Incredibly Ace Moments

[Ankh-Morpork]

8 minutes ago, nerdperson777 said:

I only said cemetery because that happened on The Big Bang Theory

Oh, that show. I stopped to watch it a while ago because it became unbearable, but now that you mention it I think I remember the scene.

[nerdperson777]

2 hours ago, Ankh-Morpork said:

Oh, that show. I stopped to watch it a while ago because it became unbearable, but now that you mention it I think I remember the scene.

I haven't watched recently because I'm in my giving up on life moments.  I know people find him a bad representative for autistic and asexual people but it's not enough for me to hate the show all together.

[nerdperson777]

Going to double post here.

 

Ace and/or trans thoughts about getting a professional massage (that I just got and got home right now):

 

-This seems really weird that I'm going to undress down to my underwear in the dark for someone (most likely a woman) to touch me intimately.

 

-There was one part where she told me turn over and I got really self-conscious about my chest so I hesitated.

 

-While she massaged my arm, my hand touched her boob/bra.  AHH AWKWARD.

 

-Okay she saw my moobs, but didn't say anything about it.

 

-(Right now) If I didn't slouch, I probably would've had less noticeable moobs..

 

Well I liked my massage anyway.  I'll go again for my birthday.

[PixleyDust✨]

On 11/3/2017 at 12:10 AM, Tintinfan said:

To tramatise aces and get them out in the open.

 

Being at school is worse as I'm definitely sure a couple of innoendos went over my head. *Sigh*

That first part is solid GOLD. That genuinely made my night. 🤣

 

As for the second part, from my experience, being ace definitely gets better after high school. At college, people kind of know what asexuality is, and they're super fascinated about it when they ask me about it.

 

And when I get those opportunities to bring it out into the open and really get to talk about it, I'm not going to lie: It feels straight-up MAGICAL.✨

[PixleyDust✨]

On 11/3/2017 at 4:36 AM, chandrakirti said:

I soooo get this! Presents with no strings? What's so hard to understand about that...

Right? 

 

Of course, he was still totally cool with being friends. 

 

But that's probably because, a few years ago when I seized the opportunity to come out to him, he also came out TO ME. 

 

So, yeah. Good thing we never dated. That might've been awkward being a twice-closeted queer couple. 🤣

[PixleyDust✨]

On 11/3/2017 at 8:17 AM, Planet Ace said:

Yeah, there is a similar proverb in English. It goes, "the way to a man's heart is through his stomach." Seems to mean more or less the same thing, I think.

 

My most recent ace moment occurred while I was having an ultrasound done last Thursday (which I needed to have done to diagnose PCOS, which I do have, apparently. Yay me). In the middle of this procedure, the doctor says to me, "OK, now you might hear a heartbeat in a moment, but don't freak out." Which confused me. I thought, "why does she think the sound of my own heartbeat would freak me out?" I had to puzzle over that for a few moments before I was able to work out what she meant. She thought I might think I was hearing a baby's heartbeat instead of mine!  Seriously?! Doc, I just told you moments ago that I'm a virgin. Short of an immaculate conception, there's no possible way I'm pregnant. 

OH MY GOD I SWEAR I HAVE TOLD MY DOCTORS THE SAME EXACT THING. I have told them that it would be biologically IMPOSSIBLE for me to be pregnant, being a VIRGIN and all. And yet they still test me for pregnancy and STDs. *sigh*

 

In fact, I've literally told my gyno before that I already knew that my STD panel was going to come back negative and she said, "Alright! Good for you!"

 

I knew she was just trying to be nice, but I couldn't help thinking: "It's not THAT big of a deal. It's pretty easy to avoid STDs when you have NO interest in the S." 🤣

[PixleyDust✨]

On 11/3/2017 at 6:19 AM, Ankh-Morpork said:

Girl: "Do you want to come over for dinner? I'll cook."

Me: "Sorry, my father already asked me. Rain check?"

Her: "But can't you just tell your father that a girl wants to have dinner with you?"

Me: "He already bought dinner. Why the fuss anyway? Let's just meet another day."

Her: "What if I wanted something from you and I thought that love goes through the stomach?" (Literal translation, I don't know if there's a fitting English proverb)

Me: "Well, that's a big if."

Her: *sigh*

 

(It was the same girl as in my last post, but until that night in her bed I thought that she was joking.)

