How do you feel about public restrooms?

[Chrysanthalis]

I'm really shocked no one has brought this up yet, so I will. Where I come from, we used to have unisex bathrooms with multiple stalls. Generic restroom. But, men liked to rape women in those bathrooms when no one was around. I realize that there isn't a force field that scans for your sex when you enter a room, and men can still go into women's restroom, but it is less likely if the restrooms are separate.

I didn't even consider that.

Most people don't. That's why I love Wanda Sykes' idea of a detachable vagina.

:D Yes please!!!! :lol: especially if you could detach it during your periods...but I digress. :lol:

I completely concur. You. Have. No. Idea.

Oh, I do, totally. :lol: I've wanted to detach my entire reproductive system before...damned cramps.

Mine are so debilitating I can't even move.

Oh. :( That is not fun. I've had ones where I passed out, ones where I couldn't even sit up let alone stand, and ones where I didn't want to move. They've been getting better, though.

[Jillianimal]

I'm really shocked no one has brought this up yet, so I will. Where I come from, we used to have unisex bathrooms with multiple stalls. Generic restroom. But, men liked to rape women in those bathrooms when no one was around. I realize that there isn't a force field that scans for your sex when you enter a room, and men can still go into women's restroom, but it is less likely if the restrooms are separate.

It's weird, the only problem I could think of of just going with unisex bathrooms would be that it'd give more people one more easier public place to have consentual sex in. Some how making it one more easier place for rape to happen never came to mind That became a regular occurance?

(wtf how did I always do well in my English classes??)

[cleuchtturm]

@maven and jillianimal, I've heard of quite a few rapes in public bathrooms, both unisex and separate. I haven't heard of any from the gays or lesbians, but I'm also not cruising publications for police reports, and most rapes go unreported sadly.

Just my two cents.

[Midori Ace]

I am not a fan of public restrooms. Hygeine issues aside, walking into a womens restroom feels like making a public declaration that I am female. I am not. I am agendered, I think, and I prefer to appear androgynous. I do not think gender should matter so much, and it bothers me how often one is forced into a binary choice, whether that is deciding which restroom to use, or being told that one cannot leave the gender field blank while making a new email address or doing an online quiz (seriously, why do they need to know?).

[The Chaos Heart]

I hate the idea of different restrooms. Seriously, why can't we just have unisex bathrooms? That's how the world was for god knows how long. It's far more efficient.

[reasonsfordefyingreason]

I'd like to see more unisex restrooms and I've never really understood why some people are so oposed. Incidentally I don't get all the scenes in movies where a male character accidently winds up in the woman's bathroom and they all freak out. It's not like a changing room where he could actually see anything. Also I walked into a men's room in a supermarket to tell my brother to hurry up once and my entire family was utterly stuned that I would do something like that. "you were in the MEN'S ROOM! " it didn't look any different from the woman's exept for the urinals.

[AmoebaAssociate]

I agree with the unisex toilet idea. It would make me feel a whole lot more comfort and my transgender friend who is prone to panic attacks lately would see it as a miracle :D Highly in favor, lets start a movement! :D

[cleuchtturm]

I'd like to see more unisex restrooms and I've never really understood why some people are so oposed. Incidentally I don't get all the scenes in movies where a male character accidently winds up in the woman's bathroom and they all freak out. It's not like a changing room where he could actually see anything. Also I walked into a men's room in a supermarket to tell my brother to hurry up once and my entire family was utterly stuned that I would do something like that. "you were in the MEN'S ROOM! " it didn't look any different from the woman's exept for the urinals.

I was at the mall with a few friends once, and there was only a one stall type bathroom for each sex and we all had to go. I just walked into the mens room. No one was in it, and no guys were waiting to use it, so why not?

I also don't understand why the movies always depict women screaming when a guy walks in. Like you said, not like it's a changing room.

[Gloom]

I would prefer that unisex bathrooms were more common simply because I like to minimize the amount of everyday/casual instances that draw attention to the fact that I am female, and this is one of the few remaining such things in the culture I live in. In general, I think it would be a good thing for anyone who has similar objections to segregated bathrooms.

