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tygersongbird

For the sexuals and everybody, honest opinion: Is sex really all that great?

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Pan Ficto. (on hiatus?)
16 hours ago, James121 said:

I bet if the offer was $1m to have sex an average of once a week with a partner you’d...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

be rich

I'm not even ace (and I'm poor) and I wouldn't take a million dollars to have sex once a week. It wouldn't be fair to put a price like that on a relationship for a start, and I'd be having to grit my teeth and suffer which means someone who loves me and cares about me couldn't enjoy the sex anyway, and I'd stop loving them very quickly if I had to force myself into that and they still had sex with me anyway.

 

Not everyone will prostitute themselves (even for a million dollars), many prefer to have sex only under circumstances of love or at the very least under circumstances of mutual desire and mutual respect. Putting a price on that would really kill the mood and cheapen the beauty sexual intimacy can hold for some people.

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ElasticPlanet
32 minutes ago, Pan Ficto. (on hiatus?) said:
4 hours ago, ElasticPlanet said:

If someone offered me a million Generic Currency Units for going without something that I don't have any intrinsic desire for in the first place and have a few complicated ickyfeels about anyway, hell yeah!

 

The same money for going without kink or for not identifying/presenting as nonbinary: Nope. Keep your million...

If someone offered you a million dollars to go the rest of your life without speaking to another person though (or without something else that is deeply important to your well-being and happiness) you may not be so quick to accept the money!

Indeed. That's what my other examples (kink and nonbinary) were meant to say.

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ryn2

I still think some of the use of terminology is geography-specific.  Not that it’s Formal Science but I did a little asking around locally and the consensus seems to be that making love is “gentle, tender sex” whereas “f**king” is rough sex.  Several also said guys who wanted to come across as suave used the former but usually just seemed awkward and skeevy.

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Telecaster68

'Skeevy'?

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ryn2

I’m not coming up with a good synonym...  ummm... not really “sleazy” but in that general area.  Behavior that’s mildly creepy, mildly disgusting, off-putting?  If something skeeves you out, it feels “off” and creeps you out a little.

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Philip027

Creepy, awkward, disgusting.

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Telecaster68

Another cultural linguistic difference.

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ryn2

Yeah, slang’s bound to vary from place to place.  :)

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CBC
19 hours ago, ryn2 said:

Oh, there could be.  What if you don’t get to pick who it’s with?

Yeah ok, fair haha. I'll take no sex over sex with... well truthfully, most everyone haha. Not that desperate.

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ryn2

Yeah, that’s why I said some aces might have the advantage.  They’d just be doing it for the $1m and not expecting anything more from it.

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James121
14 hours ago, ElasticPlanet said:

If someone offered me a million Generic Currency Units for going without something that I don't have any intrinsic desire for in the first place and have a few complicated ickyfeels about anyway, hell yeah!

 

The same money for going without kink or for not identifying/presenting as nonbinary: Nope. Keep your million...

Hmm, I’d believe it when I saw it

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Anthracite_Impreza
15 minutes ago, James121 said:

Hmm, I’d believe it when I saw it

Can you stop acting like you know us better than us please? It's getting annoying.

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James121
1 minute ago, Anthracite_Impreza said:

Can you stop acting like you know us better than us please? It's getting annoying.

How is saying I don’t believe everything I am told and that I have my own opinions and skepticisms, acting like I know you or anyone else better than you know yourself. If it’s getting annoying then try not to misinterpret things.

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Anthracite_Impreza
3 minutes ago, James121 said:

How is saying I don’t believe everything I am told and that I have my own opinions and skepticisms, acting like I know you or anyone else better than you know yourself. If it’s getting annoying then try not to misinterpret things.

Because there's simply no need to voice your opinion on these matters. I said I wanted £1M to not have sex, you said I would have sex every week for £1M. @ElasticPlanet said they would not go without presenting as enby for £1M, you said that was doubtful. It's unnecessary. You're essentially saying we don't know our own feelings and feel the need to tell us that. Why? What are you gaining from being dismissive?

