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Kink, BDSM, and Cake


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On 7/3/2017 at 9:51 AM, Alexandmb said:

What do you guys think about fetishes? I mean having a particular "devotion" for an specific part of the body (example: Hands, feet, booty, etc)

 

Do you have one?

I don't have a fetish, but I've always been partial to the abdomen. A bump beneath someone's stomach is so charming to me. That area is also nice to nestle into, haha.

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On 7/10/2017 at 5:08 PM, ChillaKilla said:

@swirl_of_blue

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I never realized how much I liked marking until I was putting concealer on my sub's neck

:lol: 

 

 

I might be a little more exhibitionist than previously aware of... I'm a HUGE fan of showing my risky conversations to anybody who wants to know (given I trust them) :P 

Ayy hook a homie up on insta 😂

I love hearing people's stories, everyone always apologizes for spilling their business to me or venting/gossiping or whatever when we talk, but 1. I LIVE for knowing about everyone's lives and 2. If you're worried about me telling, don't because I will forget it soon anyway and you can tell me all over again, lol.

 

I'm not an exhibitionist myself but I love the idea of giving subs tasks to do in public, or having them serve me in little ways when there are people around. I've yet to do anything outright sexual like that, but it's fun to think about. Good stuff!

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  • 2 weeks later...

I honestly have no interest in BDSM, but a huge respect to the community! However, I decided to still try to learn more about it, as the whole concept behind it is quite interesting to me, and figured there may even be some side to me I never knew about. So I decided to give the test a shot, and apparently these are my results. :lol:

 

== Results from bdsmtest.org == 
99% Vanilla 
59% Switch 
54% Rigger 
51% Owner 
48% Experimentalist 
42% Daddy/Mommy 
30% Master/Mistress 
30% Dominant 
11% Ageplayer 
6% Primal (Hunter) 
1% Exhibitionist 
1% Voyeur 
0% Degrader 
0% Sadist 
0% Non-monogamist 

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...Sorry! I don't know how to "spoiler" so I just deleted it. I'm sorry if I made anyone uncomfortable! That was not my goal at all! 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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J. van Deijck

^ this should probably be spoilered. :x

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2 hours ago, Lovelykat said:

...Sorry! I don't know how to "spoiler" so I just deleted it. I'm sorry if I made anyone uncomfortable! That was not my goal at all! 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

For spoilers, you type:

 

the word spoiler inside [ ] brackets (no spaces between bracket and the word)

 

Content

 

and /spoiler inside [ ] brackets (no space between the /spoiler and brackets) 

 

There is also a button to insert spoilers above the text box, it looks like an eye. 

 

You can also contact a moderator to do it for you, if you can't figure it out :)

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J. van Deijck
15 hours ago, Lovelykat said:

...Sorry! I don't know how to "spoiler" so I just deleted it. I'm sorry if I made anyone uncomfortable! That was not my goal at all! 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

don't be sorry, it's okay :3 you can now post it back, just spoilered. :3

 

I'm pretty sure a moderator could edit your posts for you if you had a problem with doing it :3

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ChillaKilla

We match now :wub:



654_FB518-1923-41_C1-_B5_A2-5_A5420_B0_E

(I covered his face because I didn't ask him if I could post it- my wrist on the right obviously ;))

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21 minutes ago, ChillaKilla said:

We match now :wub:

 

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654_FB518-1923-41_C1-_B5_A2-5_A5420_B0_E
 

 

 

(I covered his face because I didn't ask him if I could post it- my wrist on the right obviously ;))

Cute! Can I ask where you got each piece?

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ChillaKilla
6 minutes ago, kanihachi said:

Cute! Can I ask where you got each piece?

The're both from hot topic :') so edgy... :lol:

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I'm questioning myself... I used to think I was gay but I've never been into sex. But pain and stuff feels really nice??  I don't know if I'm Asexual but this thread has been an interesting read, and given me a lot to think about.

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WaffleGrace

I have a relationship related question for anyone who follows this thread. I haven't had that many relationships, and none since I realized there were parts of kink/ bdsm that I really liked, at least theoretically. I'm in the beginning stages of a new romantic relationship, and I'm wondering when to approach the topic of sex and kink.

 

I know it's really dependent on the relationship, but how soon should you let a potential partner know that you're Demi/ asexual and kinky? I've been talking to a guy that I think I could have a relationship with, and I'm probably going to tell him pretty soon that I'm some kind of ace. I'm not really "out" but it's not exactly a secret either. Should I rip the bandaid off all at once, and start the kink talk at the same time, so that if anything I say is a hard stop for him, neither of us are heartbroken about it? Or should I see how he reacts to the ace-card first? Are there relationship/ trust milestones I should look for first?

