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butterflydreams

a gender positive thread

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MxSpock6

I love my body hair (and wish i had more of it, including facial hair), my legs are great, I love my short thick dark brown hair, my eyes are pretty, and I've been told I have a nice smile!

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Toothlesss
2 hours ago, Gentle Giant said:

@Toothlesss Bow ties suit you well! I see more ties in the background behind you, was this pic taken at a store? The Doctor Who one is awesome!

Yeah. It was actually in a bakery/restaurant that's supporting the local businesses. 

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Toothlesss

 I just found a free bow tie pattern and tutorial. :D    so I guess I know what I'll be sewing when the afternoons get hot.   Gonna start with the navy blue to match my outfit, and then  easily find some Doctor Who fabric at Jo-Ann's :):):) . 

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Mezzo Forte
3 hours ago, Hadley167 said:

I had a thing for bow ties a few years ago, and I'd highly recommend learning to tie your own. It's a lot harder than a neck tie, but it'll give you so much cool cred :) And you can change up how it looks. You can make the bow tighter, or looser, or whatever.

I second this, @Toothless, though just from sheer difference in practice, I know how to tie bow ties way better than regular ties. (I only know the half Windsor for neckties.)  I'm also a bit of a self-tie snob, to the point that I got several other percussionists to self-tie, and I even taught one of them how to do it. :) 

 

I also second that you look pretty damn good, Toothless, and I'm digging all the bow ties. It's weird, even though I love them to death and use them as part of my masculine presentation, I see bow ties as one of the least gendered formalwear accessories out there. I see neckties as the more gendered of the two. 

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Kimmie.

All the self esteem i have got because of that make up app feels so good. That is more how it should look like.

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butterflydreams
9 hours ago, Mezzo Forte said:

(I only know the half Windsor for neckties.)

The half Windsor should be your go-to with neckties. 9 times out of 10 if you tie a full Windsor, you're going to look like a jackass ;) It's just a really fancy looking knot and if you're just trying to look decent but casual, you don't need it at all. Oh, and @Toothlesss, if you want to be a bit more unique, maybe try a bolo tie, or a western tie (think the ribbon thing that Colonel Sanders wears). I wore a western tie to my prom in high school, complete with an authentic western bartender outfit I ordered from Arizona. It even had sleeve garters...because Hadley...that's why :P

 

I just wanted to say how much I love it when I touch my face and it's totally smooth. The laser has worked really well. There are still lots* of errant hairs, but they're mostly invisible. What a long journey to this point. I still shave every other day, but there's really not anything there to shave. Just getting those errant hairs.

 

* Lots in the sense that any hairs are going to bother me (just like any woman). But even when I've felt like there are tons there, my brother is like, "I don't see anything at all".

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Kimmie.

^*Dreams of having a smooth face*

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butterflydreams
4 minutes ago, Kimmie. said:

^*Dreams of having a smooth face*

*hugs* It was something that caused me a TON of dysphoria, and it's the first, biggest thing I remember dissociating from when puberty 1.0 happened. I can't remember what your hair or skin color is, but sadly laser doesn't work well for light hair on light skin. I'm the opposite, so it worked pretty well for me. I'm pasty as hell and my hair is pretty dark. If laser doesn't work, you can still do electrolysis. I don't know if it hurts more than laser or not. I know it hurts, but I think the issue with electrolysis is that it's slower. But they both work just fine at permanently removing hair.

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Mezzo Forte
21 minutes ago, Hadley167 said:

The half Windsor should be your go-to with neckties. 9 times out of 10 if you tie a full Windsor, you're going to look like a jackass ;) It's just a really fancy looking knot and if you're just trying to look decent but casual, you don't need it at all.

Good to know :P Still, I'm trying to land some job interviews, so I should probably start learning some fancier knots in case I need to go for a more conformist look than my typical bow tie attire. I also need to buy a real tie that fits my body, because all I have are skinny ties and one pink tie that the previous owner messed up pretty bad (left in a knot for years) that's way too wide.

 

I know that I bring it up a lot, but I really do enjoy how much shoulder bulk I've gained. I just went kayaking yesterday and while I was always good with them, I just felt like I had so much more stamina than before. I actually think I look good in just my binder, and I might actually enjoy wearing tank tops once I have top surgery :) 

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Kimmie.
3 hours ago, Hadley167 said:

*hugs* It was something that caused me a TON of dysphoria, and it's the first, biggest thing I remember dissociating from when puberty 1.0 happened. I can't remember what your hair or skin color is, but sadly laser doesn't work well for light hair on light skin. I'm the opposite, so it worked pretty well for me. I'm pasty as hell and my hair is pretty dark. If laser doesn't work, you can still do electrolysis. I don't know if it hurts more than laser or not. I know it hurts, but I think the issue with electrolysis is that it's slower. But they both work just fine at permanently removing hair.

