Teen Corner

[Carbon-12]

7 hours ago, Lencat said:

Hey guys, I was wondering what you all thought of ace rings?

 

I just got my first one today and I really like it, but I also know that probably nobody else in my life will understand the significance so it feels like it doesn't really matter 😞

Woo! Congrats on the ring!! I totally get the "it doesn't really matter" feeling, but hey - statistically, you're going to meet a fellow ace at some point in your life, and they'll see it :D. If I see someone with something black on their right hand, I'll usually take a closer look. Unfortunately, 98% of the time, it's on a different finger ^^' I'll admit, the middle finger is not really the coolest place to wear a ring but it's great as a unique community identifier. I'll probably get one once I'm in college, just so I can hopefully find other aces there, but I am a bit worried that it'll get annoying to have something extra on my hand. I figure I'll get used to it for the sake of ~potential friendship~ though :P.

[TrustTheCloak]

16 hours ago, Lencat said:

That's understandable 😅

I usually don't wear jewelry either coz I just end up fiddling with it, but I felt like this was something special.

I think it's a pretty cool idea. I had an ace ring a little while ago, but I lost it. For me, it was more a solidification of my identity than a sign to other people. I would look at the ring and feel this pride in being part of the community, and being more open about it by wearing the ring. It's not safe for me to do anything else, so the ring was my little pride flag in a way.

[calla :)]

On 2/8/2021 at 1:53 PM, Lencat said:

Hey guys, I was wondering what you all thought of ace rings?

 

I just got my first one today and I really like it, but I also know that probably nobody else in my life will understand the significance so it feels like it doesn't really matter 😞

i love em. i got one last week for my birthday (Y'ALL GOTTA BE CAREFUL WITH ONYX, THAT SHIT WILL BREAK ON THE SECOND DAY IF IT FALLS OUT OF YOUR POCKET NO I'M NOT SPEAKING FROM EXPERIENCE big sad) and it made me sooooooooooo happy and i showed my one irl ace friend and they were super excited for me too and it,,, it's a lovely experience and can help build irl ace community 10/10 recommend

[FireinaILP01]

On 2/8/2021 at 12:53 PM, Lencat said:

Hey guys, I was wondering what you all thought of ace rings?

 

I just got my first one today and I really like it, but I also know that probably nobody else in my life will understand the significance so it feels like it doesn't really matter 😞

I made my own mostly so I can remind myself that I'm not the only one that feels things the way I do. I also wear it so that if I come upon another ace, they can know they're not alone either. I'm also not out so it's a little reminder to myself that no one else outside the ace community will likely trace back too. But that's just me.

[Cinematic]

On 2/8/2021 at 6:53 PM, Lencat said:

Hey guys, I was wondering what you all thought of ace rings?

 

I just got my first one today and I really like it, but I also know that probably nobody else in my life will understand the significance so it feels like it doesn't really matter 😞

I started wearing one (made out of a twist tie, because I'm classy) a couple of weeks after I realised my aceness, and my sister was the only person in my family to notice it and ask what it meant. A few days later, I saw someone at school wearing one, and she also noticed mine. I think they are good for showing your asexuality to someone else in the know, without even having to say anything.

[LazyCheetah]

I've only recently started identifying strongly on the aroace spectrum, but I'm planning to get an ace and aro ring soon. Because I like the colors and why not lol. It feels nice to remember you belong in your own community too

Edited February 15, 2021 by LazyCheetah

[Aoede]

Does 19 still count as teen?

[Artemis42]

5 minutes ago, OceanForestandSky said:

Does 19 still count as teen?

In this case, I say yes, why not? Happy to have you here!

