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butterflydreams

a gender positive thread

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1 minute ago, Kimmie. said:

That is great man. I wish i had something more positive to say about myself but i can't come up with something.

You can do it Kimmie! *Hugs*

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kaysir

If I turn out to be a girl, one good thing is that I'd be a woman who loves women. If I'm a guy, I'm a man who loves men. Getting rid of internalized homophobia and transphobia feels real' nice.

 

Also, another good thing about being gender-variant is that I got to have such a wide range of role models. I feel kind of lucky that my feelings prompted me to look into places like this and look for people all over the spectrum. I get to speak to people like @Heart who shows me it's ok to embrace what I like regardless of what gender I am, @Hadley167 who shares her experiences as a woman (which I didn't see much of growing up) and as a trans woman specifically, and @Mezzo Forte who chronicles his transition and his musicality and creativity.

 

If I wanted to tag all the people here who have taught me something, I'd probably have to list everyone who ever posted. You all make me feel more positive about myself.

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daveb
1 hour ago, kaysir said:

If I wanted to tag all the people here who have taught me something, I'd probably have to list everyone who ever posted.

ditto (yourself included)

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Mezzo Forte
4 hours ago, kaysir said:

If I turn out to be a girl, one good thing is that I'd be a woman who loves women. If I'm a guy, I'm a man who loves men. Getting rid of internalized homophobia and transphobia feels real' nice.

 

Also, another good thing about being gender-variant is that I got to have such a wide range of role models. I feel kind of lucky that my feelings prompted me to look into places like this and look for people all over the spectrum. I get to speak to people like @Heart who shows me it's ok to embrace what I like regardless of what gender I am, @Hadley167 who shares her experiences as a woman (which I didn't see much of growing up) and as a trans woman specifically, and @Mezzo Forte who chronicles his transition and his musicality and creativity.

 

If I wanted to tag all the people here who have taught me something, I'd probably have to list everyone who ever posted. You all make me feel more positive about myself.

You flatter me, kaysir. :redface: (Go figure that my sister was always seen as the "creative twin" between the two of us.) I'm glad that my ramblings can become something positive on here. :)

 

I'm always really afraid of accidentally omitting someone from a shout-out, since there's so many positive people in my life. Just about everyone who frequents these parts of the boards have done something positive for me in some way, and the support from everyone in the TransWhatevers thread really pulled me through as I worked up the courage to transition. I have the same worries offline. Heck, there's one friend in particular who is almost solely responsible for keeping me sane during the scariest part of my social transition who I'd be tempted to recognize, but a lot of my friends/family would probably be upset if I didn't recognize them for a very similar form of support.

 

That said, I feel like I'm getting a lot of shout-outs on here as of late, and I really do feel honored, especially since the people who have mentioned me vary in how much we've talked on here. I used to be a bit more of a lurker, so I know what it's like to really enjoy what a specific user has to say even when you haven't had a lot of direct conversation, and I guess I just never expected people to be that way about me. :)

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Mezzo Forte

Oh, and maybe this isn't necessarily a gender thing, but I think my ring size has gone back up, because my Irish Claddagh finally fits again! (It was a gift from my grandmother for my 13th birthday, but I had to stop wearing it when my fingers got too lanky after losing ~28% of my body weight over two years.) Around this time last year, I was ~10lbs lighter and looking back, I'm starting to understand why my weight was scaring people. I really did look super gaunt, and I really wonder if my dysphoria would have made me spiral into developing an eating disorder if I didn't start HRT when I did. Thankfully, that's not a problem, and I don't think I'm associating body fat with femininity anymore. My weight finally feels stable and sustainable after all this time :)

 

@kaysir, oh, and I almost forgot, your picture brings back memories of all the times my sis and I would catch lizards/geckos in our house so we could get them outside without hurting them. (I've also found that a lot of great people in my life seem to be coming from the same state that you're from, coincidentally. :))

 

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Heart
6 hours ago, kaysir said:

If I turn out to be a girl, one good thing is that I'd be a woman who loves women. If I'm a guy, I'm a man who loves men. Getting rid of internalized homophobia and transphobia feels real' nice.

 

Also, another good thing about being gender-variant is that I got to have such a wide range of role models. I feel kind of lucky that my feelings prompted me to look into places like this and look for people all over the spectrum. I get to speak to people like @Heart who shows me it's ok to embrace what I like regardless of what gender I am, @Hadley167 who shares her experiences as a woman (which I didn't see much of growing up) and as a trans woman specifically, and @Mezzo Forte who chronicles his transition and his musicality and creativity.

 

If I wanted to tag all the people here who have taught me something, I'd probably have to list everyone who ever posted. You all make me feel more positive about myself.

Awww, thank you :wub:

 

Posts like this are why we need a "love" button The like button simply isn't enough. You brought such warmth to my heart with that post... It's for moments like this that I love being here :cake: And for the record, I consider you, and every single Gender Discussion visitor, to contribute to the wonderfully welcoming and accepting atmosphere here. I use this place to heal sometimes, after long or difficult days. But most importantly, I know I can always come here and there will be warm voices to support me. No matter the time of day, no matter the place in the world I am. We all form a beautifully strong community here, and the value of that cannot be over-valued!

