Is this what sexual pleasure feels like? (Graphic)

[Knossos]

... well, pleasure and arousal.

I'm going to be pretty explicit and clinical about my experiences, so if you don't want to read things about specific anatomical parts described in detail, you might want to skip this. I've just had such a hard time making sense of my experience because everyone seems to describe things in a very metaphorical fashion and, not having had their experiences (and often nothing like them), I don't know how to process what they say. So I'll try to be as straightforward and relatable as possible.

Just to start: I'm male. I identify as asexual. Though I'm not sure what, exactly, sexual attraction/desire to others feels like, from everything I've heard I don't have it.

I do have a degree of physical arousal, though; I do get erections, and sometimes they are situational. However, they never come from images/ideas of arousal or of sexual intercourse; those things don't really enter my mind. (At most, those things have given me the mild sensation of having to urinate, nothing more.) I've never even had an erotic dream; my nocturnal emissions are independent of my dream imagery. Sometimes images can arouse, but never because I want to have sex with the person imaged; most often.

When I would get those erections, moreover, the feelings would not be pleasurable, per se. The penis would swell up, get firm, and at the same time, I would sometimes (though not always) get a sense of excitement. This is the exact same sense as that which you get in a good page-turner, in a suspenseful movie, or in a stressful time of life, and nothing more: my brain would start racing, though perhaps going only in circles; my heart rate would increase, and sometimes my skin would feel warm or sensitive. The latter would be especially true if the erection lasted a long time, and in that case the penis might actually start hurting, as your arm would if you were holding a weight straight out at arm's length but couldn't release it for a long time. Sometimes this overall sensation would disrupt my sleep; I would attribute my tiredness to "restlessness," in part because that's exactly how it felt and I wouldn't know how to explain to people in polite conversation my unusual experience with erections! (Sometimes nocturnal emissions would accompany such "restless" nights, but certainly not always, and there were nocturnal emissions besides those ones.)

Furthermore, I never had the desire to stroke my penis, though I might touch it - often just out of fascination or curiosity. Sometimes I would even do experiments to see how it would respond to various stimuli and just sit back and watch as it would inflate and deflate, totally detached! So, in short, arousal was something I enjoyed -who doesn't like a little exhilaration?- but it had no unique/special sensations attached to it (besides its location on/in my body). "Orgasm" was a total mystery, and I had no idea why people would find the sight of an attractive person pleasurable in se.

However, a couple weeks ago something... changed. In a bit of sleepy, half-awake, stuporous curiosity, one night I decided to see if there were any sensitive places on my penis. I'd had a few restless nights leading up to this point, so I was experiencing the sense of arousal (generic excitement + erection) described above. Finding a spot on the underside of the shaft about midway up to be sensitive, I pinched... and, to my half-awake shock, I ejaculated. This was the first time I had ever ejaculated in a mostly-conscious state, and the feeling was entirely different. It was as if waves of cold fire were blowing through my body about half an inch under my skin, emanating from my penis and leaving my shaky and a bit overwhelmed. It still didn't feel pleasurable, per se, but it was powerful, and I could understand why people would want it. (It felt a little like the sensation of getting shivers down my spine, which some have comapred to orgasm, but that, for me, has always originated in my upper or lower back and spread through my extremities from there.)

Since then, though, my experience of arousal has changed significantly. Now about 50% of the time -no matter whether I have an erection or not- there's a weird tickling sensation in that sensitive spot in my penis. I can best compare it to that weightless feeling in the stomach you get when you speed quickly over a hill, or perhaps even the sinking sensation in your stomach when you're terrifically embarrassed or dismayed, but compressed and localized. It's feels like a new kind of itch, one partially relieved by application of pressure. I also have sometimes gotten brief washes of the cold fire. I'm a little worried, though; I'm wondering if I "broke" something and made my previously mostly non-sensitive penis irreparably super-sensitive, or whether it's merely an irritation caused by unaccustomed friction in the urethra that will heal over time. I really would prefer it to return to the way it was: having erections be mildly obnoxious and a non-erect penis have little sensation. Having this ticklish itch is very annoying.