If what she was saying is close to our version of the proverb, "The way to a man's heart is through his stomach", all I could think of was this other quote I read before that poked fun at that proverb SPECTACULARLY:

 

"Anybody who believes that the way to a man's heart is through his stomach flunked geography." --Robert Byrne

 

Love it. 🤣

[nerdperson777]

This comic sounded really ace/aro, until I heard about celibacy. 

http://www.webtoons.com/en/drama/my-boo/ep-25/viewer?title_no=1185&episode_no=25

[Plaidcladmad]

I actually read fanfiction for the plot. I told my friend this and she laughed like I had told a joke. "No I actually read it for the plot. I like to see what might have been or how stories could go differently". She still thinks it's super funny. But fine, you have your porn. I'll be chillin' over here with my well written 50,000 word exploration of the lands beyond middle earth. 

[PixleyDust✨]

18 minutes ago, nerdperson777 said:

This comic sounded really ace/aro, until I heard about celibacy. 

http://www.webtoons.com/en/drama/my-boo/ep-25/viewer?title_no=1185&episode_no=25

Huh. Just clicked and read through it, and totally got the same vibe. It felt so true to my experience, especially when she was talking about how reciprocating those romantic feelings felt more obligatory than wonderful.

 

And then the people assuming she was becoming celibate. That chestnut NEVER GETS OLD. *eyeroll*

 

She still seems really asexual though. Perhaps she's demi-romantic? At least, based on this comic alone, and especially with respect to how it ends. 🤔

[PixleyDust✨]

11 hours ago, nerdperson777 said:

I had that same idea. You're only thinking of that person as appealing because of sexual or aesthetic attraction. I find that pretty shallow. 

That's actually how I came out to a couple of friends before. He was openly bisexual, and showing us pictures of this guy he was sexting and asked for my womanly opinion (I guess?) since he assumed me and my other friend were both straight. 

 

Essentially, when he asked if this guy was hot, my friend said "Totally!" and all I could say was "Uh, I don't know? Maybe?" 🤣

 

Had to tell them that I didn't think ANY man was attractive, let alone THAT man.

 

So, yeah, I don't get it either. Seems super weird to me. 😗

[PixleyDust✨]

On 10/30/2017 at 2:33 PM, Famethyst said:

Today my friend posted an article entitled "Students get first hand job experience" with no explanation whatsoever in my friends' group chat. So I proceed to read the entire article, which has nothing to do do with any of us, and seeing nothing that stands out I ask him why he posted it. A few people are just like "Seriously??", and then I finally saw the sex reference (i.e. "hand job") and just thought to myself "Ugh, I'm too ace for this" and laughed a little.

"Ugh, I'm too ace for this."

 

Annnd that is my new mantra/comeback, so thank you. 😆

[PixleyDust✨]

On 11/1/2017 at 5:39 AM, Jax Nikara said:

Ok, so I was playing a card game called dirty minds and it is a game where there are three phrases describing something that can be taken two ways, the goal is to guess the clean answer. I kept guessing the answer easily and some people suspected me of cheating. Then, one of my friends I had told about my asexuality, suddenly shouted, "This is unfair, your asexuality is an advantage!" And then we all burst out laughing.

That is the best ace story I've read today OH MY GOD.

 

If that were me I'd just be like:

 

"You're just jealous that I'm gifted." 🤣

[PixleyDust✨]

On 11/9/2017 at 6:55 PM, Groobly said:

One time a friend of mine (who I actually had a crush on) was trying to have a moment with me, and we were outside and walking around together at night and she says "I'm feeling cold..." and I go "Eh, maybe you should have brought a jacket." She wanted me to pull her in so we could keep warm together, but I didn't pick up on it. I cringe sometimes thinking about it lol. I'm no good at that stuff.

I would have said the same thing. Ugh. And it comes off so mean too. That's why I would be cringing, at least. 

 

I swear, asexuals have to be strongest people on the planet dealing with ALL THIS CRINGE. Yeesh. 😬

[Groobly]

2 minutes ago, Pixley said:

I would have said the same thing. Ugh. And it comes off so mean too. That's why I would be cringing, at least. 

 

I swear, asexuals have to be strongest people on the planet dealing with ALL THIS CRINGE. Yeesh. 😬

Later in the night she made the first move, and grabbed my hand and we held hands...so it ended up alright. It just wasn't me who made the first move, and I was completely oblivious that she even wanted to do anything like that. We do have to deal with a lot of moments like this, though. Especially if we're not so good with romantic stuff. 

[PixleyDust✨]

On 10/30/2017 at 3:26 PM, Ulty said:

I was telling my friend that I liked the idea of being a little spoon. She looked at me like I said something naughty. And I was like what???? Is it wrong to like being cuddled? And then she was like ohhh you meant that. I was very confused what the heck she meant, she had to explain it to me. Apparently there's some sex move or something??? Either way I was like ew no. Cuddles girl. Cuddles. 

