is it best for an asexual to date another asexual?

[kat_xk8]

im 38

i have never been on a date but its due in part to circumstance

i would love to date but realized the ony way it can work is with another asexual

i want to get married someday but it has to be to another asexual who also doesnt want to have sex

and that this would never be an isssue

i am clinically asexual meaning i was born with incomplete devlelopment and doctors pefromed an intersex surgery on me

not only do i not want to have sex i also cannot have sex literally !!!

i dont want to be single or alone for the rest of my life

but also dont want be with someone who would ever want sex

those guys would never be compatable with me and will never work !!!!

i will never come around to this and i mean 100% no sex

i would almost need to sign some kind of no sex prenup if thats possible

how do i go about finding another asexual to share my life with

i dont want sex to keep me alone for the rest of my life

sex really has closed too many doors and its about time i closed the door to it for a change !! no more like slamming the door !!

i dont accept being single for my whole life as my fate in life

i need help in finding that compatable person

i dont want some impotent old man or a paralpalegic either

another asexual is the only way this can work

thanks for the advice

[Rising Sun]

There are many online dating sites for sexless relationships.

Otherwise, there are many sexual persons who don't want sex at all. People with no libido, people who have no interest in sex at all (yes, there are some), antisexual persons and I surely forget many others...

i dont want some impotent old man or a paralpalegic either

What do you have against disabled people ?

[Phaetion]

I'd actually rather date another ace too. There's less trouble that way (Plus, no one else gets hurt, hence my stubborn refusal to date sexuals of all walks of life).

But, yes, dating sites work (I'm opposed to the idea itself but that doesn't...and shouldn't stop you from trying. :) ) so that you can find the person you want.

On a few of your points, I feel the same way. The most important thing is this: Don't give up, and good luck. :)

[EruditeVolatility]

I'm involved with a sexual right now and it works out completely fine. It really depends on the PERSON. Don't generalize anyone just because of an orientation.

[Ravako]

It is best for the consenting adults in a relationship to be happy with each other. Their sexual- and gender-identities don't need to come into the equation if they don't have to.

[Philip027]

If you're a repulsed ace, I'd probably say yes, generally.

But it still depends some on the other person too. Just because someone is "sexual" doesn't mean they consider that aspect of themselves in high importance.

[HardToComeBy]

If you're a repulsed ace, I'd probably say yes, generally.

But it still depends some on the other person too. Just because someone is "sexual" doesn't mean they consider that aspect of themselves in high importance.

For a repulsed ace (and speaking as one), I'd say it would make a significant difference. For me, very much so!

Ace relationships, while rare, can be quite a bit easier in a lot of ways, especially in the general realm of first expectations and what to expect from the other person(s) involved. I do not know, but I would guess that ace/ace relationships would probably thrive more in the area of general communication. That's my running hypothesis for the moment, anyway.

I wouldn't go as far to say that it is always better for aces to hop on board with other aces. There are ace/sexual pairings between people here on AVEN, so no doubt, these sorts of pairings can work.

[Janus the Fox]

As with any orientation, there is no guarantee a relationship will work out. The spectrum is broad, but keep looking and something could eventually into place naturally. There's no rush ;)

[kat_xk8]

There are many online dating sites for sexless relationships.

Otherwise, there are many sexual persons who don't want sex at all. People with no libido, people who have no interest in sex at all (yes, there are some), antisexual persons and I surely forget many others...

i dont want some impotent old man or a paralpalegic either

What do you have against disabled people ?

i dont have anything agaisnt them i just wont date or marry one - thats my choice this is my life . it was never meant to be anything other than i wont date anyone who isnt asexual but not into sex do to something other than asexuality ie a handicap or impotence

again its my life my decision and i wont be defending myself here this isnt a court of law geez

[SpadeofAces]

I think you're better off trying to find a fellow asexual. Have you tried http://www.asexualitic.com/index.php?

Good luck!

[MaxAmoeba]

Kat...try being active on SNS specially FB as there are more chances of you meeting people online there.

[SpadeofAces]

Kat...try being active on SNS specially FB as there are more chances of you meeting people online there.

Maybe you should explain those acronyms?

