crush on my best friend

[ghostwriter]

I have a crush on my best friend. However, he likes another girl and I'm pretty sure he considers me a sister. I guess what I want to know is, should I wait it out and see if he ever develops feelings for me, or should I just move on?

I keep trying to get over him by telling myself, "we wouldn't be good together" or "he's not the kind of guy I'm looking for", and then my brain bursts my bubble by telling me "actually, you guys would be" or "yes, he is".

There are a few things that would make a relationship sort of hard between us. I just want to know if it would be worth dating him. I don't want to wait to date someone who I know it wouldn't work out with. (By the way, the reason I say "wait to date" is because I can't date til I'm 18. So please don't tell me to ask him out.)

1. When he's older, he wants to be an artist, and when I'm older, I want to live in the woods. That could definitely impair a relationship.

2. I'm ace, and I'm pretty sure he's sexual, possibly gray-a.

Any advice would be nice...

[Comrade Eden]

A few questions for you:

1.) Why can you not date until you are 18?

2.) How old is he?

[Drew Sol]

So I'm going to be frank, and speak from experience (sorry!)

Waiting and hoping it'll magically happen won't make it happen.

[imemyself]

So I'm going to be frank, and speak from experience (sorry!)

Waiting and hoping it'll magically happen won't make it happen.

Exactly.

[ghostwriter]

A few questions for you:

1.) Why can you not date until you are 18?

2.) How old is he?

we're both 15, and my parents won't let me date yet. A lot of people say that I should I just date anyway, but I haven't really found anyone I like who's available. Even if I did, I don't want to disobey my parents unless it's something where I know they're wrong. Sorry about the rambling, I guess I've gotten too paranoid of people calling me a goody-two-shoes :lol:

So I'm going to be frank, and speak from experience (sorry!)

Waiting and hoping it'll magically happen won't make it happen.

I know, I'm not hoping it'll magically happen. I just meant, should I keep crushing on him until I can date, (and if he's single) because I don't want to keep crushing on someone for 3 years if they're not worth it. That's pretty much what I'm asking.

[Comrade Eden]

I would definitely recommend talking to him. You should ask him if he would be willing to wait until you are 18. Until then, you could try to work on your friendship to make sure that it's as strong as you want it to be; you can work your way up to a romantic relationship before you even consider it to be so. It should not be difficult to do this, nor should it be against your parents' will; you would be best friends going to do things together. Later, if you recognise the relationship to be of a romantic/dating sort, you will still be best friends (and simultaneously romantic partners) going to do things together.

Alternately, if you really like him and want to date him now because you think he would be worth it, then your parents are doing something wrong by preventing you from dating him. If he isn't worth trying to get around/offending your parents, then maybe he isn't the right person for you. Then again, maybe he is; you need to decide if you want to risk losing this chance. At the very least, talk to him about the possibility of having a romantic relationship together.

If all of that goes well, and he is willing to wait, or you decide to date him regardless of your parents' opinions, I would also talk to him about your concerns for the future. Tell him about your plans to live in the woods (in whatever capacity), and ask him about his plans. You can discuss the possibility of the two plans working in harmony, or you could possibly discuss a compromise. Also, discuss your feelings on sex with him. I know that some people will tell you to avoid that topic, but I think it is good to get that out of the way. If he will eventually want sex and you're okay with sex, it may not be a problem. If you don't want sex,and he's okay with not having sex, it may not be a problem. If you never want sex, and he does want sex, it will probably become a problem - though there are possibly ways that you could make it work.

And you called your response a ramble...

(tl;dr) If you want the opportunity, whether immediately or in the future, talk to him about everything (all your concerns, and attitudes towards relationships).

[princesspeach]

So I'm going to be frank, and speak from experience (sorry!)

Waiting and hoping it'll magically happen won't make it happen.

Exactly.

I had a crush on my best friend, and he pretty much told me he didn't ever like me and never will. So I gave up hope haha, but somehow he changed his mind and now we're dating... But I guess I am a minority :S

[Comrade Eden]

I had a crush on my best friend, and he pretty much told me he didn't ever like me and never will. So I gave up hope haha, but somehow he changed his mind and now we're dating... But I guess I am a minority :S

Of course, you may also be a minority in that many people don't have friends who say or feel like yours did. Though I suppose it's good that he didn't actually feel that way.

[Guest]

Speak to him and ask him if he likes you as more than a friend. If so, then you have something to build on. If not, then move on. If someone doesn't like you in that way you can't force them to. My best friend is someone I dated in the past and it didn't work out, so we kept the friendship going. If it is strong, it won't hurt your friendship to ask. Though it wouldn't be fair to ask him to wait 3 years to date.

[ghostwriter]

Okay thanks.