Reactions when coming out?

[Lady Girl]

There is also the idea that it is something you share only with your husband or wife...it represents an emotional and physical commitment to the person you married.

My husband only 'came out' to me, and I will always love him even if our differences are hard for me to handle at times.

[Waist of Thyme]

I've never really "came out" as I've always been open about it (except to my family), but most people are either positive/accepting or ask "What does that mean?" (after explaining, most of them are positive/accepting as well)

[WhenSummersGone]

I mostly got "That's cool" then subject change or "That's interesting". Also a few guys who thought they could change me if I had sex with them.

[ristvak]

I've only told four people-

An acquaintance years ago ("...you think you can spawn another you?") *smack*

My best friend ("wait, what's that? Omg that's totally you!") *hugs*

My ex, two weeks after he ultimatumed me ("well, the people /I/ know that /claim/ to be asexual aren't") *rage*

Aaaaand the guy I've just started seeing who makes me feel like I've never felt before *shifty eyes*

[Guest]

I haven't came out in real life but I sort of casually told a friend that I didn't ever want to have sex and they said something like "oh I'm sure you'll change your mind when you find someone" So I don't bother in fully coming out to anyone.

[pennyinmysock]

I've came out to a few people.

Firstly was my older sister; I said I wasn't interested in boys or girls and she told me I just needed to find the right guy and then proceeded to say I probably just had social issues. :( That put me off telling anyone else for a while.

Second was my team mates (two girls and a guy) who told me that it must be so much less distracting and had no problem with it. ^_^

Today (like five minutes ago) I came out to my little brother (he's 15.) I actually used the word "asexual" when describing myself to him. He said he couldn't understand, but allowed me to explain by saying "To hetrosexuals relations with the opposite sex makes sense and they know about other sexualties but it doesn't work for them. To homosexuals it is the same with thier own sex. Bisexuals can understand wanting eighter sex. Asexuals know about sexual relationships, but they don't want one. It doesn't work for them. I'm in the last group I don't have those types of feelings for anyone beyond friendship." After explaining that to him, he said that he understood even though he thought it to be strange, and said that I made alot more sense now that he knows this. Honestly it's a great releif that he was ok with it and let me explain because I'm really close with him. :)

[Little-twig]

As of last week, we have a fiesta on campus to kick off the main fiesta which takes place citywide, one of my other club friends found out since I was helping the GLBTQ booth set up. *Thinks some more* I think more than one actually found out that day. But none the less the guy made the joke 'Well we all have that phase where we want to take over the world with our clones.' I'm still not too sure what to think of it to this day.

[Hazel lights]

I've gotten around to coming out to around 15 or so people. I was afraid of bad reactions or disbelief but honestly most people don't really care all that much. My friends are accepting. I've only gotten one negative reaction-you're too young to know. Well it was from my fraternal twin sister so that doesn't really count because I think that was just her way of saying "I'm too young to figure this out myself"

[Arcovia]

I've only come out once, and it was on accident. The reaction, in order, was "what." "How did you come to this conclusion?" "Why does it even matter? That sounds like a lot of people" "Oh, well if it feels right for you, then good for you." and the next day "I looked up asexuality and I think I'm asexual too, but I don't really feel a need for the label."

[Pepipanda]

You didn't include my favorite: "Me too!"

[Veeri]

Not seeing the classic "You just think that because you haven't had sex yet" response. :P Nor it's popular cousin, for those who have had a history: "You just haven't had GOOD sex yet!"

[AmeliaEdwards11]

I've only come out to friends, and most have been positive reactions... after I explain what asexuality is. I got one friend to google it once though because I was too lazy to explain it. But I did get two negative reactions.

My first was I came out to two friends in class, and one friend decided to explain very loudly as she was walking away "Wait, so you're a plant!?!?!" Which I found funny.

The other negative reaction actually came from a friend of mine who is openly bisexual. Ironic, right? Anyway, she pretty much said that asexuality didn't exist, and even if it did, I don't know what I want. She also happened to be younger than me.

[❅Snowflake❅]

Didn't vote,I even never care what they said about my sexuality.

[Fringey]

I have had various different reactions.

I haven't "come out" as such to my parents, but they know that I have never shown any interest in having relationships; I think they just think it is because of my previous mental health issues.

My best friends think it is awesome (one is also asexual).

Some people I have met are skeptical and don't believe that it is an actual thing, so they just change the subject to avoid talking about it.

[anon.]

I tried only once, with one of my friends. It was kinda awkward because she started laughing...I think she was thinking of the plant kind of asexual. Anyways, never actually tried again lol. I'm perfectly content with being "in the closet." :D

[MXC]

I've vote for the "you watch porn..." just because there isn't a "but you had sex before, this can't be" as I am grey-a. anyway the best one I had was yesterday when a friend asked about my asexual pride wristband. when I explained to her she was like "this sounds like lots of married couple I know ...........cool I didn't know about this" :lol:

I also went around for this pride parade explaining to the ones who where doing a "what's this?" face, then after the explanation was like this :o

[TheLandsBeyond]

The first time I told someone, they said I'd change later. The second person I told insightfully informed me that no humans can be asexual. The third person I told didn't have any sort of reaction at all because I just mentioned it in passing and it wasn't a big deal. I haven't told anyone else yet.

[DexM]

I chose other.

Here are some of the pearls of wisdom I received.

"Ahhhh, so you're just a batchelor?"

"I want a nephew or niece. Plus you have mental health problems, so don't worry about it. Things will change".

"You have a poorly mind".