🍰

[Aoede]

Hello, so college freshman... So lots of relationships everywhere.. I've had one relationship.. sorta when I started suspecting I am ace( I'm definitely ace or barely demi)..but anyway. I'm a hopeless romantic and definitely ace, so trying to figure out the whole dating thing, I miss the sweet things like hugging someone special after a long day, cuddling on the couch during movies or reading a book, conversations that are more than friends, but I don't know how to go about that being ace.. what I have found for advice is either too "mature" aka finding long term or work world dating, or a little to young aka highschool scene.. I really want to just try dating but college is different from both..anyone have any input?

[Glacyyyy]

Hello, I'm a newbie here! I am an asian, 14-year-old girl and Idk how to navigate this website yet hihi. My parents think that I'm bluffing or I'm "just saying" I don't wanna be in relationship because I'm just a kid. But, I feel strongly about being an aro/ace. I've considered that I may be aceflux/aroflux since I am still kinda young, but I really feel like I fit in on that spectrum. Can I get any advice on how I can deal with people like my parents (I love them and they're not that toxic, it's just that I kinda feel misunderstood when they say that) whenever I open up about my gender identity?

Edited February 17, 2021 by Glacyyyy
I forgot to add smth

[Tiny Fermata]

9 hours ago, OceanForestandSky said:

Hello, so college freshman... So lots of relationships everywhere.. I've had one relationship.. sorta when I started suspecting I am ace( I'm definitely ace or barely demi)..but anyway. I'm a hopeless romantic and definitely ace, so trying to figure out the whole dating thing, I miss the sweet things like hugging someone special after a long day, cuddling on the couch during movies or reading a book, conversations that are more than friends, but I don't know how to go about that being ace.. what I have found for advice is either too "mature" aka finding long term or work world dating, or a little to young aka highschool scene.. I really want to just try dating but college is different from both..anyone have any input?

I can relate SOOO much to this. Well, I've never really been in a romantic relationship, but I've definitely had romantic feelings for people. I always had trouble with understanding what other people view as an act of romance. For example, when I've been watching a movie with someone, sitting really close and holding hands... I always saw that as very romantic, but apparently the other person just thought that we had a very strong connection as friends and that there would have to be something "more" in order for this to be romance. I guess this is where my asexuality has been very difficult for me, cause there's a limit to how far I'm willing to go. And at the same time I long for a romantic partner.

 

I don't think I have the best advice for you, since I'm struggling with the exact same thing. I really want to "find someone," but I don't know how. At least I want you to know that you're not alone with these feelings! Is there perhaps an LGBTQIA+ group at your collage? Or somewhere near the place you live? In a way, I've always felt more welcome in those types of communities and I suppose it's easier to be understood by people who have experienced similar things when it comes to questioning sexuality or gender identity. Maybe it would be easier to start there and see where it takes you? 

 

Oh and I'm also 19, by the way! I definitely think we're still teens  

 

//Tina

 

PS: I don't speak the best English, so I'm sorry for any mistakes I made!

[Scylactic]

8 hours ago, Glacyyyy said:

Hello, I'm a newbie here! I am an asian, 14-year-old girl and Idk how to navigate this website yet hihi. My parents think that I'm bluffing or I'm "just saying" I don't wanna be in relationship because I'm just a kid. But, I feel strongly about being an aro/ace. I've considered that I may be aceflux/aroflux since I am still kinda young, but I really feel like I fit in on that spectrum. Can I get any advice on how I can deal with people like my parents (I love them and they're not that toxic, it's just that I kinda feel misunderstood when they say that) whenever I open up about my gender identity?

Hello there, fellow Asian! Welcome to AVEN 🎂🧁!

 

I don't have much advice on how to deal with people who don't accept, though. I personally just don't talk about it, but you can show them this cite or other educational ones if you'd like to explain to your parents. (I kinda got the same treatment, too, but thankfully my parents don't really care if I end up in a relationship.)

[eeza17]

On 2/8/2021 at 1:53 PM, Lencat said:

Hey guys, I was wondering what you all thought of ace rings?

 

I just got my first one today and I really like it, but I also know that probably nobody else in my life will understand the significance so it feels like it doesn't really matter 😞

This: \/ I would say it would be a fun little secret that only I, and other aces would know about. 

