TransWhatevers of AVEN

[Sarah-Sylvia]

47 minutes ago, Wilby said:

how do ya feel now that people completely use this seriously? like, you seriously created a whole new set of genders just by this, and people related. so, how do u feel (if you ever see this)?

They haven't been on since 2013, so I doubt that.

[Rosendust]

Spoiler

I am having such dysphoria surrounding behind being misgendered & I've decided I'm just going to try to socially transition. That's valid, right?

 

[DuskFire]

1 hour ago, Rosendust said:

  Hide contents

I am having such dysphoria surrounding behind being misgendered & I've decided I'm just going to try to socially transition. That's valid, right?

 

That's completely valid 🤗

I wish you well!

[daveb]

Yep, valid. Some people do socially transition without medical or physical transitioning, or with any combination. It's whatever works for you. It's all good.  

[Janus the Fox]

Try it, see how it goes and feels

[Kimmie.]

I really need to shave my arm hair again it is really starting to raise my dysphoria.

[Kimmie.]

This hit way to close

https://www.deviantart.com/jocelynsamara/art/RAIN-p1-328-The-Last-Letter-Part-2-897526036

[Kelly]

Cameron Bess will become the first out pansexual person to go to space

 

And they're taking a pansexual Pride flag with them.

[Kimmie.]

The feeling when even your phones wallpaper gives you gender envy.

[A User]

I own a few more unisex items now

Finally getting somewhere 

[Sarah-Sylvia]

23 minutes ago, differentnames said:

Hello, I'm an androgyne. What made me realize? Well, I've dysphoria since puberty, but in the last few years it became significantly worse. I would, and sometimes do, stand in front of the mirror for hours, looking at a body which obviously isn't mine. I felt and feel completely disconnected from this body, and have had many moments where I literally could not see myself in the mirror. I would stare and be like, "is that really me?". 

Then one day I realized, no, it isn't me. Because this body is female, and I'm a male. I thought about if I was transmale for awhile, but not everything fit. Then I thought about transmasculine for awhile. It still didn't work. Why? Because I'm a feminine male. I'm a male with some feminine characteristics. Bigender was not it. Trigender was not it, etc. etc.

Then I found androgyne. It fit perfectly. I'm a male, but I retain some femininity. 

I am trans. But I won't be forever. One day,, I'll just be me. I'm working on transitioning currently. I'll be speaking with my doctor in a few days about what we can do about top surgery, since insurance is very tricky for me, and also about microdosing T, and whether or not that might or might not be a good idea for me.

Hi.
Hope you find something good along your journey.

Androgyne would be someone who feels in between male and female and usually wouldn't identify as either (or maybe slightly both). Though obviously there's flexibility for how someone feels and for the label itself since it can sometimes mean having both masculine and feminine traits to whatever degree, but I wonder what made you settle on androgyne. There's different ways to use labels, I think non-binary would work for a more general label, but also men can be feminine just like masculine, in the same way that a woman can be masculine/tomboy. So it really depends how you feel about things and what draws you to certain labels.

Feel free to share more thoughts

[Sarah-Sylvia]

24 minutes ago, differentnames said:

I went back and forth between androgyne and bigender for a bit, but I found a lot of information about bigender being more fluid, as in one day someone might feel male, and another day female, just for example. The information I found on androgyne was that it seemed to be more fixed, as in I don't switch back and forth or move along a line of fluidity. Which describes me perfectly. I feel the same gender, all the time, which is male and female, but I feel it to a specific degree.. male, not really female, but with feminine traits. I also check the enby box sometimes, because I realize I can fall under that, too, but I needed a deeper understanding. More detailed. Nothing seems to fit better than androgyne. 

But, I don't know everything, that's for sure. If you or anyone has any other thoughts, please feel free to share. I'm always up for learning something new, and I'm certainly aware that change is possible over the course of one's life.

Thank you very much for your reply!

Most of the time I've seen bigender it was more meant to mean static than fluid, but it's a broad label enough that people can use it if they're fluid too.

Androgyne is pretty open when used as a gender identity label, so it's definitely possible to use it like you do though it might be a bit hard to know you identify more as male(?) since it's often used to blur more the lines between male and female or gender expression. Personally I don't incllude gender expression in gender identity, since any gender can be masculine or feminine or however they want to be. I guess it just depends how strongly you feel it has to do with your gender compared to how you express gender traits. How do you feel about labels like demiguy?

