test account Posted March 18, 2012 Share Posted March 18, 2012 Lets overtake AVEN, scrap the Older forum, and introduce a teen forum instead :twisted: That will make the rest of us the 'ordinary' members, with a special zone for the young people--who will need to sit an entrance exam and graduate before we let them step foot on the rest of the site. Hahahaha just kidding! ;) Or am I? :lol: or maybe the entry requirement could be one strand of grey hair? Nice idea--to be submitted to the mods in a snap lock bag :lol: Link to post Share on other sites
Sally Posted March 18, 2012 Share Posted March 18, 2012 There is a 30s thread that is within the Older Asexuals forum, and which currently has thousands of views. I just don't see anything wrong with the Older Asexuals forum. To me, 25 just isn't "older". It isn't as though 25-year-olds can't come into Older Asexsuals -- just about everyone does, at one time or another. Link to post Share on other sites
test account Posted March 18, 2012 Share Posted March 18, 2012 Are you thinking "25+ forum" might decrease the visibility of people who are 50+ ? It might, I think, unless there were some age specific threads pinned, which would be nice touch I think. Like a "Welcome 50+ Members", and "Welcome 70+ Members" type thing. The 30s thread isn't pinned I think, I just checked. But I like this idea. It would help people of certain age groups find each other, if they wanted to. Do you think so? Link to post Share on other sites
Alan Degas Posted March 18, 2012 Share Posted March 18, 2012 Lets overtake AVEN, scrap the Older forum, and introduce a teen forum instead :twisted: That will make the rest of us the 'ordinary' members, with a special zone for the young people--who will need to sit an entrance exam and graduate before we let them step foot on the rest of the site. Hahahaha just kidding! ;) Or am I? :lol: heh, sounds good to me! :lol: Link to post Share on other sites
test account Posted March 18, 2012 Share Posted March 18, 2012 Actually I'm really starting to wonder why there's an Older forum at all. I'm noticing on other threads comments like "the Older Avenites are getting younger" and "people can post anywhere they like". Why isn't the stuff in the Older forum just posted in the categories they belong to in other forums? Like, the 30s thread could be in the Meet up area or Off A or Just for Fun? Why do we have it unless its to discourage visits from teens? Can't the concerns of older people be discussed in the general areas? What am I missing? Link to post Share on other sites
Beachwalker Posted March 18, 2012 Author Share Posted March 18, 2012 Actually I'm really starting to wonder why there's an Older forum at all. I'm noticing on other threads comments like "the Older Avenites are getting younger" and "people can post anywhere they like". Why isn't the stuff in the Older forum just posted in the categories they belong to in other forums? Like, the 30s thread could be in the Meet up area or Off A or Just for Fun? Why do we have it unless its to discourage visits from teens? Can't the concerns of older people be discussed in the general areas? What am I missing? I guess I prefer it because I feel more able to relax and just be me. In the other area I am more conscious that there may be younger members present and I don't feel as comfortable to post freely but that's just me. Link to post Share on other sites
ily Posted March 19, 2012 Share Posted March 19, 2012 There is a 30s thread that is within the Older Asexuals forum, and which currently has thousands of views. I just don't see anything wrong with the Older Asexuals forum. To me, 25 just isn't "older". It isn't as though 25-year-olds can't come into Older Asexsuals -- just about everyone does, at one time or another. Agreed. I'm 27, and no one considers me "older" (unless they're very young themselves). I think the name should stay the same. Link to post Share on other sites
Beachwalker Posted March 19, 2012 Author Share Posted March 19, 2012 There is a 30s thread that is within the Older Asexuals forum, and which currently has thousands of views. I just don't see anything wrong with the Older Asexuals forum. To me, 25 just isn't "older". It isn't as though 25-year-olds can't come into Older Asexsuals -- just about everyone does, at one time or another. Agreed. I'm 27, and no one considers me "older" (unless they're very young themselves). I think the name should stay the same. I guess thats my point, I am in my thirties and at Aven that's considered older but not everyone in their late twenties, thirties, forties ? ? fifties would consider themselves older. Renaming it the 25+ or 30+ forum would make it more obvious who it was geared towards and dropping asexual from the forum name would make it more inclusive for all members. Link to post Share on other sites