To give an example, the other day I was working on homework with some friends and paper towels were necessary. We were in a public building. One male friend reported that there were no paper towels in the men's restroom and requested that one of us female people kindly step into the women's restroom and obtain some. I asked him why he didn't just go in and get some. It's not like it was a high traffic area, and all he needed to do was pop in and grab some paper towels. He said he didn't find that necessary when he had people around him who could "legitimately" do so. In such a situation, I feel like I'm being thought of as a gendered individual or categorized somewhere where I shouldn't be categorized, and I don't want that to happen.

I never even considered that sex and/or rape would occur with greater frequency in unisex bathrooms because I don't think about these things. This makes me reconsider (but not withdraw) my support of the idea. On the one hand, there could just be a third unisex bathroom everywhere, but that would increase upkeep costs for everyone and be a pain.

[The Chaos Heart]

I have a feeling that rape would not go up at all if unisex bathrooms were around. I mean, bathroom rape would be more common now. With a smaller number of people going into select rooms, it makes it easier for two individuals to be alone in a restroom. If both sexes were heading to the same area, there would be a much greater chance of not being alone. If anything, unisex bathrooms would make bathroom rape go down.

[MinusCelsius]

I have a feeling that rape would not go up at all if unisex bathrooms were around. I mean, bathroom rape would be more common now. With a smaller number of people going into select rooms, it makes it easier for two individuals to be alone in a restroom. If both sexes were heading to the same area, there would be a much greater chance of not being alone. If anything, unisex bathrooms would make bathroom rape go down.

This makes sense.

As for myself, I try to avoid public restrooms whenever possible. (I also avoid public whenever possible, so I basically never use public restrooms these days.) In general, there has never ever been a female person complaining about males in "their" restroom if the guy told them he's just there because the restroom for men is way filthier and he simply doesn't feel like standing kneedeep in shit and garbage.

[Valentyne]

Females look at me strangely when I use their restroom on days I look more androgynous. I'm always afraid someone will speak up.

Oh, I know what you mean. So well, though they speak up very often with me. A look of panic "Am I in the right restroom?" I usually growl a yes, not because I am irritated at their inability to tell (truth be told that kind of makes me happy) but the moronic breach of common etiquette, they don't know that I am presenting as androgynous, so surely they must know that if I were female, it would be extremely insulting. Bad manners just infuriate me.

Though I am considering some better comebacks.

"...no"

"Ah yes, ma'am, don't worry about it, sorry about that, the women's rooms are usually cleaner, so I use them."

I had some other ones, but they're not coming to mind right now. Though this utter lack of propriety usually happens at work so it might be frowned upon to upset the customers.

[Oswald]

I like that the women's restrooms are generally cleaner, but I like the way men's rooms operate where nobody really stops to chat. That's probably EXACTLY why women's rooms tend to be more crowded, and every time I use one with stalls instead of just one toilet I always end up overhearing somebody else's conversation, which is awkward.

[Great Thief Yatagarasu]

I'd like to see more unisex restrooms and I've never really understood why some people are so oposed. Incidentally I don't get all the scenes in movies where a male character accidently winds up in the woman's bathroom and they all freak out. It's not like a changing room where he could actually see anything. Also I walked into a men's room in a supermarket to tell my brother to hurry up once and my entire family was utterly stuned that I would do something like that. "you were in the MEN'S ROOM! " it didn't look any different from the woman's exept for the urinals.

I was at the mall with a few friends once, and there was only a one stall type bathroom for each sex and we all had to go. I just walked into the mens room. No one was in it, and no guys were waiting to use it, so why not?

I also don't understand why the movies always depict women screaming when a guy walks in. Like you said, not like it's a changing room.

This isn't really anything important, but this whole talk reminds me of something funny that happened to me when I was a kid.

I remember when I was about...eight years old? During primary school, anyway, and I was waiting for my male best friend (ten years later, he's still my bro) to get out the toilet. I didn't go in there...but I got curious, so I asked him through the door what the boy's toilets were like. And apparently, according to the people who overheard me, this was further evidence that I liked him and would date him when I was older. Yes, REALLY. Because to a young child's mind, asking a kid of the opposite sex what the toilet he goes in is like is practically the same as an undying declaration of love. :D For years, up until the first or second years of high school, people were so sold on the concept of this guy being my boyfriend that no one would ever shut the fuck up about it, and this was apparently one more bit of "evidence" for that. Yeah, I'm confused too.

