How many people even feel extremely uncomfortable talking about sex?

[Sally]

But why is sex somehow different than almost any other topic with the expectation that it should be private?

Because it's about the most intimate relationship you can have with another person and if you blab about it to other people, you're kind of betraying that intimacy. Why would any one want to have their sexual activities with their partner talked about with other people? It's not like one partner talking about a good restaurant both partners went to last night.

This.

It´s hard to imagine for me but if I were sexual and my partner talked with his friends about our sex. life I would feel so betrayed and degraded that I would probably break up with him. It takes me months or years to start to trust to someone and this trust is very easy to break.

I´m very shy, introverted, cagey and reserved so it might be partly a reason why I would feel so bad about it.

Would this extend to other people talking talking about their own sex lives in which you were not a part of?

For myself, I don't feel responsible for or betrayed by what other people say about their lives. But I'm sure not interested in their sex lives.

[Syzygy]

For me, when someone talks about their sex life, I tend to feel as I would if they were sharing details of, say, their body fungi and spotty rashes - or their bowel irregularities with me. Ie., bodily function things that are squirmy, squishy, and TMI.

[Saineolaí]

Not at all! As a matter of fact, I seem to be far more comfortable talking about sex than most of the sexuals I know - I simply do not attach any particular significance to the act.

[Hallowitch]

I also feel extremely uncomfortable talking about it, I happen to have a particular aversion to the topic, part of why I'm asexual I suppose. But I do agree that blabbing about it seems to be betraying that intimacy, which is why I feel very odd whenever I was "chick flicks" and the like when the characters go into intimate details about their sex lives with their girl friends. I'm always like "Do people actually DO that?!"

[The Great WTF]

I also feel extremely uncomfortable talking about it, I happen to have a particular aversion to the topic, part of why I'm asexual I suppose. But I do agree that blabbing about it seems to be betraying that intimacy, which is why I feel very odd whenever I was "chick flicks" and the like when the characters go into intimate details about their sex lives with their girl friends. I'm always like "Do people actually DO that?!"

<_< Yep. They do. It's a sign of how strange our culture has gotten that something generally considered very intimate and personal is now a favored topic of discussion. I think my lack of modesty in general and my 'don't give a damn' attitude about sex is why I don't mind it so much.

[Hallowitch]

I also feel extremely uncomfortable talking about it, I happen to have a particular aversion to the topic, part of why I'm asexual I suppose. But I do agree that blabbing about it seems to be betraying that intimacy, which is why I feel very odd whenever I was "chick flicks" and the like when the characters go into intimate details about their sex lives with their girl friends. I'm always like "Do people actually DO that?!"

<_< Yep. They do. It's a sign of how strange our culture has gotten that something generally considered very intimate and personal is now a favored topic of discussion. I think my lack of modesty in general and my 'don't give a damn' attitude about sex is why I don't mind it so much.

I'm a pretty modest person usually, so I guess that partly contributes to it. To me though, the whole concept of talking about something that's supposed to be so...intimate, and supposed to (Key word: supposed) bind two people together, etc. It just seems to cheapen it when you talk about it with someone else. Then again, given how society's gotten these days, I shouldn't be surprised. In the...four blocks that I walk to work in NYC, I pass two strip bars.

[Gallifreyan]

When conversation turns to sex, my fingernails suddenly become the most interesting thing in the world...or the patterns on the wall...or pretty much anything else within the room.

[fugu]

First of all I find it disrespectful when someone is talking about sex with their partner with details. I think sex is very private matter, so WHY they are talking about it with other people than their SO???

And another reason why it makes me feel uncomfortable is that I have nothing to talk about, I´ve never had sex, I don´t understand what is so amazing about it... and almost all sexual practices seem simply disgusting and degrading to me.

^This relates to me and I don't get any sexual jokes either, makes me feel uneasy and bored at the same time

[Hallowitch]

First of all I find it disrespectful when someone is talking about sex with their partner with details. I think sex is very private matter, so WHY they are talking about it with other people than their SO???

And another reason why it makes me feel uncomfortable is that I have nothing to talk about, I´ve never had sex, I don´t understand what is so amazing about it... and almost all sexual practices seem simply disgusting and degrading to me.

^This relates to me and I don't get any sexual jokes either, makes me feel uneasy and bored at the same time

I rarely get the jokes, my friends explain them to me all the time but even so, I don't find them...funny. Which is why I don't find primarily raunchy and sex-driven comedies funny either when it comes to movies or TV.

[Rhaenys]

First of all I find it disrespectful when someone is talking about sex with their partner with details. I think sex is very private matter, so WHY they are talking about it with other people than their SO???