Sally Posted March 19, 2012 Share Posted March 19, 2012 Actually I'm really starting to wonder why there's an Older forum at all. I'm noticing on other threads comments like "the Older Avenites are getting younger" and "people can post anywhere they like". Why isn't the stuff in the Older forum just posted in the categories they belong to in other forums? Like, the 30s thread god, could be in the Meet up area or Off A or Just for Fun? Why do we have it unless its to discourage visits from teens? Can't the concerns of older people be discussed in the general areas? What am I missing? It doesn't discourage visits from teens, it encourages visits by older asexuals. If you're older, AVEN is getting more and more daunting each year. You're posting along and all of a sudden someone mentions what someone said in high school yesterday, or that their mother took them to the doctor last week, and you realize "My god, these kids could be my grandchildren." Having a space where you're more likely to find people around your age is really nice. Link to post Share on other sites
test account Posted March 19, 2012 Share Posted March 19, 2012 Actually I'm really starting to wonder why there's an Older forum at all. I'm noticing on other threads comments like "the Older Avenites are getting younger" and "people can post anywhere they like". Why isn't the stuff in the Older forum just posted in the categories they belong to in other forums? Like, the 30s thread god, could be in the Meet up area or Off A or Just for Fun? Why do we have it unless its to discourage visits from teens? Can't the concerns of older people be discussed in the general areas? What am I missing? It doesn't discourage visits from teens, it encourages visits by older asexuals. If you're older, AVEN is getting more and more daunting each year. You're posting along and all of a sudden someone mentions what someone said in high school yesterday, or that their mother took them to the doctor last week, and you realize "My god, these kids could be my grandchildren." Having a space where you're more likely to find people around your age is really nice. Okay I can understand that. So for those in the 60+, 70+ range, how does it feel to post alongside 30 yr olds who seem to be regarded as Olders on Aven? We're young enough to be your kids. I think this has arisen because the 30s crowd aren't sure where they belong. Teens think 30 yr olds are ancient, but are they really Older? Does lumping them in with the Older forum prevent those in older age groups having a forum especially for them? I don't have an opinion, I'm just wondering. Link to post Share on other sites
Curious_1979 Posted March 19, 2012 Share Posted March 19, 2012 I love the name "Older Asexuals". I imagine it deters those under 25 from posting in it! That's a good thing. I find comfort when communicating with other Older persons who can relate to what I'm going through. It doesn't seem broken, so why fix it? As for people in their thirties not knowing where to go. Honestly, it looks like the majority of people on Aven are under 25, it is pretty obvious looking at the types of conversations that are happening on Chat, and posts in Topics. I think most persons over 30 would "know" to go to the Older Asexuals area. But you all have been here longer than I have, please do what must be done! Link to post Share on other sites
Finding myself Posted March 19, 2012 Share Posted March 19, 2012 (want to insert Sally's post - see above - but do not know how too). I agree totally. I've experienced the 'My god, these could be my grandchildren' feeling too! I want somewhere devoted to 'older' folks! Link to post Share on other sites
test account Posted March 20, 2012 Share Posted March 20, 2012 I love the name "Older Asexuals". I imagine it deters those under 25 from posting in it! That's a good thing. I find comfort when communicating with other Older persons who can relate to what I'm going through. It doesn't seem broken, so why fix it? As for people in their thirties not knowing where to go. Honestly, it looks like the majority of people on Aven are under 25, it is pretty obvious looking at the types of conversations that are happening on Chat, and posts in Topics. I think most persons over 30 would "know" to go to the Older Asexuals area. But you all have been here longer than I have, please do what must be done! That's fine, but no, I didn't know where to go when I joined, and I've heard similar comments from other posters. I stayed out of the Older forum for ages because I assumed it was for people 50+ who wouldn't want to be bothered with a lunatic 35 yr old. Eventually I moved in there because I started to feel like an old fart among the under 25s, who assume 30 is when you book yourself into a nursing home. Link to post Share on other sites
