Guest Posted November 18, 2013 Share Posted November 18, 2013 You guess who it is. I went to Canale 5 today, for asexual visibility. :D The TV programme is Forum, which is essentially based on... eh... heated confrontation between two people, one of which sues the other for some reason. Frankly, I didn't really know how asexuality could fall into place for one such programme. However, I accepted to go there and see it for myself. They basically put up a story in which a girl, called Silvia, had been engaged to her boyfriend Luca for five years, and only figured out she was asexual two months before their marriage. She previously thought she was just wanting to save for marriage, due to religious reasons, but later realised it wasn't the case. So Luca sued her and asked to be refunded for the money he'd spent on the wedding prep. The full show is here (in Italian though, sorry about that) Long story short, the judge said the refund Luca asked for wasn't warranted because Silvia had been honest about her orientation and that the path to self-discovery doesn't take the same time for everyone, so she had nothing he could charge her with. Later into the interview, I actually spoke about asexuality and presented the symbols (flag, black ring, cake, and the four poker aces), contextualising them and explaining their meanings. There was a sexologist who also intervened and we had an exchange. Sadly I didn't get to talk about everything, but I've managed to cover the basis :) The public reception was great and I even met two people there, one of which told me she'd been identifying as asexual for 7-8 years without actually knowing it was a thing, and another one was a guy who was in doubt about being asexual or not, and asked me if it might have been he just hadn't found the right person. He was rather young, so I explained him the concept of demisexuality and said it was up to him to figure out the rest. And of course, I linked AVEN to both of them. Props all around ^_^ Link to post Share on other sites
ithaca Posted November 18, 2013 Share Posted November 18, 2013 *squees and fangirls* :aven: :aven: :aven: 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Lambda Corvus Posted November 18, 2013 Share Posted November 18, 2013 (Awe . some)! So much visibility work from you lately. Link to post Share on other sites
Robin L Posted November 18, 2013 Share Posted November 18, 2013 You're becoming somewhat of an asexual TV star. :D 1 Link to post Share on other sites
tommy92 Posted November 18, 2013 Share Posted November 18, 2013 Looks like our asexy celebrity did great again :lol: Link to post Share on other sites
ThaHoward Posted November 18, 2013 Share Posted November 18, 2013 That's great ^^ And with all the pocket coffee commercials I got, you better buy some :P Link to post Share on other sites
Human_001 Posted November 18, 2013 Share Posted November 18, 2013 Whoa, wait a minute. There was a guy who basically sued his fiance for not wanting to have sex with him? I mean, I get not marrying her. If the guy wants a heterosexual wife, I wish him all the best in finding one, but to sue the women he was so close to marrying? That's cold, dude. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
ithaca Posted November 18, 2013 Share Posted November 18, 2013 Whoa, wait a minute. There was a guy who basically sued his fiance for not wanting to have sex with him? I mean, I get not marrying her. If the guy wants a heterosexual wife, I wish him all the best in finding one, but to sue the women he was so close to marrying? That's cold, dude. No, the case (made up) was basically about the two being engaged for 5 years. He accepted that she wanted to wait until marriage, and she thought that was just how she was, nothing more. 2 months before the wedding, she realizes she's asexual, and tells him. But he doesn't accept her being asexual, cancels the wedding and asks for reimbursement of the money he's spent on the preparations thus far. This is a video of the verdict only: http://www.video.mediaset.it/video/forum/cause_curiosita/421467/sesso-no-grazie.html And this is the transcript I've just made: Article #81 of our Civil Code states that failed wedding celebration leads to a reimbursement of damage by the party who, without just cause, declines to proceed. - reimbursement of expenses and obligations had because of the promise (of marriage). Reimbursement will also have to be paid by the party who, being at fault, gave just cause to the refusal of the other. In our case, the most delicate aspect is the one concerning the investigation of the potential reasons that can justify a refusal to celebrate the wedding. Specifically, are considered relevant those facts which, if known to the spouse at the moment of the promises, would dissuade them from concluding the promises, maintaining fundamental their ignorance at the moment of the promises. Among just causes, throughout history, magistrates have included for example the later knowledge of a serious disease of the other, bankruptcy, the revelation of previous improper morals, infidelity, and even change in citizenship or religion. Overall, the examination of these cases seems to manifest the inclination for judges toward a criterion that, prescinding from any specific normative reference, leads the judge to make a decision of non-juridical characteristics, drawing out of the jurisprudence field, in the area of general ideas, most spread morals, applying to the concrete case the most common moral judgment. The biggest difficulty in investigating the causes behind a breakup, consists in entering matters where it's sometimes hard to delve with juridical tools, them being often very personal situations hardly linkable to concrete elements and facts susceptible of becoming evidence object. There are, however, some situations which, being able to influence the validity of marriage, can certainly and with reason justify a refusal to get married, despite the promise. It is, though, specific cases, as for example the discovery of a physical or psychological disease of the other, or of a legal conviction of varying severity. Therefore, said justification as reason to cancel the wedding exonerates the party from reimbursing damages in terms of expenses had due to the promise. When, instead, it's the one breaking the promise who's asking for reimbursement, it is necessary that the other party be at fault to give just cause to the refusal of – his, in this case. As soon as she becomes aware of her asexuality, Silvia tells Luca, without denying the sentiment at the basis of their relationship because of this. Silvia loves Luca, but she discovered that she doesn't have any sexual desire [lucky her!]. This lack of desire is not, however, attributable to her relationship with Luca, but to her lack of interest toward sex [always lucky her!]