WAIT WHAT?! Spooning ISN'T universal for cuddling?

 

Dude...do I even want to know?

 

OH GOD. What were Hermes and Zoidberg doing then?

 

 

[PixleyDust✨]

13 minutes ago, Groobly said:

Later in the night she made the first move, and grabbed my hand and we held hands...so it ended up alright. It just wasn't me who made the first move, and I was completely oblivious that she even wanted to do anything like that. We do have to deal with a lot of moments like this, though. Especially if we're not so good with romantic stuff. 

Truth.

 

But I guess it's alright since your story went from cringe to cute in like SECONDS. Not going to lie, I awwed a little bit. 😙

[PixleyDust✨]

On 10/22/2017 at 1:26 PM, The_Reluctant_Dragon said:

Friend: Look at the rack on this chick (Hands me a dirty magazine)

Me: Ok... (Grab the magazine and try to just ignore it)

Friend: I would slam her if I got the chance

Me: Ok... (Try giving him the magazine)

Friend: Isn’t she hot?

Me: Not for my taste, I guess.

Friend: You’re telling me you don’t want to bang her?

Me: I just don’t want to have sex with anyone. I find it utterly useless. There are so many better things you can do, at least, in my opinion.

Friend: You don’t want to have sex?

Me: No...

Friend: Well what if you want kids?

Me: Adoption.

Friend: Well, just wait till you’re older. You’ll change. You’ll be more mature.

Me: Well, I don’t think I’ll change. And not having sex doesn’t make me immature.

Friend: So, you want to always be a virgin?

Me: Yeah, why not

Friend: (Looks at me as if I’m a total freak)

Me: I’m aromantic asexual. I lack sexual and romantic attraction.

Friend: Oh, ok.

Me: Just know that some asexual people do like having sex and want to engage in it, just not me.

Friend: So they’re not asexual

Me: Well, yes they are. If they don’t feel sexual attraction,they are asexual. And, just because they like sex, doesn’t mean they aren’t asexual. I’m just not interested in it.

Friend: Well they have sex. So it’s not asexuality...

Me: (Start explaining the difference between sex-favorable, sex-indifferent, and sex-repulsed aces)

Friend: (Looks more confused than before)

Me: Just because I don’t want to have sex, doesn’t mean other aces can’t have sex.

Friend: But, if they are asexual, why do they have sex?

Me: For pleasure, or to please their partner(s)

Friend: Asexual people can have a partner(s)

Me: Yeah, of course! Not every asexual person is aromantic.

Friend: What is aromantic?

Me: (Now I explain what aromanticism is.)

Friend: So aromantic people don’t want to date?

Me: (I explain the difference between romance-favorable, romance-indifferent, and romance-repulsed aros).

Friend: So you always want to be alone. Do you even feel love?

Me: (Now I have to explain the different attractions, what QPRs are, and the difference between crushes and squishes. I slowly start melting on the inside).

 

 

"DO YOU EVEN FEEL LOVE?" I AM SO DEAD. 🤣

 

Jesus, you poor thing. You have the patience of a saint.

 

I mean, after reading this, I can't help but wonder if we need to do like a collective, online group hug here or something. 

[PixleyDust✨]

On 10/14/2017 at 9:01 AM, Fen said:

When I was a senior in high school I worked on the fall play. A family acquaintance and my mother were having a conversation and I have no idea how the topic came up but he said to me, "Don't worry, I'm sure you will catch a man sooner or later." With all seriousness I gave him the first reply that came to mind. "Society frowns on filleting and cooking people." My mind had wandered into the land of hunting and fishing. He wandered off quickly after that, my mother just shook her head at me and I, clueless said, "what?"

 

This happened long before I figured out I liked women and even longer before I figured out being ace.

That is fantastic. Gotta remember that one. 😆

[PixleyDust✨]

On 10/28/2017 at 7:25 PM, Hazel_Elise said:

When I was, like, eight years old, my dad said something about sex to my mom, because some innuendo or whatever was happening in a movie on the TV. I was reading a book nearby. It went something like this.

My mom: Eric! Your daughter can hear you!

My dad: Oh come on, she doesn't even know what sex is. And she'll be getting The Talk soon enough anyway.

Me: I know what sex is! I don't need The Talk! (I watched a ton of Law and Order: Special Victims Unit. I had made all the necessary connections to understand sex. I was sex-repulsed, but I still liked proving that I knew stuff.)

Dad: How do you know what sex is?

