Be Careful What You Wish For

[Tanwen]

Why not a Mature Discussion forum? Where intellectual discussion, serious debate, share difficulties like life, health, and everything else in general not otherwise covered. We do have Off-A-and the politics, science etc, but a forum that places mature topics rather than random topics. 

It seems already covered, but a sub-forum re-shuffle may suffice. I do use examples from other forum structures.

This is how 'Older Asexuals' is developing. it isn't simply a place for 50's and over; now that younger people have taken up residence, it's far more active and interesting, reminding me very much of AVEN in the early days. The thing that makes this forum a joy to moderate is that people are civil to each other, they can disagree without resorting to name-calling.

I suppose the name of the forum puts many off 'visiting' - but try it, you may be impressed - well, OK, not impressed, but you'll probably be surprised ;)

[Janus the Fox]

Why not a Mature Discussion forum? Where intellectual discussion, serious debate, share difficulties like life, health, and everything else in general not otherwise covered. We do have Off-A-and the politics, science etc, but a forum that places mature topics rather than random topics. 

It seems already covered, but a sub-forum re-shuffle may suffice. I do use examples from other forum structures.

This is how 'Older Asexuals' is developing. it isn't simply a place for 50's and over; now that younger people have taken up residence, it's far more active and interesting, reminding me very much of AVEN in the early days. The thing that makes this forum a joy to moderate is that people are civil to each other, they can disagree without resorting to name-calling.

I suppose the name of the forum puts many off 'visiting' - but try it, you may be impressed - well, OK, not impressed, but you'll probably be surprised ;)

Yeah I find the Older Asexuals forum a very different place to the rest of the site.

Maybe it is in need of a renaming to attract more mature aces, just my two pence...

[ithaca]

This is actually something we've been talking about recently, Tails ^_^

I like it how recently several of the ideas members brought up are things we're thinking about and discussing :)

[Guest]

I'm splitting this off and moving it to Older Asexuals so that members can discuss renaming it.

Tea Lady Thingy, Site Comments Moderator

[Tanwen]

So, remember this thread anyone? I have to admit, at the time I was totally opposed to any change in the name of the forum but having reconsidered I realise that it has become so much more than it was intended to be. As Ithaca said, I'd already raised the thought in admods then PDT raised it on the open board.

This is not going to be an easy task - to make the forum more attractive to people who haven't discovered it yet without losing what we have. Ithaca suggested 'The Bridge Club' because of the different age groups (the forum 'bridges the gaps' if I remember it right :) ). We need to reassure the real 'oldies' like me and over that this is a good place to be, but also let younger folk know that they're welcome and don't have to be close to retirement to post here.

So give it some thought - it's your forum :D

[cdrdash]

So give it some thought - it's your forum :D

I'm thinking Tanwen. New names (Life Experiences was one ... but it doesn't seem quite right) floating through my head but none have struck me as fitting yet. If I come up with any ideas, I'll throw them out there. Although, I am happy with the current name so I'm not sure how hard I'll think

"Mature Discussions" as a name rubs me the wrong way. It sort of implies that the other forums have immature discussions which I don't think is true.

Cathy

[DracoBorealis]

So give it some thought - it's your forum :D

I'm thinking Tanwen. New names (Life Experiences was one ... but it doesn't seem quite right) floating through my head but none have struck me as fitting yet. If I come up with any ideas, I'll throw them out there. Although, I am happy with the current name so I'm not sure how hard I'll think

"Mature Discussions" as a name rubs me the wrong way. It sort of implies that the other forums have immature discussions which I don't think is true.

Cathy

This. That is all.

[ithaca]

I suggested The Bridge Club when I was severely sleep deprived, to be honest :lol: Literally the first thing that happens almost any time someone mentions old(er) people chatting/discussing, is that I imagine them as in tv, sitting around a table playing bridge for hours. :lol:

Then I thought that actually "bridge" has two meanings in English (as some of you know it's not my first language), not only the card game, and it seemed to fit for the reasons Tanwen said above. This forum had been created once upon a time, when older people felt they needed a place to discuss the challenges not-so-young asexuals face in their lifes with asexuality and else (or so I have read, I was not here). Recently this perception of a gap between generations seems to have been filled by this forum, with the increasing number of 40a, 30s and 20s =P

And you all deserve so much cake :cake: :cake: This forum is just wonderful!