[Silmaril]

Kat...try being active on SNS specially FB as there are more chances of you meeting people online there.

Maybe you should explain those acronyms?

I presume Phoenix means SNS = Social NetworkS and FB = FaceBook?

[red_brick_dream]

I apologize in advance for what is surely the boring answer:

One can't make any categorical statements about things like this! It can be best for a certain asexual to date another asexual.

It may even be true that it's best for most asexuals to date other asexuals (in a certain time, in a certain place). But times change; so do places and so do people. There are no general rules to go by - everyone is different.

I, for one, could only "date" an asexual, I'm sure, because I'm not willing to compromise on sex. I could certainly be affectionate and "involved" with a sexual person, but not in a sexual way, and for that reason, probably not on a long-term basis. I'm in a place right now where I could probably be amenable to several kinds of relationships.

The question to ask is, what are you looking for, and what are you willing to compromise? Then you can find an answer for whether it's best for you to date another asexual. You do, for example, seem altogether unwilling to have sex. There are people out there looking for that as well - asexuals are merely a subset of these people.

It's frustrating. It's downright frustrating and stressful - I definitely understand that. I don't want to be alone either, and I don't want something as silly as sex to be the reason I'm alone! At least there's AVEN, where we can find some understanding and support.

Cheers, good luck, and

[Guest]

Not all sexuals want sex, not all of those who want it can't live without it, and not all of those who say they can't live without it must absolutely have it with their partner. Mixed couples can work if you both agree that the sexual may seek sex outside the relationship. Of course, it's not the preferred arrangement for everyone, but for some couples, it does work.

Apart from that, it's obvious that asexual + asexual relationships are more likely to work than asexual + sexual relationships... so yes, don't give up just yet. Many people out there feel the exact same as you do. :)

[EruditeVolatility]

I can really only speak from experience. I've been involved with 8 people over my life all of whom were sexual on some level or another (although I suspect one was homosexual - and opposite gender of me - and another demisexual or grey-A or something, but not very sexual at all). My current amour is pansexual and when I came out to him he basically just said "So what? I love YOU not what you can give me and not satisfying some base physical need. I want to make you happy and if that means we don't have sex or have sex once a month or every week or every day or five times a day, that's what I'll do for you."

Yes. He's amazing, be jealous.

With two others the relationships fell apart REALLY fast and became abusive because I was adamant on the sex issue. So it all really, really, REALLY depends on the person. I am currently identifying myself as 97% asexual, but I so experience SOME sexual attraction, but very, very rarely and only in very, very specific circumstances. So that allows me a little more compromise, but like I said, my current amour is doing all the compromise in this situation right now.

[Aspiecat]

I met my boyfriend here on AVEN, and sex is something that we discuss. He is actually asocial rather than asexual, plus we have such a close bond that sex is only something that would happen if I decided it should. He loves ME and sex is something he could do without so long as we are together.

Yes, you can meet people who "fit the bill" - as it's about the connection two people have, rather than both being strictly sexual or strictly asexual. But let me tell you that you meet people at the most unexpected times, and in the most unexpected circumstances. Often it's when you're NOT looking for someone that you find them!

[Neither]

It depends on what you want. Personally, I would never date a sexual person, because I absolutely refuse to compromise and force myself to have sex with somebody when I actually don't want to. Some sexuals night be okay with having a non-sexual relationship, but being sexual they would probably prefer if I wanted to have sex with them, which would put a lot of pressure on me. As a result I might give in to please them and basically agree to getting raped.

[ItAllMakesSense]

I think dating another person who is asexual would be a great option for you if you could find the right person in other ways than just asexuality, unless of course that's your primary value in another person. I think that dating an asexual person would be just like sexual people dating in regards to how there are other factors than just sex in that type of relationship. Coming to those terms, I do believe there are more than just 1% of aces out there but there is still a slim number compared to the rest of the sexual population. Since you would be hunting for the right person in your eyes, along with him or her being asexual, you might find it tough at first but don't lose hope. There are plenty of online websites as others on this thread have mentioned, and there might be an asexual meetup in an area close to you. I'd definitely recommend getting out there and meeting others.