[Member47750]

I'm sorry this is sort of random but this topic made me remember

Weird.

I like that the women's restrooms are generally cleaner, but I like the way men's rooms operate where nobody really stops to chat. That's probably EXACTLY why women's rooms tend to be more crowded, and every time I use one with stalls instead of just one toilet I always end up overhearing somebody else's conversation, which is awkward.

I will never, for the life of me, understand the compulsion to stand around and chat in a restroom.

I would be so distracted, you don't even know. Mirrors and people and noises and biological processes and *flails*

[cleuchtturm]

This isn't really anything important, but this whole talk reminds me of something funny that happened to me when I was a kid.

I remember when I was about...eight years old? During primary school, anyway, and I was waiting for my male best friend (ten years later, he's still my bro) to get out the toilet. I didn't go in there...but I got curious, so I asked him through the door what the boy's toilets were like. And apparently, according to the people who overheard me, this was further evidence that I liked him and would date him when I was older. Yes, REALLY. Because to a young child's mind, asking a kid of the opposite sex what the toilet he goes in is like is practically the same as an undying declaration of love. :D For years, up until the first or second years of high school, people were so sold on the concept of this guy being my boyfriend that no one would ever shut the fuck up about it, and this was apparently one more bit of "evidence" for that. Yeah, I'm confused too.

That's hilarious!

[Azure.Providence]

I find the rape argument to be faulty.

First of all, all men are treated as potential rapists. Most rapists are men but only a very small percentage of men actually try to rape anyone. It is similar to the argument that women need to wear veils and burkas because men cannot control themselves.

Secondly, if the rapist is willing to commit such a heinous act I don't see how a "Women's Only" sign is going to stop the person from entering and hiding in one of the stalls.

Also, I have never seen any evidence that unisex bathrooms alone increase the number of rapes.

[Oswald]

I like that the women's restrooms are generally cleaner, but I like the way men's rooms operate where nobody really stops to chat. That's probably EXACTLY why women's rooms tend to be more crowded, and every time I use one with stalls instead of just one toilet I always end up overhearing somebody else's conversation, which is awkward.

I will never, for the life of me, understand the compulsion to stand around and chat in a restroom.

I would be so distracted, you don't even know. Mirrors and people and noises and biological processes and *flails*

I just don't get why anybody would ever feel a need to hold a conversation with somebody while using the toilet. I'd do it if you paid me but I don't think I'd be able to avoid the topic of using the toilet. "Sounds like you're peeing in there, mate. I think I'm constipated. Maybe you could linger by the hand dryer while we continue this train of thought."

[CDSM]

It's a tricky issue. Related is the whole locker room/changing room thing. And why we have different locker rooms at the pool for the sexes, for instance. But why?

It's a convention.

Some people are not comfortable being naked in front of the opposite sex. That's the norm that's been trained into most people. Yes, they are comfortable in from of the same sex. Why is that? Is it a sexual thing? But then, you wouldn't be comfortable with a gay person of your sex. And indeed, a lot of people *aren't* (though how much is homophobia in general, I couldn't say). Some are comfortable if it's a gay member of the opposite sex. Some aren't still. And all combinations thereof. Some aren't comfortable changing in from of anyone (I'm certainly not, then again, if it was people I was comfortable with in general, their sex/orientation wouldn't matter, I guess).

Like most gender-related things, there's way too many complicated issues to ever fully solve them without completely breaking down the system and building it up again.

It makes me wonder... in a world where all gender identities are part of the mainstream, how would they handle these things? Would it be individual stalls for everyone in these things?

As it is now, there's not an easy fix.

[AmoebaAssociate]

I know I've already posted here but just a quick question, how many of you use the disabled toilets as opposed to using your assigned gender's facilities?

[Oswald]

I've never seen a separate disabled toilet, just gendered disabled toilet stalls within the already-gendered restrooms.

[AmoebaAssociate]

Really? I use the disabled toilet all the time! Every single one I have come across has been separate and frankly they are miraculous.

[cleuchtturm]

I've never seen a separate one either. If the men's and women's are one stall, by default it is a disabled as well.

[Great Thief Yatagarasu]

On the issue of disabled toilets - if they're free, yes, but I always get paranoid about using them in case I keep an actual disabled person waiting.

