Attraction and the way people smell

[Malony]

I've had a few relationships that started cause I liked to hang out with the guys. I always noticed soon though that I didn't like to kiss them and did not want to have sex with them at all. I also noticed that I didn't like the way they smelled.

These relationships lasted max 3 months then I had enough. I've read somewhere that attraction is a chemical reaction and that one of the 3 things people found attractive in a potential partner, was their smell. So I always had the theory that if I ever find 'the One' I will suddenly like kissing and everything and I will like the way they smell.

I was just wondering what people here thought about this. Did you ever noticed something like this, in people you were attracted to or people you totally disliked up to being disgusted by them?

[Guest]

I have heard that about smells, dont know how big role it got in the process though. I have noticed that I cant stand the smell of people that bother me, like my ex, I didnt want to be anywhere close to him in the end.

I cant recall ever thinking: "Wow this person smells so good, I wanna cuddle with him", so I dunno about that :P

But if it does play a big role I guess thats why so many people use perfumes.

[ThaHoward]

Yes smell actually plays a big part. It can be both smell that we really can't smell (like natural smell) or perfume etc.If you're asexual, I don't believe you'll be sexually attracted to them, even if they have the "correct" smell. However if you're romantic, then you might be attracted to them by it.

But I don't know if you'll start liking kissing, but of course you can fool yourself to beleive so. Your brain is stronger than you believe. But if you don't like kissing and such from before, I doubt you'll like it naturally (for all we know, you're unconsciously telling yourself you don't like kissing). But just live life and I guess you'll find out :P

I have heard that about smells, dont know how big role it got in the process though. I have noticed that I cant stand the smell of people that bother me, like my ex, I didnt want to be anywhere close to him in the end.

I cant recall ever thinking: "Wow this person smells so good, I wanna cuddle with him", so I dunno about that :P

But if it does play a big role I guess thats why so many people use perfumes.

Hehe, keep in mind that this is most often pheromones that we as a conscious being don't pick up, but the rest of our body and brain picks it up ;)

[Guest]

I have heard that about smells, dont know how big role it got in the process though. I have noticed that I cant stand the smell of people that bother me, like my ex, I didnt want to be anywhere close to him in the end.

I cant recall ever thinking: "Wow this person smells so good, I wanna cuddle with him", so I dunno about that :P

But if it does play a big role I guess thats why so many people use perfumes.

Hehe, keep in mind that this is most often pheromones that we as a conscious being don't pick up, but the rest of our body and brain picks it up ;)

I know Howard.

[Guest]

I'm turned off by foul smells, but it really takes a lot for me to want to avert my nose from someone. I normally don't notice how people smell unless I'm very close to them (physically) and/or they emanate a very strong scent. Most scents are neutral to me.

[WhenSummersGone]

I hardly notice how people smell unless they put on too much perfume. I personally don't believe in pheromones. I'm not a fan of purfume to start with, but if they smell nice it's more "They smell nice! I wonder where they got that so I can buy some" rather than "I'm really turned on by this person". My romantic attraction is pretty much based around looks.

[SorryNotSorry]

So? Don't date people who have BO.

Too much perfume on a woman is something that annoys me... it's just as hard for me to tolerate as if she went around farting all the time or if she had a barroom miasma of booze and tobacco smoke.

OTOH no smell starts those little hearts floating around my head like a woman who has a faint scent of ylang-ylang oil. Too much of it has a Dr. Pepper smell, but low concentrations of it have femininity written all over it.

Patchouli, jasmine, and sandalwood, not so much... but still pleasant.

As for myself, I don't smell like a locker room like I did when I was younger, but sometimes after doing my thing and getting sawdust on myself, I smell like oak or pine. One woman told me fresh scents are the in thing in men's colognes nowadays, but personally I like spicy scents... Pour Homme by YSL is my fave, I don't like Aramis because it smells like marijuana or Polo Green because it smells like a hay loft. Tommy Bahama is ok, if a little heavy on the vanilla side.

[Kellam]

I absolutely loathe perfumes and colognes. I am specifically annoyed when I can smell someone else, I find it very intrusive. One of the best things about my body is my seasonal allergies. My nose usually dose not work in full for most of the year. That is a hindrance when I'm trying to enjoy a nice meal but it stops more negative smells than positive ones.

[Squirrel Combat]

HOLY CRAP!!!!!! :o :o :o :o I CAN DETERMINE WHO'S THE RIGHT PERSON IF THEY SMELL GOOD!?!?

I need to try this, real world person, real world circumstance!

[Zash]

I hate perfumes and colognes too, but that is because I am allergic to one of the base chemicals used in them, so it makes them very unpleasant when near them. (Not necessarily one of the scent chemicals, but I am allergic to a couple of those too)

I also have had this conversation:

Her: "You smell nice. Are you wearing a cologne?"

Me: "Umm... It's soap..."

Her: "It smells really good!"

Me: "It's just soap... Uh, I have to get to class..."

And then I fled.

Yes, I am aware she was trying to flirt with me, but, I wasn't interested.

[Malony]

Lol, yeah artificial smells are a bit different, although a nice deodorant might help. I don't go around smelling people either, but when someone is hugging or kissing you, you can't help but notice things like that.

Seasonal allergies are quite helpful sometimes, but I haven't been able to smell anything for over a year which is really annoying. With the last boyfriend I can't even tell what he smelled like. Maybe that is why I liked him more :)

[nightroamer]

The guy I am kind of dating smells good. I don't really like kissing him, though. It's just... ok. But I'm trying to think, ok, maybe I should turn my head this way? Maybe move my lips like this? And then I get anxious because I don't know what I'm doing and stop. But sometimes when going about my day, I kind of think I smell him. It's sort of a nostalgic sort of thing, not a thing that turns me on. There's another scent that does that to me - a sort of weird, earthy, carroty smell that I associate with this time I went camping. I just think I smell something like it every once and a while and think about it for a few seconds.

