----------- Posted December 14, 2003 Share Posted December 14, 2003 For all you CTers, this was in the Hartford Courant on Friday."Dear Annie: Is it possible for a man to be asexual? I mean having a virtually nonexisent libido. I like girls, but I'm not interested in them as bed partners, and I especially have no interest in cuddling or making out with any of them. (I'm not interested in men, either.)I'm 51 years old and always have felt this way. There has been no trauma in my life to send me on this course, no broken engagement, no sexual abuse or anything like that. It seems my libido has never existed. Apparently, I've missed out on something important. Is there anything I should do about it?-Small Town, USADear Small Town: For most people, cuddling, kissing and sex are wonderful, exciting and rewarding experiences. You might want to be checked out by a physician to see if your testosterone levels are unusually low, or if there is some other underlying medical problem. The doctor may reccomend medication, although any steps you take to recover your missing libido are entirelyup to you."Well now. Discuss. 2013 Mod Edit: One of the AVENites' reply-letters will be published by Annie's Mailbox in 2004 and discussed here. Link to post Share on other sites
Cate Perfect Posted December 14, 2003 Share Posted December 14, 2003 She didn't say, 'NO! Asexuals do NOT exist!', though she also didn't say, 'You're fine as you are. If you're comfortable with yourself then there's nothing to worry over.' Though that last line was close to it. He wrote in because he was bothered at least a little by his lack of libido and she offered sound advice. I approve. *sends out psychic vibes to Mr Small Town to find us here at AVEN* Cate Link to post Share on other sites
Jayann Posted December 14, 2003 Share Posted December 14, 2003 Well. That's interesting. And by "interesting," I naturally mean "annoying as all fuck." Wishing I had the guts to make a reply letter... Link to post Share on other sites
----------- Posted December 14, 2003 Author Share Posted December 14, 2003 She didn't say, 'NO! Asexuals do NOT exist!', though she also didn't say, 'You're fine as you are. If you're comfortable with yourself then there's nothing to worry over.' Though that last line was close to it. He wrote in because he was bothered at least a little by his lack of libido and she offered sound advice. I approve. *sends out psychic vibes to Mr Small Town to find us here at AVEN* Cate heh, I think I'm going to email her with this website. if any of you want to, she's at anniesmailbox@creators.com Link to post Share on other sites
----------- Posted December 14, 2003 Author Share Posted December 14, 2003 Well. That's interesting. And by "interesting," I naturally mean "annoying as all fuck."Wishing I had the guts to make a reply letter... I already did =D but it made me think of something... what if she takes this sight to be brainwashing people out of wanting sex? What if she thinks it's a bad thing? Link to post Share on other sites
Jayann Posted December 14, 2003 Share Posted December 14, 2003 Well, she may explore the site herself. I don't see how we can possibly give the impression that we're a site designed to push celibacy. I would direct people to the Information page, rather than just the main page, the forum. I think it's best to start people off with the info, then let them find their way to the opinions. Link to post Share on other sites
Live R Perfect Posted December 14, 2003 Share Posted December 14, 2003 This reminds me.... I came across a site early on this year where a Sexual Advisor was giving advice to people (and by that I mean mainly 13 year olds!) as they e-mailed her with their sexual dilemmas (mainly giving them instructions on how to give their b/fs a blow-job). Considering myself to be celibate at the time, I was interested to know what she'd have to say on the subject. So I set out my experiences and how I felt about everything to her and basically received a reply which said something along the lines of: 'All men are scared of commitment and this is what creates the male 'player'. The same fear is what is preventing you from having sexual relationships. You will probably not find a woman who wants anything to do with you because all women want sex in their relationships.' Well, I paraphrase, but that really was the gist of it. I thought that was really crap advice. I ought to go back there and tell her about this site. Link to post Share on other sites