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ryn2
30 minutes ago, James121 said:

Hmm, I’d believe it when I saw it

You don’t think someone who is ace would take $1M in exchange for never having sex again?

 

Or you don’t think someone would turn down the money if it was offered in exchange for permanently giving up something really important to them?

 

The former seems like a no-brainer.  The latter would likely depend on the individual, their life situation, and what they were being asked to give up.

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James121
1 minute ago, Anthracite_Impreza said:

Because there's simply no need to voice your opinion on these matters. I said I wanted £1M to not have sex, you said I would have sex every week for £1M. @ElasticPlanet said they would not go without presenting as enby for £1M, you said that was doubtful. It's unnecessary. You're essentially saying we don't know our own feelings and feel the need to tell us that. Why? What are you gaining from being dismissive?

Would it be ok to voice my opinion if my opinion mirrored yours?

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Anthracite_Impreza
6 minutes ago, James121 said:

Would it be ok to voice my opinion if my opinion mirrored yours?

You don't need to comment on it at all, and thanks for the insinuation I only want to hear from people who agree with me. You're talking to ace and trans people here, so clearly you have no idea how important not having sex, or presenting a certain way is, if you think money will make us change our minds.

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James121
1 minute ago, ryn2 said:

You don’t think someone who is ace would take $1M in exchange for never having sex again?

 

Or you don’t think someone would turn down the money if it was offered in exchange for permanently giving up something really important to them?

 

The former seems like a no-brainer.  The latter would likely depend on the individual, their life situation, and what they were being asked to give up.

Thank you!! Yes the former is ridiculous.

Yet the latter IS DEPENDANT on an individuals life circumstances so when I have my doubts that the money would be turned down every time it is a perfectly reasonable doubt.

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James121
Just now, Anthracite_Impreza said:

You don't need to comment on it at all, and thanks for the insinuation I only want to hear from people who agree with me. You're talking to ace and trans people here, so clearly you have no idea how important not having sex, or presenting a certain way is, if you think money will make us change our minds.

Thank you for the advice about what I need to and don’t need to comment on. I’ll bare it in mind. But as per ryn2’s recent reply, my skepticism isn’t so ludicrous after all because it would depend on someone’s life circumstances as to whether they turned down the money. That’s they point I was making.

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ryn2
1 minute ago, James121 said:

Yet the latter IS DEPENDANT on an individuals life circumstances so when I have my doubts that the money would be turned down every time it is a perfectly reasonable doubt.

I doubt every single person would turn down the money.  I also doubt every single person would accept it.

 

That said, I think the issue above is that you expressed doubt about what a specific individual had directly said they would personally do.  Given that you don’t know them at all, that seems a bit presumptuous.

 

If a stranger says “no straight guy would ever have sex with another guy for $1M (or £M)” and you say “oh, I’ll believe that when I see it...,” that’s fair.  However, if that same stranger says THEY would never do it, why would you tell them you don’t buy it? 

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James121
Just now, ryn2 said:

I doubt every single person would turn down the money.  I also doubt every single person would accept it.

 

That said, I think the issue above is that you expressed doubt about what a specific individual had directly said they would personally do.  Given that you don’t know them at all, that seems a bit presumptuous.

 

If a stranger says “no straight guy would ever have sex with another guy for $1M (or £M)” and you say “oh, I’ll believe that when I see it...,” that’s fair.  However, if that same stranger says THEY would never do it, why would you tell them you don’t buy it? 

I guess because I believe they would.

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Anthracite_Impreza
1 minute ago, James121 said:

Thank you for the advice about what I need to and don’t need to comment on. I’ll bare it in mind. But as per ryn2’s recent reply, my skepticism isn’t so ludicrous after all because it would depend on someone’s life circumstances as to whether they turned down the money. That’s they point I was making.