Beachwalker Posted March 20, 2012 Author Share Posted March 20, 2012 How about keep the forum name the same then maybe just change the word 'asexuals' to 'members' and in the forum summary change the word 'mature' to '25+'? Link to post Share on other sites
Sally Posted March 20, 2012 Share Posted March 20, 2012 I think this has arisen because the 30s crowd aren't sure where they belong. Teens think 30 yr olds are ancient, but are they really Older? Does lumping them in with the Older forum prevent those in older age groups having a forum especially for them? I don't have an opinion, I'm just wondering. Anyone can go anywhere on AVEN. Nothing deters me from posting anywhere I want, but I do avoid threads that have "I hate my mom" or "this guy in class" in the titles. I don't think any of us older people demand that we have an older forum which shuts out 30s members. It's not that we want to shut out anyone. It's that we'd like a forum where we can pretty reliably find other older members, and probably 16-year-olds are not going to post in the Older forum. So there's some self-selection. And at this particular time, just two threads below this, there is a "30s" subtopic within the Older forum, which has existed for some time now. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted March 20, 2012 Share Posted March 20, 2012 When I first started I looked through the Older Asexuals section right away. I peeked in all the forums. I saw several 30-somethings (and I think the 30-something thread was already there), so that was that. If I didn't have the Sexual Partners forum to post in, I'd probably be in here a hell of a lot more, but that's just the better fit for me. Plus, the Sexual Partners forum is oldster-y too. Link to post Share on other sites
test account Posted March 21, 2012 Share Posted March 21, 2012 I think this has arisen because the 30s crowd aren't sure where they belong. Teens think 30 yr olds are ancient, but are they really Older? Does lumping them in with the Older forum prevent those in older age groups having a forum especially for them? I don't have an opinion, I'm just wondering. Anyone can go anywhere on AVEN. Nothing deters me from posting anywhere I want, but I do avoid threads that have "I hate my mom" or "this guy in class" in the titles. I don't think any of us older people demand that we have an older forum which shuts out 30s members. It's not that we want to shut out anyone. It's that we'd like a forum where we can pretty reliably find other older members, and probably 16-year-olds are not going to post in the Older forum. So there's some self-selection. And at this particular time, just two threads below this, there is a "30s" subtopic within the Older forum, which has existed for some time now. I know. I started the one that's going on for 100 pages now, so there'd be somewhere for the 30s to go :) Link to post Share on other sites
Beachwalker Posted March 22, 2012 Author Share Posted March 22, 2012 I think this has arisen because the 30s crowd aren't sure where they belong. Teens think 30 yr olds are ancient, but are they really Older? Does lumping them in with the Older forum prevent those in older age groups having a forum especially for them? I don't have an opinion, I'm just wondering. Anyone can go anywhere on AVEN. Nothing deters me from posting anywhere I want, but I do avoid threads that have "I hate my mom" or "this guy in class" in the titles. I don't think any of us older people demand that we have an older forum which shuts out 30s members. It's not that we want to shut out anyone. It's that we'd like a forum where we can pretty reliably find other older members, and probably 16-year-olds are not going to post in the Older forum. So there's some self-selection. And at this particular time, just two threads below this, there is a "30s" subtopic within the Older forum, which has existed for some time now. I know. I started the one that's going on for 100 pages now, so there'd be somewhere for the 30s to go :) Yeh and it's a great thread to hang out in, thanks Sweetex for starting it. So would there be any objections to the word mature in the forum description being changed to 25+? Link to post Share on other sites