"O.k. cool. That explains quite a lot. As long as you're happy."

[Member4445]

I'm out on facebook and to close friends. Absolutely no one cared except my asexual friends.

[morugan]

I've told my mom and a few of my close, close friends. I came to my mom first, and the look on her face was absolute confusion, then, "Are you sure? Wait a few years, I'm sure you'll meet someone."

When I told my friend, Matt, he looked at me with the straightest face and said, "You never know, sex is amazing! It's a basic necessity!"

The only positive reaction I got was from my lesbian friend, Audrey, and that was only slightly. She said cool, and then began talking about something entirely different.

I would have been fine if my mother of all people would have been cool with it. She's always going on about how if I was gay, she would be supportive -- but she can't be supportive of me being straight without a sexdrive? Like, seriously? And she's still doubtful, after two years. It hurts.

[Eidd]

I have told a bunch of people.

The very first person I told wasn't sure of what it meant, so I explained and he understood completely. He even identified with some aspects of what I felt and he was really nice, but didn't think it was a huge deal either. This was an internet friend. Other internet friends I've told have reacted in similar ways, always positive (expect one that said: "What?? Why are you against sex?!") but they've been really supportive in general, even if some of them didn't know what it was.

Internet friends aside, I've told two "real life" friends and their reactions were pretty bad. Neither of them knew what it meant but after explaining they didn't understand. I got comments in the lines of:

-how can I be sure if I never had sex

-but you don't get horny when you watch porn??

-you just have to try it

-you're unconsciously lying

-asexuality doesn't exist

-it's unnatural

-what kind of trauma caused it

-it will change

-no, you're too young to know (this was my therapist, after bringing the topic a few times when I said it wasn't causing me any trouble, she jut kept insisting)

-you just haven't found the right person yet

-"but if your boyfriend wants to, you HAVE to do it even if you don't want to! it's your duty as girfriend!"

-"no, see, the problem is that you see sex as a way of having kids, but normal people see it as a source of pleasure and expression of love!"

[Starbogen]

I told my mom and I got an "I accept you for who you are but I think you're too young to know that and you might change your mind when you meet the right person" sort of reaction XD But I explained everything I wanted exactly the way I wanted and she saw my point of view as well.

[SREDISKRAD]

I had a mixed bag...but lots of negativity, like asexuality is the new gay sorta thing. I came out during school, because I was open and honest, bad decision...I got loads of "GAY", "RETARD", "[insert large verbal assault here]"...there was three people who accepted me fully, my best friend (who I can always rely on) and my parents. But they were so evil that they made me watch porn and stuff and on many occasions I came close to throwing up because of the vitriol they made me watch.

[Moon Thief]

Basically had no idea, or thought I haven't met someone special.

[Cymbeline]

I've gotten off pretty lightly, but then again, I haven't told many people. Reactions have mostly been:

"Really? I've never heard of that. Please tell me more."

"I've heard of that and accept that it's a thing, but I don't really understand it. Please tell me more."

"That's a pity because you're hot, but I understand and accept what you're saying."

I've only had one guy tell me to my face that I was wrong, that I counldn't possibly know that at 20, that it doesn't make evolutionary sense and that he could change it. Balls, I forgot to tick a few of those.

[Vega91]

Well, after telling someone on a forum, I got "OMG YOU'RE ASEXUAL?"
Was pretty hilarious. :D

[Hazel lights]

Whenever I slip it into conversation I get one of 3 reactions. A couple if times I've been asked what being asexual is and I've explained then the conversation moves on. Other times I'll just get okay and then they continue the the conversation. Weirdly what's happened a lot is they won't even acknowledge me coming out and they'll just continue the conversation. Then I'll be unsure if they understood me correctly so I'll bring it up again and still no reaction. Of about 20 people I've come out to all but like two have been completely neutral.

[malica]

"Yeah, that was obvious." - My sister

[jmitch1481]

I only told 2 of my friends. The one told me I just needed to have good sex. Hmmm I've been with experienced people, I figured that was the issue. I didn't enjoy it, sorry. I just wanted it to be over more than anything.

The other friend didn't care.

I came out to my mother numerous times. Not that I was asexual, that I was bisexual. And seeing as I got VERY bad reactions, I'm not going to worry about this one. I've tried to convince her for the last 15 years, I have no preference. I think my brother made it worse, by telling her I was a lesbian. I refuse to explain myself anymore.

When I posted on FB for National Coming Out Day, thanking friends for their love and acceptance of me, my mom freaked. She sat down and yelled, "When were you going to tell me?" I was like seriously? We are not going to have this conversation. (and we didnt, but for argument sake)

Hmmm lets see how about in high school, when I introduced you to my Girlfriend? Where you proceed to tell me it was a faze. And it was wrong, and made me cry.

2nd time: When my brother "outed me at diner" TWICE. No answer I gave was right. 1st time it was, so what if I am? 2nd No. Where she proceed to yell at me, "TELL ME THE TRUTH!". My Step father tried to came to my rescue, but backed down. My mother gave him a look and he said, "He could never accept me that way.

4th Time. She met my Girlfriend at a party. Asked if I was having sex with her. I told her I was bisexual. She seemed to accept it.!?!?!?!?

I mean god forbid I have = signs and rainbow shit all over my car (When I was in high school and college). And I have a shirt that says "GAY? Fine by me." How else can I tell you?!?!? If I have an adult relationship (mid 20's) with a woman.......*hands up in the air*

Sorry. I ranted. So no, I wont be telling my family.

[krislox]

I explained my friend about me being asexual, she said I was lucky :P