Thumbelina Posted July 1, 2013 Share Posted July 1, 2013 Omg, that's terrible! Only less than 30% don't have a libido and physical desire for sexual pleasure! I'm like endangered species, I knew there was something wrong with me! I don't think ~30% is *that* few. After all, you'll find someone sharing your experience once in every 3-4 people on AVEN. :) Compare that to one in every 200-300 folks out there "in the wild", it should put things back into perspective. I love the joyful piece of cake at the end. XD Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Silencer Posted July 8, 2013 Share Posted July 8, 2013 Why then I say that I like people like *Marina* or other members, I'm accused by moderators or some other members for sexual elitism, why's that ? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Silencer Posted July 9, 2013 Share Posted July 9, 2013 I prefer my friends over others, this doesn't mean I'm a racist. So I'm admiring nonlibidoist asexuals which don't have sexual thoughts, what's wrong with that ? What good are having sexual attraction and libido for individuals who don't want sex at all? Actually it's not good at all, it's only a burden, an instinct, that's all, better then you don't feel it at all. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Member54880 Posted July 10, 2013 Share Posted July 10, 2013 x Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Silencer Posted July 11, 2013 Share Posted July 11, 2013 Would be good to see a response from those who accused me of asexual elitism... a huge burden at worst, a betrayal by one's own body. Yes, that's true. A fight with your own body and mind. Thanks for the link, I'll post something there. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
shockkkk Posted July 11, 2013 Share Posted July 11, 2013 That was a rhetorical question I asked. I know that having attraction and libido are at best annoying for those who don't want sex, and a huge burden at worst, a betrayal by one's own body. If you're not asexual, is that what you feel personally? :( If you're willing, would you like to share your experiences here?: http://www.asexuality.org/en/topic/87393-voluntary-celibacy-support-thread/ It's a thread I made to support those who chose to never have sex, or chose to give it up for life. Disagree completely. I don't want sex, but have an attraction and a libido. It is not a betrayal of my body, it is not annoying, I like it. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
C.F.L. Posted July 15, 2013 Share Posted July 15, 2013 Omg, that's terrible! Only less than 30% don't have a libido and physical desire for sexual pleasure! I'm like endangered species, I knew there was something wrong with me! I don't think ~30% is *that* few. After all, you'll find someone sharing your experience once in every 3-4 people on AVEN. :) Compare that to one in every 200-300 folks out there "in the wild", it should put things back into perspective. Yeah, I thought it would be a lot more too; but 30% is not completely diminutive, I can live with that. I would have thought that most ace would be like me, having little to no libido, and almost never masturbates. But I guess there might be several different reasons why people end up in asexuality, and just one of them would be low to none desire/arousal. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Thumbelina Posted July 16, 2013 Share Posted July 16, 2013 I know....I somehow feel that it's just not the same thing...I mean, if I had a libido, I would definitely direct it at other people, I wouldn't be repulsed by sex...it's just...not the same thing, you know! I almost feel as if there should be another term for us....like asexuals and nonlibidoists....dunno....maybe in the future when this field develops more. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Silencer Posted July 17, 2013 Share Posted July 17, 2013 Yes, I think Marina is true. I also see this as totally different things. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
krislox Posted July 21, 2013 Share Posted July 21, 2013 that's a really good way of putting it OP i agree with it. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Amalgam Posted July 21, 2013 Share Posted July 21, 2013 Omg, that's terrible! Only less than 30% don't have a libido and physical desire for sexual pleasure! I'm like endangered species, I knew there was something wrong with me! I don't think ~30% is *that* few. After all, you'll find someone sharing your experience once in every 3-4 people on AVEN. :) Compare that to one in every 200-300 folks out there "in the wild", it should put things back into perspective. Yeah, I thought it would be a lot more too; but 30% is not completely diminutive, I can live with that. I would have thought that most ace would be like me, having little to no libido, and almost never masturbates. But I guess there might be several different reasons why people end up in asexuality, and just one of them would be low to none desire/arousal. I know....I somehow feel that it's just not the same thing...I mean, if I had a libido, I would definitely direct it at other people, I wouldn't be repulsed by sex...it's just...not the same thing, you know! I almost feel as if there should be another term for us....like asexuals and nonlibidoists....dunno....maybe in the future when this field develops more. Yes, I think Marina is true. I also see this as totally different things. Yeah, libido (the itch) and sexuality (the preference) and sexual behavior (the action) are all different things, but [insert prefix here] sexuality speaks to the preference. I feel that regardless of what you think you would do if you had a libido, you can't speak for those who do. It's not in the spirit of the OP to split hairs like this! A hunam who does not experience sexual attraction is asexual. It doesn't matter if you itch or not, if you scratch or not, or if how you scratch if you even want to. Asexuality is a label for the humans who don't experience sexual attraction and want to use that label. The end. