Short presentation of asexuality in another Italian event!

[ithaca]

One thing leads to another, I'm discovering, and from that one single event in Florence several things have come as results, which makes me incredibly happy.

I was introduced to this person named Lorenzo, who contacted me asking for some help and feedback on a little footnote on asexuality. The book is out, by the way, here's a link to it (Italian, sorry). Lorenzo lives in Verona, a beautiful city in Northern Italy (the city of Romeo and Juliet!). He coordinates a research center there that deals with politics and theories of sexuality.

In this city, on September 21st, a conference was held to discuss gender theories (sorry if the link is in Italian). While this may sound awesome, it really wasn't. A conference room in the city hall was given for free to people who discussed how non-conforming gender identities and the rights the UN is granting them are an attack to "natural society". You can imagine the Catholic basis behind this conference, but some local politician was also involved.

Lorenzo, who is truly awesome, challenged the city hall asking to also have a room for free, on another date, to discuss gender and sexuality theories. He gave a list of topics that would be discussed and names of people who would show up as speakers. Asexuality was included in the very title of the "hoped for" conference. The title translates as "Against Nature - lesbians, gays, bisexuals, asexuals, trans*, intersex wonder about their place in the world**"

I was invited to go there and give a brief presentation of asexuality. It would be only 7 minutes, and if I recall correctly I would be the first speaker. It may be hard to explain asexuality in 7 minutes but I'll try my best. I think the title of the conference will help, considering that "against nature" is something asexual people are called very often when coming out ("it doesn't exist", "it's not possible, you must fancy someone", "we are sexual beings, asexuality is not natural, it must be a disorder", etc). Wish me luck, let's hope I don't freeze in panic :redface:

**Note: the translation is missing a relevant pun. The word chosen for "world" in Italian implies "world created by God". Ironic reference to the bigoted conference of Sept 21, just as the Saint Francis icon holding a LGBT flag ;)

[Robin L]

Good luck!

It's great that you get to spread awareness in your language.

[Lia]

How did I not see this before? Good luck, ith!!

[Guest]

*Showers with cake*

I know you're already gone, but I hope you have a great day :) I'm sure you'll do great. Please report back to us once you get here ^_^

[ithaca]

*Showers with cake*

I know you're already gone, but I hope you have a great day :) I'm sure you'll do great. Please report back to us once you get here ^_^

I know you can't wait to get rid of me <_< But I'm only leaving tomorrow morning *wouldn't miss the cake-shower* :P

[MXC]

good luck!!! in bocca al lupo!!!!!

[Guest]

I know you can't wait to get rid of me <_< But I'm only leaving tomorrow morning *wouldn't miss the cake-shower* :P

:lol: I can't wait for you to be there, which is different than "getting rid of you" ;) Have all the cake you need, and bring 'em some if there's any left :P

[ithaca]

I know I usually get back with loads of pictures, and I promise I will, but for the time being you'll have to adjust and only get my text version of the report from the event =P (my cable to transfer pics from my cam to the laptop is to be found later)


It's been a really wonderful experience for many reasons. I don't even know where to start :o

Besides Verona being a wonderful city (I'll show you later), the conference was great, and really really touching.

At first, I learned more about the event this conference was thought as a protest against. In September, this other conference organized by groups like "Family Tomorrow" was titled "The Theory of Gender" and it was so homophobic, transphobic and just overall ugh that I can't even... For example, some of you may have heard of the tragedies near the coast of Lampedusa, where hundreds of immigrants, men, women and children, died when their boat sank in the sea. The conference against the theory of gender was actually a not so subtle conference against the approval of a law against homo-transphobia (the first step in the long process of approving a law, actually). And how did they open THAT conference? By saying that the approval of that law is worse than the death of hundreds of immigrants in Lampedusa. Which is a disgusting 'blinking' at racists, and that not-so-awesome conference was organized with the support of the MAYOR of the city, the PROVINCE of Verona and the bishop of Verona. The most important room in the most important palace of Verona was given to them for free and with their explicit support in the ads. There was also a defense of surgery on intersex babies, even though the UN has added it to the list of tortures against human beings.

It's important to remember that Italy has different laws regarding freedom of speech because of our past(?) history with fascism. Therefore our constitution forbids the creation of fascist groups and/or what we call "apology of fascism", the defense or praise of fascist ideologies. Hate for homosexual and/or transsexual people was/is part of fascist ideologies, I think we all know how many homo/transsexual people were sent to die during WW2. I can't even say I'm surprised, though, to learn that some Catholic and Italian institutions are aligning with fascists, considering Verona is a city run by "Lega Nord".