test account Posted March 22, 2012 Share Posted March 22, 2012 I think this has arisen because the 30s crowd aren't sure where they belong. Teens think 30 yr olds are ancient, but are they really Older? Does lumping them in with the Older forum prevent those in older age groups having a forum especially for them? I don't have an opinion, I'm just wondering. Anyone can go anywhere on AVEN. Nothing deters me from posting anywhere I want, but I do avoid threads that have "I hate my mom" or "this guy in class" in the titles. I don't think any of us older people demand that we have an older forum which shuts out 30s members. It's not that we want to shut out anyone. It's that we'd like a forum where we can pretty reliably find other older members, and probably 16-year-olds are not going to post in the Older forum. So there's some self-selection. And at this particular time, just two threads below this, there is a "30s" subtopic within the Older forum, which has existed for some time now. I know. I started the one that's going on for 100 pages now, so there'd be somewhere for the 30s to go :) Yeh and it's a great thread to hang out in, thanks Sweetex for starting it. So would there be any objections to the word mature in the forum description being changed to 25+? That sounds like a good compromise. It'd make it more clear who the Older crowd are on AVEN (pretty much anyone who isn't a child :P ) Link to post Share on other sites
Confabulase Posted March 22, 2012 Share Posted March 22, 2012 Lets overtake AVEN, scrap the Older forum, and introduce a teen forum instead :twisted: That will make the rest of us the 'ordinary' members, with a special zone for the young people--who will need to sit an entrance exam and graduate before we let them step foot on the rest of the site. Hahahaha just kidding! ;) Or am I? :lol: We could keep up the cake theme, and call them half-baked. :) Link to post Share on other sites
test account Posted March 22, 2012 Share Posted March 22, 2012 Lets overtake AVEN, scrap the Older forum, and introduce a teen forum instead :twisted: That will make the rest of us the 'ordinary' members, with a special zone for the young people--who will need to sit an entrance exam and graduate before we let them step foot on the rest of the site. Hahahaha just kidding! ;) Or am I? :lol: We could keep up the cake theme, and call them half-baked. :) :lol: I like it Link to post Share on other sites
Cakey Posted March 22, 2012 Share Posted March 22, 2012 Oh my, as long as you do not rename it the coffin-dodger thread, I would be immensely pleased at 25 plus or 30 plus :) Link to post Share on other sites
test account Posted March 22, 2012 Share Posted March 22, 2012 Oh my, as long as you do not rename it the coffin-dodger thread, I would immensely pleased at 25 plus or 30 plus :) :lol: Link to post Share on other sites
daveb Posted March 22, 2012 Share Posted March 22, 2012 hmmm The Older forum was started a few years ago because the small percentage of AVEN members who were above the general apparent age wanted to be able to find each other and find posts more relevant to themselves, their concerns and interests, rather than wade through the large quantity of posts more relevant to the younger and more numerous AVEN members. I can see how it might seem to exclude people who feel like they don't fit in with the majority of younger AVEN members, but also aren't sure they fit into the "older" category. 25+ sounds rather young to me. It's less than half my age. :P But specific age ranges may not be very helpful either. It's more about where individuals are at in life. For most of the regulars in the Older section it seems we are generally relieved to have discovered asexuality and not angsting over it, many of us have had relationships with sexuals and experience with sex, many of us are closer to retirement than to the beginning of a career or work life, high school and teenage-hood and their attendant issues are a distant memory, etc. That's not to say if you don't fit any of that that you can't post here. It's just how do we have a place that helps a minority find a spot amongst the crowd. And how do we do it without "watering it down" so we're a minority within a minority. On the other hand, I wouldn't want to exclude anyone and I do like "mixed" communities with varied perspectives and experiences. We have that in AVEN as a whole. And we do get younger people posting in the older threads from time to time, often with welcome insights from different perspectives. Not sure what the best ways forward are. I'm reluctant to make changes (especially any that involves specifying an age range or starting age), but it does sound like there are people who could use some guidance to come here or to a place that fits their needs? (as for a lock of gray hair for entry, I only have the odd strand of gray here and there. At this point it's uncertain if I will go gray first or bald first) :P Link to post Share on other sites
