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queerditch

Lingerie...What's the point?

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queerditch

I'm not sure if this is where it goes, but move it if it needs to go somewhere else.

 

What is the point in lingerie? To me, it just seems like a waste of money. I'm looking for views from both sexuals and asexuals.

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Celyn

Do you mean lingerie as in stupid lacy impractical stuff that people think is "sexy"? Yeah, I don't get it either.

What I don't understand is why the female underwear section is labelled lingerie in most department stores. It's just pants and bras.

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Serran

Lingerie as in sexy stuff ? Cause it is sexy and playful and seeing your partner in something that accentuates their attractive features can be better than seeing them naked. 

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RoseGoesToYale

My only gripe with lingerie is that 99% of it today is made of plastic and polyester, which makes it cheap and highly disposable. I don't think it bodes well for the environment and human health, or for sex. As something meant to be fun and increase intimacy for those who enjoy sex, fast-fashion lingerie seems like it would defeat the purpose, like a one-night stand via clothing.

 

Polyester rant over, it seems like wearing "sexy" underwear in non-sexy situations would be rather inconvenient, not to mention uncomfortable.

TMI:

Spoiler

My friend told me a story of how someone they knew decided to wear a thong with jeans. The jeans had those metal buttons, and one of the studs got caught on it and gave her an awful wedgie, not to mention it took her forever to get the jeans untangled. She spent the next week treating diaper rash. Can't confirm how true this is, but it doesn't sound like a pleasant experience.

 

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gner0
13 minutes ago, Serran said:

something that accentuates their attractive features

I am big on fashion ans asthetics as a female and loooove lingerie. I think it's no different than dressing up but just in less clothing with lace and straps (haha). The problem is I would never wear it ouside of my house so I just like to put it on, look at myself and then keep it in my closet forever. But I can't resist cute underwear either. I did work for a fancy lingerie department so maybe that influenced me 😅😅

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gner0

I'd also like to point out that the stuff I have is like high quality aka I paid way too much for it. The stuff that is so stretchy it can't hold its shape after you put it on or is so skimpy you might as well rip it off during "sexy time" doesn't appeal to me at all. I like my corsets and satin tyvm

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queerditch
46 minutes ago, Celyn said:

Do you mean lingerie as in stupid lacy impractical stuff that people think is "sexy"? Yeah, I don't get it either.

 

30 minutes ago, Serran said:

Lingerie as in sexy stuff ? Cause it is sexy and playful and seeing your partner in something that accentuates their attractive features can be better than seeing them naked. 

Yes, like sexy, shows-almost-everything stuff.

 

I'm a beteromantic female, so I don't have the male's viewpoint. But for me, it's like a field. I love looking at a nice wide-open, green field (person). I love it even more when gray storm clouds (lingerie) move in. It adds to the beauty.

 

My view of men is I love seeing a muscular man with or without a shirt on, but I'd prefer him wearing at least underwear.

 

So does the lingerie add something? Is itlike teasing the partner to make them more intrigued? My parents, brother, and sister-in-law were talking tonight (they don't know I'm ace) and they said it "spices things up."

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CBC

I assume some sexual people find it a turn-on to see their partner clad in such items. That's basically it. I can't really explain further because I'm a gay chick who isn't very visually-driven other than the simple fact that I specifically find my partner attractive because of my emotional connection. To me, lingerie seems like a heterosexual thing driven by very stereotypical ideas of male sexuality.

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Ytterbium

I don't get it either. It just looks so absurd. How can anyone find that attractive?

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Telecaster68

It's also like the wrapping on a present, and unwrapping the present is delicious anticipation. 

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Galactic Turtle

Pretty much my automatic thought has always been "what's the point of buying expensive/decorated underwear if no one is ever going to see it?"

 

And then I realized people get each other naked at least somewhat frequently in the world. 

 

 

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CBC
18 minutes ago, Galactic Turtle said:

Pretty much my automatic thought has always been "what's the point of buying expensive/decorated underwear if no one is ever going to see it?"

 

And then I realized people get each other naked at least somewhat frequently in the world. 

Along similar lines, my thoughts are generally "Since it's coming off, why do I care if it's fancy and/or expensive?" As long as someone has decent hygiene, which to me is inclusive of dressing in clean clothing, I couldn't give less of a crap if they're wearing granny panties under their clothes. If I want to fuck someone, their undergarments are relevant to the scenario only in the sense that hopefully they'll get removed at some point.

