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Lingerie...What's the point?

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ryn2
18 hours ago, iff said:

I think ficto makes some really good points in her post about confidence. if we feel good in what we are wearing, we are going to be more confident so it is more for the wearer than the other person in it.

This is probably why I don’t like lingerie.  I feel ridiculous and gross in it, and that’s the (an) opposite of confident.

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chandrakirti

....a good set of thermals for the winter, keep the cold out. Purely functional - what else does one need?😄

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Albine
On 6/16/2018 at 2:17 AM, gner0 said:

I am big on fashion ans asthetics as a female and loooove lingerie. I think it's no different than dressing up but just in less clothing with lace and straps (haha). The problem is I would never wear it ouside of my house so I just like to put it on, look at myself and then keep it in my closet forever. But I can't resist cute underwear either. I did work for a fancy lingerie department so maybe that influenced me 😅😅

i there, sound like you do it to make yourself feel good and positive, which there certainly nothing wrong with that! 

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Fluffy Femme Guy

I can't say I'm really a fan of it overall, but I can appreciate the aesthetic/arty aspect sometimes, but mostly in that "It-looks-neat-but-I-know-it's-super-impractical" way.

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anisotrophic

I don't like being female & lingerie (unsurprisingly) never seemed to appeal to my spouse, so... ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

 

Does a binder count for underclothing for confidence & feeling good? 😂✌️

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ryn2
34 minutes ago, anisotropic said:

Does a binder count for underclothing for confidence & feeling good? 😂✌️

Of course!!  :)

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Ardoise

What gives me the most confidence is just things that feel comfortable.

Nothing undermines "feeling good" like realizing that your shorts chafe. 

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Lara Black

I think it’s something in the same area as make-up and jewelry – the goal is to make a woman look more sensual, sexy etc. It’s not only for men (or other potential partners) to see them – it’s also for the woman to feel more confident. I don’t use any of that, but I have my ways to make me feel more attractive, and I know how important it is: I keep my head higher, my back straighter and become charming. I dare say, lingerie is more for the wearer’s self-esteem than for the partner’s joy.

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ryn2
31 minutes ago, Lara Black said:

I dare say, lingerie is more for the wearer’s self-esteem than for the partner’s joy.

I wish my partner shared your viewpoint!

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uhtred
3 hours ago, Lara Black said:

I think it’s something in the same area as make-up and jewelry – the goal is to make a woman look more sensual, sexy etc. It’s not only for men (or other potential partners) to see them – it’s also for the woman to feel more confident. I don’t use any of that, but I have my ways to make me feel more attractive, and I know how important it is: I keep my head higher, my back straighter and become charming. I dare say, lingerie is more for the wearer’s self-esteem than for the partner’s joy.

I think it can happily serve both purposes.  Many people enjoy looking nice, and enjoy having their looks appreciated by others.  Lingerie is this but in sexual situations, but I guess is no different from any other clothing worn to improve one's attractiveness. 

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anamikanon

For me, lingerie is a sex toy - I'm talking of the pretty stuff. If my partner is someone who appreciates the visual imagery of sex and finds lingerie aesthetically pleasing/erotic, it is a good ace up the sleeve for an occasional jolt. Note, I don't find most of the stuff comfortable, so I'm counting on him getting it off me fast 😛

 

My ace, who is my sole current partner doesn't care one way or the other, so thankfully, I don't bother with the nylon. Though a friend who is into fancy lingerie assures me that there is comfortable lingerie in good fabrics that is functional and healthy - for a price. She pays that price, I think, even though she's currently single, but then her job needs her to dress like a professional robot. I suppose she needs something to remind her she is really pretty where the job doesn't see it ;) 

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uhtred
6 hours ago, anamikanon said:

For me, lingerie is a sex toy - I'm talking of the pretty stuff. If my partner is someone who appreciates the visual imagery of sex and finds lingerie aesthetically pleasing/erotic, it is a good ace up the sleeve for an occasional jolt. Note, I don't find most of the stuff comfortable, so I'm counting on him getting it off me fast 😛

 

My ace, who is my sole current partner doesn't care one way or the other, so thankfully, I don't bother with the nylon. Though a friend who is into fancy lingerie assures me that there is comfortable lingerie in good fabrics that is functional and healthy - for a price. She pays that price, I think, even though she's currently single, but then her job needs her to dress like a professional robot. I suppose she needs something to remind her she is really pretty where the job doesn't see it ;) 

I think that there is some comfortable lingerie - assuming its warm in the house 😉    BTW - there are lots of forms of lingerie - wearing nothing but a t-shirt of a carefully selected length can work really well.

 

 

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ryn2

There’s comfortable as in “this doesn’t scratch, pinch, or jab anywhere, isn’t itchy, doesn’t make me sweat, and isn’t riding up in an unpleasant way” and then there’s comfortable as in “this doesn’t make me feel awkward, self-conscious, or ridiculous.”

 

The former alone is adequate for day-to-day, routine use... but something that meets the former and not the latter is still going to be a problem in a sexual setting.

 

My partner has very specific ideas of what constitutes (and what doesn’t measure up to) fantasy-appropriate lingerie, too.

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anamikanon
13 minutes ago, uhtred said:

I think that there is some comfortable lingerie - assuming its warm in the house 😉    BTW - there are lots of forms of lingerie - wearing nothing but a t-shirt of a carefully selected length can work really well.

If T-shirts qualify, I can do those 😛 I do his T-shirts really well too. :D

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FIick

I think for me at least, it helps to make me feel pretty and more confident in my body. My main options at shops with my size are a nude sack or lacy lingerie. So when I wear the lingerie it makes me feel special, even if I don't do anything in it like allo people do. Seeing my own body accentuated well by this type of clothing helps me to like how I look more, which is rare for me and something I treasure. 