My point is why do you need to tell someone you doubt their conviction? I doubt things people say regularly, but unless they ask or it's a safety issue, I don't say anything. Saying to a trans person "I bet you'd expose yourself to gender dysphoria for £1M", just shows how little you understand gender dysphoria. Same for a sex-repulsed ace.

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anisotrophic

@James121 being trans is the opposite of invisible, and means one is taking a substantial risk of sacrifice already -- in losing friends, disrupting family relationships.

And financially: risking a multitude of discriminations that can easily affect our professional work. I don't know how I've affected my career, but I've taken a risk. I doubt I've actually sacrificed a million bucks to do it, because I don't think people are as negative about a "masculine woman". But I have an AMAB NB colleague that I think is more realistically risking a million bucks over it.

We're already living our choices here, it's not a speculation.

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ryn2
10 minutes ago, James121 said:

But as per ryn2’s recent reply, my skepticism isn’t so ludicrous after all because it would depend on someone’s life circumstances as to whether they turned down the money.

Please don’t put words in my mouth.  I agree that how any given individual will respond depends on that person’s life circumstances.  I do not, however, agree that this means you (or any of us) know any specific stranger on the internet better than they know themselves.

 

If someone tells me their life circumstances dictate that they would not take the money, I’m not going to tell them I don’t believe them unless I know them

well enough to have good reason for that doubt.

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James121
1 minute ago, Anthracite_Impreza said:

My point is why do you need to tell someone you doubt their conviction? I doubt things people say regularly, but unless they ask or it's a safety issue, I don't say anything. Saying to a trans person "I bet you'd expose yourself to gender dysphoria for £1M", just shows how little you understand gender dysphoria. Same for a sex-repulsed ace.

But those particular details were not part of this equation when I made my response.

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James121
1 minute ago, ryn2 said:

Please don’t put words in my mouth.  I agree that how any

given individual will respond depends on that person’s life circumstances.  I do not, however, agree that this means you (or any of us) know any specific stranger on the internet better than they know themselves.

 

If someone tells me their life circumstances dictate that they would not take the money, I’m not going to tell them I don’t believe them unless I know them

well enough to have good reason for that doubt.

I didn’t put words in your mouth. It’s what you said wasn’t it? It depends on their life circumstances....

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James121
4 minutes ago, anisotrophic said:

@James121 being trans is the opposite of invisible, and means one is taking a substantial risk of sacrifice already -- in losing friends, disrupting family relationships.

And financially: risking a multitude of discriminations that can easily affect our professional work. I don't know how I've affected my career, but I've taken a risk. I doubt I've actually sacrificed a million bucks to do it, because I don't think people are as negative about a "masculine woman". But I have an AMAB NB colleague that I think is more realistically risking a million bucks over it.

We're already living our choices here, it's not a speculation.

Being trans wasn’t part of the equation when I made my response.

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Anthracite_Impreza
54 minutes ago, James121 said:
15 hours ago, ElasticPlanet said:

The same money for going without kink or for not identifying/presenting as nonbinary: Nope. Keep your million...

Hmm, I’d believe it when I saw it

@James121 Erm, it literally was. What do you think nonbinary means?

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James121
1 minute ago, Anthracite_Impreza said:

@James121 Erm, it literally was. What do you think nonbinary means?

Woops, must have missed that. However, before we go further, non binary does not necessarily disinterested in sex does it!

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ryn2
33 minutes ago, ryn2 said:

Or you don’t think someone would turn down the money if it was offered in exchange for permanently giving up something really important to them?

 

[....]The latter would likely depend on the individual, their life situation, and what they were being asked to give up.

This is what I said.  It was a general statement; basically, that you can’t know what each and every person would choose because it’s going to differ from person to person.

 

I’m not saying your skepticism towards the above poster is warranted; I’m saying that your certainty is unwarranted because you don’t know their situations (whereas presumably they do).

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