#AsexualProblems

[Snao Cone]

8 hours ago, Scott1989 said:

Bojack Horseman. Heard it's good but not watched it.

It is indeed good. It can get quite sad, but it's well done and entertaining. The ace revelation isn't until the end of the most recent season (can't recall if it's second or third) but it's canon, at least.

[Vicky Angel]

I was listening to backstreet boys everybody

and so this is what happened

am I original?

yea

am I the only one?

yea

am I sexual?

um no

 

[fuzzipueo]

On 12/23/2016 at 8:13 PM, deck_of_aces said:

Wish I could like this more than once because YES that's so true. I have no character in any show/movie I really relate to, especially none that are ace. Someone should get on that, haha.

There are books though!

https://www.goodreads.com/list/show/61456.Asexuals_In_Fiction_

[UndeadWeapon]

Reading someone's comment on FB which says she loves getting into bed and having her partner wrap his arms round her (and she stated she was ace in her original post) and someone else just said 'yeah, foreplay is sweet'. She never said they were going to have sex, but the other person just said it was how they interpreted it. So a tender hug is foreplay now?? 

I don't know why I'm so mad right now. I should have learned by now FB is a cesspool of ignorance.

[deck_of_aces]

On December 24, 2016 at 0:12 PM, WoodwindWhistler said:

There's always fandom. Archive Of Our Own has asexual character tags. The Sherlock fandom has a pretty big asexual!Sherlock contingent. 

Very true, but I have a bad habit of shipping Watson and Holmes together, and this sort of interferes with that. Also, asexual!Sherlock tags are often, in my opinion, focusing more on the fact that the character is ace, and what that is, than the actual plot line.

 

And seriously, the original Sherlock was written over a hundred years ago. Does a well written ace character only come around once a century?

[Vicky Angel]

Just started reading the first few pages of posts in this thread.  The whole thing of really needing a cuddle, but having no one to cuddle is a big thing.  Most times I go see a movie in the theatres I get that, but none of my friends will cuddle.  

[Chronometry]

Getting "oh sweetie"-ed by my sister when I miss the sexual thing 

For example: liking and downloading 'Shut and Drive' by Rihanna because Wreck-it Ralph and completely missing the whole double meaning for longer than I'm comfortable admitting  

[WoodwindWhistler]

8 hours ago, deck_of_aces said:

Very true, but I have a bad habit of shipping Watson and Holmes together, and this sort of interferes with that. Also, asexual!Sherlock tags are often, in my opinion, focusing more on the fact that the character is ace, and what that is, than the actual plot line.

 

And seriously, the original Sherlock was written over a hundred years ago. Does a well written ace character only come around once a century?

How does that interfere? Unless Sherlock is aromantic, (then you can still ship them onesidedly, seeing as Sherlock wouldn't kick John to the curb over something as silly as having a crush) or specifically repulsed, or John is unwilling to compromise on sex (which I also find unlikely), I see few problems. 

Given that humanity has exponentially increased its creative output due to the internet and more leisure time, I find your last statement funny. 

[deck_of_aces]

13 hours ago, WoodwindWhistler said:

How does that interfere? Unless Sherlock is aromantic, (then you can still ship them onesidedly, seeing as Sherlock wouldn't kick John to the curb over something as silly as having a crush) or specifically repulsed, or John is unwilling to compromise on sex (which I also find unlikely), I see few problems. 

Given that humanity has exponentially increased its creative output due to the internet and more leisure time, I find your last statement funny. 

Although I avoid the fan fiction that explicitly states them as such, I ship them in the sense that I view them in a sexual relationship. Even though I like Sherlock fine as an ace character, I prefer the ship without that as a factor. Not saying you're wrong - I'm sure that could work fine with some people, I'm just exceptionally picky with my ships.

 

My last statement only really meant I was looking for a character I hadn't previously known. Also, as far as I know, Sherlock isn't outed as ace (although I could be mistaken). 

[Zectarash]

On 12/25/2016 at 11:01 AM, Snow Cone said:

It is indeed good. It can get quite sad, but it's well done and entertaining. The ace revelation isn't until the end of the most recent season (can't recall if it's second or third) but it's canon, at least.

Wait, they actually use the term?