[5_♦♣]

The only time I (think) I've come across a disabled unisex toilet was at a convenience store. I used it, but only because I really had to go and there wasn't another washroom for miles.

[AmoebaAssociate]

There are very little disabled people tend to use the toilets and, gauging from what my uncle says, it's due to it still being to much hassle. As such, I feel no shame in using it.

[SleepIncarnate]

Wow, reading through this all, I have to add my two cents.

First, on the rape argument, I really hate when people use the rape argument in regards to restrooms. It's the same argument often used to try and keep trans people out of the restrooms for the gender we identify as. As a trans woman, one still in that limbo between the sexes, I'm at risk of attack and/or rape in either restroom, but I just want to go in, pee, and leave. The reason I'm more at risk there is because people have such an issue about people who are gender non-conforming using a gendered restroom. If I use the men's room, I'm looked at as a woman in there. If I use the women's room, I'm looked at as a man in there.

Second, public restrooms, unless they're unisex/family restrooms, are downright nerve-wracking and terrifying to use, for the above mentioned reasons.

Third, unisex/family restrooms are awesome. All others, no.

Fourth, gay/lesbian people are not necessarily more accepting than straight people when it comes to the restrooms. There are lots of transphobic people in the LGB community. So even at a gay/lesbian club/bar/whatever, it's a hit or miss risk using the restroom.

[AmoebaAssociate]

Wow, reading through this all, I have to add my two cents.

Public restrooms, unless they're unisex/family restrooms, are downright nerve-wracking and terrifying to use.

Third, unisex/family restrooms are awesome. All others, no.

I agree with this

[Pyro Yoshi]

I like that the women's restrooms are generally cleaner, but I like the way men's rooms operate where nobody really stops to chat. That's probably EXACTLY why women's rooms tend to be more crowded, and every time I use one with stalls instead of just one toilet I always end up overhearing somebody else's conversation, which is awkward.

This is not always true. I worked maintenance at McDonald's from last August through February of this year, and I can say that the women's bathroom was ALWAYS dirtier. This wasn't some shitty ghetto McDonald's, we kept a pretty clean store, and one of my maintenance jobs was to clean the bathrooms every morning. Honestly, the worst thing I ever found in the men's restroom was some puke on the toilet seat. But the women's? That's a whole different animal. There would be turds or used bloody tampons floating in the toilet for the whole world to see, pee on the floor, and on more than one occasion, I found boogers wiped onto the wall. Not only that, but I'd often find empty cups and tampon wrappers laying on the floor.

That's just my experience, though.

As for why women talk to each other when using the bathroom, I'll never know. If I have to poop, I'm not going to take my friends into the bathroom with me and blather to them while I do it.

[Great Thief Yatagarasu]

I like that the women's restrooms are generally cleaner, but I like the way men's rooms operate where nobody really stops to chat. That's probably EXACTLY why women's rooms tend to be more crowded, and every time I use one with stalls instead of just one toilet I always end up overhearing somebody else's conversation, which is awkward.

This is not always true. I worked maintenance at McDonald's from last August through February of this year, and I can say that the women's bathroom was ALWAYS dirtier. This wasn't some shitty ghetto McDonald's, we kept a pretty clean store, and one of my maintenance jobs was to clean the bathrooms every morning. Honestly, the worst thing I ever found in the men's restroom was some puke on the toilet seat. But the women's? That's a whole different animal. There would be turds or used bloody tampons floating in the toilet for the whole world to see, pee on the floor, and on more than one occasion, I found boogers wiped onto the wall. Not only that, but I'd often find empty cups and tampon wrappers laying on the floor.

That's just my experience, though.

As for why women talk to each other when using the bathroom, I'll never know. If I have to poop, I'm not going to take my friends into the bathroom with me and blather to them while I do it.

My God, that's one of my biggest complaints about ANY public toilet - those motherfuckers who can't be arsed to flush the godadmn toilet. I mean, I once had to use the loo at a KFC once, and I had to wait for this woman to leave (since they only had one toilet) - she opened the door, saw me and actually smiled at me as she squeezed past to use the sink, and it was only when I'd gone in and locked the door that I realised she'd not flushed. She KNEW I was there, she had seen that I was going to go in there...and she didn't fucking flush. That ALWAYS gets on my tits.