 

Just my thoughts on it because like I said the label is pretty open-ended. I see a lot less people identifying as androgyne these days, non-binary having shot up enormously in popularity (as far as labels go)

I identified as androgynous at the beginning of my trans journey, but ultimately I acknowledged just how important my female identity was to me and now I see myself as a trans woman And whether I'm feminine or tomboyish I leave open, I can be however xD.

[Sarah-Sylvia]

44 minutes ago, differentnames said:

I have looked into demiguy and such, but somehow I ended up with the impression that it's more of a label for younger people than myself. I don't really know why I got that impression. But I will look into it again and see if I get a different perspective.

And thank you for sharing some info about your personal journey with me. I can definitely see how you're able to leave your gender expression open, and that's really awesome.

One of my issues is that I am not ever going to be able to fully medically transition. I have health problems which might prevent me from HRT, but it's something I have to talk to my doctor about. 

I definitely want top surgery, but even that might be a risk for me. But my dysphoria is so bad, it might be a risk I'm willing to take.

I have other issues with HRT, too, like I do not want facial hair, or more body hair, I don't want a deeper voice, I don't really want a different musculature, although I would like to see some fat redistribution, terrified of the hairline issue. 

All these things combined, and thinking I will not really be able to fully transition to male, has made me feel like I have to just accept some parts of me that are female, and try to learn to work around the dysphoria. 

So I settled for androgyne, I suppose, because I feel like that might be the only way I can mentally deal with the female parts, while still being able to incorporate my maleness? in an acceptable way for me. I also would very much prefer to present as a more feminine guy, not really a manly man type, personally. 

I'd like to hear your thoughts on this, if you wouldn't mind, of course.

I understand, actually quite a bit, because transitioning can be hard, and it makes it easy to wonder what to do about things socially and medically. I can share a few thoughts, including on identity..

 

Generally, identity is meant to be about how you truly feel inside, and not really what you can manage to do socially, if that makes sense. So if someone really connects with a particular gender, in their heart, as to who they are and want to be, then that's what matters for someone's gender identity. But not everyone is 'out' or willing to live out their gender identity, and that's where it can get kinda complicated. It doesn't really matter if someone transitions or not, in terms of their identity, but of course it's still a big thing and worth thinking on.

And I kinda have problems around these things too myself, and have even thought to tell people I'm non-binary, or just 'trans' without saying how I identify, but in the end what's in my heart is female. It would be more easy socially if I were to say I'm non-binary, but in the end I wanna be true to what's in my heart, even ifi it's hard, so I'm slowly doing what I can in terms of transitioning, even if I don't know how far I'll go, but the most important is trying to feel myself as who I am in my heart, even if I wouldn't show all of it to people socially, though it is a bit easier with friends who support me. And will see where things go.

 

It does sound more complicated when it comes to transition for certain things when someone is non-binary in some ways. and if you don't want the masculine body traits you mentioned then yeah hrt might not be the way to go. I think it's always about finding what aspects you do want and can transition with. Some people might socially transition in some ways or get certain surgeries but not medically transition more than that, so yeah definitely follow what feels best to you.

❤️

[LeChat]

@differentnames Hi. Thanks, for sharing that.

 

Congratulations, about the gender therapist! That sounds great, how you felt after the first session.

[LeChat]

@differentnamesYou're welcome!

[Sarah-Sylvia]

@differentnamesAlways happy to help, and I look forward to how your journey will go. When I first saw a therapist around this I was a mess xD, was hard not to be emotional and I don't think they were used to it for some reason. But that was a needed step for me too. It's nice to see your positivity around it

[Sarah-Sylvia]

33 minutes ago, differentnames said:

Ok, my anxiety is through the roof again. And I'm thinking too much again, and that never seems to go well for me. Racing thoughts, losing my mind, dissociation only being controlled because I'm keeping busy.

I've been thinking all day about your replies @Sarah-Sylvia , and I ran into my own problems. I'm on the autism spectrum, so I have a tendency to take things completely literally, and I realized throughout the day, that I may have been failing at understanding some of what you were saying. I sometimes don't see things between the lines right away.

So now, I am seeing what you said from a very different perspective, and I see how androgyne might not really be fitting for me. Now I'm thinking something else completely, not even nonbinary, although I feel hesitant to say so, because I was so sure for a bit that androgyne was it.