 

Also let's be real I will always choose black lace over the horrifically dull options at my local shop. I just want to have nice clothing, even if it is for a traditionally 'sexual' purpose.

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Ameline257

No idea, It doesn't seem like something that would be comfortable to wear at all. I suppose what others say about it making people feel 'sexy and confident' makes sense though.

 

 I personally would not wear it because I prefer to be comfortable, and a piece of cloth barely bigger then string on my bottom doesn't seem enjoyable.

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White Raven

Lingerie to me personally is just something for me to feel pretty in. Which I can do with regular clothes so I don't bother with lingerie.😋 Now if your talking simply about bras and undies.. Well I require those because no. 1 holds me up and no. 2 makes me comfortable cause I am not a commando person.

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James121
On 6/16/2018 at 6:42 AM, Celyn said:

as in stupid lacy impractical stuff that people think is "sexy"?

Not stupid, not impractical and people don’t think it’s sexy, it is sexy.

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James121
On 6/16/2018 at 7:16 AM, RoseGoesToYale said:

99% of it today is made of plastic and polyester,

You are shopping on the wrong sites

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James121
On 6/23/2018 at 8:22 PM, chandrakirti said:

what else does one need?😄

Some sexy lingerie 😂

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uhtred
On 7/11/2018 at 9:01 AM, Ameline257 said:

No idea, It doesn't seem like something that would be comfortable to wear at all. I suppose what others say about it making people feel 'sexy and confident' makes sense though.

 

 I personally would not wear it because I prefer to be comfortable, and a piece of cloth barely bigger then string on my bottom doesn't seem enjoyable.

Lots of different types of lingerie. Some are comfortable - as long as it isn't too cold.  

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ryn2
16 hours ago, James121 said:

Not stupid, not impractical and people don’t think it’s sexy, it is sexy.

It can be impractical for life outside a sexual encounter (like wearing to work in lieu of other undergarments, etc.)... so like anything else it’s a case of “is the cost of this worth what I will get out of it?”

 

That answer is going to differ from person to person.

 

If your partner wanted you to dress in women’s lingerie and that wasn’t one of your kinks, it might not feel all that sexy to you.

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banana monkey
On 7/11/2018 at 4:13 PM, ryn2 said:

There’s comfortable as in “this doesn’t scratch, pinch, or jab anywhere, isn’t itchy, doesn’t make me sweat, and isn’t riding up in an unpleasant way” and then there’s comfortable as in “this doesn’t make me feel awkward, self-conscious, or ridiculous.”

 

 

This is exactly why I dont wear lingerie. It makes me feel "awkward, self concious and ridiculous". I understand that for some it increases confidence and really understand the explanation that it is for the wearer not the partner but thats not the case with me due to the above. I really dont need to wear something that makes me feel self concious. I am much less self concious in boring underwear that is comfortable to wear. I dont even like wearing a bra and tend to go for the simple ones or now crop top type ones when I have to. 

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banana monkey
On 7/23/2018 at 1:21 AM, James121 said:

Not stupid, not impractical and people don’t think it’s sexy, it is sexy.

That's still a matter of opinion. not fact. to you it is sexy. I reply to your quote - Its not sexy. (to me its not, thats my opinion not a fact.)  

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ryn2
4 minutes ago, banana monkey said:

That's still a matter of opinion. not fact. to you it is sexy. I reply to your quote - Its not sexy. (to me its not, thats my opinion not a fact.)  

Yep!  It’s undoubtedlty sexy to... people who find lingerie sexy.

 

That group is a subset of all people.

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uhtred

Some of the less extreme forms of lingerie can act as a sort of "signaling".  They can indicate that someone would be happy with sex without being too blatant about it.  

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ryn2
49 minutes ago, uhtred said:

Some of the less extreme forms of lingerie can act as a sort of "signaling".  They can indicate that someone would be happy with sex without being too blatant about it.  

That seems like it could be a risky assumption if it’s not between known-to-be-consenting partners/FWBs.

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uhtred
17 hours ago, ryn2 said:

That seems like it could be a risky assumption if it’s not between known-to-be-consenting partners/FWBs.

We were talking about lingerie so I was assuming this was in an intimate relationship.  It hadn't occurred to me that someone would wear lingerie around a non-intimate partner.   (but if they do, then that is a different situation).

 

I'm also talking about lingerie being an indication that its ok to *initiate* sex, not to have sex over objections. 

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ryn2
7 minutes ago, uhtred said:

We were talking about lingerie so I was assuming this was in an intimate relationship.  It hadn't occurred to me that someone would wear lingerie around a non-intimate partner.   (but if they do, then that is a different situation).

 

I'm also talking about lingerie being an indication that its ok to *initiate* sex, not to have sex over objections. 

Ahhh, okay.  I was picturing applying that logic in a club, say, or even when first getting to know someone.  In an established relationship where it’s been discussed at some point that would be a completely different matter.

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uhtred
5 hours ago, ryn2 said:

Ahhh, okay.  I was picturing applying that logic in a club, say, or even when first getting to know someone.  In an established relationship where it’s been discussed at some point that would be a completely different matter.

Probably comes down to what is meant by "lingerie".  I don't really know the definition, I've always thought the word applied to the sort of things that would never be worn in public, but I may be mistaken.  

 

That still leaves a lot of room between short silk bathrobes an things consisting of a small number of leather straps in not very strategic locations.....

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