On 2/8/2021 at 8:26 PM, LiveLaugh(Love?) said:

I made one for myself and wear it almost every day now. When I started wearing it I was super terrified that someone would ask me about it because I never wear jewelry. No one said anything though, which was a relief. 

 

I find it comforting to wear the ring as a reminder of my identity. As a bonus another ace person in real life might recognise it! Although the chances of that are probably small... It just helps me feel more connected to the ace community I guess. 

 

 

 

On 2/16/2021 at 7:33 PM, OceanForestandSky said:

Hello, so college freshman... So lots of relationships everywhere.. I've had one relationship.. sorta when I started suspecting I am ace( I'm definitely ace or barely demi)..but anyway. I'm a hopeless romantic and definitely ace, so trying to figure out the whole dating thing, I miss the sweet things like hugging someone special after a long day, cuddling on the couch during movies or reading a book, conversations that are more than friends, but I don't know how to go about that being ace.. what I have found for advice is either too "mature" aka finding long term or work world dating, or a little to young aka highschool scene.. I really want to just try dating but college is different from both..anyone have any input?

Don't know, but welcome!!🍰

On 2/17/2021 at 4:30 AM, Glacyyyy said:

Hello, I'm a newbie here! I am an asian, 14-year-old girl and Idk how to navigate this website yet hihi. My parents think that I'm bluffing or I'm "just saying" I don't wanna be in relationship because I'm just a kid. But, I feel strongly about being an aro/ace. I've considered that I may be aceflux/aroflux since I am still kinda young, but I really feel like I fit in on that spectrum. Can I get any advice on how I can deal with people like my parents (I love them and they're not that toxic, it's just that I kinda feel misunderstood when they say that) whenever I open up about my gender identity?

Welcome! I'm sorry about your parents....

For now their sublte aphobia shouldn't be such a problem. You can always say you're not ready for a relationship; until you learn how to explain it to them. 

[GuildedGoblin]

Hi, I was wondering if any one had any suggestions on how I could come across as less threatening. I am a very tall man that likes to wear black. I have been told on multiple occasions that I look like a pedafile and jack skeleington. 

[DuoRiver]

Heyy. Was just directed here from the welcome lounge so here I am.

I am a 15 year old ace/biromantic. Looking forward to hanging around here with everyone! 😁

If you want to know more just check my post before this, because I'm to lazy to redo all the info on there 🤷‍♂️.

[Artemis42]

14 minutes ago, DuoRiver said:

Heyy. Was just directed here from the welcome lounge so here I am.

I am a 15 year old ace/biromantic. Looking forward to hanging around here with everyone! 😁

If you want to know more just check my post before this, because I'm to lazy to redo all the info on there 🤷‍♂️.

Welcome!!

🍰

[Carbon-12]

3 hours ago, GuildedGoblin said:

Hi, I was wondering if any one had any suggestions on how I could come across as less threatening. I am a very tall man that likes to wear black. I have been told on multiple occasions that I look like a pedafile and jack skeleington. 

Aw man, just based off your appearance? That's uncalled for and it's definitely a problem with them, not you. But I do get it - even though it's not your fault, on a practical level, you still end up having to be the one to fix it. Granted, I'm not in anywhere near the same boat as you (I'm above average height for my ethnicity regardless of gender, but compared to the average American...10th percentile ._.) so hopefully someone with first-hand experience will come along and give some better suggestions. Just my two cents, though - even more so than stature or clothing color, a lot of what "threatening" looks like is body language. Maybe see if you have any habits of posture that just happen to fit that bill, and change them to appear more relaxed (ex release tension in shoulders, eyes, jaw, & lean back). Also, some people's resting face happens to be a frown, I dunno if you're one of them. I know mine is - I'm trying to fix it, not by fake-smiling or anything, just my adopting a more neutral appearance ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ (btw, huge fan of your use of the shruggiemoticon for the gender box ᗡ:) 

 

55 minutes ago, DuoRiver said:

Heyy. Was just directed here from the welcome lounge so here I am.