Now this idea is really blowing my mind, being back at square one, but I  believe I have a better understanding of what you were getting at now, and I think you are probably right.

Sorry if I'm being bothersome, or if this all sounds really weird. My anxiety makes me have to express my thoughts, or it will never stop. 

You're definitely not alone to feel or think a lot around it, it's important to us. I do know though that it's better to be easy on us and give ourselves time. It's a journey, and it really does take time. I hope you can be easy on yourself, sometimes it takes to re-look at things, doesn't mean a whole lot will change, but sometimes it could, but if it means we realize something then it's a good thing. I know it's not always the best or easiest though.

I think just like any big things, we think and feel more clearly if we aren't worrying too much on it. At least, I've found it useful to, when I can, leave it aside and remember that my wellbeing and mental health matters. I hope you can take care of yourself and find stable land and calm to think more from.

 

I also hope you can feel free to share your thoughts when you want to. Just take it one step at a time and remember the most important is to be yourself. The labels can follow as you be true to yourself and what you want, whatever that means to you ❤️

[Sarah-Sylvia]

Hi again @differentnames

 

Nice to see you again. It's fine wherever you want to post, though this thread doesn't get much activity these days, so if you'd like more input from others, do feel free to start a new thread in the gender section. We can talk things out here too for now though too ;p.

 

The way I look at identity labels, the umbrella ones might not be very precise, but they're easy to use with anyone, like non-binary, so I do think it's worth keeping hold of that one. And then the more you go into micro labels, the more you can find something more detailed, but it's also much harder to talk about in bigger communities.

Androgyne 'can' be used as a gender identity but it's true that it's been more used for looks or gender expression. It's still an option when someone feels their gender is 'in between' male and female, or some kind of vague mix.

 

After non-binary for an umbrella label, transmasculine is actually a great one, because it's still vague but does give the important info of identifying more as male but there being able to be more to it. Demiguy is good if someone feels partially male and the rest is open (like neutral or agendeer). With what you said though, it sounds like you mostly identify as male but with a  bit that's open to being neutral?

 

There 'is' a micro label that might be closer to what you wrote about, it's called Paragender, and in your case Paraguy (or Paramasculine). It means being mainly one gender but there's some openness for a bit or some of another (like agender/neutral)

If you're curious to check it out, here it is:

https://gender.fandom.com/wiki/Paragender

 

In my case it's kind of the opposite side where I thought about transfeminine, and that's really what I am, but decided just to call myself a trans woman for easy talks

[Sarah-Sylvia]

52 minutes ago, differentnames said:

Hello @Sarah-Sylvia

 

Thank you for giving me some more info here. 

I checked out transmasculine again, and what I took away from that definition is someone who identifies as being masculine, but not a man. Please correct me if I'm mistaken there. There are just so many contradictory definitions out there, and I'm one of those people who just keeps digging a rabbit hole until I get to, well, nowhere, usually. But, I did check out another transmasc forum, and some of it seems similar to me.

And, wow!.. the link you provided to paragender/paramasculine seems to fit me perfectly. I have never come across that term until now, but I have to say, it seems very precise in my case!

But, it does seem to be pretty obscure, as a micro label. I would definitely have a lot of explaining to do there. 

So, I have to agree with you, I'm definitely hanging on to nonbinary, for the sake of ease in conversation. I'm still confused about transmasc because of all the info out there, but I definitely see why it's easier for you to call yourself a trans woman in convo, and it would probably be easier for me to just call myself a trans male. Perhaps you had a sense of what direction I was heading in already, since our last chat.

But, paramasculine does fit me really well, and even if I don't use it for future conversations, it definitely gives me more of a detailed sense of how I feel on the inside, because I'd say that 99 percent/1 percent, maybe even less than 1 percent most of the time, is right on. And that's exactly what I have been looking for. A way to define myself to myself, for myself😁

 

Just wow! You are awesome! Thank you so much, again, for devoting your time to me here. You have really helped me, more than I can express in words, and I truly appreciate it!!!😊

 

Aw I'm glad it helped or clicked

 

For transmasculine, I know what you mean with some definitions talking about masculinity, and it's unfortunate that it has a lot of variance, and some did write it that way, but in general the definitions I used mean it in terms of masculine genders, since it's an umbrella label for 'masculine identities', which includes all identities with male featuring the most as well, so trans men and more strongly identifying as male, all the way to demi guys, and more.

