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Any asexuals like me, over 60?


biromanticseniorgal

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Autumn Sunrise

Welcome to the thread, conchyjoe :cake::cake::cake: There seem to be more "oldies" joining AVEN lately, so you might be lucky :)

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Welcome!

I am only 26 but have always gotten along better with people older than myself. Also I find the older asexuals have more in common with me so while I do not intrude on the older forums I read them and gain from them distantly. More of the older asexuals ended up with families of their own than the younger generations on the boards or they kind of "put up" with a sexual life for a time in their life... as the term asexual was not(and still not) as known.

The term was also not used in my day .. I'm 66 and as you said, 'put up' with sex simply because it was expected and I didn't want to be the odd man out. I did have a marvelous experience once in my 50s, but that was after a 25 year reunion with a love interest. Even that became tedious for me .. I really always just prefered the cuddles, the intellectual pursuit, the sharing of emotional feelings for each other and anything above the waist.

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  • 4 weeks later...

I am 60 and new to the site. Like some others who have posted here, not sure what I am doing. Primarily looking for frinds and like minds, I suppose.

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Autumn Sunrise

Hi viniketa - it's nice to meet another "older asexual" here. If you look through the other threads in this forum, you'll see that many of us post "all over the place" - it just depends if people are talking about something that interests you - you're always welcome to join in.

There DO seem to be more "over 60" members here than there were when I first joined, which is rather nice. As older people, discovering asexuality in our sixties, we do have some different experiences and feelings about this and it's good to have others to talk to.

I hope you find the companionship you're looking for here. AVENites are a pretty friendly lot, and also very supportive when/if you need that :)

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I've always said this is the frirendlliest forum on the board - my opinion of it never changes :) Welcome viniketa, pull up a comfy chair, nom on welcome :cake: :cake: :cake: :cake: :cake: :cake: :cake: relax and enjoy :D

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  • 2 weeks later...

Hello, I'm a newbie and 61, and it is nice to see a number of older folks on the site.

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Autumn Sunrise

Welcome, Unbroken :cake::cake::cake: Nice to have another newbie for this thread! I hope you enjoy being on AVEN and find some new friends here :)

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  • 2 weeks later...

Hi I have been on the site for a couple of weeks and am 61. I had heard the word asexual before and flirted with the idea until I found this site and realised it fit me to a tee. I never married or had kids as never wanted sex and I have always felt the odd one out, you know the poor single woman different to everyone else. I am used to being pitied and patronised.

I am so relieved to find other people just like me, and liberated. Sooo liberated. I always thought I was broken and needed 'fixing' to fit in and now I know I don't. I have suffered with depression for many years and a lot of it has been related to my sexuality and my obsession to find treatment to 'cure' me. It's a big weight off my shoulders I can tell you :) I am a different sort of normal that's all - and that's fine. I am feeling much better about myself now. I wish I had known about this when I was young...

Anyway nice to meet other older normal people. xx

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Autumn Sunrise

Welcome to the thread, hypercat :cake::cake::cake: I'm glad you're feeling better about yourself now! I hope you enjoy being on AVEN, and find some new friends here - we "oldies" are a very friendly bunch :)

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Autumn Sunrise

Welcome, Jaylah :cake::cake::cake: No issue at all - if you want to be here, then you belong here. I hope you enjoy it!

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Rockblossom

It's all very quiet on here. Have you all been kidnapped by aliens? :) x

No. This is the 60+ thread. It just takes us a long time to hobble to our computers and type in a reply. ;)

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It seems like there are a lot of younger (20s,30s,40s) asexuals on this forum. And, that's great! I wish I had come out as asexual at a much younger age. I could have saved myself a lot of heartache. Don't get me wrong, I love younger people. But, I'm 60 and have been out as asexual for over 15 years, having formerly, begrudgingly, disgustingly engaged in sex. I'm so glad to have found AVEN but was hoping to connect with others around my age without having to sift through the numerous topics. Is there a forum for seniors and I just couldn't find it? If not, does anyone else think there should be one?

I meant for the subitle of this topic to be ...forum for 50+?"

Did you ever get a response to your question? I had to smile at how you described your begrudging encounters .. I could have written it myself. Hope you're well. Greetings from the Netherlands.

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There's a whole bunch of us out there -- they just haven't discovered that there's such a name for it yet.

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the bumbling rotifer

It seems like there are a lot of younger (20s,30s,40s) asexuals on this forum. And, that's great! I wish I had come out as asexual at a much younger age. I could have saved myself a lot of heartache. Don't get me wrong, I love younger people. But, I'm 60 and have been out as asexual for over 15 years, having formerly, begrudgingly, disgustingly engaged in sex. I'm so glad to have found AVEN but was hoping to connect with others around my age without having to sift through the numerous topics. Is there a forum for seniors and I just couldn't find it? If not, does anyone else think there should be one?

