Incredibly Ace Moments

[The Mechanic]

So, yesterday I had a friend over, which is kind of a big deal since that hasn't happened in a long time other than my zucchini, who I've known for like 12 years. Anyway, we played some Smash Bros and Hyrule Warriors, and my favorite character to play in the latter is Ghirahim, who is supposedly really sexy. I would put a picture in, but I am not technologically gifted and can't seem to figure it out. So my friend pointed out that Ghirahim "has a nice ass" (which you can see when he runs) with a teasing tone, the implication being I think that I like playing as him for this reason. I am definitely motivated to play as Ghirahim because of attraction to him, but the attraction is all aesthetic, romantic, and kinky. I never took any particular notice of his ass. So I just said I'd take his word for it, and then he thought about it and was like, "Oh yeah, right." I've told him I'm ace. So apparently I'm blinder to the sexual attractiveness of males than a straight guy. Also, as far as I know from my fanfiction/fanart browsing, I have the acest crush on Ghirahim in the whole internet.

That's like me when I play Super Smash Bros Brawl. My friends give me a hard time for playing using Zero Suit Samus, and I'm just like "So what if she's wearing a skin-tight suit, her agility and recovery are awesome!"

[Brigid]

So ace for me means that I have no want or need for anything remotely sexual, but I'm not repulsed. Just not interested whatsoever. But I do find people aesthetically pleasing, which does actually include boobs and butts (but it's not a sexual appreciation, I'm just like 'hey that is a nice looking body part, way to go, You look great!). And I actually enjoy and understand most sexual humor. Both my mom and sister have always been very open about stuff like this, and I've had friends all through middle school and high school who enjoyed sex jokes/discussions.

That being said, I've never dated anyone, due to being painfully awkward and not interested in what dating in HS and college has to offer. And now, in my second year of college, I share an apartment-like dorm with 5 other girls. One night, one of the girls, who I had chilled with before, was sitting with me in the living room area. She was on snapchat, communicating with some guy she'd met a couple nights ago. She shares his name on snapchat (which I'm not going to share because it was very explicit) and we both laugh. Then she starts talking about how her roommate is always in their room, so she never gets any 'alone time.' I was just like 'um okay.' Didn't yet realize that she meant 'alone time with a guy.'

Then she says, 'Haven't you wanted to hang out with a guy before? Like without your roommate there?' I understand pretty quickly that she meant sex. But instead of trying to bullshit my way through this, I just blurt out a deadpan 'NO.' It was really awkward for a second, then she just gives me this weird look and says 'oh. okay then.' Then she proceeded to tell me about how she had sex with some guy while her roommate was sleeping the other night. I couldn't stop laughing, because it was just so funny to me that she was trying to relate to a very non-sexual person this way. Anyways, the end.

(Also I've always known what netflix and chill meant, but I legit never understood it?? Like, watching tv and movies are one of my favorite things to do with friends, why the hell would you stop watching netflix for sex? If anything, watch the movie/show then have sex, or vise versa xD)

[Stargazer365]

I consider this moment to be the most amusing even though no one was around me. I'm quite confident in my asexual identity but it doesn't stop me from being curious if there's any man that could enchant me by simply being shirtless. I consider Benedict Cumberbatch to be my faviorite actor and I was watching a video about him where he ended up shirtless. I thought: "No!!!! Keep the tuxedo ON! You look much better in it!" Yeah and it just hit me: I want THE BENEDICT CUMBERBATCH to not take off his clothes. I mean so many people would kill to see him shirtless.

I just have to say, this was me just last night. Cumberbatch is my all time favorite actor. I could stare at him for hours. I watched a movie he was in where he had his shirt off. I was yelling at him to put his shirt back on. He looks so much better with clothes on.

[LunarEclipse*]

I walked into my room yesterday and my roommate, (who I'm not out to) had a new pair of gloves striped black, grey, white, and purple, and a package of ace bandages right next to them on her bed ...I nearly died laughing.

[nerdperson777]

My coach is a licensed massage therapist. Supposedly the sounds and reactions of the massaged is what they would do during sex. The guy being massaged at the time was told "dog in the street, banshee in the sheets", talking about year of the dog. I sought to prove that wrong, being a dog myself. Obviously I made no noises at all. Also I'm incredibly tolerant of pain inflicted upon me. So I have no sex sounds, or barely a reaction.

[Andiamo]

My friend is super stressed about having a ton of tests and essays this week. We were talking about it and she said something along the lines of "I am just too stressed right now to think straight, so I'm going to go to bed early tonight so I can wake up tomorrow and study and hopefully ace the test." She set me up so perfectly. I immediately looked right at her and replied with "You see, I never think straight but I always ace the test." She was laughing so hard that she curled up in a ball in the middle of the hallway.