[DracoBorealis]

Or maybe the 5 o'clock Tea Club :P

[cdrdash]

Or maybe the 5 o'clock Tea Club :P

But dang it all, I don't drink tea at 5 and I don't play bridge. But I do rather enjoy brain storming possible names :)

Although the other meaning of bridge works for me. I just don't know if folks would realize it means other than the card game if it was called The Bridge Club.

Cathy

[DracoBorealis]

What popped into my mind was Senior Chatterbox --but that makes me think of old grannies knitting while talking on Skype :D Not saying that's a bad thing though.

[sonofzeal]

Last time around I suggested "The Tea Parlor" as a name that evokes the right sense; there's a connotation of age and dignity without excluding anyone. It does rather cross wires with "Tea and Sympathy" though.

The other one that occurred to me was "The Silver Social Circle", for assonancy-goodness. "Silver" caries a subtle hint to age - silver hair - in a way that's more flattering to those who are indeed rather older, and without being upfront about it in a way that would tend to exclude younger posters.

All that said... "Bridge Club" is quite appealing to me too, and might be my favorite overall.

Possibilities that have been mentioned:

- The Bridge Club

- Mature Discussion

- Older Asexuals

- 5 o'clock Tea Club

- The Tea Parlor

- The Silver Social Circle

- Senior Chatterbox

[Tanwen]

Anyone remember 'Friends'? How about 'Central Perk'?

[ithaca]

I have also thought of The AVENgers, I know it has nothing to do with here, but this is like the coolest forum, and The AVENgers is so cool! :lol:

[runester]

If it ain't broke, don't fix it!

IMO, "Heavy Bananarama" can 'R.I.P.', due to the infiltration of some youngish folk, one of whom, regretfully, I welcomed to the site myself; and who defiled us all by posting a terribly racist 'theme', that was actually 'picked up and run with' by some of our regular members. Another item was a snide go-around, which was aimed at me, that was uncalled for; merely to call attention to themself, but once again, accepted by some regulars.

I will not make jokes of people's language difficulties and blatantly speak violently after the fact. Nor will I participate in attempting to humiliate someone, to salve my own ego.

As my vocal inabilities will not allow me to use Skype anyway, I have fortunately made some fine new friends, and am quite happy.

Back 'on Topic', I feel that Older Asexuals are doing just fine with the open doors already available to younger people on their site. (20+, 30+, 40+, ...past 50, do you date?, and much room for individual threads). Some older people wish to stay with 'their own'! Yes!?! :)

[Tanwen]

I have also thought of The AVENgers, I know it has nothing to do with here, but this is like the coolest forum, and The AVENgers is so cool! :lol:

Now, you see, when you talk of 'The AVENgers', I think of:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n0YOlU3SMgs

:lol:

[toj]

I am rather comfortable with the current name. Unless we start our own site and require screening to join, we will always be having young 'uns coming around to check us out. But I think "Older" dissuades a lot of younger folk, where "Mature"...well any 15 year old can consider themselves to be mature. Tea related things may cause confusion with Tea and Sympathy. I'm a bit young to be even faking "Senior".

[A-Critter]

Hmmm, not sure how to express this in a name, but the theme of "Respect" and "Acceptance" come to mind.

I appreciate Runester's comments.

One problem is that there's a certain population on the internet that will always be attracted to a peaceful place where people generally get along with the desire to disrupt it. In the thirty years I've been around the internet a good solution to this problem hasn't been found.

Just part of the human condition no doubt. :/

[Calligraphette_Coe]

My entry in the Name-That-Forum Sweepstakes: Methuselah's Gazebo.

[sonofzeal]

- The Bridge Club

- Mature Discussion

- Older Asexuals

- 5 o'clock Tea Club

- The Tea Parlor

- The Silver Social Circle

- Senior Chatterbox

- Friends

- Central Park

- Respect

- Acceptance

- Methuselah's Gazebo

Quite the list...