. Asexuality is still a mostly unknown phenomenon, even though reclaimed by some communities as an out-and-out sexual orientation just like heterosexuality or homosexuality. Asexual people define this orientation as part of their identity, a different way of feeling and being that doesn't bring any negative consequences to their relational and emotional life, including romantic and emotional attraction but having objectives and goals that do not include sexual relationships. This said, even considering asexuality, as a state of fact, a sexual orientation, this certainly can have serious emotional repercussions on Silvia and Luca's relationship, there not being sexual compatibility between the two of them. In our case, however, to approve Luca's request, Silvia should have had a behaviour culpable of the breaking of the engagement. Becoming aware of one's own needs, aspirations and nature and sharing this with their partner with trust and honesty, can certainly cause upsetting, and a change in one's desire to get married, but it can't be ascribable to culpable behaviour. Silvia has only become aware of her way of being, meaning her nature. Nature that Luca can not share, but can't condemn, as it (said nature) was never hidden with the purpose of deceiving or misleading. For these reasons, Luca's request can't be approved. So ordered, the hearing is over. Oh, and doctor**, I gotta talk to you because..I need your advice! **there was a sexologist 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted November 18, 2013 Share Posted November 18, 2013 I wish I spoke Italian, you keep getting on TV but I can never understand it :lol: But yay! You're becoming a regular celeb in the asexual world. Link to post Share on other sites
Sally Posted November 19, 2013 Share Posted November 19, 2013 I wish I spoke Italian, you keep getting on TV but I can never understand it :lol: But yay! You're becoming a regular celeb in the asexual world. Me, too. I've always admired your posts, Silver, and I'm so glad that the "outer world" is listening to you. :cake: 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted November 19, 2013 Share Posted November 19, 2013 Me, too. I've always admired your posts, Silver, and I'm so glad that the "outer world" is listening to you. :cake: Oh whee, isn't that blush-worthy :redface: Thank you everyone! I'm glad you liked the apparition, even though most of you don't understand what's being said. I wish we had a function for automatic video subbing, damnit! :P Link to post Share on other sites
ThaHoward Posted November 19, 2013 Share Posted November 19, 2013 Hmm, I think I've actually seen one of those. And being used too, and it worked OK. I can try to look into it. Link to post Share on other sites
Pirate of Frost Posted November 19, 2013 Share Posted November 19, 2013 *Breaks in* NOO, I can't believe I missed it. Damn it. I'm happy to see that in Italy there's been all this Asexual visibility lately, though I'm sad I missed it all. It was perfect, but if I had to complain about anything, it would be about the show runner. I really didn't liked her. She gave me the idea as if she didn't really take it seriously, and also the way she explained the case after the commercials, it was like after the girl realized she was asexual, she was no longer willing to marry his fiancèe(?), but the way I got it, it was more the other way round. Oh, well, it's a little price to pay. Sorry, it's not like I'm trying to find something to complain about, really. It was great! ^^ From now on I will constantly check on here for stuff like that happening in Italy! :D *Runs away* Link to post Share on other sites
ithaca Posted November 20, 2013 Share Posted November 20, 2013 *Breaks in* NOO, I can't believe I missed it. Damn it. I'm happy to see that in Italy there's been all this Asexual visibility lately, though I'm sad I missed it all. It was perfect, but if I had to complain about anything, it would be about the show runner. I really didn't liked her. She gave me the idea as if she didn't really take it seriously, and also the way she explained the case after the commercials, it was like after the girl realized she was asexual, she was no longer willing to marry his fiancèe(?), but the way I got it, it was more the other way round. Oh, well, it's a little price to pay. Sorry, it's not like I'm trying to find something to complain about, really. It was great! ^^ From now on I will constantly check on here for stuff like that happening in Italy! :D *Runs away* Are you Italian? :) Awesome We always post about visibility on AVEN Italy too. We actually post media requests there as well, to look for volunteers to reply to newspapers/radio/Tv. http://www.asexuality.org/it/ And then we post results :P Link to post Share on other sites
Pirate of Frost Posted November 20, 2013 Share Posted November 20, 2013 *Breaks in* NOO, I can't believe I missed it. Damn it. I'm happy to see that in Italy there's been all this Asexual visibility lately, though I'm sad I missed it all. It was perfect, but if I had to complain about anything, it would be about the show runner. I really didn't liked her. She gave me the idea as if she didn't really take it seriously, and also the way she explained the case after the commercials, it was like after the girl realized she was asexual, she was no longer willing to marry his fiancèe(?), but the way I got it, it was more the other way round. Oh, well, it's a little price to pay. Sorry, it's not like I'm trying to find something to complain about, really. It was great! ^^ From now on I will constantly check on here for stuff like that happening in Italy! :D *Runs away* Are you Italian? :) Awesome We always post about visibility on AVEN Italy too. We actually post media requests there as well, to look for volunteers to reply to newspapers/radio/Tv. http://www.asexuality.org/it/ And then we post results :P Thank you very much! It sounds cool. I will give it a look! :D Btw can I use this account or do I have to make another one? (I guess I'll find out soon XD) Link to post Share on other sites
ithaca Posted November 20, 2013 Share Posted November 20, 2013 Thank you very much! It sounds cool. I will give it a look! :D Btw can I use this account or do I have to make another one? (I guess I'll find out soon XD) You'll have to make a new one :) Link to post Share on other sites
Vuhhuur Posted November 22, 2013 Share Posted November 22, 2013 Cards say "made in China" XD Link to post Share on other sites
Kelly Posted November 25, 2013 Share Posted November 25, 2013 *squees and fangirls* :aven: :aven: :aven: . Yes, that! :) Link to post Share on other sites
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