And another reason why it makes me feel uncomfortable is that I have nothing to talk about, I´ve never had sex, I don´t understand what is so amazing about it... and almost all sexual practices seem simply disgusting and degrading to me.

Agreed with that part.

You're having sex ? Good ! I don't want to hear or know about it or the details whether it be friends or family. <_<

Yes I find it to be an uncomfortable ( repulsed sce lol ) and uninteresting topic. I also hate it when people boast of their sexual conquests like they saved a life or something.

What I want to know is why should sex be a private matter? For some people it is and they don't talk about their own sex lives and I think that's fine. But why is sex somehow different than almost any other topic with the expectation that it should be private? Boasting about sexual conquests might be in bad taste but many things are in bad taste. In addition, there is a big difference between boasting about conquests and having a reasoned discussion about sex.

I understand how a sex-repulsed Ace might prefer not being around sexual conversation. But to say a word like disrespectful implies a value judgement on the topic. Shouldn't it be up to the people directly involved whether or not they decide that it is a private matter? I don't get it at all and I don't get why sex and sexuality are treated so differently than almost everything else. Why is it considered such a taboo subject by so many people?

What I meant with my post was that yes I know it's up to the couple whether it should be a private matter or not but my repulsiveness or how much I can tolerate isn't decided by them. Talking TMI things to me directly I feel is like disrespecting my comfort zone. About boasting How is the fact that someone got 3 guys / girls in 1 night supposed to be impressive to me ? I don't understand it.

Ok I hope I didn't offend anyone but

With my post I speak for myself and I cannot do it for others and I did not mean to attack anyone. OP asked who was uncomfortable / shrugs and that was what I was replying to. Not if it a private matter , immoral or taboo . I apologize again if I sounded judgmental

[Sweet and Tender Hooligan]

In general, no, I don't feel super uncomfortable. Not my ideal conversation topic, but not too bad.

I do have a limit, though. For example, at lunch a year or two ago a friend (well, really just an acquaintance) started a long, vulgar conversation about sexual stuff. That made me uncomfortable... I mean, I'm trying to eat, and he's talking about genitals, body fluids, etc.

Although if someone goes into details of their own sex life, it's just TMI for me.

[Harkins]

Not at all! As a matter of fact, I seem to be far more comfortable talking about sex than most of the sexuals I know - I simply do not attach any particular significance to the act.

I think this sentiment took the words out of my mouth, at least to some degree.

My friends at home always kept sex a private matter with me because I'm a virgin, and they felt I wouldn't understand. I've gathered that they talk about it more openly when I'm not around, but that's speculative based on their behavior around me. Apparently being a virgin completely removes all sexual curiosity and the ability to Google :lol:. For some reason they've equated my not talking or having sex with prudishness, but in reality I just don't have much to say that hasn't been said.

As for the friends I met in college, I just think it's a more open environment there, and I have some friends were the discussion becomes inevitable. I consider myself sex positive, it's just not always my favorite topic because I can only provide so much insight to people. For me sex is academic and I think I'm pretty desensitized now thanks to the friends I keep (anime, where nothing is shocking anymore), so I almost wish I had more things to say about it when the discussion came around.

[Carsonspire]

I also find talking about personal sexual experiences inconsiderate and/or inappropriate unless all of the people involved agree that it's okay.

However, I find the theories of sexuality and especially queer theory to be utterly fascinating and will discuss them at length with friends.

[The Great WTF]

I also feel extremely uncomfortable talking about it, I happen to have a particular aversion to the topic, part of why I'm asexual I suppose. But I do agree that blabbing about it seems to be betraying that intimacy, which is why I feel very odd whenever I was "chick flicks" and the like when the characters go into intimate details about their sex lives with their girl friends. I'm always like "Do people actually DO that?!"

<_< Yep. They do. It's a sign of how strange our culture has gotten that something generally considered very intimate and personal is now a favored topic of discussion. I think my lack of modesty in general and my 'don't give a damn' attitude about sex is why I don't mind it so much.

I'm a pretty modest person usually, so I guess that partly contributes to it. To me though, the whole concept of talking about something that's supposed to be so...intimate, and supposed to (Key word: supposed) bind two people together, etc. It just seems to cheapen it when you talk about it with someone else. Then again, given how society's gotten these days, I shouldn't be surprised. In the...four blocks that I walk to work in NYC, I pass two strip bars.