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Kimmie.
On 2017-04-10 at 7:29 PM, Jayce said:

You can do it Kimmie! *Hugs*

I accept myself is that enough?

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butterflydreams
On 4/12/2017 at 2:25 AM, Kimmie. said:

I accept myself is that enough?

It's more than enough. It might be the only thing that matters at the end of the day. :cake:

 

 

Something I felt worth sharing here is actually how my day went today. Because I'm a weird person in the strangely wide array of things I work on. Sometimes I almost let myself believe that I'm such a catch because of these things.

 

I woke up and rode my bike to the coffee shop in town. Just a few miles, but it's good to be back on the bike again.

 

When I got home, I decided it was time to get my car running again after winter. I had to get the oil all squared away, put the battery back in, fired it up, let it run through the old gas, give it a quick little test drive.

 

By then it was warmer, so I decided to move my solar panel to the summer position from its winter position. This is the panel for the power station I designed and built myself.

 

Once that was done, I had time to stitch together my latest shirt creation...using the solar power from my power station. This had been a long process, and this was a new pattern I was trying with pricier fabric, but from a source I had worked hard to find.

 

Overall a very productive day, and I couldn't help but hear a voice in my head, "Hadley, you're as proficient at dealing with the mechanicals of your car as you are putting a shirt together using power from something you built...that's incredible, and someday, someone is going to see it." I'm the girl who can do anything.

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Kimmie.
2 hours ago, Hadley167 said:

It's more than enough. It might be the only thing that matters at the end of the day. :cake:

 

 

Something I felt worth sharing here is actually how my day went today. Because I'm a weird person in the strangely wide array of things I work on. Sometimes I almost let myself believe that I'm such a catch because of these things.

 

I woke up and rode my bike to the coffee shop in town. Just a few miles, but it's good to be back on the bike again.

 

When I got home, I decided it was time to get my car running again after winter. I had to get the oil all squared away, put the battery back in, fired it up, let it run through the old gas, give it a quick little test drive.

 

By then it was warmer, so I decided to move my solar panel to the summer position from its winter position. This is the panel for the power station I designed and built myself.

 

Once that was done, I had time to stitch together my latest shirt creation...using the solar power from my power station. This had been a long process, and this was a new pattern I was trying with pricier fabric, but from a source I had worked hard to find.

 

Overall a very productive day, and I couldn't help but hear a voice in my head, "Hadley, you're as proficient at dealing with the mechanicals of your car as you are putting a shirt together using power from something you built...that's incredible, and someday, someone is going to see it." I'm the girl who can do anything.

Thanks. 

And wow that was productive go you :)

Stay awesome. 

I changed to summer tires/wheels this weekend.

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Dodecahedron314
7 hours ago, Hadley167 said:

When I got home, I decided it was time to get my car running again after winter. I had to get the oil all squared away, put the battery back in, fired it up, let it run through the old gas, give it a quick little test drive.

 

By then it was warmer, so I decided to move my solar panel to the summer position from its winter position. This is the panel for the power station I designed and built myself.

 

Once that was done, I had time to stitch together my latest shirt creation...using the solar power from my power station. This had been a long process, and this was a new pattern I was trying with pricier fabric, but from a source I had worked hard to find.

It is absolutely a goal of mine to be this good at various cool, useful things like this. This is all just so neat! :cake:

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Andiamo

A couple of people actually used my pronouns today! It made me really happy.

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Guest

I'm seriously considering a stand to pee packer and a binder, I noticed i really do not like having one.

 

Workouts are going quite well! I'm losing weight and i also noticed i've got more energy to make long walks when i was on my vacation

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Kimmie.
2 minutes ago, Jayce said:

I'm seriously considering a stand to pee packer and a binder, I noticed i really do not like having one.

 

Workouts are going quite well! I'm losing weight and i also noticed i've got more energy to make long walks when i was on my vacation

That's great go you! 

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ChillaKilla
28 minutes ago, Jayce said:

I'm seriously considering a stand to pee packer and a binder, I noticed i really do not like having one.

 

Workouts are going quite well! I'm losing weight and i also noticed i've got more energy to make long walks when i was on my vacation

You might just inspire me to get off my lazy rear and exercise too :P

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Guest
2 minutes ago, ChillaKilla said:

You might just inspire me to get off my lazy rear and exercise too :P

You can do it!!! *Takes out pompons*

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ChillaKilla
5 minutes ago, Jayce said:

You can do it!!! *Takes out pompons*

So I've got Jayce and maybe Kimmie as cheerleaders? Now I feel like I can do anything! :D 

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Guest
1 minute ago, ChillaKilla said:

So I've got Jayce and maybe Kimmie as cheerleaders? Now I feel like I can do anything! :D 

We'll be your biggest fangirls :P Go for it!!