[nerdperson777]

It's not particularly an ace problem, but it's still a problem.  I've graduated college so I've been doing nothing at home while I find a job.  Dad got laid off over half a year ago and appears to spend less effort than me in finding a job.  So I get to put up with his close-minded statements.  Also he's really traditional Chinese so he expects to be treated like a king in his own house (most obvious on Father's Day when he constantly acts like a jerk).  I walked out of the house last week because he said that if he told me 1 + 1 = 3, I had to believe it no matter what.  He basically erases trans and not straight identities when he talks to anyone.  Both my parents don't like my hair because they don't want family to know I'm trans.  They don't even try to use the correct name or pronouns at home, although I plan to change that soon.

 

The other day we flipped through an old photo album we found and we found a picture of one of my cousins.  She tends to want to take these pictures for herself when she finds them so dad said that we should give it to her at her wedding.  My cousin is cishet but she told me that she did not want to get married.  I told my dad that she wasn't getting married.  She also said that even though her long time boyfriend came from a big family with expectations, she did not want kids.  So he's really sacrificing getting no kids if he really loves my cousin that much.  Dad acted like he knew everything and said "things can change".  That's some gutsy talk for someone who lives in a house that never changes.  We have a lot of junk in our house that could be over 10, 20 years old.  At a gathering a few days ago, I heard him talking to some mom about her three grown boys finding wives.  I'm not saying that they can't be straight but he didn't even mention that being a possibility, although I can't remember a Chinese word for partner atm.  It's just that him acting like he knows everything really gets on my nerves, especially when we're both home and jobless.

[Hetaera]

Not knowing whether you're completely asexual or just an anti social demisexual person #asexual problems

[Hermit Advocate]

#asexualproblems When the owner of the store next door comes into the store where you work and starts talking about blow jobs with your boss and all you want to do is hide under the desk and put loud music on so you don't have to listen to the conversation. Though I think the worst part was when she looked at me and said "if you want a guy to do something, promise him a blow job." Eww.

[InfiniteHeart]

Coming out to someone you thought would understand and they say things like: "If you don't want sex, then why would you want a relationship?" "A relationship without sex is just a friendship." "You've had sex before so you can't be asexual." "But you have a boyfriend..." "Maybe you're just a lesbian." "That's total hipster crap." "Asexuality isn't a thing. It's just something some people call themselves because they think they're special snowflakes." "If you've enjoyed sex before, then there's no way you can just say you're asexual." "But you'd make a great mother. You'll change your mind." After that terrible discussion, she hasn't talked to me for weeks...

 

Bottom line: When people are in denial about your asexuality and refuse to understand it. Instead, they opt for ignorance and trying to disprove what you're saying.

 

PS: That someone I came out to is no longer my friend.

[Snao Cone]

16 hours ago, Zectarash said:

Wait, they actually use the term?

No, but it meets the criteria. Like if he said "I'm into dudes" you'd kinda figure he means he's gay.

[nerdperson777]

My cousin and her husband were visiting so we went to a mystery house and had lunch at a restaurant in an upscale area.  Later, we just browsed the nearby stores, including a Tesla showroom.  In one store, I went over to the books (which I don't really go to).  I picked up a rainbow book called "This Book is Gay".  Dad sees me and asks, "anything interesting?"  I said gay.  He gave me his judging face and walked off.

[AsexualMemeTrash]

Last night I got a SnapChat message and it was a chain message saying, "post lipstick flavors about your love life, it'll confuse the boys and they'll wonder why people are posting lipstick flavors on their stories." 

 

1). Lipstick tastes like powder, I think you're thinking of lip balm or lip gloss. 

2). A lot of those things have the same flavors. Ice cream for example. The guys could be wondering, "Why are you craving strawberry ice cream so much?" 

3). Why would boys wonder about lipstick?  

4). I'm ace fam, I'm gonna die alone anyway. 

 

In the sender's defense, they don't know that I'm ace.

[Member106624]

.

[Hermit Advocate]

My coworker wants to set me up with someone at work because I'm single. No thanks.

[deck_of_aces]

On December 29, 2016 at 7:57 AM, AsexualMemeTrash said:

Last night I got a SnapChat message and it was a chain message saying, "post lipstick flavors about your love life, it'll confuse the boys and they'll wonder why people are posting lipstick flavors on their stories." 

 

1). Lipstick tastes like powder, I think you're thinking of lip balm or lip gloss. 