I am a 15 year old ace/biromantic. Looking forward to hanging around here with everyone! 😁

If you want to know more just check my post before this, because I'm to lazy to redo all the info on there 🤷‍♂️.

Hello, welcome to AVEN! I read your intro post - good to hear that your parents seem open-minded, shame that you're not able to find LGBT friends near you though! Does your school have a LGBT club or anything like that? And you probably have already done this, but get real familiar with all the pride flags + the ace ring - you'll spot one out there on someone's backpack/jacket eventually :）(Unless you're homeschooled...then you might be outta luck :|)

[WinnowSwan]

Hey y’all! I’m a 14 year old girl, and recently realized that I’m biromantic/ace. I haven’t told anybody yet, but I live in a state where it is VERY conservative and religious, which makes me worry about coming out, because I’m already an outsider due to not being religious. I have friends and family I know are accepting of the lgbtq+ community in general, although I’m unsure about some of them accepting asexuality as valid. Ace rings sound cool, and I’ll totally look into that. I think it’d be a cool way to start to come out without being obvious. I’m very shy, and I think that’s be a step in the right direction. Anyways, good to get to know you and ttyl! 

[Carbon-12]

@Em_the_Amoeba Howdy Em! Welcome to the club  I read your intro in the Welcome Lounge and parts of your story are similar to mine - I too was fourteen when I got a crush on a friend and realized I might not be hetero, though it took me a while to admit it ^^' Tough that your area isn't super accepting though, sorry to hear that. You likely know this already, but don't feel like you have to come out right away if you don't want to - the can of worms it'll open can be a pain to deal with! But also, I do remember that for me back then, I kind of wanted to tell someone, because I wanted to let my friends/family know this thing that's really important to me, you know? At any rate, my experience is so drastically different - I live in a truly astoundingly liberal area, even I'm shocked - but I think one thing that'll be constant is parents not believing asexuality. Of course, I don't know anything about your family dynamics! But if you're taking votes, I'd suggest coming out to a trusted sibling or best friend first - people our age might be a bit skeptical of asexuality but it'll probably be easier that parents. 

Ace rings are sick! Who knows, maybe a fellow ace will spot you in the wild. I hope you're able to find a community irl, it's great that you're making progress towards that!

[BlackMagpie15]

@Em_the_Amoebaand @Carbon-12Same I also got first crush on same gender at 14 but only told 1 person and I kind of don't understand sexual attraction like I sometimes feel like I love this person so much it hurts it just never goes that far and now I'm questioning my romantic attraction. Also i have never really worn jewelry for more than a day but the ring seems like something i would deffo like to try :))

[Raine.on.my.parade]

On 3/2/2021 at 11:29 PM, GuildedGoblin said:

Hi, I was wondering if any one had any suggestions on how I could come across as less threatening. I am a very tall man that likes to wear black. I have been told on multiple occasions that I look like a pedafile and jack skeleington. 

 

On 3/3/2021 at 3:06 AM, Carbon-12 said:

a lot of what "threatening" looks like is body language. Maybe see if you have any habits of posture that just happen to fit that bill, and change them to appear more relaxed (ex release tension in shoulders, eyes, jaw, & lean back). Also, some people's resting face happens to be a frown, I dunno if you're one of them

I agree with @Carbon-12. I'm just above average for a girl in my country (5' 7") which I think is tall in the States?? I deal with a similar issue though in regards to the whole dressing in black. I find that if I stand straighter and relax my shoulders I don't get as much flack. I'm lucky enough to be blessed with Resting Bitch Face so that adds to the 'scary/unapproachable look'. I do think that it's the way your body presents itself that makes you look a certain way. Definitely try changing your body language so you seem more at ease. Hope that helps!

