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butterflydreams

a gender positive thread

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butterflydreams
1 hour ago, Ix Phoen said:

Oops. I almost forgot the point of this thread. I absolutely love having short hair, though. It makes me happy every day. 

I will say a weird sensation is having the back of your head buzz cut, like a half inch, and then taking a shower. It feels weird!

 

I enjoy the irony of my mom saying for years how I should grow my hair out. And now that I have it's like the worst thing ever to her. 

 

I'm going to go out on a limb here and suggest that I actually like my voice. Yes the same voice I'm incredibly self conscious about and the source of so much dysphoria. For a few reasons. First, it could be a lot worse. I've never had a very deep voice and I've always tended to push it up. Second, when it's right, it's right. On some rare occasions I'll hear it played back and think, "hey, that's a woman's voice". So I know she's in there, and that's comforting.

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ChillaKilla
10 hours ago, Hadley167 said:

I'm going to go out on a limb here and suggest that I actually like my voice. Yes the same voice I'm incredibly self conscious about and the source of so much dysphoria. For a few reasons. First, it could be a lot worse. I've never had a very deep voice and I've always tended to push it up. Second, when it's right, it's right. On some rare occasions I'll hear it played back and think, "hey, that's a woman's voice". So I know she's in there, and that's comforting.

I'm gonna second this. I love your voice, Hads. It fits you so well and it really is a nice voice.

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Santa's Little Elf

I third what Chilla said!

 

12 hours ago, Ix Phoen said:

I seriously always got tangled in my hair in the shower, like moments of panic because I couldn't pull my wrist away from my head until I got the sticky strands unwrapped! I do not have the coordination to live with the stuff!

So I enjoy super long hair vicariously on other people ... *drools* 

Oops. I almost forgot the point of this thread. I absolutely love having short hair, though. It makes me happy every day. 

I had long hair but it's also thick and not easy to keep up so i had to cut it after having it for 10 years. I love my short hair too! It's short enough for a man bun and long enough to still look like a girl :P I'll never go back to long hair again.

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Ix Phoen
On 3/16/2017 at 8:42 PM, Hadley167 said:

I will say a weird sensation is having the back of your head buzz cut, like a half inch, and then taking a shower. It feels weird!

Ah, and I love it... I'm the type of person who will chop at my hair on my own when it gets too annoying--with sometimes odd results, but so far I haven't had to run desperately to a hair stylist to salvage the situation. I actually buzzed the back of my head once (almost to skin) last year (leaving the top long enough to fall just above my ears, so a dramatic under-cut?). And while I didn't much like how it looked for the first week or so, once it grew out to a half inch I really enjoyed the feel of such short hair. *grin* 

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Finn.

oh god i love having short hair! i get mine trimmed to 10mm every couple of weeks, and it's the best feeling ever. i love running my hands through my hair now. i started with an undercut too, at 12mm:

 

Spoiler

nov_2015_4.jpg

this is the only photo i have of the back of my head, this is from november 2015

 

just yesterday i looked at old selfies (there aren't many, i only started taking selfies two years ago, for years I hated being photographed) where i had long/longer hair. it's also pretty, and sometimes i miss my waves. but i had so many issues with my hair, this is just way better. especially now that i am contemplating dyeing it because i have soo many white hairs already. and dyeing your hair is much cheaper and easier with short i hair i'd assume.

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Mezzo Forte

Short hair's fun. :) I always love how it looks right after a haircut. My family always sounds like a broken record complimenting my cuts when they visit, since almost every time, they tell me that it's my "best cut yet."

 

@Finn. My sister has long hair, but only dyes her bangs, and I couldn't imagine how tedious bleaching/dying the whole thing would be. Once I have facial hair, I'm contemplating playing with colored dye. I'm blond, and I think a streak of cobalt blue would look really nice in the head hair/facial hair. :P 

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butterflydreams
22 hours ago, Mezzo Forte said:

Once I have facial hair, I'm contemplating playing with colored dye. I'm blond, and I think a streak of cobalt blue would look really nice in the head hair/facial hair. :P 

Wait, I forgot that you're a musician/performer...you...might actually be able to pull this off. I say go for it!

 

Not to keep it on hair, but I finally got over myself today and called to make an appointment to get mine trimmed (not for being trans, I'm just have a lot of anxiety about calling places and making appointments). The ends are getting...yeah. Anyway, it occurred to me how much easier it will be this time for so many reasons. First, about a year ago I bravely (if quietly) told the stylist that I was transitioning, and that I didn't mind if my longer hair was done in a feminine way. She actually said I wasn't the first person she'd seen in there like that, and that she loved it, because she felt like she could be really creative in bringing out this new person. You know what I say? I say that's how you keep business. I hope I can keep going to her for a long time.

 

Another thing that's nice is now that my hair is much, much longer, if she has to knock off half an inch, or even an inch or two, I'd barely even notice. God I remember when I first started growing it out...it got messy and I had to get it trimmed just to even it out. At that stage, losing any length is heartbreaking. Another reason I'm so glad to be beyond that!