*has spend far, far too much time in strip clubs for an asexual woman* That, I think, is one of the keys to it. Sex is put on a pillar as something sacred and intimate by a large portion of society while the other half of society (people like me, for example, or a good portion of the male sexual population) think of it as just another activity. The two mindsets clash a lot, most definitely in situations where certain people are okay discussing sex and others are not. My mom, for example, flinches if you so much as start talking about what gender you're attracted to. My dad, on the other hand, apparently gave my siblings a very... interesting... "the birds and the bees"-type speech on good sex when they started high school that could either be considered mortifying or a wonderful, if graphic, bit of advice.

I've noticed that I'm totally comfortable discussing sex as a whole, even my own sexual experiences, but for whatever reason I'm not comfortable with people analyzing my experiences if that makes any sense. Maybe it's because I'm fairly self-confident normally and sex, since I've only got a half-assed understanding of it at best and a non-existent libido, isn't exactly something that I have much confidence in.

[gymgirl]

To me it is extremely repulsive, so I strictly avoid it.

I once as a child hat to vomit during sex ed in school, and that was really tame. And my aversion has not got less pronounced since.

Nowadays, when such topics arise, I just leave. Of course people who know (and sometimes even like) me try to prevent such situations.

[MadRat]

First of all I find it disrespectful when someone is talking about sex with their partner with details. I think sex is very private matter, so WHY they are talking about it with other people than their SO???

And another reason why it makes me feel uncomfortable is that I have nothing to talk about, I´ve never had sex, I don´t understand what is so amazing about it... and almost all sexual practices seem simply disgusting and degrading to me.

^This relates to me and I don't get any sexual jokes either, makes me feel uneasy and bored at the same time

I´m usually OK with sex jokes because they don´t break anyone´s privacy. They are about some fictional characters. And some of them are funny - they well describe how stupid some sexuals behave sometimes. :lol:

[Ronny]

Not uncomfortable. More contemptuous. I can't help it. I am surrounded by people who are utterly shameless. All they bleat on about is sex, sex, sex. As if it's the be-all and end-all. All of their pitiful, humdrum existences culminating with the thrill of a quick rumble in the hay.

I've grown to hate the common herd and their lack of decency or shame. If you live your life with dignity and restraint, you have my respect. But if you insist on telling me who you slept with, how many times you did it and what different posistions you used, I'm just going to think you're a braindead cretin.

It's all so pointless. It really is, sweating sacks of flesh exchanging bodily fluids. And somehow this base, crude act is the subject of every song, of every 'meaningful' sentiment, it's a social currency, it's an obligation. And because I'm asexual and because I'm a virgin I'm less of a man than these disgusting parasites. These parasites who look at me blankly and say 'Asexual? So what, you're gay?'

I shouldn't hate them, they don't know any better. But I have grown to hate them, I really have.

[Pamcakes]

Oh, hey, guys, we have another ascended being on the forums, come and see!

P.

[Vampyremage]

*stares in awe of the ascendant being* :P

[Sephiroth]

Yeah, I feel uncomfortable talking about it. I normally just change the subject. It is bad enough the thought of it bothers me, but talking about it outside the internet is just uncomfortable for me.

[Ronny]

Oh, hey, guys, we have another ascended being on the forums, come and see!

P.

Ascended being? Whatever floats your boat. In fact, I'm inclined to agree with that term. Because I am not the one who spends the majority of his life thinking with his genitals. And guess what? I'm not the kind of man who would ruin his life by getting some girl pregnant and starting a family he never wanted. All they can do is breed and breed and breed, just like lice. It's their whole purpose.

I've watched them live their lives and all I see is the same comedic farce played out in every life. The same pointless, pitiful cycle of blind romance, heartbreak and the delusion that one should change themselves to 'find love'.

Of course I'm better than that.

[asexyfire]

I try not to think about it, only to recognize its existence in a generic abstract form. I mean, I don't actually think too much about people I know *doing it*.

[Winston Marrs]

I can discuss asexuality and things related to sex on this forum, but in real life, just talking or hearing about sex makes me extremely uncomfortable. When I was in a relationship, my ex wanted to discuss our future sex life, and I was always like, "Can we talk about it some other time?" and ran away. It really made me uncomfortable, and I just can't stand it. Does anyone feel the same way?

I always avoid talking or letting others talk about it in front of me. I find it quite rude, vulgar and it completely disturbs and annoys me. I am from the school of thought that people should keep such things to themselves and if they really absolutely must discuss it with someone other than their partner, then they should seek professional or medical advice.

Unfortunately for me people I barely know will start discussing sexual topics or situations. I think my generation in my area is quite hypersexual or highly focused on sex.