[Bookworm2023]

Anyone have any ideas on how to come out as ace without just sitting down and saying, "Hey, I'm ace". I want to do something interesting for my family. I was thinking of doing a minecraft scavenger hunt, where they have to find different colors of wool, and then put them together into the ace pride flag, but not sure if that's really what I want to do. :) Just looking for inspiration.

[Tarelenion]

But like, why do coming out have to involve some spectacle?

[WinnowSwan]

@Tarelenion I agree, but I also think it can make it a little less stressful to do it in a fun way, or gradually introduce it.

I came out to my friends over text 2 days ago, and me being a really a person, completely screwed it up and made it awkward, however, it felt great to have finally done.

 

@Bookworm2023 I think that’s a good idea. You should do whatever you feel comfortable with.

 

I haven’t told my parents yet, and I might bake a cake and frost it with the flag, but I also might just write them a letter, or sit down and say it. 

[StarryEyedGirl]

18 hours ago, Tarelenion said:

But like, why do coming out have to involve some spectacle?

Kinda agree, but I think it depends on the circumstances people live in. I just came out in conversation to most of the people in my life.

[a little annihilation]

On 2/8/2021 at 10:53 AM, Lencat said:

Hey guys, I was wondering what you all thought of ace rings?

 

I just got my first one today and I really like it, but I also know that probably nobody else in my life will understand the significance so it feels like it doesn't really matter 😞

I have one! It's silicone, not my first choice, but my grandma ordered it for me and I had it in a few days so I can't really complain. I really like it though, it feels really special to me and even though I know prolly no one I know/ who sees my pictures on instagram will know what it means I still like to show it off because its like a piece of pride that can be worn anywhere! It makes me happy to see it too, I don't know it just feels special to me personally

[Carbon-12]

Oh, Bookworm2023's post reminded me - does anyone know if there's any asexual Minecraft servers out there? I've heard of general LGBT ones, so I've been wondering if an ace one exists. It'd sure be a fun way to meet 'n' vibe with fellow aces!

[Tarelenion]

On 3/5/2021 at 6:53 PM, WinnowSwan said:

@Tarelenion I agree, but I also think it can make it a little less stressful to do it in a fun way, or gradually introduce it.

I came out to my friends over text 2 days ago, and me being a really a person, completely screwed it up and made it awkward, however, it felt great to have finally done.

 

@Bookworm2023 I think that’s a good idea. You should do whatever you feel comfortable with.

 

I haven’t told my parents yet, and I might bake a cake and frost it with the flag, but I also might just write them a letter, or sit down and say it. 

okay.. (if somebody I know would blow up a car and throw a party and shoot around to tell me that he was gay or whatever, my first response would be "so what?" lol)

[AbbySaysHi]

On 3/10/2021 at 12:42 PM, Tarelenion said:

okay.. (if somebody I know would blow up a car and throw a party and shoot around to tell me that he was gay or whatever, my first response would be "so what?" lol)

The problem is that I’m out to my sister and she says it doesn’t matter but like doesn’t acknowledge that I’m ace at all when we have conversations. She actually makes fun of me sometimes and it’s alienating and she doesn’t realize what she’s doing. Like it matters a little that you respect the person coming out because it is a part of their identity that matters. 

[Cinematic]

11 hours ago, AbbySaysHi said:

The problem is that I’m out to my sister and she says it doesn’t matter but like doesn’t acknowledge that I’m ace at all when we have conversations. She actually makes fun of me sometimes and it’s alienating and she doesn’t realize what she’s doing. Like it matters a little that you respect the person coming out because it is a part of their identity that matters. 

My sister is like that too - one time we were talking about the Wizard of Oz and she said that I would be the Tin Man because ‘I have no heart.’ I think she meant it in a jokey way, but it felt a bit tone-deaf. On the few occasions when she does mention it, the joke is mostly about me being heartless/loveless.

(Also, I always thought I was more of the Scarecrow instead)