Mom: Who told you?

Me: *brief pause* No one... I heard it I guess? I mean, I know you and Dad have had sex. That's how you had me and Lukie. (my little brother)

Mom: *assumes I just knew that sex leads to pregnancy and that I don't know how it is done* And what exactly do you know about sex?

Me: *carefully tells her in a very clinical way the physical act of sex, mostly from the point of view of a man having sex with a woman, not the two having sex with each other (because I thought I was the norm for a girl- and I would never want to have sex)*

Parents: *stare at me, confused as to how I know this*

 

And then my mother proceeded to take me up to her room and give me a talk on the role of sex in a conservative Christian girl's life. I was very disinterested at first, just nodding. Then I was terrified because I'm romantic and I wanted a husband, and she said that when I had a husband, we would have sex. No 'if's, 'and's, 'or's, or 'but's about it. She thought my disgust was typical because of my age and told me that I would get over it.

 

We then proceeded to somehow have the topic of marriage (and thus sex) brought up every couple of years, and when I started having panic attacks in the middle of our discussions, she became concerned that I was not normal... lol. She's still 'concerned' about me.

 

I just realised this changed from an asexual anecdote that I found amusing to a slightly more heavy discussion of my asexual anxieties. Wow, I'm a mess, sorry.

It's all good. Anxiety kind of goes hand in hand with our orientation, it comes with the territory, unfortunately. We're just kind of an awkward bunch, I guess.

 

And I thought it was kind of amusing telling your parents the actual mechanics of sex right then and there. I can just imagine the look on their faces and I'M SO DEAD. I imagine it looked something like this: 😱

 

Plus, I remember a similar story from when I was about 14, where my Dad made some remark about my dentist wanting to get into some other guy's pants and my Mom saying "Jef, your daughter is RIGHT HERE!"

 

I wasn't even paying attention until my Mom said something. And then I immediately imagined my dentist LITERALLY trying on some other guy's pants and wondering why she would get so upset about that, I mean, I borrow her clothes all the time.

 

Took me a minute to realize that he meant it sexually. So yeah. She was right, that probably wasn't appropriate dinner conversation right there. 🤣

 

[Ankh-Morpork]

6 hours ago, nerdperson777 said:

I haven't watched recently because I'm in my giving up on life moments.  I know people find him a bad representative for autistic and asexual people but it's not enough for me to hate the show all together.

It's not only Sheldon. The entire show is sexist and homophobic at a high level.

[Tintenfeder]

Last Tuesday our biology teacher wanted to do a test with us. He showed us different pictures of the same person with slight alterations (hip-waist-ratio) and we were supposed to say which version of the person we personally considered the most attractive (a female person for the boys and a male one for the girls, of course). My class started voting happily while I just sat there, a bit lost. In the end, my paper, where we had to write our opinion down, was empty.

[Haze.]

3 hours ago, Pixley said:

It's all good. Anxiety kind of goes hand in hand with our orientation, it comes with the territory, unfortunately. We're just kind of an awkward bunch, I guess.

 

And I thought it was kind of amusing telling your parents the actual mechanics of sex right then and there. I can just imagine the look on their faces and I'M SO DEAD. I imagine it looked something like this: 😱

 

Plus, I remember a similar story from when I was about 14, where my Dad made some remark about my dentist wanting to get into some other guy's pants and my Mom saying "Jef, your daughter is RIGHT HERE!"

 

I wasn't even paying attention until my Mom said something. And then I immediately imagined my dentist LITERALLY trying on some other guy's pants and wondering why she would get so upset about that, I mean, I borrow her clothes all the time.

 

Took me a minute to realize that he meant it sexually. So yeah. She was right, that probably wasn't appropriate dinner conversation right there. 🤣

 

Haha, that story is great! Very similar.

And yeah, they were very shocked... I mean, I was so young. xD

[Ankh-Morpork]

10 hours ago, Tintenfeder said:

In the end, my paper, where we had to write our opinion down, was empty.

Did you get any troubles or were you able to explain your lack of response?

[Vala]

16 hours ago, Plaidcladmad said:

I actually read fanfiction for the plot. I told my friend this and she laughed like I had told a joke. "No I actually read it for the plot. I like to see what might have been or how stories could go differently". She still thinks it's super funny. But fine, you have your porn. I'll be chillin' over here with my well written 50,000 word exploration of the lands beyond middle earth. 

I read it for plot, too. I was lucky to be introduced to fan fic on a site that kept stuff to about PG-13 so a lot of it was plot driven. I just avoided the 'shipping' and romantic pairings I didn't understand. Every now in then I get in a mood to read fic and hop on FFN and I swear just from using the filters I've gone from "20,395" available fics in my chosen fandom to, like, 30 fics that fit my parameters. Oh, well. 

