Not feeling aesthetic attraction?

[Amoebas like cake too]

Pretty obvious what this is about...I don't know why some people are "hot" or "unattractive". I mean, I can look at a girl, and think that she's pretty (I'm a hetero-romantic female) or think that little kids are cute, but when it comes to guys, I just don't get it. My current crush has nice hair and eyes, etc, but he's so ultra feminine looking (despite being biologically male), that I think that doesn't really count.

So, after all those parentheses, my question is, are there any other aces out there who feel the same way? Is this any kind of normal, or am I just deluding myself?

Thanks!

E

[Doxy]

I feel the same way. :)

Whenever anyone is talking about looks, they'll ask me "Do you think that guy is cute?"

And I'm just like "...I have no idea"

People all just look like people to me, honestly. :P

[Significant Form]

Your description sounds a bit like a few others I've heard here, though I couldn't tell you where or when. I haven't any idea whether it's normal. But "normal" is just defined by the majority. Abnormal isn't wrong. Unless your lack of aesthetic attraction causes you some form of distress, I wouldn't call it problematic at all.

[Janus the Fox]

I'm figuring out that I experience short phases of aesthetic attractions, its not all the time though. Whatever the old brain neurons wants to do next...

[runester]

When I find someone/something aesthetically pleasing, it is artistic to me; whether it be mankind or a piece of art.

No matter how you feel, I do not believe you are delusional. :)

[Guest]

I dont get it either. I ask people what it is all about all the time. People looklike people.. i mean i know people look wrong in like a movie role (whimpy guy playing a super hero) but "hot" doesnt register. I find no one attractive. *shrug*

[Philip027]

Whenever anyone is talking about looks, they'll ask me "Do you think that guy is cute?"

And I'm just like "...I have no idea"

Yep, I'm exactly like that.

[Murmur]

When I find someone/something aesthetically pleasing, it is artistic to me; whether it be mankind or a piece of art.

THIS. EXACTLY THIS.

[Mostly Peaceful Ryan]

I don't feel aesthetic at all. I only think someone is pretty or beautiful if I like their personality and who they actually are. Even then I think i like the way they look because it reminds me who they are on the inside. If you just show me random people I don't know I can't tell who is pretty and who is not. I have even gotten in some awkward situations with friends when they all agreed a girl was ugly and I sad she is not bad or even good looking :lol: I honestly can't tell but I don't want friends to know because so much of there time seems to focus on that. I am usually just left there not talking and wondering what is going on

[WhenSummersGone]

When I find someone/something aesthetically pleasing, it is artistic to me; whether it be mankind or a piece of art.

THIS. EXACTLY THIS.

Same with me! Although aesthetic attraction doesn't always play a part in who I'm romantically attraction to, I can still tell when someone is beautiful or not, like a painting. It's interesting to read about others who don't experience this

[Vampyremage]

Moved from Asexual Q&A to A/Romantic Identities.

Asexual Q&A Moderator

Vampyremage

[UraNepu]

aesthetics is not "graaahhh he/she/it is haaawwwwttt"

beauty is something that it's up to every person to decide

for example I might find a certain flower beautiful and the person next to me find it awful, same with humans, if someone fall under my own view of beauty (which is androgyny in my case) then I want to look at them and appreciate their beauty, I am aesthetically attracted to them, that doesn't mean every other person has to be attracted to them as well.

also I'm a person who believes that beauty derives from the inside, so beauty has to do with their personality as well (in my case)

[Amy76]

I cannot tell the difference between so-called good looking and ugly people. Everyone looks mostly the same to me. I am baffled at the celebrities that are meant to be really attractive - they don't look any different from normal to me. I am particularly confused when people comment on people's bodies - I don't know what I am meant to be looking out for. The body is just there to hold the head up, so I fail to see the difference between one persons butt and the next persons.

At work, I had a visit from a sales rep trying to sell me stuff and when he left, my female colleague said to me "Who was that big, handsome man?" and I was like "what handsome man?". I hadn't noticed at all and I could not even remember what he looked like five minutes after he walked out the door.