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Mezzo Forte

@Hadley167, I doubt I'd get away with the wild hair dye once I'm a university professor, but it'll be fun while I'm still a student and having some fun with freelancing. :P I never wanted to touch hair dye when I was younger because 1) long hair and 2) I like my natural hair color, but the idea of adding a small streak kind of like how my sis does her bangs just sounds fun. Playing with the beard sounds especially fun because I can just shave the beard off if I don't like how something looks.

 

I found my hairstylist through the nurse who used to do my T shots, so the stylist knew exactly what I was there for without me even having to explain anything. Being willing to help with something big like that tends to draw pretty loyal customers. I honestly don't know what I'm going to do trying to find a good stylist when I finally leave this place. :P 

 

Moving away from hair, I just had my recital this past weekend, and I wore this red vintage double-breasted waistcoat my sis gave me some years ago, and I got an absurd amount of compliments on it. (I even found a red bow tie that matched almost exactly too, so I was pretty color-coordinated.) Not sure if that kind of this also counts as relevant to this thread, but I do love my nice formalwear. :) 

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LoganAtTheDisco

I hate my hair, it's super poofy sometimes. I wish it was flat and straight so I can have the fringe I always wanted XD

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daveb
10 hours ago, LoganAtTheDisco said:

poofy

Hey, hey, none of that! This is a gender positivity thread! :)

 

Now you have to say something you are positive about. :D

 

(welcome and :cake: for you!)

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butterflydreams
12 hours ago, LoganAtTheDisco said:

I hate my hair, it's super poofy sometimes. I wish it was flat and straight so I can have the fringe I always wanted XD

I always thought my hair was lousy until I actually worked up the courage to have someone who knew their stuff look at it. I learned that actually, my hair is really healthy, and it can do really cool stuff I didn't know about. There's always a silver lining :)

 

I just have to report on how my trim went today. Every time I go in there, I learn something new, or a new way to do my hair. It came out...amazing. She got rid of all those damaged and broken ends and showed me how to use a curling iron to help solidify the curls I already kind of have. I felt like a million bucks walking out of there. I went grocery shopping right afterwards and I told myself I wouldn't even be surprised if someone asked me out.

Spoiler

IMG_1047-e1490139203555.jpg

 

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Toothlesss
6 minutes ago, Hadley167 said:

 

  Hide contents

IMG_1047-e1490139203555.jpg

 

You look amazing :D:D:D

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Heart
On 2017-03-20 at 7:57 PM, Mezzo Forte said:

@Hadley167, I doubt I'd get away with the wild hair dye once I'm a university professor, but it'll be fun while I'm still a student and having some fun with freelancing. :P I never wanted to touch hair dye when I was younger because 1) long hair and 2) I like my natural hair color, but the idea of adding a small streak kind of like how my sis does her bangs just sounds fun. Playing with the beard sounds especially fun because I can just shave the beard off if I don't like how something looks.

 

Some part of me actually wonders if by the time our generation becomes professors, we'll have normalized coloured hair in "weird" styles. After all, the generation that is currently professors normalized wearing jeans to work, and now none of my profs wear ties any more. So perhaps we'll normalize odd hair styles, and by the time we become tenured (some part of me laughs a little at that.... y'know, like a million years from now, right?) it'll almost be expected that we have at least one unnatural colour in our hair ;)

 

19 hours ago, Hadley167 said:

I always thought my hair was lousy until I actually worked up the courage to have someone who knew their stuff look at it. I learned that actually, my hair is really healthy, and it can do really cool stuff I didn't know about. There's always a silver lining :)

 

I just have to report on how my trim went today. Every time I go in there, I learn something new, or a new way to do my hair. It came out...amazing. She got rid of all those damaged and broken ends and showed me how to use a curling iron to help solidify the curls I already kind of have. I felt like a million bucks walking out of there. I went grocery shopping right afterwards and I told myself I wouldn't even be surprised if someone asked me out.

  Hide contents

IMG_1047-e1490139203555.jpg

 

Holy cow Hadley! Keep that hair stylist, she knows what she's doing! You look gorgeous.

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butterflydreams
22 hours ago, Toothlesss said:

You look amazing :D:D:D

3 hours ago, Heart said:

Holy cow Hadley! Keep that hair stylist, she knows what she's doing! You look gorgeous.

Hehehe, you guys flatter me way too much :wub:

 

I did go straight home and order a curling iron though. I'm going to start really experimenting with my hair. I realized I've always been afraid...to look good basically. Half the time when she does my hair, I'm embarrassed to be seen because I feel it makes me look too nice. Like I'm supposed to be plain and frumpy. It's weird. I'm working to get past it!

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Heart

Trust me, there is nothing plain nor frumpy about you! But I understand the feeling. Sometimes, when my body's not "right", I feel like I shouldn't have the right to be pretty or handsome. Like, somehow my dysphoria takes that ability away from me. I don't know why or how, but I know it happens and it's hard not to succumb to.