[CFilipek]

19 hours ago, Pixley said:

OH MY GOD I SWEAR I HAVE TOLD MY DOCTORS THE SAME EXACT THING. I have told them that it would be biologically IMPOSSIBLE for me to be pregnant, being a VIRGIN and all. And yet they still test me for pregnancy and STDs. *sigh*

 

In fact, I've literally told my gyno before that I already knew that my STD panel was going to come back negative and she said, "Alright! Good for you!"

 

I knew she was just trying to be nice, but I couldn't help thinking: "It's not THAT big of a deal. It's pretty easy to avoid STDs when you have NO interest in the S." 🤣

I don't know why they still tested for pregnancy, but you can get STD's from sources other than intercourse, it's just less common. And some doctors may prefer to test anyway. Similarly, many virgins still get pap smears because while Cervical Cancer is more likely in people who engage in sexual activity there is still a small chance of getting Cervical Cancer. Also, some patients lie. My mom is an OBGYN and her patients aren't always truthful with her about various things, so they may just be testing to be safe anyway

[nerdperson777]

15 hours ago, Ankh-Morpork said:

It's not only Sheldon. The entire show is sexist and homophobic at a high level.

Yeah, Amy's crush on Penny seems to have evaporated, Howard and Raj's bromance is just for laughs, they cured Sheldon's asexuality.  Sometimes people still do things, like watch bad shows, even if the content is bad.  Sorry.  I'm being indifferent about the show right now though, since I haven't been watching lately.

 

14 hours ago, Tintenfeder said:

Last Tuesday our biology teacher wanted to do a test with us. He showed us different pictures of the same person with slight alterations (hip-waist-ratio) and we were supposed to say which version of the person we personally considered the most attractive (a female person for the boys and a male one for the girls, of course). My class started voting happily while I just sat there, a bit lost. In the end, my paper, where we had to write our opinion down, was empty.

I had a blank paper in theatre too.  The professor's idea of invoking our feelings in a scene is to remember how you felt about certain people in your lives.  She told us to write down that person that we want to "undress in our minds".  I said that I didn't have one and she said that I could fill it out later.  Another one was for who would make you melt into a puddle.  I really didn't have anything to write down other than I just want to make my friends happy and do things for them.

 

4 minutes ago, CFilipek said:

I don't know why they still tested for pregnancy, but you can get STD's from sources other than intercourse, it's just less common. And some doctors may prefer to test anyway. Similarly, many virgins still get pap smears because while Cervical Cancer is more likely in people who engage in sexual activity there is still a small chance of getting Cervical Cancer. Also, some patients lie. My mom is an OBGYN and her patients aren't always truthful with her about various things, so they may just be testing to be safe anyway

The doctor at the informed consent clinic told me that 85% of cervical cancer was from STDs, so I should still get pap smears for that reason.  I still haven't had one and I thought we were required to have one at 18 or something.

[PixleyDust✨]

24 minutes ago, CFilipek said:

I don't know why they still tested for pregnancy, but you can get STD's from sources other than intercourse, it's just less common. And some doctors may prefer to test anyway. Similarly, many virgins still get pap smears because while Cervical Cancer is more likely in people who engage in sexual activity there is still a small chance of getting Cervical Cancer. Also, some patients lie. My mom is an OBGYN and her patients aren't always truthful with her about various things, so they may just be testing to be safe anyway

Oh yeah, I know all that going in, don't worry. It's just one of those mildly annoying things I like to joke about, it isn't something that truly gets under my skin or anything.

[CFilipek]

10 minutes ago, Pixley said:

Oh yeah, I know all that going in, don't worry. It's just one of those mildly annoying things I like to joke about, it isn't something that truly gets under my skin or anything.

Gotcha. The testing is super uncomfortable though, I seriously wish I didn't have to get it done. The doctor was super chill and believed me about not having had sex though, which is nice. Though I think the nurse didn't think I was serious when I said I was asexual after they asked for sexuality, because it's not in my chart at all

[The_Reluctant_Dragon]

17 hours ago, Pixley said:

"DO YOU EVEN FEEL LOVE?" I AM SO DEAD. 🤣

 

Jesus, you poor thing. You have the patience of a saint.

 

I mean, after reading this, I can't help but wonder if we need to do like a collective, online group hug here or something. 

Don't worry. I'm used to it. And, an online hug here would be cool. We can do daily hugs so everyone can feel better.