I can't tell people apart and don't like calling people by their name in case I have got them mixed up with someone else.

[Frigid Pink]

I can appreciate aesthetics.

As far as "aesthetic attraction," ... I don't experience romantic attraction for people based on their appearance. It's usually after I experience romantic attraction for someone that I notice their appearance more. I'll go from, "they look nice," to, "they look gorgeous!"

[Pyro Yoshi]

I guess I'm in the minority here, but I notice a guy's appearance first. There have been plenty of times where I've seen a very attractive stranger and thought to myself, "Wow, he's really hot. I would make out with and cuddle with him for hours!"

Personality really helps too, of course. If I went on a couple dates with a guy I thought was hot and he turned out to have an awesome personality and a good sense of humor, he'd become even more attractive to me.

[zoidberger]

I don't feel aesthetic at all. I only think someone is pretty or beautiful if I like their personality and who they actually are. Even then I think i like the way they look because it reminds me who they are on the inside. If you just show me random people I don't know I can't tell who is pretty and who is not. I have even gotten in some awkward situations with friends when they all agreed a girl was ugly and I sad she is not bad or even good looking :lol: I honestly can't tell but I don't want friends to know because so much of there time seems to focus on that. I am usually just left there not talking and wondering what is going on

This is definitely how I view people for the most part. I can identify aesthetics that people stereotypically find attractive but that's generally as far as it goes.

[shivamirage]

I cannot tell the difference between so-called good looking and ugly people. Everyone looks mostly the same to me. I am baffled at the celebrities that are meant to be really attractive - they don't look any different from normal to me. I am particularly confused when people comment on people's bodies - I don't know what I am meant to be looking out for. The body is just there to hold the head up, so I fail to see the difference between one persons butt and the next persons.

At work, I had a visit from a sales rep trying to sell me stuff and when he left, my female colleague said to me "Who was that big, handsome man?" and I was like "what handsome man?". I hadn't noticed at all and I could not even remember what he looked like five minutes after he walked out the door.

I can't tell people apart and don't like calling people by their name in case I have got them mixed up with someone else.

OK, I feel no aesthtetic attraction towards men that's because I love my spouse so much that I can't see attractiveness in any other men.That's how I felt in every relationship.Everymen seems normal to me.But the problem is I see the differences,for example if a man is muscled I recognize it.I wonder and want to ask people who says they don't feel aesthetic attraction some questions.When you see a woman with very much baggy breasts,I mean her breasts are down to her belly what do you think?Or when you see a man with a huge and very long nose what do you think?When you see a flap-eared person what do you think?I mean you see attractive people and you think they're normal but what about the features which are described as unattractive?what do you feel when you see an abnormal shape?For myself I recognize the abnormal shapes but they don't bother me,sometimes they do but then I realize that they bother me because they aren't normal,usual.When I see a baggy breast I say 'bad' but when I see the same breast after plastic surgery I say 'It's ok now,it's normal'.What do you think about it?Again this question is for the people who say they don't feel aesthetic attraction.

[Philip027]

I wonder and want to ask people who says they don't feel aesthetic attraction some questions.When you see a woman with very much baggy breasts,I mean her breasts are down to her belly what do you think?Or when you see a man with a huge and very long nose what do you think?When you see a flap-eared person what do you think?I mean you see attractive people and you think they're normal but what about the features which are described as unattractive?what do you feel when you see an abnormal shape?For myself I recognize the abnormal shapes but they don't bother me,sometimes they do but then I realize that they bother me because they aren't normal,usual.When I see a baggy breast I say 'bad' but when I see the same breast after plastic surgery I say 'It's ok now,it's normal'.What do you think about it?Again this question is for the people who say they don't feel aesthetic attraction.

I really don't tend to notice those things at all. It's always other people around me that point those out.