Thanks.

I will keep research it.

What i have learned is that some not all countys(thats the closest thing to län i could find) cover the laser hair removel if you start hrt and that. But to start hrt you will need the diagnosis trans-something. And that takes around one year of meetings with doctors and so on. There is a reson why so many Swedish transpeople do self medication.It takes so long time to even get to the meetings.

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butterflydreams
25 minutes ago, Kimmie. said:

Thanks.

I will keep research it.

What i have learned is that some not all countys(thats the closest thing to län i could find) cover the laser hair removel if you start hrt and that. But to start hrt you will need the diagnosis trans-something. And that takes around one year of meetings with doctors and so on. There is a reson why so many Swedish transpeople to self medication.It takes so long time to even get to the meetings.

Laser hair removal isn't typically covered in the US at all. I had to pay for it all out of pocket. I'd prefer to never know the total amount I spent :(

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Kimmie.
7 minutes ago, Hadley167 said:

Laser hair removal isn't typically covered in the US at all. I had to pay for it all out of pocket. I'd prefer to never know the total amount I spent :(

That just sucks.

But i probably have to pay for that myself to. Because i don´t think i would get that diagnosis because i could survive as i am now i think. But my body just don´t feels right.

Anyway this is the gender positive thread so will stop posting stuff like this in this thread now. 

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Guest

I understand your fustration Kimmie, I really do and sometimes it's good to  vent about these things..I know they cover everything in my country but i'm with you when it comes to not wanting to go trough the screening mill. It sounds very scary indeed!

 

Ugh, i'm sore from my new workout shedule and i thought it was going to be easy :D  My poor butt told me otherwise!

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Mezzo Forte
7 hours ago, Hadley167 said:

Laser hair removal isn't typically covered in the US at all. I had to pay for it all out of pocket. I'd prefer to never know the total amount I spent :(

Every time I look at the list of procedures not covered by US insurance, I get so mad seeing just how many of them are MtF procedures that frankly are just as important to relieving dysphoria as the handful of procedures that are typically covered (assuming if covered at all). Testosterone is such a potent drug that most transmen hardly need anything beyond what's already covered by insurance, so to not even cover laser hair removal comes off like salt in the wounds.

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Dodecahedron314

I had to record my voice for a French assignment, and I...surprisingly somehow didn't immediately flinch when I played it back? Maybe it's a function of already knowing my intonation is going to be wonky because it's a foreign language, but also maybe I'm finally starting to get over my voice hangups to some extent. I doubt I'll ever achieve a smooth podcasting voice a la Cecil Baldwin or Noah Simes, but I don't entirely hate where I am right now, and that's a start.

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Kimmie.

Maybe TMI

Spoiler

I have actually been wearing female underwear for this entire week. And i have also been tucking. It looks feels better both mentally och physically. The underwear is much more comfortable. The tucking is a bit uncomfortable at first though. But it is really worth it:)

 

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Guest
41 minutes ago, Kimmie. said:

Maybe TMI

  Reveal hidden contents

I have actually been wearing female underwear for this entire week. And i have also been tucking. It looks feels better both mentally och physically. The underwear is much more comfortable. The tucking is a bit uncomfortable at first though. But it is really worth it:)

 

Spoiler

That's a great thing to start with, Kimmie! I'm not fammiliar with tucking though but i'd just try to do something you are comfortable with and doesn't hurt down there. Keep up the good work!

 

I have been actively checking binders and packers and i found this cute store that sells them really cheap and i'm going to save up to buy my first binder before summer starts :D  I'm curious to find out how i'd experience wearing a binder, I hope it's as good as with the sports bra's i wear! I saw they've got these packers for a reasonable price too but i'm kinda confused with the size and stuff. I eman, does it really matter what size you pick?

 

Oh, and i'm sore from my workout today..ended up with a headache too but at least i got more points :P 

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Kimmie.
33 minutes ago, Jayce said:
  Reveal hidden contents

That's a great thing to start with, Kimmie! I'm not fammiliar with tucking though but i'd just try to do something you are comfortable with and doesn't hurt down there. Keep up the good work!

 

I have been actively checking binders and packers and i found this cute store that sells them really cheap and i'm going to save up to buy my first binder before summer starts :D  I'm curious to find out how i'd experience wearing a binder, I hope it's as good as with the sports bra's i wear! I saw they've got these packers for a reasonable price too but i'm kinda confused with the size and stuff. I eman, does it really matter what size you pick?