2). A lot of those things have the same flavors. Ice cream for example. The guys could be wondering, "Why are you craving strawberry ice cream so much?" 

3). Why would boys wonder about lipstick?  

4). I'm ace fam, I'm gonna die alone anyway. 

 

In the sender's defense, they don't know that I'm ace.

Ha, I got the same thing yesterday. One of the options was, post *this* flavour if you want to die alone with a house full of cats. I didn't, but responded to the person who sent me the snap that that would be my option (I'm not out yet and I *regrettably* have family members on snapchat). They thought I was kidding, but nope. That's my answer.

 

Just a question, but what flavour did you say?

[Ainim]

Friend: "What, you don't feel 'hungry' like that?"

Me: "I can tell when people are attractive, like pretty paintings. It would just be really weird to want to have sex with a painting."

#AsexualProblems

[AsexualMemeTrash]

4 hours ago, deck_of_aces said:

Ha, I got the same thing yesterday. One of the options was, post *this* flavour if you want to die alone with a house full of cats. I didn't, but responded to the person who sent me the snap that that would be my option (I'm not out yet and I *regrettably* have family members on snapchat). They thought I was kidding, but nope. That's my answer.

 

Just a question, but what flavour did you say?

I didn't participate in it, but I wouldve said i wanted to die alone lol. 

 

A few days later I got another one but this time it was zodiac signs, and aquarius said something like "boys ain't cute"

[Zash]

5 hours ago, Ainim said:

Friend: "What, you don't feel 'hungry' like that?"

Me: "I can tell when people are attractive, like pretty paintings. It would just be really weird to want to have sex with a painting."

#AsexualProblems

I usually go with sunsets than paintings, because paintings can be of attractive people.  Just to head off the "Well, if it is a painting of a hot person..."

[012]

9 hours ago, Ainim said:

Friend: "What, you don't feel 'hungry' like that?"

Me: "I can tell when people are attractive, like pretty paintings. It would just be really weird to want to have sex with a painting."

#AsexualProblems

This is awesome because I've actually made that painting analogy in my mind before.  Spot on.

[Vicky Angel]

When you really want to cuddle being New Year's but you have no one to cuddle.

[Adam_Jensen]

I've been hanging out on the dark side of youtube (again) and found a smart-ass who thinks asexual people are lunatics.I usually don't pay attetion to those douchebags but it still annoys me when people label you crazy and attetion seeking whore when they don't even bother to make some damn research themselves.

 

"Oh I don't understand this so it's obviously complete bullshit" is that they're saying.Any way just needed to vent a bit.

[012]

7 hours ago, Adam_Jensen said:

I've been hanging out on the dark side of youtube (again) and found a smart-ass who thinks asexual people are lunatics.I usually don't pay attetion to those douchebags but it still annoys me when people label you crazy and attetion seeking whore when they don't even bother to make some damn research themselves.

 

"Oh I don't understand this so it's obviously complete bullshit" is that they're saying.Any way just needed to vent a bit.

That would be the low IQ response to something they're not familiar with.

[Red Sun Rises]

On 12/31/2016 at 3:25 PM, Ainim said:

Friend: "What, you don't feel 'hungry' like that?"

Me: "I can tell when people are attractive, like pretty paintings. It would just be really weird to want to have sex with a painting."

#AsexualProblems

Legit that's how I explain aro/ace things to people.  My go-to explanation is this:

"I see people like I see paintings in an art gallery.  I love art, and I love visiting galleries, and I have artwork that I think is so beautiful and I love looking at it, and I may even want to touch it, but I don't want any of it hanging on my wall, and I'm not going to eat it.  That's how I feel about people."

[Red Sun Rises]

Coming out to your best friend, explaining everything to her, and still getting: "I believe there is someone out there for everyone. You'll find your special someone, you just haven't met them yet." #asexualproblems

 

Also #asexualproblems, constantly wondering why you had to be wired differently than everyone else because it has caused nothing but complications for you since you were born.  And then realizing that you would've had different, more complicated problems had you been wired like everyone else and thank your Maker that you were wired differently. 

[WorldHero]

When someone who's bisexual claims to be living an "asexual lifestyle" because of "relationship experiences."

 

I don't mean to be identity policing, but I think...you're confusing "asexual" with celibacy. You can be bisexual and sex-repulsed though. But claiming that you're asexual because of bad relationships is a huge no-no...