It makes me uncomfortable to the point where if I here people discussing it I will scold them and remind them how vulgar and inappropriate it is and/or that I do not wish to be subjected to such language. Of course this is seen as being rude or being prudish. (I dont know why prude is a bad word these days since it means honorable woman in old french and refers to someone who is moral and upstanding.)

[Its_Zoya]

It totally grosses me out .Like "seriously,no one wants to know what you get upto inside closed doors.That is the why the doors are CLOSED."

I'm the kind who makes dirty jokes and lols at the double entendres.But I pretty much want to vomit if they ever go into details.Exactly why I never sexted either.It makes me really uncomfortable.

[Breathing....]

I dont mind it as a conversation.... but I dont like to think of people I know and care for doing it. I actually think it was a friend getting a boyfirend and becoming sexually active that made me begin to realise I was 'different'. If she mentioned relations with her partner I would get extremely squeemish and now its a bit of a running joke :/ I am not yet out to anyone IRL so I assume they dont realise how uncomfortable it can make me. At the same time I feel like if I am not part of these discussions I miss out on large parts of my friends' lives....it seems to be such a huge thing for them, why it led to my questioning why it was something I didnt want.

[Schrecken]

For me it all depends on who is doing the talking and why. For instance, many years ago I remember my best friend giving me a blow by blow description of her sexual activities with her boyfriend (we were both just out of high school then, and she had never had sex with anyone before this particular guy, and of course I never had sex with anyone either). I didn't mind that too much (though she would really run on and on about it sometimes and it would get old), probably because I was curious and that she was my best friend and we shared pretty much everything and were like sisters. And also situations where it might be important to me or pertain to me in some way, like if I had questions for a doctor or other medical professional, and also I've been discussing some sexual things with my current kink partner, because, well, I think we are becoming more than just kink partners and some things need to be discussed.

But in general, just having other people around in close proximity discussing graphic sexual stuff is something I'd rather avoid if possible.

[MadRat]

First of all I find it disrespectful when someone is talking about sex with their partner with details. I think sex is very private matter, so WHY they are talking about it with other people than their SO???

And another reason why it makes me feel uncomfortable is that I have nothing to talk about, I´ve never had sex, I don´t understand what is so amazing about it... and almost all sexual practices seem simply disgusting and degrading to me.

Agreed with that part.

You're having sex ? Good ! I don't want to hear or know about it or the details whether it be friends or family.

Yes I find it to be an uncomfortable ( repulsed sce lol ) and uninteresting topic. I also hate it when people boast of their sexual conquests like they saved a life or something.

What I want to know is why should sex be a private matter? For some people it is and they don't talk about their own sex lives and I think that's fine. But why is sex somehow different than almost any other topic with the expectation that it should be private? Boasting about sexual conquests might be in bad taste but many things are in bad taste. In addition, there is a big difference between boasting about conquests and having a reasoned discussion about sex.

I understand how a sex-repulsed Ace might prefer not being around sexual conversation. But to say a word like disrespectful implies a value judgement on the topic. Shouldn't it be up to the people directly involved whether or not they decide that it is a private matter? I don't get it at all and I don't get why sex and sexuality are treated so differently than almost everything else. Why is it considered such a taboo subject by so many people?

There´s a thing I can never understand about sex: on one hand, people (sexuals) say how they need to have sex with their partner because it is so intimate and important thing, because sex is important in intimate relationship, lack of intimacy hurts them etc...it´s still showed as something INTIMATE.

And then they go and talk about explicit details of their "intimate" life...So how the Hell is it intimate life? What is intimate about it when they share it with anyone?

So someone must be lying here or I must be totally incapable of understanding sexuals. Sex IS treated like something more special and different than anything else, so I don´t get why it should suddenly be treated as playing football or going for a trip. People who talk about sex do it obviously to impress others, show how cool and in they are and how the others are inferior, prudish fools if they don´t do everything what is possible (or impossible) to do. AND THIS IS JUST DISGUSTING!

People who talk all the time about sex are one of resons why I became sex-repulsed, so it is not so harmless. And I have a damn right to be judgemental about things which hurt me and which I hate with my whole heart.

[seneca]

Most of the time I think "Why are we even talking about this?"

[WhenSummersGone]

I can only take a joke or two and same with random sex topics. If it goes on for too long I get repulsed.

[WünderBâhr]

I wonder if, maybe, people presume that if I have a problem with talking about it that i'll voice it. And also presume that others wouldn't have an issue with listening, bc it's sharing conversation? Or even that, if I go "ew", then i'm just being goofy or childish and don't see a problem with the subject, themselves.