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Thumbelina Posted July 23, 2013 Share Posted July 23, 2013 That was a rhetorical question I asked. I know that having attraction and libido are at best annoying for those who don't want sex, and a huge burden at worst, a betrayal by one's own body. If you're not asexual, is that what you feel personally? :( If you're willing, would you like to share your experiences here?: http://www.asexuality.org/en/topic/87393-voluntary-celibacy-support-thread/ It's a thread I made to support those who chose to never have sex, or chose to give it up for life. Such an interesting point! An asexual friend with a libido, here on AVEN, told me the same thing while I was whining to him about being so much different than other people here. He told me that he actually wished he didn't have a libido like me. He told me "Imagine if you didn't have one of your other natural needs, such as sleep for example. Wouldn't that be one burden off your back?" Are there any of you who would agree with my friend on this? Cause if there are, I have a question to ask. -If you were given the eternal energy and vigor and not having to sleep ever, you would lose the satisfaction of dreams and peace, but you would gain 8 hours a day to read more, see more, research more. -If you were given some other magic energy and not having to eat ever, you would lose the satisfaction of enjoying food, but you would be blessed with a naturally thin body and much more money (since you wouldn't have to spend it on food on a daily basis) -Now, I'm given not to have a libido. I don't have the satisfaction of sex, but what did I gain? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Silencer Posted July 23, 2013 Share Posted July 23, 2013 Witty, you put me in your quotes, but do note I have libido, and I'm not even an asexual, so this is not an excuse. Marina, I think this is just an excuse.. Some girl told that "I was arguing with my friend, I was telling her, that she needs to make sex! without it she can go insane or loose mental integrity", and dunno what other things she said... I looking at her, and didn't said nothing... I think she wasn't even 18 years old, and she was arguing that one must do sex in order to be healthy. Pfff, youth this day... One more thing, even it's true, for me it's better to go insane. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Member54880 Posted July 24, 2013 Share Posted July 24, 2013 x Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Philip027 Posted July 24, 2013 Share Posted July 24, 2013 Such an interesting point! An asexual friend with a libido, here on AVEN, told me the same thing while I was whining to him about being so much different than other people here. He told me that he actually wished he didn't have a libido like me. He told me "Imagine if you didn't have one of your other natural needs, such as sleep for example. Wouldn't that be one burden off your back?" Are there any of you who would agree with my friend on this? Cause if there are, I have a question to ask. YES. Eating and sleeping are just bothersome (yet necessary) chores to me. -If you were given the eternal energy and vigor and not having to sleep ever, you would lose the satisfaction of dreams and peace, but you would gain 8 hours a day to read more, see more, research more. -If you were given some other magic energy and not having to eat ever, you would lose the satisfaction of enjoying food, but you would be blessed with a naturally thin body and much more money (since you wouldn't have to spend it on food on a daily basis) -Now, I'm given not to have a libido. I don't have the satisfaction of sex, but what did I gain? Not that much, I would think. At least, not comparatively. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Beachwalker Posted July 24, 2013 Share Posted July 24, 2013 This is an Interesting discussion. I could easily cope with not having a drive to eat but I would definitely be sad if I lacked a drive/need for sleep. I love my bed and I love sleep. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted July 25, 2013 Share Posted July 25, 2013 An asexual friend with a libido, here on AVEN, told me the same thing while I was whining to him about being so much different than other people here. He told me that he actually wished he didn't have a libido like me. He told me "Imagine if you didn't have one of your other natural needs, such as sleep for example. Wouldn't that be one burden off your back?" Are there any of you who would agree with my friend on this? Cause if there are, I have a question to ask. -If you were given the eternal energy and vigor and not having to sleep ever, you would lose the satisfaction of dreams and peace, but you would gain 8 hours a day to read more, see more, research more. -If you were given some other magic energy and not having to eat ever, you would lose the satisfaction of enjoying food, but you would be blessed with a naturally thin body and much more money (since you wouldn't have to spend it on food on a daily basis) -Now, I'm given not to have a libido. I don't have the satisfaction of sex, but what did I gain? As for libido... yeah, I do kinda envy non-libidoists like you, too. If I had a means to kill my own off, I'd do so in a heartbeat. As for food - yup, if that could be rationalized away, I could see myself making that switch too. It's both cleaner and cheaper. :) As for sleep - no frickin' way. No sleep means no dreams... and even with the unpleasant and weird dreams (of which I have a rather hefty share, especially ever since going on SSRI), dreams are a topic that has fascinated me ever since I was a little kid of six or seven. I'd hate to lose that part of my mindlife, even if it meant, on average, seven more active hours per day. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Thumbelina Posted July 25, 2013 Share Posted July 25, 2013 Haha, none of you here is a porky like me. I love food above everything! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
