Well, I guess I'm a fetsexual, are you one too?

[m8476]

Fetsexual:  Individuals who primarily derive sexual pleasure and fulfillment from engaging in or exploring various fetishes, either alone or with a partner.  These individuals experience sexual attraction, but are indifferent/averse to intercourse, instead focusing on the realm of sexual fetishes as a means of expression and gratification.

 

The specific term "fetsexual" combines elements of fetish and asexual identities.

What differentiates a fetsexual from an asexual fetishist?  "Asexual fetishists" typically do not experience sexual attraction or have a limited or absent desire for sexual activity, whereas a "fetisexual" does experience sexual attraction; And while being indifferent/averse to intercourse, instead, a "fetsexual" has desire for sexual activity revolving around their fetishes.

 

Due to the lack of an existing label that accurately represents my sexuality, I have taken the initiative to create a personalized label that I believe best defines who I am. My intention is to create a sense of identification and inclusivity for others who share similar sexual preferences and interests. It is my hope that those who resonate with this label will find comfort and acceptance in adopting it as well.

 

 

EDIT (22 May 2023  15:04 GMT)

I updated the definition of "fetsexual" to be individuals who experience sexual attraction; And changed "aversion to conventional sex" to " indifferent/averse to intercourse." I made these amendments to differentiate the meaning of the label from "asexual fetishists" and "aspecs," keeping the definition descriptive of my own personal sexuality while trying not to be too exclusionary, allowing for the creation of a larger community.

 

[Sarah-Sylvia]

Warning:  people who search for the term, you'll likely just find porn.

I kinda wonder where you found the label? Either way it could make sense for what you talked about for your sexuality.

[m8476]

2 minutes ago, Sarah-Sylvia said:

Warning:  people who search for the term, you'll likely just find porn.

I kinda wonder where you found the label? Either way it could make sense for what you talked about for your sexuality.

You can indeed google fetsex and find porn but there are no results on google for fetsexual.

[Sarah-Sylvia]

5 minutes ago, m8476 said:

You can indeed google fetsex and find porn but their are no results on google for fetsexual.

Yeah I guess it does redirect to that. (and unfortunately)

But it's not bad to create a label since it does matter to you in your sexuality, especially since there doesn't seem to be any for that.

[m8476]

8 minutes ago, Sarah-Sylvia said:

Yeah I guess it does redirect to that. (and unfortunately)

I just googled fetsex and the top result was this thread.  Can you  please google also to see if you get the same results? 

EDIT: Sorry I googled: "What is fetsex".  Googling fetsex alone still brings up porn content.

[Sarah-Sylvia]

@m8476I was checking online, and I found a few people talking about a very close word to yours, Fetisexual. It has no official wiki entry anywhere, and I can't really find much info, but it's interesting that there's some people who've been using that label, though I'm not sure fully how they're using it xD.

 

5 minutes ago, m8476 said:

I just googled fetsex and the top result was this thread.  Can you  please google also to see if you get the same results? 

It probably gives you that because you've been on this page multiple times. It wouldn't give that result unless it's more popular

 

Edit: Searching with quotes does get the result, actually there's only 3 restults total which is impressive)

[TormentDubz]

If you have safe search on it probably filters out

[m8476]

Out of curiousity what is fetsex anyway? I find no definition on Google?

[m8476]

6 minutes ago, Sarah-Sylvia said:

@m8476I was checking online, and I found a few people talking about a very close word to yours, Fetisexual. It has no official wiki entry anywhere, and I can't really find much info, but it's interesting that there's some people who've been using that label, though I'm not sure fully how they're using it xD.

That's very interesting, I'm curious what they were using this term to mean. 

[Sarah-Sylvia]

9 minutes ago, m8476 said:

Out of curiousity what is fetsex anyway? I find no definition on Google?

I dunno, I just saw porn tags with it.

 

6 minutes ago, m8476 said:

That's very interesting, I'm curious what they were using this term to mean. 

I only found 2 that said something with the word (2 different places unrelated):
"Fetisexual: You only like people who fulfill your fetish, you picky [redacted]. Lol!"
"Um. Fetisexual?  
I’m functionally asexual when it comes to sexual intercourse, but I can still experience sexual gratification through my fetishes."

That's all I could find that had a bit more to it xD

[m8476]

16 minutes ago, Sarah-Sylvia said:

Edit: Searching with quotes does get the result, actually there's only 3 restults total which is impressive)

Really?, what did you search? fetsex? are you sure it's not because you have this thread open in a tab or something?

[Sarah-Sylvia]

2 minutes ago, m8476 said:

Really?, what did you search? fetsex? are you sure it's not because you have this thread open in a tab or something?