 

Oh, and i'm sore from my workout today..ended up with a headache too but at least i got more points :P 

That sounds great man. You gonna be so buff sooner or later.

 

One thing i noticed my jeans are way more spacious down there now.  :D Need to look if i can find some girl jeans or pants and it will probably look way better.

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Mezzo Forte
41 minutes ago, Kimmie. said:

That sounds great man. You gonna be so buff sooner or later.

 

One thing i noticed my jeans are way more spacious down there now.  :D Need to look if i can find some girl jeans or pants and it will probably look way better.

Even as someone who actively prefers men's pants, there are girl jeans out there that are supper flattering. Hell, I'm holding onto a few pairs that my mom altered to make the pockets useable, and they make me feel like a rock star. (Only thing is that they leave more room in the butt than my nonexistent ass could ever hope to fill). :lol: 

 

Also, as someone who has occasionally experimented with shoving a sock or two down there, I think women's jeans can sometimes help conceal what's going on down there, or at least not draw attention to it. I've never tried using a real packer, so I can't say for sure, but that was certainly my impression anyways. 

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daveb
6 hours ago, Kimmie. said:

Maybe TMI

 

I've been doing that for a long time now myself. I can't remember ever finding it uncomfortable. If it really hurts it's probably not being done right, so be careful. If it's just uncomfortable because of it being new/different then hopefully you're okay and things will get better with practice.

 

6 hours ago, Jayce said:

I mean, does it really matter what size you pick?

Some people say size doesn't matter. ;)

(I can't really address packers, but my experience with breast forms is not to go too big and try to get a size that seems right for your body type and size. In other words, whatever is normal proportionally; it will look more natural.)

 

Good luck to both of you! :)

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Kimmie.
3 minutes ago, daveb said:

I've been doing that for a long time now myself. I can't remember ever finding it uncomfortable. If it really hurts it's probably not being done right, so be careful. If it's just uncomfortable because of it being new/different then hopefully you're okay and things will get better with practice

 

Good luck to both of you! :)

It doesn't hurt. I just feel that it is stretched and pressed or what to say. I don't tape just using the underwear. 

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butterflydreams
On 4/22/2017 at 5:48 AM, Kimmie. said:

Maybe TMI

  Hide contents

I have actually been wearing female underwear for this entire week. And i have also been tucking. It looks feels better both mentally och physically. The underwear is much more comfortable. The tucking is a bit uncomfortable at first though. But it is really worth it:)

 

I don't even really think about it anymore. The underwear I have has a nice compression factor, so that's just sort of how it works. From what I understand, there's a more "full tuck" that I expect would be far more uncomfortable long term, but that would make you much flatter.

Spoiler

It basically involves pushing the two little things back up to where they were before they descended.

 

20 hours ago, daveb said:

(I can't really address packers, but my experience with breast forms is not to go too big and try to get a size that seems right for your body type and size. In other words, whatever is normal proportionally; it will look more natural.)

I used to feel really nervous that my boobs weren't big enough, and that they would never get any bigger. It seems crazy to me, but I do think they are still filling out, but the overall cup size is probably at its limit. So, I'm not huge, and they might be slightly on the small side for my frame, but really, nothing a push-up bra can't fix, and also, I like them just as they are. Because they're mine. It's one of those things that's really helped drive it home for me. "Hadley, you have real, honest-to-goodness boobs. They are yours and you grew them just like every single other woman out there." And when I think about it like that, the size seems to matter less.

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Kimmie.
2 minutes ago, Hadley167 said:

I don't even really think about it anymore. The underwear I have has a nice compression factor, so that's just sort of how it works. From what I understand, there's a more "full tuck" that I expect would be far more uncomfortable long term, but that would make you much flatter.

  Reveal hidden contents

It basically involves pushing the two little things back up to where they were before they descended.

 

I used to feel really nervous that my boobs weren't big enough, and that they would never get any bigger. It seems crazy to me, but I do think they are still filling out, but the overall cup size is probably at its limit. So, I'm not huge, and they might be slightly on the small side for my frame, but really, nothing a push-up bra can't fix, and also, I like them just as they are. Because they're mine. It's one of those things that's really helped drive it home for me. "Hadley, you have real, honest-to-goodness boobs. They are yours and you grew them just like every single other woman out there." And when I think about it like that, the size seems to matter less.

Yeah to tape it and so on seems really unpractical when you use the bathroom. 

And i have read about the"little things* thing and it was actually kind of easy to do.