After the many offensive statements that were preached as "truth coming from God", Lorenzo Bernini, professor and researcher in theories of sexuality at the University of the same city, asked to have that same room for the conference briefly described in the OP.

And that conference was awesome. I don't know if we actually had the same room as those bigots, we had a room with around 180 seats, and the first amazing thing was that those weren't enough. Benches had to be added in the sideways and people were still standing up. More than 200 people were present, and many of the talks were really touching.

Lorenzo opened the conference by explaining what prompted it and why it's important not to dismiss those bigots' opinions: not because they are true or because they are more important than ours, but because they had political and religious endorsement and that means a lot. It reflects on where their city stands as far as human rights go, what these people really think.

After Lorenzo, two great speakers took the microphone. I've had the pleasure and honour to meet Michela Balocchi and Alessandro Comeni, founders of "intersexioni", the first 'collective' to be there for intersex people in Italy. It was really touching to hear Alessandro talk of their experience as an intersex person, and of the reality of this situation in a country like Italy. It's ridiculous to think of how many people are not even aware of the existence of intersex people because society wants to sell us the "binary truth". Let alone how few people know what they go through. Newborns being forced through surgery that many times equals genital mutilation just because they were born with atypical genitals, and bureaucracy needs to know if the baby is M or F. Parents being uneducated on the matter and left in the hands of 'the experts' who use intersex babies for hormone testing, often photograph their genitals and have those photos go around in universities/books without consent, force them through surgery and hormone therapy before the age of 2. Surgery that often is, at the admittance of doctors themselves, purely cosmetic and not related to health situation. These practices startes in the 50s/60s, and today some of those who were babies back then are protesting against what was done to them. Alessandro explained how some intersex people have so much scar tissue where their genitals were "built" that they can't feel any sexual pleasure at all. And this is without considering the many cases where doctors assigned the wrong sex. It's close to impossible for an intersex person to go through surgery again, both for legal reasons (harder than for trans people) and for psychological reasons. If many intersex people suffer physical pain because of the surgeries they were forced through, I can't even imagine the psychological suffering and trauma of going through that, of being labeled as "defected" at birth, made feel wrong all your life just because society won't accept that sex isn't effing binary! (There would be many political and sociological consequences with the admittance of such a basic and natural reality, consequences that Catholics and most right wingers can't stand to see happen)

Aaaaaaanyway, as Michela told me, it's really impossible to look into the reality of intersex people and walk away indifferent, if one has a heart. But I'll go on with the rest of the conference.

After some talks from lesbian and gay people that were also really amazing, we had a small break, and after that I did my short presentation. I hadn't prepared a speech because I wanted to see how it was going to unfold. I hope it wasn't too bad how it ended up =/ Basically, differently from what I imagined, I didn't go into an Asex101 explanation. I briefly explained what asexuality is (lack of sexual attraction towards anyone) and what it is not (choice, celibacy, etc) and then explained why I thought it was important to learn about it more, and to talk about it more. That just like gay and trans* people, we don't choose to be who we are, we don't choose who we (don't) feel attraction to, and yet sadly we often get reactions of denial, disbelief and mocking both from the heterosexual group, and the LGBT one. I said that it's time for people to stop feeling ashamed to be who they are, and yet I know so many asexual people who will NOT come out to their LGBT group for fear of being mocked, and don't come out to their family for fear of being sent into therapy, like it happened to people I personally know. I explained that one of my personal goals was to have asexuality added into sex ed curricula in schools, because no one should feel confused about their identity and broken till after their 20s, like I was. Well yeah, it was basically "why vis/ed of asexuality is important", nothing new :lol:

There was a really touching talk from a transwoman after me, who, for example, thanked people and said how it felt new and weird and empowering for her to have a microphone and people ACTUALLY listening to what she had to say, after so many years of invisibility, denial, violence. The longest applause started right after she said that. She had to ask us to stop.

Other interesting presentations discussed, for example, how and how much homosexuals and trans people are depicted in Italian medias, or feminism, or bisexuality.