So, questions:

1. Is that wash of cold fire "orgasm"?

2. Is the ticklish itch the sensation of sexual "needs" or "drive"?

3. For anyone, asexuals or sexuals: would you describe your sensations of sexual arousal and pleasure in terms similar to mine? If not, how does your experience differ?

4. Has anyone else had an experience like this? Do you know if the shift in experience I described is reversible?

5. What sort of professional should I ask about this?

[tuvok]

Checking with a doctor might be a good idea whenever there is major changes to your body.

I never experienced anything like that. I think that "orgasms" for men is any ejaculation. I never had that shiver or something that left me shaking after I ejaculated. It is possible something changed about your libido but I am not sure that anyone would try to kill that if this is the case.

I doubt that this will be permanent but for how long it could go on I have no idea.

I know that this is a bother but I can't see a way out of it.

Don't just take random drugs that is supposed to kill your libido.

Hope this works out for you either way

[R_1]

I never experienced anything like that. I think that "orgasms" for men is any ejaculation.

That's not what orgasm is. Orgasm in my opinion is defined on something on the line of what relates to intense pleasure. Think of it as cuddling someone, but the feelings of enjoying cuddling is all mixed up within the genital. That's as far as I can get to describing it.

As for me, orgasm makes me moan or scream and there's a intense pleasure feeling down there. Plus, sometimes, my body would relax and I would breath harder since the orgasm is way too powerful. I can't stay up and end up relaxing after such sessions. I used to lack orgasm before the hospital visit.

[Lia]

Moved to The Gray Area, Sex and Related Discussions

Lia
Asexual Q&A Mod

[Janus the Fox]

Thats a different type of orgasm, I would call a more feminine prostate stimulation. What you pinched was the prostate or a nearby gland. Its likly being in such a hightened aroused state can excite the prostate further than normal.

I've done enough extermination to know I can experience two very distinctive orgasms. One is the conventional stroking of the penis where orgasm is more straightforward and there's prostate stroking where orgasms can get more complex, mutiple, longer, comes in waves and a feeling of fire and shivers for the first time I experienced that.

Afterward I could feel that annoying itch or tickling means I'm not finished. With a few prostate orgasms, I often have to end it with a secondary conventional orgasm. That often calms the libido after that.

I learned to do it the correct way, often from homosexual tips websites as I did experience bleeding during orgasm. This type of orgasm is becoming more normal and accepted but I had to double check with a Urologist, but no treatment was necessary and cleared up with time.

[Verust]

I thought he pinched somewhere on the shaft? EDIT: Perhaps not.

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Guys can ejaculate without having an orgasm, although I think it may be rare...? I have had side effects from medicine that caused that, although I read it can happen naturally to some people.

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As far as I know, orgasms generally involved uncontrolled muscle spasms for both sexes. A females' vaginal wall will pulse inward. Pulsing for males is very easy to see. When I had the side effects, there was no pulsing from the ejaculation. I cannot speak for others.

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In case it is relevant, erections can happen at random - for no conscious reason. Quite unfortunate in some situations...

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For me ASMR has always been directly in my ears or about my head, even when it is from solely visuals.

[Guest]

Guys can ejaculate without having an orgasm, although I think it may be rare...? I have had side effects from medicine that caused that, although I read it can happen naturally to some people.

Probably very rare, yup... of those people I mentioned this being the case for me - all my (post-puberty) life, I've been able to reach ejaculation, but not orgasm, by masturbating - nearly everyone simply didn't believe it. Thankfully, the social pedagogue who's been working with me for over ten years now - a heterosexual cis-male, to boot - just reacted with "yes, there's a big difference between those two things; most folks just don't ever come into the situation to need to differentiate them, though".

I'm kinda glad I ended up with him. ^_^ [/understatement]