[ithaca]

I think it was "Central Perk" from the sitcom Friends, not a double entry for "Friends" and "Central Park" (Perk is actually the right one) :)

[Tanwen]

You're right, Ithaca :lol:

*And in any poll, 'No Change' is always an option, so we wouldn't need to specify 'Older Asexuals' :) *

[Guest]

[...]"Mature Discussions" as a name rubs me the wrong way. It sort of implies that the other forums have immature discussions which I don't think is true.

Cathy

This. That is all.

+1 :)

[Tanwen]

So that would make the list (so far):

The Bridge Club

- Mature Discussion

- 5 o'clock Tea Club

- The Tea Parlor

- The Silver Social Circle

- Senior Chatterbox

- Central Perk

- Respect

- Acceptance

- Methuselah's Gazebo

- No change.

[Lucinda]

I re-read Beachwalker's thread linked above and it seems that the general consensus at that time was to keep the name Older Asexuals or change it to Older Members, but change the description to reflect that it was a subforum for the 30, 40, and 50+ crowd. A counter to that is that it is not strictly an age thing, but more of a stage in life commonality.

I'm all for change and that, but some good arguments were presented to keep the name the same. Perhaps a look at the description again?? Or if the concern is that not enough people will know about this area, then those concerned could point them in this direction when the folks first join??

What say you? And who are the actual people who will be voting -- the members of this subforum, the whole community, or the admods?

Lucinda

[sonofzeal]

You're right, Ithaca :lol:

*And in any poll, 'No Change' is always an option, so we wouldn't need to specify 'Older Asexuals' :) *

It's a subtle point, but having the option be "No Change" does tend to bias people towards it. People tend to prefer stability, and there's a usually a bias towards keeping it the same that has nothing to do with the actual merits of the name, and wording it that way can reinforce that, especially when there's so much competition from other options and the "change" vote is split up so far. Instead, I might word it like this:

What names do you like? - multiple options allowed

- {list}

What names do you NOT like? - multiple options allowed

- {list}

This avoids the issues of the massively split "change" vote, and allowing multiple options gives a more nuanced picture than a straight "first past the post" system; if a certain option is popular with some but highly unpopular with others, it might be good to avoid that.

[Tanwen]

Good points, Lucinda

I re-read Beachwalker's thread linked above and it seems that the general consensus at that time was to keep the name Older Asexuals or change it to Older Members, but change the description to reflect that it was a subforum for the 30, 40, and 50+ crowd. A counter to that is that it is not strictly an age thing, but more of a stage in life commonality.

You're right in thinking that it's more a case of the kinds of posts made rather than the chronological age of the poster (if that is what you're thinking). It was intended for older members initially but, as I said, things have evolved beyond that.

I'm all for change and that, but some good arguments were presented to keep the name the same. Perhaps a look at the description again?? Or if the concern is that not enough people will know about this area, then those concerned could point them in this direction when the folks first join??

It may be better to look at the description again, it's another option. I wouldn't want the general atmosphere of the forum to change; it's the reason it's such a great place to moderate and, I hope, a good place to visit. Maybe 'personal recommendation' is something else to consider.

What say you? And who are the actual people who will be voting -- the members of this subforum, the whole community, or the admods?

Definitely not just the admods - any poll would be in this forum, but anyone who is eligible to vote would be able to do so. Of course, they'd have to stop by and visit :)

A quote from the original thread (bolding mine). Any more thoughts on this point?

You could call it the "30+ Forum" or "Ages 30 and Up" or "Over 30" forum or something like that.

Yeh something like that would reflect more actually whom the forum is geared towards. And drop asexual from the name like Ladygirl suggested. We all know we are at an asexual website but the Older Asexual forum isn't just for asexual members. Partners, family friends are all welcome.

[dormouse]

'No change' is my vote. Dropping Asexual would leave 'Older' which just sounds pathetic to me. Our forum is for the older crowd, but not restricted to it (like most of these forums). I like the way people use 30+, 40+, 50+, etc in the title. Makes it easy to pick which posts are in my own "older" group and I just go to those usually. So, no change.

[Tanwen]

Does 'The Lounge' mean the same thing in the US as it does in UK? Here it's somewhere with comfy chairs and a place to relax either with family, friends or just a place to get to know people.

[5_♦♣]

What? It's actually called the same thing across the pond? I'm shocked! :o