When I went back to my seat, there were other brief voluntary speakers from the public, including one who just wanted to bash Catholics and take issues with anything-catholic. He mentioned something absurd like "You wanna know what's really against nature? Celibacy is! They should be ashamed! Go tell that to your priests and nuns!" People started murmuring in protest, someone looked at me and shaked their head/rolled their eyes at him to show support in my direction, and the moderator had to call him out on that, saying that it's only FORCED celibacy that is unfair, and that everyone should have the right to choose celibacy if they are so inclined. She looked at me after that, and I was glad that she said that, because I knew she wasn't mistaking asexuality with celibacy, but still we know how many asexual people choose not to have sex, and no one should be shamed for that.

After a little while, a boy sat on the bench close to my seat. I had noticed him during the break already: he was reading one of the leaflets I had left on the table at the entrance, and I noticed him because his hands were shaking a little. When he was there sitting on the bench after the presentation, I said hi and he thanked me for my presentation. He came out to me as asexual, and said he didn't know there were others like me. That he goes to an LGBT club but never told anyone about his non-attraction; people there think he's an hetero 'loser' (but ally) or a bisexual. And he was glad to know there was nothing wrong with him. That made 3 asexuals present at the conference: me, him and another one whom I met before the conference (we planned it on AVEN Italy). Eventually, even though there were time-management issues and alike, it felt really great to even reach just one more person, you know?

After the conference, we went to the LGBT club "Pink" and had dinner and drinks all together. It was a really awesome experience and we had lots of fun. Even there a lot of people asked questions about asexual relationships, orientation, libido, and the usual. We didn't go home before 2 am :lol:

[Guest]

Nothing to say, other than... huge, huge props! :o

I'm surprised Italy has come so far (finally!) with acceptance of sexual and gender minorities. I'm glad to hear it was a great day for you. ^_^

For your visibility efforts!

[Robin L]

After a little while, a boy sat on the bench close to my seat. I had noticed him during the break already: he was reading one of the leaflets I had left on the table at the entrance, and I noticed him because his hands were shaking a little. When he was there sitting on the bench after the presentation, I said hi and he thanked me for my presentation. He came out to me as asexual, and said he didn't know there were others like me. That he goes to an LGBT club but never told anyone about his non-attraction; people there think he's an hetero 'loser' (but ally) or a bisexual. And he was glad to know there was nothing wrong with him. That made 3 asexuals present at the conference: me, him and another one whom I met before the conference (we planned it on AVEN Italy).

Best moment ever! Make me tear up, because that's exactly why we're doing all this visibility work. To help others accept themselves, and their identity.

[ithaca]

The usual loads of pics :P

Ok so first things first, let's get a view of the city (I took some of these from one of the hills, ain't that a pretty view?)

There are really beautiful buildings and squares in the city:

Including a wonderful castle (who doesn't love castles?):

And this castle has a wonderful bridge on the river Adige:

However, Verona's history is MUCH MUCH older than Middle Age. In the central square you can see one of the biggest arenas of Roman history (half of first century A.C.) and there are other remains in the city (including a bridge though it was rebuilt as it was before, sincei t was destroyed during the war):

[ithaca]

Much of the city tourism revolves around Shakespeare, since Verona is where Romeo and Juliet's drama was set:

I visited "Juliet's Grave" first, which is actually a museum (I didn't get in because it was late):

Juliet's house and balcony came right after that, with the famous statue (tourists are supposed to touch her breast which would bring good luck, it's been done so many times the statue's breast is now damaged):

Another important thing for tourism is related to horse races and competitions. I was lucky enough to be in the central square when there was a parade of carriages and coaches:

Last but obviously not less important, this is the building where we had the conference. It's the most important building in the city!

And these are the pics I took at the conference, and later at night at the LGBT club "Pink" (I didn't take pics of people there for privacy reasons):

[Guest]

Without any bias involved, I will say that the posters we made were the prettiest. Without any bias, of course. :P

[michaeld]

Woweee! Amazing work!! Sounds like an awesome occasion.

[Kelly]

That was an awesome conference. : Three :vis: :vis: :vis: for your work and presentation. The whole thing was an amazing experience.

And Oh, my; Verona!

[ithaca]

That was an awesome conference. : Three :vis: :vis: :vis: for your work and presentation. The whole thing was an amazing experience.

And Oh, my; Verona!

Thank you!

Have you and Abbie been to Verona, Kelly?

[ithaca]

More pictures! Taken by friends and people who were there :)

(I'm on the far left)

[Kelly]

Have you and Abbie been to Verona, Kelly?

Not yet.

More pictures! Taken by friends and people who were there :)

.

Those are awesome. That was quite a conference. And it was wonderful that an administrator of AVEN was there to represent asexuality.