Reindeer Posted September 10, 2022 Share Posted September 10, 2022 On 9/4/2022 at 3:59 AM, Black-purple-grey said: This is a question for the men of AVEN (although anyone of any gender or those without are welcome to share their views on this subject)... Men (of all sexualities), do you consider yourself romantic? Do you enjoy romance? By romance, I don't mean flowers and chocolates. I mean hand holding, cuddles, gestures of affection, expressing your feelings for your partner, appreciating the beauty of a sunset or a starry night sky, or enjoying a stroll in the park with your SO or maybe a candlelit dinner. Do you enjoy those romantic things? If so, have you ever been teased for it by friends, family, colleagues? Ever had negative comments about it? Because it's not "manly" and is more of a womans thing? Ever felt embarrassed by it? I'm wondering how many men out there, of any sexuality, are genuinely into romance and how they've been treated because of it, since it's widely regarded by society as a feminine interest. I've heard that it's a stigma of the western world, and in countries such as China and Japan romance is enjoyed by both men and women without the stigma. If you leave a reply could you also share what part of the world you're from? I'm just really curious about this. Women have a tendency to think there aren't any romantic men left in the world but I bet (and hope) that's a false opinion. Men may be more likely to suppress interest in romance or be shy about it due to gender stereotypes. I think I have a romantic sort of view point. I do believe I tend to romanticize a lot of things and phrase things like a knight in a storybook. I tend to be a noble rescuer type. Not because I want to win a princess but because I believe that is how everyone needs to be. I do enjoy taking others out but even that isn't a romantic gesture. It's I want to serve others and see others happy. Which often is taken with romantic context but it's devoid of any intentions of love, romance or lust. As I believe I am to be of service to others and my community at large. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted September 10, 2022 Share Posted September 10, 2022 22 hours ago, AspieAlly613 said: Yes, though I've had people say that what I'm looking for isn't romance because it's not sexually motivated. Romance in itself isn't sexually motivated though. At least that's my opinion. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Ceebs Posted September 11, 2022 Share Posted September 11, 2022 On 9/9/2022 at 4:37 AM, AspieAlly613 said: Yes, though I've had people say that what I'm looking for isn't romance because it's not sexually motivated. You describe yourself as heterosexual in your profile. Do your sexual and romantic feelings never intertwine? How are you even using the term 'sexually motivated'? It almost sounds like maybe you're saying 'I never do disingenuous romantic things simply to get laid'. Which... ok, great... but not doing that wouldn't automatically mean your sexual desires play zero role in your romantic actions. Are sex and romance really entirely disconnected for you somehow? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Ceebs Posted September 11, 2022 Share Posted September 11, 2022 [double post cos AVEN was being weird and not loading right] Quote Link to post Share on other sites
AspieAlly613 Posted September 11, 2022 Share Posted September 11, 2022 4 minutes ago, Ceebs said: Are sex and romance really entirely disconnected for you somehow? Approximately, yes. The sexual instincts are there, (I'm not sure I'd call them desires because I cognitively override them) but I never actually make any plans. I've never actually been romantically attracted to anyone, though I've felt feelings close enough to romance that I'm reasonably confident that I'm not aro. One case that I remember quite vividly from around ten years ago was when I was considering asking a particular girl out on a date. While we got along really well, the overlap in our interests didn't include any activities, just conversation topics. This meant that I couldn't even suggest a good first date, so I realized that a long-term romance probably wouldn't work. (How were we supposed to enjoy the rest of our lives together if I couldn't even suggest one evening of enjoyment.) I sometimes make the comparison between my approach to romance and someone on a diet who still thinks chocolate cake looks and tastes good. I've also sometimes used the personal motto "love is love, and lust is lust, and never the twain shall meet." Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Queerdo Posted September 12, 2022 Share Posted September 12, 2022 On 9/4/2022 at 6:59 AM, Black-purple-grey said: Men (of all sexualities), do you consider yourself romantic? Do you enjoy romance? By romance, I don't mean flowers and chocolates. I mean hand holding, cuddles, gestures of affection, expressing your feelings for your partner, appreciating the beauty of a sunset or a starry night sky, or enjoying a stroll in the park with your SO or maybe a candlelit dinner. Do you enjoy those romantic things? Not cis, but yes I can enjoy those things. I don't consider them inherently "romantic" or limited to SOs, and I don't see a big diff between "flowers and chocolate" and the other things you list. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.