Homer Posted May 24, 2020 Share Posted May 24, 2020 Stuff a stork down your food hole then! My trousers are still wet from yesterday's sudden downpour 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
ClaryFray1984 Posted May 24, 2020 Share Posted May 24, 2020 Wear pull ups ! The damp will not bother you again. I cant say the word anemone 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Stéphane Posted May 24, 2020 Share Posted May 24, 2020 say enomena backwards, I dare you. I have NOTHING to snack on. I currently possess a bag of potatoes only, and it takes too long to cook them. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Nima Posted May 24, 2020 Share Posted May 24, 2020 its survival of the fittest. cook or starve. my light switch is too far from my bed, so that I've been leaving the light on when I go to sleep... 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Just a Quail Posted May 25, 2020 Share Posted May 25, 2020 Get some clap-on, clap-off lights. Problem solved! I don't know what to draw. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Marimbasticks Posted May 25, 2020 Share Posted May 25, 2020 Well I don't know how to draw, so you're already ahead of me. I don't know what tv show to binge watch next. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Ace-TheTimelordsCompanion Posted May 25, 2020 Author Share Posted May 25, 2020 Hi. It's me. You are now required to watch Doctor Who. Regardless of personal taste, whether you have already seen it, or whether you even have it. That is all. No negotiations. No other shows, ever. There isn't enough Doctor Who in the world to satisfy my cravings 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Skycaptain Posted May 25, 2020 Share Posted May 25, 2020 2 hours ago, Ace-TheTimelordsCompanion said: Hi. It's me. You are now required to watch Doctor Who. Regardless of personal taste, whether you have already seen it, or whether you even have it. That is all. No negotiations. No other shows, ever. There isn't enough Doctor Who in the world to satisfy my cravings Jump into the TARDIS and go visit a different world There's a huge bowl of delicious ice cream in front of me, and I'm allergic to it 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
blunose2772 Posted May 25, 2020 Share Posted May 25, 2020 I'll just take that. *slides the bowl over to himself* Ate the ice cream to fast and have brain freeze 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Ace-TheTimelordsCompanion Posted May 26, 2020 Author Share Posted May 26, 2020 I know some zombies who will help you get rid of that Now there are zombies coming after me 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Skycaptain Posted May 26, 2020 Share Posted May 26, 2020 Stick as sign up saying Morezombique this way " ➡, they'll think that's home Thinking up that pun made my brain ache 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Ace-TheTimelordsCompanion Posted May 26, 2020 Author Share Posted May 26, 2020 Well... 11 hours ago, Ace-TheTimelordsCompanion said: I know some zombies who will help you get rid of that I cannot think of a worthy pun to match Morezombique! 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Just a Quail Posted May 26, 2020 Share Posted May 26, 2020 Neither can I! Let's both wallow in self pity I am running out of ideas for what to post on here... 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Marimbasticks Posted May 26, 2020 Share Posted May 26, 2020 Use the predictive text on your phone to come up with things for you. I don't know what kind of pizza I want (thanks, predictive text!) Quote Link to post Share on other sites
hexingkinase Posted May 27, 2020 Share Posted May 27, 2020 Start with the first topping suggested by your predictive text. Then to make it interesting, paste it into google translate, play the pronunciation to a voice typing thing and whatever it comes up with is your second option. My computer keeps overheating 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Ace-TheTimelordsCompanion Posted May 27, 2020 Author Share Posted May 27, 2020 stick it in the freezer my computer's memory is full Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Skycaptain Posted May 27, 2020 Share Posted May 27, 2020 Hit it with a hammer, that usually causes things to lose their memory My toe is sore 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
blunose2772 Posted May 27, 2020 Share Posted May 27, 2020 *Gives your toe a Viking helmet and a large hammer* O wait... I thought you said Thor The DVD I ordered last month hasn't been delivered yet. 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Andrea KF Posted May 27, 2020 Share Posted May 27, 2020 Stare at a wall until it arrives. You can also paint the wall and watch it dry. Doubles the fun! My bacon looks like a seahorse (thank you, predictive text, I guess) 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Ace-TheTimelordsCompanion Posted May 28, 2020 Author Share Posted May 28, 2020 Eat a seahorse to see if it tastes like one too My feet are cold 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Skycaptain Posted May 28, 2020 Share Posted May 28, 2020 Walk across hot coals for charity My cat has just eaten my lunch 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Ace-TheTimelordsCompanion Posted May 28, 2020 Author Share Posted May 28, 2020 Next time your cat brings in a dead mouse, eat the mouse in revenge I am starting to get a toothache 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
50 rats in a trenchcoat Posted May 28, 2020 Share Posted May 28, 2020 rip out all your teeth and never have a toothache again the stray cats of my neighborhood keep screaming at night Quote Link to post Share on other sites
sSevenOfSpadeƧƨ Posted May 29, 2020 Share Posted May 29, 2020 If you cut off your ears or make yourself deaf, you'll never have to hear them scream again my little brother yodels at midnight, and he's horrible at it Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Marimbasticks Posted May 29, 2020 Share Posted May 29, 2020 Get him yodeling lessons as a gift. I want to go on a walk but it's too hot. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
blunose2772 Posted May 29, 2020 Share Posted May 29, 2020 Turn the AC as low as it will go and walk in circles around your dining room table. I ran out of deodorant Quote Link to post Share on other sites
erichamion Posted May 29, 2020 Share Posted May 29, 2020 Keep a skunk nearby, and nobody will notice your odor. My car sat so long the battery died. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Ace-TheTimelordsCompanion Posted May 29, 2020 Author Share Posted May 29, 2020 Give the battery a little funeral, burry it in your garden, and lay flowers on it's grave My eye is really itchy 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Skycaptain Posted May 29, 2020 Share Posted May 29, 2020 Kick your bare foot against a table leg, you won't notice your itchy eye then. I have run out of coffee 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Andrea KF Posted May 29, 2020 Share Posted May 29, 2020 Again? Tell me, do you buy other things than coffee? If so, that needs to stop right away! I had to get out of bed this morning. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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