Sally Posted March 22, 2012 Share Posted March 22, 2012 No one who ventures into the Older Asexuals forum gets kicked out. Instead, if someone puts their foot in and says, "Am I allowed to post here?", we welcome them. As Daveb said, since we are so far a minority (that will likely change in the future as asexuality gets more well-known), it's nice to have a place where you can be sure that at least some of the people are at a similar period of life. Otherwise, I have to go down the "view new content" and try to find some thread that sounds like it might contain some posts from older members, when I want to complain about something that relates to my part of life. Without the Older Asexuals section, that would be hit or miss, especially the slapdash way threads are entitled. I think what some of us are trying to say (or at least I am) is that there's no reason why a 25-year-old couldn't post and be welcomed in the Older Asexuals thread. But if you renamed it "25+", I'd feel like I'd lost something that is valuable to me. Link to post Share on other sites
daveb Posted March 23, 2012 Share Posted March 23, 2012 No one who ventures into the Older Asexuals forum gets kicked out. Instead, if someone puts their foot in and says, "Am I allowed to post here?", we welcome them. As Daveb said, since we are so far a minority (that will likely change in the future as asexuality gets more well-known), it's nice to have a place where you can be sure that at least some of the people are at a similar period of life. Otherwise, I have to go down the "view new content" and try to find some thread that sounds like it might contain some posts from older members, when I want to complain about something that relates to my part of life. Without the Older Asexuals section, that would be hit or miss, especially the slapdash way threads are entitled. I think what some of us are trying to say (or at least I am) is that there's no reason why a 25-year-old couldn't post and be welcomed in the Older Asexuals thread. But if you renamed it "25+", I'd feel like I'd lost something that is valuable to me. agreeing with Sally (yet again today) :) Link to post Share on other sites
mackat5 Posted March 23, 2012 Share Posted March 23, 2012 No one who ventures into the Older Asexuals forum gets kicked out. Instead, if someone puts their foot in and says, "Am I allowed to post here?", we welcome them. As Daveb said, since we are so far a minority (that will likely change in the future as asexuality gets more well-known), it's nice to have a place where you can be sure that at least some of the people are at a similar period of life. Otherwise, I have to go down the "view new content" and try to find some thread that sounds like it might contain some posts from older members, when I want to complain about something that relates to my part of life. Without the Older Asexuals section, that would be hit or miss, especially the slapdash way threads are entitled. I think what some of us are trying to say (or at least I am) is that there's no reason why a 25-year-old couldn't post and be welcomed in the Older Asexuals thread. But if you renamed it "25+", I'd feel like I'd lost something that is valuable to me. agreeing with Sally (yet again today) :) And I agree, too!!! Link to post Share on other sites
5_♦♣ Posted March 23, 2012 Share Posted March 23, 2012 Oh my, as long as you do not rename it the coffin-dodger thread, I would be immensely pleased at 25 plus or 30 plus :) You're hilarious, cakes. Link to post Share on other sites
test account Posted March 23, 2012 Share Posted March 23, 2012 I think some of us dislike 'older' and 'mature' for the reason we don't feel as old or mature as those the forum was designed to cater for. But maybe we need to reevaluate our thinking on that? "Older" is older than what exactly? At 30 you're not old, but you are older than a 17 yr old. And maybe you don't feel more mature than a 17 yr old but I think one would be surprised. No matter how crap your life has been, you have been experiencing something. It just might not have been ideal. How this message could be relayed to users so they feel included I have no idea. It might be one of those things people have to work out. Personally I think it would have been better from the start to have a teen forum for all the school and parents stuff, but its rather too late for that. Link to post Share on other sites
Lucinda Posted March 23, 2012 Share Posted March 23, 2012 Perhaps the description could be changed to: For those folks who are more curmudgeonly than angsty on their good days. :P Lucinda Link to post Share on other sites
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