[shivamirage]

I wonder and want to ask people who says they don't feel aesthetic attraction some questions.When you see a woman with very much baggy breasts,I mean her breasts are down to her belly what do you think?Or when you see a man with a huge and very long nose what do you think?When you see a flap-eared person what do you think?I mean you see attractive people and you think they're normal but what about the features which are described as unattractive?what do you feel when you see an abnormal shape?For myself I recognize the abnormal shapes but they don't bother me,sometimes they do but then I realize that they bother me because they aren't normal,usual.When I see a baggy breast I say 'bad' but when I see the same breast after plastic surgery I say 'It's ok now,it's normal'.What do you think about it?Again this question is for the people who say they don't feel aesthetic attraction.

I really don't tend to notice those things at all. It's always other people around me that point those out.

And when you notice,what do you think?How do you feel?

[wordforger]

I don't really feel "aesthetic attraction" romantically, platonically, or sexually toward anyone, but I do have a few ideas about what features make someone look nice. I like drawing pretty people because they look nice to me, but my pretty is not the same as someone else's "HAWT". If someone asks me if I think a certain guy is cute or hot, I'm generally at a loss.

All the girls around me could go gaga over a guy that I don't even notice. In fact, it's happened before. We started hanging out with a guy named Mikey. I enjoyed talking to him because he was intelligent and we shared a few of the same interests. Also a genuinely nice person. All the girls around me had crushes on him because he was hot. Go figure. I never noticed.

[Mezzo Forte]

I used to pretty much 100% incapable of aesthetic attraction, where "hot" and "cute" meant absolutely nothing to me, and I could only label the word "attractive" by recognizing what society deems as such. It was always pretty jarring to my friends since I had absolutely no opinions on people's appearances, and usually just went with societal views of beauty in order to give myself a way to stay involved in discussion.

Nowadays, I'm on the dark grey side of the spectrum, and I've noticed that I have a bit of a soft spot for androgyny and gender ambiguity (if that's the right word for it). Other than that, I've always had an appreciation for the beauty of the human eye, though that was never something I tied to overall aesthetic attraction.

[Philip027]

And when you notice,what do you think?How do you feel?

Usually incredulous, wondering why they even care about such things.

[Guest]

I used to pretty much 100% incapable of aesthetic attraction, where "hot" and "cute" meant absolutely nothing to me, and I could only label the word "attractive" by recognizing what society deems as such. It was always pretty jarring to my friends since I had absolutely no opinions on people's appearances, and usually just went with societal views of beauty in order to give myself a way to stay involved in discussion.

Same, still describes me well. I don't get ''hot'' or ''cute'' still.....just today for an art class my teacher was showing adverts showing lots of near naked men showing how social norms for men have changed, anyway, the other girls in my class were drooling, I'm just scribbling notes not taking notice.

I can say, you know, ''that's a nice outfit'' or ''I like your hair'', but not much else.

[Oddplume]

I think I have an idea why some people think others are "hot" and there's piles of information on how to look "sexy". I don't really see it myself. It never sparks a mental or emotional reaction in me. I can make objective inferences of someone's appearance and relate them to why other people like such qualities, but I've always sounded disingenuous when making subjective statements like those listed above.

[acecase]

My sense of aesthetic attraction is pretty much zero. I have never understood the idea that people are cute. When someone asks if a certain male or female is cute/hot/attractive, I always have to shrug or say I don't notice. It never bothered me until yesterday when I had to ask a friend because I was confused by a movie (that's plot involved aesthetic attraction I learned). I am having trouble accepting this. I feel blind.

[Amoebas like cake too]

It never bothered me until yesterday when I had to ask a friend because I was confused by a movie (that's plot involved aesthetic attraction I learned).

What movie was that?

[Guest]

I cannot tell the difference between so-called good looking and ugly people. Everyone looks mostly the same to me. I am baffled at the celebrities that are meant to be really attractive - they don't look any different from normal to me. I am particularly confused when people comment on people's bodies - I don't know what I am meant to be looking out for. The body is just there to hold the head up, so I fail to see the difference between one persons butt and the next persons.