No, I searched for fetsexual.
If you use quotes, it makes it so that you "only" get the full word. And the internet only has a couple of sites with the exact word I guess xD.

[m8476]

Just now, Sarah-Sylvia said:

No, I searched for fetsexual.
If you use use quotes, it makes it so that you 'only' get the full word. And the internet only has a couple of sites with the exact word I guess xD.

Wow that was fast, I guess I feel happy, though who's going to search fetsexual with quotes? 😛

[Sarah-Sylvia]

Just now, m8476 said:

Wow that was fast, I guess I feel happy, though who's going to search fetsexual with quotes? 😛

Probably no one xD.
Though using quotes is common knowledge to get exact results. If someone out there is trying words, i guess there's a very very low chance someone could find the thread xD.
More likely is someone stumbles on aven looking for something around fetishes and find the thread

[m8476]

1 minute ago, Sarah-Sylvia said:

using quotes is common knowledge to get exact results

Yes I'm aware of the quotes thing but rarely use it myself. 

[Sarah-Sylvia]

3 minutes ago, m8476 said:

Yes I'm aware of the quotes thing but rarely use it myself. 

kk.
I will say, I hadn't tried finding a thread just created, I didn't think google archived so fast, even if having to search almost specifically.
I'm off topic, but anyway, hope the label is useful. Maybe someday you'll feel like adding it to a wiki somewhere. (there's some anyone can add new terms to)

[Ceebs]

1 hour ago, m8476 said:

The specific term "fetsexual" combines elements of fetish and asexual identities.

I feel like you could probably just use the term 'asexual fetishist' and people might understand what you meant more easily (as long as they knew that asexuality and having fetishes weren't incompatible).

[m8476]

9 minutes ago, Sarah-Sylvia said:

Maybe someday you'll feel like adding it to a wiki somewhere. (there's some anyone can add new terms to)

If there was a large enough community of likeminded fetsexuals, that would certainly be an option, and something I would like to do. 

[m8476]

On 5/16/2023 at 4:10 AM, Ceebs said:

I feel like you could probably just use the term 'asexual fetishist' and people might understand what you meant more easily (as long as they knew that asexuality and having fetishes weren't incompatible).

I prefer concise, one-word labels and find the term "asexual fetishist" less appealing compared to terms like "fetsexual" or "asexual."  Also, "Asexual fetishists" typically do not experience sexual attraction or have a limited or absent desire for sexual activity, whereas a "fetisexual" does experience sexual attraction and has a desire for nonconventional sexual activity revolving around their fetishes.

[Ceebs]

Fair enough. You'll have to do a bit more explaining I imagine, but if you don't mind that... 🤷🏼‍♀️

[m8476]

18 hours ago, Ceebs said:

Fair enough. You'll have to do a bit more explaining I imagine, but if you don't mind that... 🤷🏼‍♀️

 

Indeed, it is likely that a significant portion of the global population may not be familiar with the concepts of asexuality or graysexuality, requiring explanations to understand them. Even for individuals who have been exposed to these terms, it is not uncommon to occasionally search for their definitions to refresh their memory and better comprehend their meanings. Therefore I don't feel that the experience of having to explain the meaning of "fetsexual" will be much different to if I identified with what you may consider one of the more common labels such as "asexual", as most people require some form of explination either way.

[Reindeer]

4 hours ago, m8476 said:

Fetsexual:

 

This label aims to capture the idea of someone who is primarily interested in indulging in sexual fetishes with a partner despite not having interest in conventional sex. The specific term "fetsexual" combines elements of fetish and asexual identities.

 

Due to the lack of an existing label that accurately represents my sexuality, I have taken the initiative to create a personalized label that I believe best defines who I am. My intention is to create a sense of identification and inclusivity for others who share similar sexual preferences and interests. It is my hope that those who resonate with this label will find comfort and acceptance in adopting it as well.

Oh, thats me. 

Is this an official term now? Cause I might start using it. I feel like a label would be helpful. People keep correcting me when I say im a kinky asexual and its annoying trying to break it down all the time. 

[Reindeer]

5 hours ago, Sarah-Sylvia said:

Warning:  people who search for the term, you'll likely just find porn.

I kinda wonder where you found the label? Either way it could make sense for what you talked about for your sexuality.

Wait this is a OFFICIAL TERM? 

[m8476]

4 hours ago, Reindeer said:

Oh, thats me. 

Is this an official term now? Cause I might start using it. I feel like a label would be helpful. People keep correcting me when I say im a kinky asexual and its annoying trying to break it down all the time. 