 

But like I say, I imagine some people are more visually inclined and maybe it's an enjoyable part of the sexual experience for them. I tend not to be too fussed about clothing in general... I live in hoodies, t-shirts (mostly unisex ones), track pants, and jeans. I dress for functionality and comfort and pay little to no attention to the aspect of clothing that's concerned with being fashionable or appearing attractive by way of showing off your body.

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Telecaster68
1 hour ago, queerditch said:

o does the lingerie add something? Is itlike teasing the partner to make them more intrigued? My parents, brother, and sister-in-law were talking tonight (they don't know I'm ace) and they said it "spices things up."

It adds to a sense of occasion, and a complicity: the woman in a straight relationship enjoys it because she knows it will give her partner pleasure, which makes her feel more desired, which is a thrill for sexuals. If sex has got a bit routine in a long term relationship, it's a way of saying 'sex is still special, I still fancy you, I still want you' and taking it out of the usual shag-at-bedtime procedure. 

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Masterman
2 hours ago, Serran said:

seeing your partner in something that accentuates their attractive features can be better than seeing them naked. 

As an asexual with a high aesthetic attraction, that's true for me (seeing them naked doesn't appeal to me at all). Is is also true for allosexuals?

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Telecaster68

Can be. For me, lingerie is 'presenting the goods', whereas naked is more intimate and exposed, emotionally as well as physically. 

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CBC

Not gonna lie, I would have a hard time not laughing if someone presented themselves to me in lingerie. Which would probably be not the greatest response... it might be taken as laughing at their body, which would obviously be incredibly rude and unkind if that were actually the case. It's just lingerie itself makes me laugh because I find it silly. I would rather see someone clad in full clothing, normal undies, or naked rather than in supposedly sexy lingerie. Luckily, I feel like that's not a scenario I will be likely to have to navigate.

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InariYana

Also, I guess some people enjoy the feel of those laces and ribbons and silky smooth fabric on their bodies and like how they look while wearing them. Some people love the feeling of wearing a tightly laced corset...  It may be a sensual thing too. 

None of my partners in the past cared much about lingerie and they just wanted it all off fast (whether it was well worn Star Wars shorts or a nice satin and lace set), so... it was pretty pointless. 

 

There should be more of a choice of lingerie for men too. It's all plain cotton or polyester, boring stuff, unless we're talking about more kinky vinyl-wear that often looks just... a bit silly :D I've only known two guys in all my life who liked to buy a piece or two from women's section because the satin felt so good on their body... I guess this kind of lingerie-for-men wouldn't sell much.    

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Pan Ficto. (on hiatus?)

Hmmm.. none of these answers  (except for the one above mine) really 'hit home' - and this is from a female bodied person who likes to wear lingerie.

 

For many women who wear it, it's about making us feel more confident and sensual for ourselves. We feel like we have a delicious secret under our clothes... it's a real turn on (for the girl wearing it I mean). This feeling can give a girl more confidence in the bedroom too if she's someone who is naturally self conscious. Sure some women wear it solely in the hopes of pleasing their partner, but for the most part it's about making us feel sexier/sensual and more confident. And obviously when a guy's lady feels sexy and confident, that's an automatic turn-on for him too. Though I've met a lot of girls who wear it regardless of whether or not they're in a sexual relationship, just because of the confidence boost it gives them. Seeing yourself looking gorgeous in a corset and lace can be very empowering :3 (and please note my comments don't apply to all women, only to many of those who enjoy wearing lingerie!)

 

Image result for beautiful curvy woman in a corset

 

Yes please ^_^

(and no, I'm not going to spoiler that because she's wearing a lot more than most people - male and female- would wear at the beach!)

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Serran

I am female and my partner wears female lingerie. I just enjoy the way the fabric hugs and teases her body, not showing anything but I remember her body so the hint is enough to make me take notice. I dont think its really a hetero or not thing, just a some people are into it and some arent thing. 

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daveb
4 hours ago, FictoVore. said:

For many women who wear it

I agree with your comments, and they apply to some men, too. :)

Also, it can be sensual with or without being sexual.