At work, I had a visit from a sales rep trying to sell me stuff and when he left, my female colleague said to me "Who was that big, handsome man?" and I was like "what handsome man?". I hadn't noticed at all and I could not even remember what he looked like five minutes after he walked out the door.

I can't tell people apart and don't like calling people by their name in case I have got them mixed up with someone else.

OK, I feel no aesthtetic attraction towards men that's because I love my spouse so much that I can't see attractiveness in any other men.That's how I felt in every relationship.Everymen seems normal to me.But the problem is I see the differences,for example if a man is muscled I recognize it.I wonder and want to ask people who says they don't feel aesthetic attraction some questions.When you see a woman with very much baggy breasts,I mean her breasts are down to her belly what do you think?Or when you see a man with a huge and very long nose what do you think?When you see a flap-eared person what do you think?I mean you see attractive people and you think they're normal but what about the features which are described as unattractive?what do you feel when you see an abnormal shape?For myself I recognize the abnormal shapes but they don't bother me,sometimes they do but then I realize that they bother me because they aren't normal,usual.When I see a baggy breast I say 'bad' but when I see the same breast after plastic surgery I say 'It's ok now,it's normal'.What do you think about it?Again this question is for the people who say they don't feel aesthetic attraction.

I am pretty oblivious to stuff like that, like I can be in a checkout line and my cashier walks away ... I was just sitting there talking to the woman, but then I am asked what she looked like (since it was taking a while for her to get back) and I am like "uhh, it was female, think the hair was brownish". I would be a HORRIBLE witness for a crime. Example: today there were two people walking in the middle of the lane in a parking lot, I noticed because they were slowing traffic, but all I thought was "omg people why are you walking in the middle not on the side" while my boyfriend thought "wow, that woman has fat arms" and voiced it. I was just like "so?". I've also dated men who are 300lbs or so, while I was wearing a size 5 (sm/xsmall) they were wearing a 3XX and people thought it was so weird for me to be with this guy. I don't care, at all.

There is one thing I notice though which I find looks very WEIRD. When a guy is muscled and they are wearing low cut pants, or underwear, they look like they have a "gap" between the leg and the stomach and it looks so funny to me. I just find myself wishing they'd put some better pants on. :lol: I know these guys are considered attractive by a lot of people, but that part of the male body just looks off to me.

Example:

[WhenSummersGone]

I can agree with that example above^. It looks silly to me and I think that guy would look better with a shirt on actually :P

[Guest]

I can agree with that example above^. It looks silly to me and I think that guy would look better with a shirt on actually :P

Hehe at least I am not the only one. My mother thinks he's so hot with his shirt off :P I just like him cause 1) I like the show and 2) He is a HUGE animal nut and requested fans instead of sending him gifts for his bday, volunteer or donate to animal shelters. :D ... looks I don't care, but those two things are so cool imo.

[acecase]

I wonder and want to ask people who says they don't feel aesthetic attraction some questions.When you see a woman with very much baggy breasts,I mean her breasts are down to her belly what do you think?Or when you see a man with a huge and very long nose what do you think?When you see a flap-eared person what do you think?I mean you see attractive people and you think they're normal but what about the features which are described as unattractive?what do you feel when you see an abnormal shape?For myself I recognize the abnormal shapes but they don't bother me,sometimes they do but then I realize that they bother me because they aren't normal,usual.When I see a baggy breast I say 'bad' but when I see the same breast after plastic surgery I say 'It's ok now,it's normal'.What do you think about it?Again this question is for the people who say they don't feel aesthetic attraction.

I really don't tend to notice those things at all. It's always other people around me that point those out.

And when you notice,what do you think?How do you feel?

Usually if someone points out an attractive person, I ignore their comment because I don't notice that sort of thing and it isn't important to me. However, lately I have wanted to ask 'why do you think he/she is attractive?' I wonder what they would say.