I think I aced it.

[Luftschlosseule]

Across the street you can get asiatic massages and I always find it sad, when I am passing the building, that they have to put on the description of the offered services that no erotic is involved, that they only do massages. That makes me sad from an asexual point of view, that everything has to be about sex, but I see also a racist issue because this seems to only be a problem for asiatic massage and not other forms.

Just had to think about it while watching Bones, and Booth called the woman there a "happy-end masseuse".

[Naali]

^^Was thinking the same thing. Once, someone left a brochure about my city at my job and before tossing it I decided to look at it. On the back was advertisements for massages and every one of them was an Asian lady. All three pictured were in bikini's.

[Luftschlosseule]

Bones again.

Her working-partner Booth has a son and he asked in one episode every woman whether or not they have a boyfriend, because he thinks his father needs someone to "sex him up". Booth was worried and even spoke to the psychologist in residence at the FBI building. Well, yeah.
Bones simply asked Parker why he's so interested in getting a girlfriend for his father.

Apparently the dad of a friend just married, and now they have a pool which Parker's friend can use when he wants to, so Parker hopes that his own dad will marry someone with a pool, too.

"Why else would I care?"

So, guys, just because you think everything is about sex, even conversations with children, you're wrong.

(For anyone wanting to view this: Season 5 episode 4.)

[Lord of the nerds]

(the one with Nicolas Cage and the nerve gas and terrorist plot on Alcatraz)

The Rock? Fun fact: the movie actually portrays a (mostly) accurate reaction to cholinesterase inhibitor (the VX nerve gas is one)

when Nicolas Cage spills some on himself

A girl at my school was asked me if I had a date to the homecoming dance. My response was "No, besides, why would I waste time at such a silly thing." I just remember the confused stare of the girl (and the teacher who saw the whole thing) as I turn around to leave the classroom when the bell rang.

[Zash]

A girl at my school was asked me if I had a date to the homecoming dance. My response was "No, besides, why would I waste time at such a silly thing." I just remember the confused stare of the girl (and the teacher who saw the whole thing) as I turn around to leave the classroom when the bell rang.

I am willing to bet if you had just said you didn't have a date, she might have asked you to the dance. Or at least heavily implied she was available for the dance.

[Lord of the nerds]

A girl at my school was asked me if I had a date to the homecoming dance. My response was "No, besides, why would I waste time at such a silly thing." I just remember the confused stare of the girl (and the teacher who saw the whole thing) as I turn around to leave the classroom when the bell rang.

I am willing to bet if you had just said you didn't have a date, she might have asked you to the dance. Or at least heavily implied she was available for the dance.

I think that is why my teacher was staring at me like I was crazy.

In fact that was why I didn't just say no, I didn't the time nor the bravery to publicly explain that I am asexual.

[I'll read instead]

Also, elementary school: random guy asks a question if I am "straight" or "curved" (I now assume the latter was a synonym for gay), and says the question is regarding if I prefer men or women. I wondered if curved lines were more feminine, and straight lines more masculine. I said straight because my art style was boxy and angular, and straight lines represent the more direct route when not considering spacetime (or planetary) curvature. Yay for path of least resistance.

This reminds me when I started high school a guy asked me if I liked girls or guys, and my 13 year old self answered "Oh I like everyone! I'm friends with girls and guys!". At that point I didn't get what he meant, but now I think back to it and just face palm xD

[ContentedCentipede]

I spent some time in Europe with an artistic friend who knows I'm ace. We noticed within the first few days in one of the apartments we rented that everything was crooked - the walls were curvy or angled funny, the rooms were not square, the stove was slanted and the bookshelves were leaning, things didn't line up very well, and there were lots of old-timey quirks. We were putting some things up on the walls one day, and I thought I had hung the map in the right spot, so I stepped back to take a look. My roommate immediately complained, "It's not straight!" I was quick to respond: "So?! You're the only thing in this apartment that is!" The look on her face was priceless - she was mortified that I should say such a thing!

[Mychemicalqpr]

Last Thursday after English there was a conversation going on next to me between a guy I'm friends with and a girl I'm acquainted with that somehow ended up on the topic of flavored condoms, which I'd never heard of till now, by the way.

Guy: I don't see why people would need flavored condoms?

Me: I don't see why people need condoms at all.

Girl: You need them to be safe of course!

Sometimes I forget that most of the world doesn't get my "I'm ace" jokes.