I meant for the subitle of this topic to be ...forum for 50+?"

Did you ever get a response to your question? I had to smile at how you described your begrudging encounters .. I could have written it myself. Hope you're well. Greetings from the Netherlands.

I'm afraid that biromanticseniorgal hasn't been back to AVEN in a few years, Djangolili. Folk often come to AVEN for a time, find the answers that they're looking for, and then drift away again. Maybe one day, biromanticseniorgal will return to the community and see what her thread grew to become :).

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Autumn Sunrise

Welcome to the thread, Minette :cake::cake::cake: It's great to see so many newbies - hope you enjoy it here :)

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  • 4 weeks later...

Aloha. I'm 63, created a profile yesterday, and have been enjoying stumbling around, learning a lot from the FAQ sections, and look forward to chatting with someone who knows more than me, which won't take much. For now, I'm happy being an ally.

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Autumn Sunrise

Welcome, hank.buck :cake::cake::cake: Feel free to chat, and enjoy :)

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Welcome to AVEN hank and I hope you'll have some fun here. Have you checked out this thread ? It gives a good oversight of what AVEN has to offer. Nearly forgot - have some welcome :cake: :cake: :cake: :cake: :cake: :cake: :cake: :cake:

*From a cold and rather soggy UK :D *

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  • 2 weeks later...
jay williams

The term was also not used in my day .. I'm 66 and as you said, 'put up' with sex simply because it was expected and I didn't want to be the odd man out. I did have a marvelous experience once in my 50s, but that was after a 25 year reunion with a love interest. Even that became tedious for me .. I really always just prefered the cuddles, the intellectual pursuit, the sharing of emotional feelings for each other and anything above the waist.

You summed up EXACTLY my preferences!

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the bumbling rotifer

Just for your information, I've put up a poll to decide what we should do with the pinned threads in oldies (and don't worry, I'm not going to touch the age-specific threads :P).



Everyone's opinions are welcome!


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SteveIorio

Hi there from Florida! I'm 60, male, and only heard about all this yesterday for the first time. I never knew there were people in the world identifying as asexuals and thought maybe I was just a religious fanatic! Anyway, most of my friends are younger than me but I would have been a bit afraid to go on this forum when most people seem in their 20s and I could come off as some old pervert! Don't know if I prefer to talk with people of any particular age, but certainly good to know I'm not the only one out there who has lived a long life feeling like the only one :) Steve

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Autumn Sunrise

Welcome, Steve :cake::cake::cake: You'll find that people of all ages mix quite freely in the "oldies" forum - It's mainly a matter of whether you're interested in the topic being discussed at the time. I hope you enjoy being a part of the AVEN community, and find some new friends here :)

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Welcome Steve - yes quite a revelation to know there are others in the world like you - I can still remember how liberated I felt when I discovered AVEN. If you're worried about how you might be received in some of the other fora (and really no need to be) lurk for a while and get a 'feel' of how things run...or stay here. I've always said it's the friendliest forum on the board :D

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I'm 66. It's great getting older as people just assume you're asexual. As a girl with grey hair and wrinkles, I can go around scantly clad and no one even notices! (I live in Florida, and scantly is the way you want to be clad in summer).

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Hi everyone,

Some advice please. There is a guy in the pub who really fancies me and keeps trying to persuade me to have a sexual affair with him. I really like him as a friend but never want sex. I have told him I like him but don't fancy him numerous times but he won't let it drop. Yesterday he asked me if I was sexually active! I didn't know what to say and tried to fob him off. Do I describe myself as sexually active just to shut him up? I can't tell him the truth. I just reiterated that I don't fancy him and he keeps asking why and I say it's just the way it is.

It's not necessarily this guy that's the problem but dealing with my AS is. I love the friendship and emotional connection etc. but they always want to take it further and I never know what to say. In the place I live everyone seems to be at it like rabbits and if I am not seen to have a man in my life I am considered strange and even gay. I live in a very traditional area and homosexuals are given a hard time generally and I don't want that.

I like male company and do have a male friend I have known for many years. We have never had sex and he seems ok with it. I feel I have to keep this male friend to fit in even though sometimes he is very verbally abusive and nasty with me. But on the other hand he can be very kind. We only ever meet in the pub and occasionally he will take me out somewhere in the car. This sexuality thing is driving me nuts and I really don't know how to handle it.

Any advice please either practical or emotional- (really need this most please)

Thanks Bev x

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