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People who dress like Fictional characters and pull it off well are my fetish.

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Mychemicalqpr
On 8/7/2017 at 1:49 PM, WaffleGrace said:

I have a relationship related question for anyone who follows this thread. I haven't had that many relationships, and none since I realized there were parts of kink/ bdsm that I really liked, at least theoretically. I'm in the beginning stages of a new romantic relationship, and I'm wondering when to approach the topic of sex and kink.

 

I know it's really dependent on the relationship, but how soon should you let a potential partner know that you're Demi/ asexual and kinky? I've been talking to a guy that I think I could have a relationship with, and I'm probably going to tell him pretty soon that I'm some kind of ace. I'm not really "out" but it's not exactly a secret either. Should I rip the bandaid off all at once, and start the kink talk at the same time, so that if anything I say is a hard stop for him, neither of us are heartbroken about it? Or should I see how he reacts to the ace-card first? Are there relationship/ trust milestones I should look for first?

While some disagree, I recommend informing a potential partner that you're ace spec upfront and explaining what that means you are or are not willing to do. I believe it's ethical that you should at least do so before agreeing to be committed or serious. If they say no to you because of your orientation, at least it happened sooner rather than later, and you can look for someone else. As for the kink, it depends on how important it is to you. If it's something that's going to make or break the deal for you, you don't want to spend time and feelings on something that might not work out. Really, anything that could make or break a relationship is best brought up at the start in my opinion. 

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Thank you @SorcerousJigglypuff! It turned out to be a non-issue. I stumbled across him on another site where we're both out for different things. He is shockingly cool with my version of being ace, and apparently our dynamics match up pretty well too (which was the part I was worried about. My public persona is more take charge than my private, so I wanted to make sure that the difference wouldn't be a problem on down the line). I'm kind of suspicious of how well it's going, actually.

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i have a fetish, ive been roleplaying it for about 4 years online with friends who share the same fetish, its hard to tell people about it, because its so embarrassing!!

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Personally I never understood the appeal to BDSM if I'm honest.

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Haven't thought or fantasized about this stuff for a while, but I have a thing for puppy play. Not in a "extreme" way, like wearing a dog suit publicly or acting like a pet 24/7 at someone's house, but I kinda enjoy playing around, following orders and receiving treats when behaving good. And I love collars! If I had (a discreet and not-too-showy) one, I wouldn't mind wearing it publicly when hanging out with friends just for fun.

Aside that, I think my BDSM Test Results taken 2 months ago reassume everything enough well eh

 

== Results from bdsmtest.org == 
100% Switch 
99% Brat 
77% Masochist 
75% Primal (Prey) 
75% Pet 
73% Rope bunny 
71% Degradee 
63% Submissive 
59% Degrader 
58% Sadist 
57% Primal (Hunter) 
56% Dominant 
55% Experimentalist 
48% Rigger 
48% Slave 
42% Daddy/Mommy 
33% Owner 
23% Vanilla 
17% Non-monogamist 
1% Master/Mistress 
1% Exhibitionist 
1% Voyeur 
1% Ageplayer 
0% Boy/Girl

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I have a question for anyone who is kinky and ace.

 

Would you say that you belong more to the ace community than to the kink community, or vice versa?  Would you say you belong fully to both of them, or not really to neither?

I am asking this because I feel like none of those groups would fully understand me. If I would date an ace, my kink probably wouldn't be accepted and a kinky person wouldn't accept the absence of sex. So wherever I go, full compatibility is very unlikely. Should I try dating an allosexual right away and hope for the best?

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54 minutes ago, viennaguy94 said:

I have a question for anyone who is kinky and ace.

 

Would you say that you belong more to the ace community than to the kink community, or vice versa?  Would you say you belong fully to both of them, or not really to neither?

I am asking this because I feel like none of those groups would fully understand me. If I would date an ace, my kink probably wouldn't be accepted and a kinky person wouldn't accept the absence of sex. So wherever I go, full compatibility is very unlikely. Should I try dating an allosexual right away and hope for the best?

Look for someone compatible, on both levels, forget the orientation, imo. I am with someone from AVEN and they have certain things they like and we both accept each other. And neither of us really chose a label to ID with. 

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1 hour ago, viennaguy94 said:

I have a question for anyone who is kinky and ace.

 

Would you say that you belong more to the ace community than to the kink community, or vice versa?  Would you say you belong fully to both of them, or not really to neither?