Hey there, my friend! I'm thrilled to hear that the term "fetsexual" resonates with you. While it's still a relatively new concept and hasn't gained official recognition on this forum or any major Wikipedia pages just yet, I would be overjoyed if you chose to embrace this label, just like I have. If a significant number of people adopt this term, it has the potential to become the official designation.

 

If it's alright with you, I'd love to include you in the list of individuals who consider themselves fetsexuals on this forum. It would be immensely helpful for others who identify with this sexuality to know they're not alone and to connect with like-minded individuals more easily. Let me know if you're comfortable with that!

[bare_trees]

Not trying to be difficult, but just wanting to understand better, just in general and as a nonsexual/ace cardiophile who's quite the outcast in that community.  What's the difference between mainstream sexuality (I guess), and sexuality wherein you share fetishes primarily with someone else, whether or not there's intercourse involved?  If it's partnered sexual activity, isn't that just part of sexuality in general or no?

[m8476]

37 minutes ago, bare_trees said:

Not trying to be difficult, but just wanting to understand better, just in general and as a nonsexual/ace cardiophile who's quite the outcast in that community.  What's the difference between mainstream sexuality (I guess), and sexuality wherein you share fetishes primarily with someone else, whether or not there's intercourse involved?  If it's partnered sexual activity, isn't that just part of sexuality in general or no?

I appreciate your curiosity and your desire to better understand.

 

Mainstream sexuality refers to the sexual orientation and behaviors that are generally considered socially accepted or common in a particular culture or society. It often includes attractions and behaviors that align with traditional societal norms, such as being sexually attracted to individuals of the opposite gender, engaging in sexual activities considered "typical" or "conventional," and NOT having any fetishes or uncommon preferences.

 

Yes, partnered sexual activity can be part of one's overall sexuality, but it doesn't encompass the entirety of one's sexual identity. 

[bare_trees]

1 hour ago, m8476 said:

I appreciate your curiosity and your desire to better understand.

 

Mainstream sexuality refers to the sexual orientation and behaviors that are generally considered socially accepted or common in a particular culture or society. It often includes attractions and behaviors that align with traditional societal norms, such as being sexually attracted to individuals of the opposite gender, engaging in sexual activities considered "typical" or "conventional," and NOT having any fetishes or uncommon preferences.

 

Yes, partnered sexual activity can be part of one's overall sexuality, but it doesn't encompass the entirety of one's sexual identity. 

I guess I'd just been led to believe that fetishes were a normal extension of sexuality rather than a deviation with its own designation. The vast majority of the cardiophiles I encounter consider themselves sexual, even if their sexuality is completely wrapped up in cardiophilia. This could be for lack of more specific terminology; idk.

[Reindeer]

6 hours ago, m8476 said:

Hey there, my friend! I'm thrilled to hear that the term "fetsexual" resonates with you. While it's still a relatively new concept and hasn't gained official recognition on this forum or any major Wikipedia pages just yet, I would be overjoyed if you chose to embrace this label, just like I have. If a significant number of people adopt this term, it has the potential to become the official designation.

 

If it's alright with you, I'd love to include you in the list of individuals who consider themselves fetsexuals on this forum. It would be immensely helpful for others who identify with this sexuality to know they're not alone and to connect with like-minded individuals more easily. Let me know if you're comfortable with that!

Are you trying to write a paper or something and want to include my username as reference? 

[m8476]

55 minutes ago, Reindeer said:

Are you trying to write a paper or something and want to include my username as reference? 

Hey there! It's not actually a paper, but rather a list of forum members who share a common sexuality. I like to call it a "community directory." This list aims to highlight the shared sexual orientation or preference of the individuals on it.

 

In fact, I'm even thinking of adding a helpful link next to each person's name. These links would direct readers to forum threads where they can gain a deeper understanding of specific aspects of that persons sexuality. It's a fantastic opportunity to learn and connect!

 

 

[m8476]

On 5/16/2023 at 7:11 AM, Reindeer said:

Oh, thats me. 

Is this an official term now? Cause I might start using it. I feel like a label would be helpful. People keep correcting me when I say im a kinky asexual and its annoying trying to break it down all the time. 

I took the liberty of including your username in the fetsexual directory, as you have not been actively engaging with my previous posts on this thread.  This addition will be beneficial for readers who are exploring their own sexuality and seeking connections with others who share similar aspects.

 

To enhance the value of your listing in the directory, it would be helpful if you could provide a link to a post that describes your sexuality. This way, interested readers can gain a better understanding of your experiences and potentially find common ground.

 

However, if you would prefer not to be listed in the fetsexual directory, kindly inform me, and I will promptly remove your username from it. Your comfort and privacy are of utmost importance, and I want to ensure your wishes are respected.