 

So I'm very glad you're going to kick that feeling in the butt and get that curling iron!

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Heart of Darkness
On 3/20/2017 at 7:57 PM, Mezzo Forte said:

@Hadley167, I doubt I'd get away with the wild hair dye once I'm a university professor, but it'll be fun while I'm still a student and having some fun with freelancing. :P I never wanted to touch hair dye when I was younger because 1) long hair and 2) I like my natural hair color, but the idea of adding a small streak kind of like how my sis does her bangs just sounds fun. Playing with the beard sounds especially fun because I can just shave the beard off if I don't like how something looks.

I wouldn't worry about that--There are several professors at my university with dyed hair (one professor has had hot pink for the past few years, another has purple dreadlocks).

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butterflydreams
1 hour ago, Heart said:

Sometimes, when my body's not "right", I feel like I shouldn't have the right to be pretty or handsome. Like, somehow my dysphoria takes that ability away from me. I don't know why or how, but I know it happens and it's hard not to succumb to.

I wonder why this is. I actually had a hair cut over the summer that was...dare I say...glamorous. I felt bad about that too. Maybe...because it's weird to accept yourself as handsome/beautiful when you feel anything but most of the time? I can remember instinctively freaking out any time I saw anything feminine about myself. As though it would mean the gig was up. So maybe there's a residual reflex that's still there. Maybe some disbelief too.

 

Hmmm, very interesting.

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Mezzo Forte

@Heart @Heart of Darkness I guess a lot of the faculty I work with is a bit old-fashioned with their attire. :P The main professor I work for actually wears these really nice color-coordinated shirt/tie (and occasional sweater-vest) combinations every day. Very few of my other professors wear ties though. I'll probably wait until I'm tenured to toy around with hair dye as a professor. :lol: Who knows, maybe I can coordinate my bow ties with my hair dye?

 

I love my formalwear to death, but I desperately need to transition that part of my closet. I have next to no formal shirts that fit me anymore because my feminine-cut shirts are too small in the neck and shoulders with the muscle gain from HRT, and it's tough finding formal men's shirts in my size. I honestly might just shill out the money and ask my local tailor to make custom clothes for me. If I do that, then I'm going to have a pretty rad wardrobe 8)

 

@Hadley167 Your haircut looks absolutely lovely. :) When I had long hair, the most I knew how to do was braid my hair, and, well, I basically invented the man bun as a way to get my hair to fit into a shower cap. :P (They were for practicality more than anything. Besides, there's a certain high-profile anime/manga that I used to watch/read that featured a short male protagonist with braided long blond hair, so I may have justified the braid that way in the past.)

 

I'm sure some of the fun of long hair is getting to play with it, (heck, friends used to ask to play with my hair all the time when I was younger,) so I'm glad you can enjoy yourself styling your hair :) 

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Toothlesss

So, the person in charge at the horse farm likes my hairstyle :D:D #Win 

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Julian of Norwich

I got misgendered yesterday ;)

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Mezzo Forte

I'm 11 months on T today :) 

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butterflydreams
On 3/25/2017 at 2:37 AM, Charlie Q. said:

I got misgendered yesterday ;)

I like that this is a positive moment :)

 

23 minutes ago, Mezzo Forte said:

I'm 11 months on T today :) 

Woot! Any big 1 year plans?

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Mezzo Forte
13 minutes ago, Hadley167 said:

Woot! Any big 1 year plans?

I definitely hope to do something to celebrate. :) 

 

I'm still figuring out the details since my family won't be in town until a few days afterwards for my graduation, but if some of my friends are still in town and aren't too busy with final exams, I want to have the cliche Tea/HRTea party for my one year. There's some nice boba tea places near where I live, so I'll have ways to celebrate regardless of if I have company or not. Besides, my family will probably want to celebrate after-the-fact too. :) 

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ChillaKilla

I love my haircut!!!

2rwumht.jpg

(Ignore crooked bow tie please :lol:)

 

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butterflydreams

@ChillaKilla, looking great! (I'm doing my best to ignore the crooked bow tie. It's...it's tough ;))

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Toothlesss

@ChillaKilla, that looks amazing :):)

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ChillaKilla
19 minutes ago, Hadley167 said:

@ChillaKilla, looking great! (I'm doing my best to ignore the crooked bow tie. It's...it's tough ;))

Do not fret, it was rectified shortly after :)

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Finn.

@ChillaKilla you look amazing! I love the hair and everything!

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Julian of Norwich
4 hours ago, Hadley167 said:

I like that this is a positive moment :)

It makes me happy because it means I don't look cis.

 

I also like it when kids ask me if I'm a boy or a girl. Great opportunity to tell them it's okay to wear whatever you want.

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Mezzo Forte

@ChillaKilla, while I am admittedly a self-tie bow tie snob, I love the coordinated bow tie/waistcoat combination! The haircut is on point too :) 

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