 

*Insert squeal here* :lol: 

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Kimmie.
3 hours ago, ChillaKilla said:

So I've got Jayce and maybe Kimmie as cheerleaders? Now I feel like I can do anything! :D 

That would be a honor. So yay go you to.

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butterflydreams
5 hours ago, ChillaKilla said:

You might just inspire me to get off my lazy rear and exercise too :P

Mhmm, I'm getting my riding started this year. I'm really out of shape -_- mostly from my accident two summers ago, which shortened that season by 3 months and several hundred miles. Then last year, I had trouble recovering psychologically from the accident. Afraid of hills, and I was well under 1000 miles for the year. This year I want to get back to where I used to be. I want to do several (a dozen?) metric centuries (62 miles/100km) and at least one full century (100 miles). I want to get back up to my peak and hit 2000 miles this summer (maybe not a lot for serious riders, but our summers are kind of short, and I work a lot).

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Kimmie.
16 hours ago, Hadley167 said:

Mhmm, I'm getting my riding started this year. I'm really out of shape -_- mostly from my accident two summers ago, which shortened that season by 3 months and several hundred miles. Then last year, I had trouble recovering psychologically from the accident. Afraid of hills, and I was well under 1000 miles for the year. This year I want to get back to where I used to be. I want to do several (a dozen?) metric centuries (62 miles/100km) and at least one full century (100 miles). I want to get back up to my peak and hit 2000 miles this summer (maybe not a lot for serious riders, but our summers are kind of short, and I work a lot).

Do you know what? Go you to! Is it road bike or mtb we are talking about here?

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butterflydreams
1 hour ago, Kimmie. said:

Do you know what? Go you to! Is it road bike or mtb we are talking about here?

Road. It's dangerous out there. 

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Kimmie.
19 minutes ago, Hadley167 said:

Road. It's dangerous out there. 

Okay. I do some mtb myself from time to time. Will start to ride more know when it gets warmer. I prefer mtb because no traffic and it is quieter out in the woods. And i am less in the way.

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Guest

You can do it Hadley!!!! You go for it!!

 

 

One thing, I noticed that if you stick to your plan it usually pays off! I did my usual egym circle and about cardio training on a cross trainer (20 mins), bike (15mins) and treadmill (10mins)  sometimes i just run for 30 mins each time for both warming up and cooling down but that's more on days i'm not feeling well enough.

1 hour ago, Kimmie. said:

Okay. I do some mtb myself from time to time. Will start to ride more know when it gets warmer. I prefer mtb because no traffic and it is quieter out in the woods. And i am less in the way.

Biking in the mountains sounds like alot of fun! I tried mtb once but i ended up being so sore i never did it again :D

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Kimmie.
44 minutes ago, Jayce said:

Biking in the mountains sounds like alot of fun! I tried mtb once but i ended up being so sore i never did it again :D

We don´t really have any mountains around here so it is mostly gravel roads and forest paths.

But i want to visit Åre bikepark sometime.

Spoiler

 

 

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Guest
15 minutes ago, Kimmie. said:

We don´r really have any mountains around here so it is mostly gravel roads and forest paths.

But i want to visit Åre bikepark sometime.

  Reveal hidden contents

 

 

how come i'm always so sleepy when reading stuff :blush:  that sounds cool too, kimmie!

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Bad

I really like my body type. I'm tall and thin and I can usually pass as male with my binder and female without. Sometimes I wish I was more comfortable in my own skin but I'm assuming that will come in time.

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Toothlesss

This picture is from last week (the week of insanity tbh). I was out with my mom and her friend and apparently there's a local person who does bowties...

 

Spoiler

JKyiOvy.jpg

 

Bowties are cool! :)  Even my mom's friend (who semi knows me and probably won't understand progressive non-binary genders anyway) said it was cute.  (one thing about that word- why does "cute" have to always refer to feminine looks? Then again...maybe being seen as a non-conforming cis person (even though I'm def not) is safer :/  IDK ...) 

 

And I found this awesome Doctor Who bowtie :)   

 

 

And I have a question as to how it's sized.. Is it by radius or circumference? I've never worn ties or bowties before aside from the feminine hair clip ones.

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butterflydreams
7 minutes ago, Toothlesss said:

And I have a question as to how it's sized.. Is it by radius or circumference? I've never worn ties or bowties before aside from the feminine hair clip ones.

Should be circumference. Just get some paper tape measure and measure around your neck. That should give you a ballpark and you can get the right bowtie based on that. I had a thing for bow ties a few years ago, and I'd highly recommend learning to tie your own. It's a lot harder than a neck tie, but it'll give you so much cool cred :) And you can change up how it looks. You can make the bow tighter, or looser, or whatever.

 

Oh, and you're looking good!

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daveb

I don't think cute always refers to feminine looks. I've had people (mostly females) describe things I've done as cute (like painted miniature figures and drawings). Although in your case, dapper would've been a better word. As in, you are looking very dapper in your bow tie, @Toothlesss!

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Gentle Giant

@Toothlesss Bow ties suit you well! I see more ties in the background behind you, was this pic taken at a store? The Doctor Who one is awesome!

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