[Homer]

The other day I walked past a shelf with a variety of condoms on it. I never realized how expensive they were! I saved a shitload of money :D

[Adam_Jensen]

I can only imagine how much money straight people spend just for condoms.

[Starfall]

Junior high band camp all the girls in my room were playing truth or dare. Somehow, we all got dared to go into the room of girls next door and do some 'sexually suggestive stuff'. At about that time, I realized I was thoroughly exhausted and went immediately to bed.

[Icelime]

Junior high band camp all the girls in my room were playing truth or dare. Somehow, we all got dared to go into the room of girls next door and do some 'sexually suggestive stuff'. At about that time, I realized I was thoroughly exhausted and went immediately to bed.

lmao Starfall :lol:

[Luftschlosseule]

There are also condoms with special textures. Here in Germany there are usually available where you pay in supermarkets, next to cigarettes, for "Oh, yes, good that I see them, I totally forgot about buying some!", so I know what kinds there are. I am curious about the different flavors, but I will only buy them if I need them. I heard that a condom is a good waterproof bag for your phone, and you can always use them as balloons.

So, I am the person that enjoys talking about diy including condoms because finally I feel like I may need them some day and enjoy crafting. :D

Another ace moment occured as I researched vaginismus and wondered why a kind of therapy would be necessary, until I remembered that not the whole world is ace. I just thought that it could be easy to avoid the pain - well, it is for me.

[Forest Spirit]

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Edited September 3, 2021 by Quasar.w

[Juno_L]

I was surfing the web and found that this book exists:

My first thought was: well that's an easy decision! Then I wondered if it was an ace reference (it's not). Then I was surprised that this is a real book.

[borkfork]

I was surfing the web and found that this book exists:

My first thought was: well that's an easy decision! Then I wondered if it was an ace reference (it's not). Then I was surprised that this is a real book.

Nice touch that both the hooker and the cake are wearing pink.

[UncommonNonsense]

During Frosh Week at my university (the week before classes start when freshmen arrive before everyone else and it's a mix of orientations and parties), we were all given big gift bags full of stuff we'd find useful during the upcoming year. In amidst the canvas laundry bag, assorted pens, school handbook, the instructions to get set up on the university's email server and dial up internet (this was 1996), t-shirts, and other stuff were about 25 condoms.

I didn't know I was ace back then... or aro... or agender. I considered myself a hetero-by-default girl-ish critter who just had no interest in sex at all and had a very low tolerance for trite BS in relationships. Condoms just were not something I would ever find useful. I gave a bunch of them to a closeted gay male friend when I came back home for a weekend, but the rest of them ended up being used as makeshift water balloons, launched from the window of a new friend's third floor dorm window at unsuspecting passers-by below.

I suspect that I was partly behind the administrators' decision to give out only a few condoms per gift bag in future years, rather than the 25 or so we'd gotten. No one needs 25 condoms in their first week of school. That was just asking for trouble.

[- - -]

dont think this even counts and im not even ace but...

i hadnt bought sausages for a while, the shops i had been to didnt have cumberland ones. yesterday i did get some. when i was texting my mam i wrote "finally got some sausage" then realised how that must sound so deleted it. im glad i noticed before i sent it haha

[emma-can]

TFW someone gives you the advice of "don't have unprotected sex" and your first impulse is to say "you really don't have to worry about that for me"

[UndeadWeapon]

Not sure if this counts, but when I was younger I read a question in a magazine that was basically asking which was better out of chocolate or sex. Not being too fond of chocolate myself, I thought if they're comparing it to that, sex really must be the dullest thing on earth.

[Kamkyo]

I was at work the other day and we were facing up the aisles. The guy working next to me put some Brazil nuts back in the right spot then told me about how if you are allergic to Brazil nuts and you have sex with someone who has eaten them recently it can cause a reaction... except the explanation was a little more awkward. I almost reflex replied with 'Good thing I don't have to worry about either part of that situation!' But then I remembered I don't really want to be out at work yet.

[Dodecahedron314]

A friend, while sitting outside and drawing a random building on campus: "There, this building is getting sexy."

Me: "That...was not a sentence I expected to hear today."

(The humor of the situation is augmented by the fact that the friend who said this is also ace.)

[TooYoungToKnow]

Definitely TMI:

I didn't know I was asexual when I was 14, but one time when I was masturbating (I do it to relieve stress :lol:) I forced myself to make up some sexual fantasies about my crush – I heard that's what many people do to... um... speed things up. As much as I find him aesthetically attractive, thinking of him in that way just used too much brain power and didn't help with my mood at all. I probably should've started suspecting that I was asexual.