Cate Perfect Posted December 14, 2003 Share Posted December 14, 2003 Well, Liverlicker, I for one am glad you thought she was full of it. If not you might not have found us here! And that would be a damn shame :D Cate Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted December 14, 2003 Share Posted December 14, 2003 The letter wasn't as good as it could have been, but at the same time, not as bad as it could have been. I give it a C+. And Liverlicker, if I meet one more person who thinks teenagers running rampant giving blowjobs is fine but mature people not having sex is not, heads will roll. Link to post Share on other sites
Live R Perfect Posted December 14, 2003 Share Posted December 14, 2003 Cate: Gee, thanks! I'm glad I found you lot too! Inanechild: Hear! Hear! Off with their heads!! :twisted: Link to post Share on other sites
aury Posted December 14, 2003 Share Posted December 14, 2003 i read annie's mailbox when i was in rhode isalnd. let me tell you, that is one dumb bitch. Link to post Share on other sites
gambit_boi Posted December 14, 2003 Share Posted December 14, 2003 what other stuff does she say? Link to post Share on other sites
----------- Posted December 14, 2003 Author Share Posted December 14, 2003 i read annie's mailbox when i was in rhode isalnd. let me tell you, that is one dumb bitch. two, actually =Þ Link to post Share on other sites
aury Posted December 14, 2003 Share Posted December 14, 2003 yeah, two. :? Link to post Share on other sites
Eta Carinae Posted December 14, 2003 Share Posted December 14, 2003 He said: "I'm 51 years old and always have felt this way. . . . It seems my libido has never existed." She said, emphasis mine: ". . . any steps you take to recover your missing libido are entirely up to you." Was she even paying attention to what he was actually saying? Link to post Share on other sites
----------- Posted December 15, 2003 Author Share Posted December 15, 2003 He said: "I'm 51 years old and always have felt this way. . . . It seems my libido has never existed."She said, emphasis mine: ". . . any steps you take to recover your missing libido are entirely up to you." Was she even paying attention to what he was actually saying? lol!! good point XD Link to post Share on other sites
VivreEstEsperer Posted December 15, 2003 Share Posted December 15, 2003 Argh! She might not have said they dont exist, but she told him he needed to see a dr and implied very strongly that there was something wrong with him, and I for one hate that. Good point, Inkburrow. This reminds me of the Savage column in the letter the person wrote, but at least she wasn't as cruel as Savage. Anyway, yeah, someone needs to write a letter to let her and him know of this site. Perhaps I will as well. If you see it published, please let us know. Kate Link to post Share on other sites
VivreEstEsperer Posted December 15, 2003 Share Posted December 15, 2003 I wrote her a letter... "This is in response to your answer to the man who wondered if it was possible to be asexual. You advised him to see a doctor and implied there was something wrong with him. However, it is indeed possible to be asexual, and at the Asexual Visibility and Education Network (AVEN), located at www.asexuality.org, we have over 600 members who feel no sexual attraction or libido whatsoever. I urge you to inform your reader of our community and save him the embarassment and pain of being told there is something wrong with him over and over again. -A Concerned Reader " I'm making a name for myself with this "A Concerned Reader" thing... Wouldn't it be cool if her mailbox was flooded with people telling her of the existence of asexuality? :) everyone, email her... Kate Link to post Share on other sites
Gorax Posted December 15, 2003 Share Posted December 15, 2003 although any steps you take to recover your missing libido are entirelyup to you." That part saved her reply. Well, some of it, considering the 'recover' thing :mrgreen: Link to post Share on other sites
VivreEstEsperer Posted December 20, 2003 Share Posted December 20, 2003 yeah, i think the recover part is key there. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted December 20, 2003 Share Posted December 20, 2003 I have had no faith in write-in advice columns ever since I read one (I think it was Dear Abby) where she told a woman to break off her engagement with her bisexual fiance, because "bisexuals will always leave you for the same sex." :x Link to post Share on other sites
mindlife Posted January 5, 2004 Share Posted January 5, 2004 I'm 51 years old and always have felt this way. This man is obviously asexual. I just don't understand why this giver of advice wishes to burden him with the perception that he is unwell. It's an outrage to compassion. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.