With the definition I used in the gender wiki, it kinda shows that it's not just about gender expression, though some definitions do feature masculinity more.

"Transmasculine can also be used as a gender identity in its own right. Although they have masculine gender identities, transmasculine people may prefer not to conform to stereotypical masculine gender expression or gender roles and may not try to appear more masculine. "

https://gender.fandom.com/wiki/Transmasculine

 

It's kind of the same thing with transfeminine on the other side, and why I could technically use that for myself when I'm talking to someone who knows a little about gender identities. I don't know. Sometimes I prefer just to only say 'I'm trans' .

[Rosendust]

Spoiler

Am I in the wrong for identifying as Demigirl when I prefer They/Them pronouns? I still like my femininity, I just don't like it when people assume my pronouns.

 

[Sarah-Sylvia]

39 minutes ago, Rosendust said:

  Reveal hidden contents

Am I in the wrong for identifying as Demigirl when I prefer They/Them pronouns? I still like my femininity, I just don't like it when people assume my pronouns.

 

Absolutely ok ;D.

And demigender is pretty non-binary. But even then they/them being gender-neutral is very helpful for a lot of people.

[Blue eyes white dragon]

So I feel like genderqueer or some type of fluid gender fits me very well and makes make comfortable even when I feel genderless or more masc leaning or anything else. But then there are times I feel like my agab to an extent or I feel more fem leaning and then that makes me feel like I was faking everything else..

[Sarah-Sylvia]

@Blue eyes white dragonfeelings are weird. Can relate, even if not exactly. And I'm sure there's others in the trans community that can in different ways.

[Guest]

This thread used to have daily activity. 

 

I havn't posted in a long time though. more than four years. so it's been a while. 

 

I just wanted to kind of celebrate this bra I got today. It isn't perfect, but it works, and it supports my boobs very well, and the faboric is very comfortable, and I'm just feeling very satisfied. 

 

I wish there was a bra seller that sold bras to trans women.

[Guest]

So at this point I think I'm gonna be getting surgery, because like 1/3 of my depression is because I feel like I can't be a woman, and then dysphoria regarding that. So like... Trying to plan for and eventually do things that allow me to be (and more importantly, feel like) a woman honestly makes me happy and gives me something I am looking forward to in life. And in order to do this, I need money, which is giving me a reason to care about getting a career. Like, ever since Sunday, I've felt a lot less miserable, and frequently happy. It's really something I'm paying attention to. I think at this point it's clear that doing what I can to feel like a woman is like, the most important thing in my life. 

[Captain_Tass]

Yo, I'm drunk and decided to buy transtape, has anyone had experience wih that?

[daveb]

3 hours ago, Life Of Tass said:

Yo, I'm drunk and decided to buy transtape, has anyone had experience wih that?

No, I've never been drunk.  

 

(but seriously, no experience with transtape - I assume it's for binding?)

[Captain_Tass]

6 hours ago, daveb said:

(but seriously, no experience with transtape - I assume it's for binding?)

Yep! It's like, a binder alternative. It's body-safe tape (made specifically for the chest area, unlike KT tape) that you wear on your chest for 3 days, and it's waterproof so you can take a shower or go for a swim with it!

 

Might even be a good choice for people who have asthma or simply dislike the compression of a binder.

 

(Can you tell that I watched about 30 videos of people using it and explaining what it is? 😂)

[iff]

I am happy, I bought some feminine clothing online and was worried about sizes. They came today and fit very well.

[Broken Doll]

4 hours ago, Life Of Tass said:

Yep! It's like, a binder alternative. It's body-safe tape (made specifically for the chest area, unlike KT tape) that you wear on your chest for 3 days, and it's waterproof so you can take a shower or go for a swim with it!

 

Might even be a good choice for people who have asthma or simply dislike the compression of a binder.

 

(Can you tell that I watched about 30 videos of people using it and explaining what it is? 😂)

I have asthma and had no bad experiences with a binder breathing wise. You can get them as a top so your stomach won't get pressed down if it's uncomfortable. Um.. I heard tape could cause damage if you don't do it the right way. Idk if it's true, tho. 

 

excuse my english I'm a bit tired