I am asking this because I feel like none of those groups would fully understand me. If I would date an ace, my kink probably wouldn't be accepted and a kinky person wouldn't accept the absence of sex. So wherever I go, full compatibility is very unlikely. Should I try dating an allosexual right away and hope for the best?

A friend of mine is fully asexual (no interest in any kind of sex) but he's extremely kinky. I've met quite a few aces like him here. You're better off making friends among kinky aces and hey something more may develop as has happened for quite a few asexuals in the past (on AVEN and in other places where asexuals congregate) ..I think that's better than just defaulting to dating sexuals if you know you're ace, in my opinion anyway.

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On 2017年8月22日 at 6:59 PM, viennaguy94 said:

I have a question for anyone who is kinky and ace.

 

Would you say that you belong more to the ace community than to the kink community, or vice versa?  Would you say you belong fully to both of them, or not really to neither?

I am asking this because I feel like none of those groups would fully understand me. If I would date an ace, my kink probably wouldn't be accepted and a kinky person wouldn't accept the absence of sex. So wherever I go, full compatibility is very unlikely. Should I try dating an allosexual right away and hope for the best?

im fully asexual, but im very kinky, and i definitely know how you feel, people always want sex after that stuff and i hate it! so many people are like that, but im sure you'll find that one who isn't, your best bet to find those people would probably be to go to a site focused on that special kink, thats how i met most of my rp partners, hope that helped >w<

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SolitarySocialite

I am Asexual. I like KINKY stuff. I joined a website for kinky people. I want to meet people who enjoy "everything but".

So what does that mean? That means, I may want to hug you. Give you a kiss. Put your hand on my breast. Grab your ass. Tie you up. While laying on top of you. Dressed in a lace catsuit. Does anyone else have these fantasies? 

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SolitarySocialite
On 8/22/2017 at 8:59 PM, FictoVore. said:

A friend of mine is fully asexual (no interest in any kind of sex) but he's extremely kinky. I've met quite a few aces like him here. You're better off making friends among kinky aces and hey something more may develop as has happened for quite a few asexuals in the past (on AVEN and in other places where asexuals congregate) ..I think that's better than just defaulting to dating sexuals if you know you're ace, in my opinion anyway.

I know how your friend feels. Every situation and person is different. Wherever you meet a potential partner, the best practice is to be honest.

Hi! I am an asexual kinkster. 

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I'm going to direct you to this lovely board: http://www.asexuality.org/en/topic/105805-kink-bdsm-and-cake/ .

 

Anyway, yes, yes I do; I've always been fascinated by S&M, sensation play, and bondage, but only recently have I looked into it. I'm too much of an anti-person right now to actually go meet people/munches (that and my city puts too much emphasis on sex in the first place so that puts me off), but I would love to one day and actually learn more hands on.

 

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45 minutes ago, Naali said:

Anyway, yes, yes I do; I've always been fascinated by S&M, sensation play, and bondage, but only recently have I looked into it. I'm too much of an anti-person right now to actually go meet people/munches (that and my city puts too much emphasis on sex in the first place so that puts me off), but I would love to one day and actually learn more hands on.

 

Same here!

And I have thought about joining a BDSM meeting or something like that a few times but I am also put off by the fact that it is probably very "sexual". Same with Fetlife... it is nice that there is a site where people share my interests, but in a way it's too much for me.

 

People there want to "play" but I'd prefer a good relationship as a basis for this stuff. Anyone feels the same?

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AsexualAnomaly

Heyy, my new home thread.~ Love the Kinky  Ace community. I think I still have my Test somewhere on here. Been to a few Munches, it's fun for sure, everyone I'v met in my local community is really supportive, understanding and is seemingly always willing to learn more about Aces. It's a pretty cool feeling. I even found a rigging mentor though that was about 2 years ago haha. 

Yup posted below.

A1QrzGQ.png

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God I have to get this out here - I sometimes write or read stuff with sex in it and it's just so boring and when I write it I need to think about it really hard because I only write it to explore their relationship and don't particularly care about where goes what... but now I resorted to writing about my kink and ohmyfuckinggod this is such a religious experience and now I think I get it why people do this.. does anyone else feels like this or engages with their kink that way?

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4 hours ago, Kelpie said:

God I have to get this out here - I sometimes write or read stuff with sex in it and it's just so boring and when I write it I need to think about it really hard because I only write it to explore their relationship and don't particularly care about where goes what... but now I resorted to writing about my kink and ohmyfuckinggod this is such a religious experience and now I think I get it why people do this.. does anyone else feels like this or engages with their kink that way?

Well for me it's not a "religious" experience, but it's veeery arousing to read kinky stories :D whereas reading about sex ... = meh

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