 

And have you seen my photos/pics in the photo thread? What do you think? So it look natural enough?

 

And it is great that you feel so Good about them Go you.:)

 

 

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butterflydreams
3 minutes ago, Kimmie. said:

And have you seen my photos/pics in the photo thread? What do you think? So it look natural enough?

You look pretty good :) And whoever did that makeup photoshop of you made you look even better, and it wasn't much change either. One tiny suggestion though, because I did the same thing for like 6 months before my stylist was like, "um...you should do this instead, it'll look so much better" is to work to move your part up a little bit so it's not so deep. It seems like this silly thing, and who would notice? But it really shifted my look and basically undoes (or hides) any masculine hairline you might have. Obviously you don't have to, and I think you look good regardless, but I wish someone had told me earlier, so I figured I'd pass it along to you. And once you get your part moved a bit, you can do other stuff like a messy part. Where you kind of zig-zag it. I have trouble with that, but I've been practicing and it looks sooooo good. It gives your hair the appearance of extra layers and volume with very little effort.

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Kimmie.
13 minutes ago, Hadley167 said:

You look pretty good :) And whoever did that makeup photoshop of you made you look even better, and it wasn't much change either. One tiny suggestion though, because I did the same thing for like 6 months before my stylist was like, "um...you should do this instead, it'll look so much better" is to work to move your part up a little bit so it's not so deep. It seems like this silly thing, and who would notice? But it really shifted my look and basically undoes (or hides) any masculine hairline you might have. Obviously you don't have to, and I think you look good regardless, but I wish someone had told me earlier, so I figured I'd pass it along to you. And once you get your part moved a bit, you can do other stuff like a messy part. Where you kind of zig-zag it. I have trouble with that, but I've been practicing and it looks sooooo good. It gives your hair the appearance of extra layers and volume with very little effort.

Thanks!  It is not Photoshop it is made with a app that Chillakilla recomended to me : MakeupPlus.

 

And thanks for the tip i am not 100% sure of what you mean but i can figure it out.:)

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daveb
2 hours ago, Kimmie. said:

And i have read about the"little things* thing and it was actually kind of easy to do.

this

 

2 hours ago, Kimmie. said:

i am not 100% sure of what you mean but i can figure it out.

I think what @Hadley167 is suggesting is to part your hair a bit farther up on your head, closer to the top of your head. But maybe not all the way to making it a middle part. Good to experiment with styles and things as simple as changing how you part your hair can make more difference than you might think. I don't have enough hair to experiment with these days, but I have tried a few different wigs (some are just "no"; :P ).

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butterflydreams
1 minute ago, daveb said:

I think what @Hadley167 is suggesting is to part your hair a bit farther up on your head, closer to the top of your head

Exactly. You can also run the part sort of at an angle, more from the side to the middle and top of your head. It all kind of depends on what you like. I've been so surprised how much seemingly little changes have such an effect on my appearance.

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Kimmie.
6 minutes ago, Hadley167 said:

Exactly. You can also run the part sort of at an angle, more from the side to the middle and top of your head. It all kind of depends on what you like. I've been so surprised how much seemingly little changes have such an effect on my appearance.

Okay so more forehead should be visible then. Thanks :)

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Mezzo Forte

All this talk of hair reminds me that I kind of need a trim right now :lol: 

 

Part of me is curious about trying a new hairstyle though, since I've been effectively getting variants of the same haircut since last July, and I doubt there are a lot of haircuts that would me ma'am'd at this point. :P I'm starting to suspect that my face went from heart-shape to oval since I started T, so perhaps a new cut will suit my face better anyways.

 

My hair grows way too fast, and I love how it looks really short, so I'm almost tempted to push my stylist to go even shorter. I'm half-entertaining an undercut, but one that's still short enough on top that I can try and get rid of the part in my hair. Can't say that I'm brave enough for a buzz cut, but I definitely want to try something new.

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butterflydreams
1 hour ago, Kimmie. said:

Okay so more forehead should be visible then. Thanks :)

Yeah, it definitely depends. A lot of trans women (not saying that's how you identify) will tell you that you have to hide your forehead. You'll see a lot of them with really pronounced bangs. It's definitely a cute look, but IMO, really hard to pull off. I can't because I have an adorable cowlick right at the top of my forehead. If I wanted good looking bangs, I'd have to put a ton of stuff in my hair to get it to stay that way. Not worth it. Better to just work with the cowlick and let my hair do what it wants to do. Ultimately, you should find the pieces that you feel are the best and the cutest and accentuate them. Otherwise, cis or trans, it's just going to look forced.

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