blunose2772 Posted June 14, 2020 Share Posted June 14, 2020 Everyone knows the dragon's biggest weakness is polka. You should practice singing the Beer Barrel Polka There's a snake in my boot 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
50ShadesOfGreyAndPurple Posted June 14, 2020 Share Posted June 14, 2020 don't sssssstep on it my dog's got no nose, help me! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Anommamous Posted June 14, 2020 Share Posted June 14, 2020 Quit taking "got your nose" so seriously and give it back to the poor pup! Rude bugs try to keep me awake at night unless I cover up with my blanket. Someone tell them they're not allowed inside! 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Skycaptain Posted June 14, 2020 Share Posted June 14, 2020 Rude bugs? Swat them with a porn mag, they'll die happy There's nothing worth watching on TV again 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Andrea KF Posted June 14, 2020 Share Posted June 14, 2020 Well, you shouldn't have lended Anommamous your porn mags. There's been an increase in death threats against me since I bought a violin. 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Anommamous Posted June 14, 2020 Share Posted June 14, 2020 Hit the ones threatening you over the head with your violin. I borrowed someone's porn magazines to swat bugs, and now they're covered in goop. Actually, I think that's an improvement! 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
sSevenOfSpadeƧƨ Posted June 14, 2020 Share Posted June 14, 2020 Then why are you bothering us? Just return them when you finish your bug executions. So I set my room on fire, as was suggested... Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Aquatic Paradox Posted June 16, 2020 Share Posted June 16, 2020 You should have had a hose at hand. I was better at thinking up random scenarios as a teenager... Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Anommamous Posted June 16, 2020 Share Posted June 16, 2020 Start hanging out with groups of teenagers to get back into the mindset. The shop has had our mower for over 3 weeks, and we're really getting behind in some work because of it! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Andrea KF Posted June 16, 2020 Share Posted June 16, 2020 Buy a sheep, even if it isn't cheap. I come up with the worst puns.😟 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Aquatic Paradox Posted June 16, 2020 Share Posted June 16, 2020 It's not funny being punny. I want to play the accordion, but I don't no where to start... 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Phantasmal Fingers Posted June 16, 2020 Share Posted June 16, 2020 It doesn't matter. Do anything to an accordian and someone will think you're playing it. I can see that the fire in @SevenOfSpadess's room has taken hold nicely, and I know perfectly well that I should call the Fire Brigade. But the thing is, I just can't be arsed. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
sSevenOfSpadeƧƨ Posted June 16, 2020 Share Posted June 16, 2020 Wow, rude much! Could you please help me out here? It's getting toastier than I prefer... I think we all know what my problem currently is 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Phantasmal Fingers Posted June 16, 2020 Share Posted June 16, 2020 Try roasting marshmallows or pretend someone's invited you to a hogroast in your own room. Can someone else please call the Fire Brigade? 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
50ShadesOfGreyAndPurple Posted June 16, 2020 Share Posted June 16, 2020 No, i'm being attacked by storm of angry bee's who want their money HELP where can i find alot of money quickly or else the bee's will "introduce" me to their friends. all of them look so big and muscly WHERE CAN I GET MONEY! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Aquatic Paradox Posted June 16, 2020 Share Posted June 16, 2020 Go to the supermarket and give them honey instead, I'm sure they'd prefer it. What type of honey do bees prefer? 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Phantasmal Fingers Posted June 16, 2020 Share Posted June 16, 2020 Call the Fire Brigade and ask them. They earn loads of money and should be able to lend you some themselves. Have you called the Fire Brigade yet? @SevenOfSpadess is getting desperate! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Phantasmal Fingers Posted June 16, 2020 Share Posted June 16, 2020 Ninja'd! 😆 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
50ShadesOfGreyAndPurple Posted June 16, 2020 Share Posted June 16, 2020 well if he's desperate just tell him to blow on the fire, always works whenever i light a candle what kind of hog roast did you want @Cassowary92 , would the pig's friends get up and tell jokes about him? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Aquatic Paradox Posted June 16, 2020 Share Posted June 16, 2020 7 minutes ago, 50ShadesOfGreyAndPurple said: What kind of hog roast did you want @Cassowary92 , would the pig's friends get up and tell jokes about him? We can pick a pig at random and if one of the other pigs take the piss, they can be kept as a breeder. I just found a person I suspect has drowned, what do I do? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Phantasmal Fingers Posted June 16, 2020 Share Posted June 16, 2020 Throw them back in the river. If they remain motionless they're already dead. If they start struggling they aren't. I think @SevenOfSpadess is probably done by now. Anyone fancy a hogroast? 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
sSevenOfSpadeƧƨ Posted June 16, 2020 Share Posted June 16, 2020 I ran outside, so take that, @Real Jazz Hands! HA! I mean you guys can use the fire for your roast, it's still going... Do you guys want smores as well? 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
50ShadesOfGreyAndPurple Posted June 16, 2020 Share Posted June 16, 2020 if possible, quite honestly i didn't think you'd survive. you say in your profile you are a terry's chocolate orange, i thought you would have melted quick while i was commenting a flood has destroyed my home and all my possessions, is this useful to help @SevenOfSpadess or should i not bother you? 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Phantasmal Fingers Posted June 16, 2020 Share Posted June 16, 2020 Don't bother us with that. We'll be round to the chocolate orange's place for a roast. What else should we bring? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Aquatic Paradox Posted June 16, 2020 Share Posted June 16, 2020 We can bring potatoes. I have potato guns. Who do you think will win the potato gun fight? 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Anommamous Posted June 16, 2020 Share Posted June 16, 2020 I think the potatoes will win. The chaos in my house seems to be contagious. How do I contain the spread? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Aquatic Paradox Posted June 16, 2020 Share Posted June 16, 2020 Haven't you been paying attention? Burn it! Are there any problems that can't be solved with fire? 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Phantasmal Fingers Posted June 16, 2020 Share Posted June 16, 2020 Simple! Torch your house and invite us round for a roast! 😃 I can bring a catapult. That would work well with pigs in blankets! What else? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Phantasmal Fingers Posted June 16, 2020 Share Posted June 16, 2020 Ninja' AGAIN! 😯 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Phantasmal Fingers Posted June 16, 2020 Share Posted June 16, 2020 2 minutes ago, Cassowary92 said: Haven't you been paying attention? Burn it! 2 minutes ago, Real Jazz Hands said: Simple! Torch your house and invite us round for a roast! 😃 Great minds think alike! 🙂 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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