Other people, I don't notice their scent. Unless it's older family members who have distinctive house-smells.

[Naosuu]

I get bad allergies around a lot of perfume too. I actually didn't go to school after my friend and his cousin was playing with perfumes :P

I'm mostly neutral to most colognes and perfumes anyway. Although the exception is Old Spice deoderant. For some reason I love how that smells.

[Lydian]

My boyfriend says he likes the way I smell, idk. : / Good for him I guess? XD Better than thinking I smell bad right? I didn't really notice anything of the sort myself. ._.

[Guest]

In others? I seem to end up involved with and enjoying the company of people who aren't the best smelling folks on the planet. I can't say I've ever been repulsed by someone's perfume/cologne/natural scent, though. My allergies and asthma might act up if it's a particularly strong spray, but that's about all that happens. I can't say I'm for or against fragrances when it comes to finding a partner. As long as they're reasonably clean and groomed, I'm happy :lol: .

There's definitely a hint of truth in scent being a part of attraction/perception though. People seem to react differently when I'm wearing different scents. For me, it looks something like this:

Browns (McGraw, Tobacco Vanille by TF): Mostly conservative men. Ex-girlfriend also appreciated browns, but I can't say other women have complimented them on me. I wear them to exude dominance and control over a situation rather than neutrality or friendliness; particularly useful at work.

Blues (Le Male by JPG, Aquatonic): Very neutral among both sexes. They're not ones I really like wearing either. When approached, the conservation tends to end up being friendly and lighthearted.

Blacks (Tuscan Leather by TF, Drakkar Noir by Laroche): Blacks are slowly becoming a signature in my lineup since they're appreciated endlessly by both sexes, but they attract those seeking casual encounters rather than those looking for relationships. Two stabs at relationships while wearing blacks ended up dying out in under a month on both occasions. However, I was approached by a woman who said she "expected me" to smell like I do while wearing a black. I suppose that's a good thing, but I was probably wearing too much to inspire that sort of a comment :D .

Greens (Green Irish Tweed by Creed, Polo by RL, ..): Recently introduced into my lineup and seem to attract a more mature audience. I'm currently using a green with a woman I'm dating and have been wearing the same fragrance since I met her, but I can't say it's doing much for the attraction factor besides having her nose buried into my chest.

Haven't experimented with reds; going to soon and have a sample of Hugo Red on the way. Also have a bottle of KISS for Him, but it's not very long lasting and tends to make my nose run.

[Malony]

I noticed with all the ex-boyfriends prior to the last one, that I didn't like the way they smelled. Up to a point when I stopped breathing when I got to close. Always wondered if there was a connection to my disinterest on them.

[LeaveOnYourColours]

I love real, legit people smell. I know, it's super weird, but I don't mind even smells of sweat or the way hair (just hair, no products) smells. I don't wear fragrances or antiperspirant deodorant at all and I just like the skin smell.

My dad used to come home from work when I was little and his cologne had faded by then so it was just him and I liked that. There might be that connection to good things in my subconscious along with the whole pheromone thing. Half the awesome-ness of cuddling with my friends, to me, is the smell.

Another weird sidenote is that despite my love for the smell of people, I don't get crushes. Only ever squishes.

[argar]

Like others, I am not really in touch with my sense of smell. It has to be pretty strong for me to notice it, or pretty hungry, one or the other.

This topic did remind me of the old show Dinosaurs where the daughters smell only attracted a unpleasant janitor, but through a quest of strengthening who she was, her smell changed.

Do you think your mood or sense of self could change the way our pheromones are perceived?

[Exosk]

My one ex smelled awful, didn't matter what week it was for me. He smelled like a pork roast. He smelled like a bloody-just-begining-to-roast slab of pork (slightly metallic?). I noticed this smell came quite strongly from the back of his neck or maybe between the shoulder blades. He wore a cologne sometimes, but I don't think it went well with his skin (grass, vodka, and pork?). ....maybe he was unhealthy? Is it possible to smell that?

I can notice how some people's skin and hair smell if they aren't laden with products and fragrance; sometimes it's stronger than other times (BO is just terrible, sometimes like getting punched in the nose), but I don't consciously remember most smells. I personally prefer to use more fragrance-free hygiene (including detergent) products and then wear only 1-2 sprays of a musk-free fragrance.

[yomo]

I've noticed scent plays a decent part for me, I adore cologne/perfume and it really bothers me when someone I want to be close to smells bad to me, really it becomes a sort of distraction. I tend to really notice people's natural scents so maybe that's why.

[noparlpf]

Smell is important in romantic interactions. There's some evidence that human pheromones help indicate immune compatibility between potential mates. Somebody who smells good naturally would probably yield healthy babies with good immune systems if you mated with them.

Anyway, I've noticed some people mentioning perfumes and stuff. Not a big fan personally. If it's too strong it makes my nose itch. If it's conserved and tasteful it's okay but...a little confusing. I'm not very good at adjusting to new things, sometimes. My friend who likes to cuddle with me switched shampoos and it took me a while to get used to her smelling different.

[ItAllMakesSense]

I can see what you mean about smell influencing your attraction. My situation was slightly different with one of the guys I dated in the past. I was not attracted to him and actually felt a sense of pitty for him, but he did smell really good.

The last guy I dated I was attracted to because he was a genuinely good guy, good for me. He was hygienic so he smelled good. He didn't wear cologne or much though. I like when guys wear cologne.