugh or feeling really uncomfortable. I kinda have the same thing with what is considered 'sexy' lingerie. All those straps and lace don't feel comfortable. So seeing Valentine's lingerie in the store window certainly does not have the intended effect on me.

I am right there with you, I just don't really see why I should try so hard to be "sexy" when I don't want it to begin with. and besides that, like you said it's not comfortable. 

[Alakazahm]

I remember this one time while me and a couple (at the time) friends of mine were driving home from a church work retreat called Salkehatchie, we were all around 12 to 15-16 at the time. It was just me and two other guys in the car (I think) and one of them asked me if I thought any of the girls at the camp were attractive (I think he asked if they were 'cute' or if I 'liked' any of them, but not sure). At first in hearing this my mind went blank, like I wasn't sure how to answer that honestly. Its not as though the girls were all ugly or uninteresting to me, but I really had no opinions on the matter.

 

I simply didn't think or feel for any of them like that. But I ended up telling him 'Not really, but I will say there were some who were quite attractive'. Obviously I tried playing it cool but came off as awkward. When asked who in particular I was also vague. Hell, even during the program when one of the other boys made a comment about a passing woman's butt I thought, "Really?". At the time I'm not sure if I was more confused or incredulous about the matter. 

 

I say this as someone who's gone through puberty, felt arousal with and without the presence of other women around me, and for most of my life have never really felt close to a person on the basis of sexuality. And yet I worry that telling others this will make them automatically disbelieve me, I can't be honest about myself with others because I feel they won't trust or take me serious about the matter.

[nickolekuebler]

3 minutes ago, Alakazahm said:

I remember this one time while me and a couple (at the time) friends of mine were driving home from a church work retreat called Salkehatchie, we were all around 12 to 15-16 at the time. It was just me and two other guys in the car (I think) and one of them asked me if I thought any of the girls at the camp were attractive (I think he asked if they were 'cute' or if I 'liked' any of them, but not sure). At first in hearing this my mind went blank, like I wasn't sure how to answer that honestly. Its not as though the girls were all ugly or uninteresting to me, but I really had no opinions on the matter.

 

I simply didn't think or feel for any of them like that. But I ended up telling him 'Not really, but I will say they're were some who were quite attractive'. Obviously I tried playing it cool but came off as awkward. When asked who in particular I was also vague. Hell, even during the program when one of the other boys made a comment about a passing woman's butt I thought, "Really?". At the time I'm not sure if I was more confused or incredulous about the matter. 

 

I say this as someone who's gone through puberty, felt arousal with and without the presence of other women around me, and for most of my life have never really felt close to a person on the basis of sexuality. And yet I worry that telling others this will make them automatically disbelieve me, I can't be honest about myself with others because I feel they won't trust or take me serious about the matter.

I think that the first thing is for you to become more comfortable with it yourself and then I think it will be easier to let others in and show them this part of you. I felt the same way when I was younger before I finally accepted myself on these terms, I used to lie to the people around me about having sex just so they wouldn't think I was weird. Now with some of the same people I have come to terms with who I am and what I want from my life and I don't care what they say. I have heard all of the tropes about you just haven't found the right person yet or you will some day and all the other crap but I just stick to my guns and tell them that this is who I am and that is ok. I think that the people who have trouble accepting this are just ignorant and do not want to be educated. 

[everywhere and nowhere]

I just felt annoyed and needed to vent.

 

Background: I have a very different approach to physical carriers when it comes to two different kinds of media. For music - without the cover, booklet etc., it's just lacking for me. (I sometimes even keep stickers from reissues. In case of a few Grateful Dead albums, I found blank spots in the booklets and moved the stickers - stuff like "The Remarkable 1968 Live/Studio Hybrid Now in Remastered HDCD!" etc. - from the wrapping covering the digipack to the booklet.) With the reservation that I'm currently simply a poor person (although it seems to be getting better), I am often even willing to spend more money on a more fancy edition. (For example, the German psychedelic folk duo Fit & Limo and their album "Ginnistan" - just take a look to compare the CD edition and vinyl edition (5th album from the top). I have the vinyl; when I saw the difference, I knew that I need to have this edition. Too bad my phonograph is broken* again... ) However, in case of video games, it's the opposite: I prefer just the files, with no boxes to take up space. I anyway keep game extras - that is, screenshots - in digital form.

And so a retro game dev posted a link to a podcast by two folks talking about game "big boxes" - special editions, I think. And what word did they use to make big boxes seem yet more cool?... 🤦‍♀️

I Just Don't Get It...

*P.S. See? That's the correct usage of this word. Phonographs can be broken, people can't.

[lunarnaut]

Several times I've asked my friends to explain to me whether they were actually attracted to celebrities they think are hot because it's just something I cannot understand. Like, sure, they're nice to look at aesthetically, but actual, physical attraction towards someone you've only seen on TV? Sounds fake to me!

 

Anyway I still don't get it but my questions tend to confuse all the allosexuals (every ace I know gets what I mean)