VaVa ViLe Posted August 2, 2013 Share Posted August 2, 2013 Perfect!! ***Applause not withheld*** Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Philip027 Posted August 2, 2013 Share Posted August 2, 2013 Haha, none of you here is a porky like me. I love food above everything! Oh, I am, actually. I weigh 320. That being said, eating's still not something I *like* to do. I have a tendency to eat quickly and thus overeat, due to wanting to just get it over with. I also dislike wasting food (as in, discarding it) Quote Link to post Share on other sites
confusedbutsure Posted August 8, 2013 Share Posted August 8, 2013 this is a great post, thanks! I've wondered about my sexual orientation but never really fit into the labels that existed at that time, so I called myself asexual only because there was no other way to explain it. Having said that, I do think sexual orientation is fluid. It's not a straitjacket concept. Besides I think it restricts people to conform. If I am a gay man, then it does not preclude me from having some sort of attraction towards a female, but I will probably not act on it because I just can't. This is very much applicable to the spectrum of sexuality within the asexual community. From what I've read on this forum, not everyone fits into the typical definition of 'asexual'. A lot of asexual people may be attracted to other people, but just can't act on it because they may not feel the need to, or may act on it because of various different reasons. I think one of the key aspect distinguishing asexual people from sexual people may be that asexual people do not look at sex as an inherent nature of society/individuals, which is not to say that they don't have sexual desires or sexual attraction but sex is just something that may not come to us 'naturally'. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
That asexual guy Posted August 14, 2013 Share Posted August 14, 2013 I have noticed that the use if the word single on this site will bring a lot of people to immediately remind you that they are by no means single and a lot of people insisting on using a romantic-type label to describe themselves. Is that what asexual elitism is? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Member54880 Posted August 14, 2013 Share Posted August 14, 2013 x Quote Link to post Share on other sites
That asexual guy Posted August 14, 2013 Share Posted August 14, 2013 Thank you, Aqua-ace. I actually understood what you are talking about. I have noticed that the use if the word single on this site will bring a lot of people to immediately remind you that they are by no means single and a lot of people insisting on using a romantic-type label to describe themselves. Is that what asexual elitism is? No, asexual elitism says that:1. Behavior equals orientation, therefore a 'true asexual' is one who never had sex and does not have a libido.2. Asexuals as a whole are more advanced than non-asexuals, something about being 'more pure' because of not desiring sex.I'm not entirely sure what you're describing, but it's not asexual elitism. I know that some people don't make the distinction between 'single' and 'taken' because they don't believe in the concept of exclusive relationships. I wonder if that might be why.Some people here prefer to simply identify as asexual, while others prefer to be more precise and specify their romantic orientation. I specify that I reject sex first and foremost (and happen to be asexual), because I feel that has more of an impact in my life than my romantic orientation does. Are there people here pushing for everyone to specify their romantic orientation? That's something not everyone might be comfortable with, and some people are questioning. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
.Mari Posted August 27, 2013 Share Posted August 27, 2013 Huh, could've sworn that last time I was here AVEN was banning anyone who was sex negative or said they prefer asexuals over sexuals. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Vampyremage Posted August 30, 2013 Share Posted August 30, 2013 Huh, could've sworn that last time I was here AVEN was banning anyone who was sex negative or said they prefer asexuals over sexuals. Depending on circumstance and context those things are potentially bannable or at least warnable offenses. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Lia Posted September 2, 2013 Share Posted September 2, 2013 Huh, could've sworn that last time I was here AVEN was banning anyone who was sex negative or said they prefer asexuals over sexuals. "I prefer to have asexual friends as opposed to sexual friends" is very different from "All asexual people are better than sexual people and so I prefer asexual people as friends". Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest member25959 Posted September 2, 2013 Share Posted September 2, 2013 Huh, could've sworn that last time I was here AVEN was banning anyone who was sex negative or said they prefer asexuals over sexuals. You registered in 2012.... wh-... when did you last visit?? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
.Mari Posted September 2, 2013 Share Posted September 2, 2013 Huh, could've sworn that last time I was here AVEN was banning anyone who was sex negative or said they prefer asexuals over sexuals. You registered in 2012.... wh-... when did you last visit?? Had an account before that, don't know what happened to it. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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