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Nowhere Girl
10 hours ago, RoseGoesToYale said:

My only gripe with lingerie is that 99% of it today is made of plastic and polyester, which makes it cheap and highly disposable. I don't think it bodes well for the environment and human health, or for sex.

I hate polyester. One of the most most harmful fabrics, according to my skin's opinion, an for my skin all synthetic and animal-based fabrics are allergenic.

I only wear cotton underwear and I also prefer as asexy (in the meaning of non+"sexy", not just non+sexual) cuts as possible - sport bras, grandma-style pants covering the whole butt (and mine is large...) and reaching all the way to the waist, men's vests with the highest neckline available in cotton sleveless undershirts... Even my socks cover more than for most women because I hate those "sport" socks which end very low and don't protect ankles from direct contact with the shoe...

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Pan Ficto. (on hiatus?)
5 hours ago, daveb said:

I agree with your comments, and they apply to some men, too. :)

Also, it can be sensual with or without being sexual.

Yes I definitely should have clarified that it can apply to men too! and also that it's not just a hetero thing either! and it can also definitely be sensual without being sexual I agree with that, I should have clarified that as well. It's definitely more sensual for me because I'm celibate (physically, not mentally - but I don't know if mentally counts at all.) so not actually having sex with my physical body, haha.. I still feel very sensual wearing some nice lingerie under my clothes :)

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queerditch

Wow. Thanks, everyon, for your replies. That cleared it up quite a bit!

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uhtred

I think lingerie is (almost by definition) clothing designed to enhance someone's sexual appeal.  This of course makes it somewhat pointless for people who either don't want to be sexually desired or for people who's partners don't experience sexual desire. 

 

For those who do, it can do just what it is intended to do - increase sexual appeal, and it can also add variety. Lingerie can help set varies moods that add to the variety and fun of sex. 

 

Since many people enjoy being desired, and many people enjoy seeing their partners in a sexual way, it can be a win / win. 

 

I agree with a previous poster that a lot of lingerie is pretty cheezy / fake looking. There is some very nice stuff, but it tends to be expensive.  OTOH, a bit of creativity can give normal clothes the effect -  a t-shirt of the right length, with nothing else can be just as appealing as expensive silk stuff. 

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MrDane

I think the majority of lingerie are worn by women, who does not think about wearing it to a sexual session, but more in order to feel luxerious, confident and spotless well-dressed on a daily basis. It is a boost and since it is not one-size-fits-all, (like sloggies, I guess?) it probably also diminishes features the woman dislikes, like lifting ‘things’ the rigth way.

 

 

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Kayze

Being many people experience sexual attraction from physical attraction, lingerie can help highlight certain features and even give a fresh take on their physique. It also plays into a similar vibe as stripe teasing.

 

The above can be applied to many situations; From a women that wants it for confidence or personal appeal to spicing it up for their partner.

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Skywise

I agree with much of what has been said so far.  What I would add is that it can change over time.  What did not ever change is my absolute love of lingerie.

 

When I was young and our relationship was new, I knew very little and just bought what I thought was "hot" to my twenty-something lizard brain.  Usually the more skin shown, the better.

 

As we grew into more grown up type people (and I had more disposable income) I shopped exclusively at small boutiques.  I would be regularly invited to special "parties for partners" where they served cocktails and had models to show off the lingerie.  It was all silk and satin.  A holiday did not go by without some new frilly something in a scented box being given to my spouse.  When she was pregnant I bought fancy cotton nightgowns and pajamas.  Then she got breast augmentation surgery and I went gangbusters.

 

About 4 years ago, during one of our many arguments about sex, my wife told me how ugly the lingerie made her feel and how much anxiety she felt every time I gave her something new.  At the time I was so hurt and confused and felt awful for having caused so much pain.  I stopped buying anything after that.

 

I understand much more now why she felt how she did.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Guest Deus Ex Infinity

I honestly don't know. I guess it's meant to be sexy and stimulating for most alosexuals but I never got it. Like a mystery. It does absolutedly nothing for me. I'm totally fine with my plain casual cotton boxers or tanks.

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iff

I think ficto makes some really good points in her post about confidence. if we feel good in what we are wearing, we are going to be more confident so it is more for the wearer than the other person in it.

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RK800

I like lingerie. It's cute on all genders imo, though not really sexy? I don't have a firm grasp on that concept.

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