Beyourownspotlight Posted June 13, 2011 Share Posted June 13, 2011 Okay, so Im not sure where this topic belongs, so I posted it here. This might be a bit of a weird question, but I've been wondering if any other aces' have the same sort of fascination. I've posted a few times about my ex, well I've not known I was asexual for very long, I was toying with the idea last year but any way, I didn't start identifying as such until a few months ago. BUT whilst I was with my ex, I'd kinda go with the flow in terms of sexual activities that he initiated. Nothing too bad. I'm not grossed out to the max by sexual things, I just don't see why everyone is so obsessed, it's kinda boring. But any way, while we'd be messing around, I'd be watching his reaction. Which sounds weird, but I love watching the way he reacts to different things. I find it so interesting, I think it's mostly because I don't have a reaction to the same stuff. So my question to you, any aces' who are/have been in a relation with a sexual, or been in a sexual relationship find themselves fascinated by their partners reactions? Link to post Share on other sites
farbo1176 Posted June 13, 2011 Share Posted June 13, 2011 Even as a sexual I find the other person's reaction the best part. I love it when I hear the other person short of breath when we're kissing. Or low moans if I'm doing something much more mature. I love seeing the half lidded look or someone's eyes closed after a kiss is done, wanting more or completely satisfied. Just...reactions in general are what motivate me, more so than my own sex drive. If I see that I'm getting no reaction, I'll stop. Link to post Share on other sites
Vampyremage Posted June 13, 2011 Share Posted June 13, 2011 The reactions often confused me. I remember when I was with sexuals struggling to read their unspoken signals in order to interpret what was working and how well and when to move onto something different. The reactions themselves were interesting but I think I found it somewhat stressful as well because I was always trying to interpret what I should be doing based upon those reactions and what I shouldn't be doing. Anyone else find it difficult to read into such things? Link to post Share on other sites
Beyourownspotlight Posted June 13, 2011 Author Share Posted June 13, 2011 Some reactions can be a bit difficult to read, or easily mistaken as something else. So I have to agree it can be a bit stressful, but all the same I love watching them. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted June 13, 2011 Share Posted June 13, 2011 Depends. If I were to feel forced to do something I don't want to do, then I'd be extremely uncomfortable about everything, and the partner's reactions would scare me. However, I can engage, and have engaged in the past, in a few pseudo-sexual activities that didn't bother me. I still didn't have any kind of response, neither physically nor emotionally, to such acts; although my partner (now ex) felt really good about it, and that made me happy. Speaking of non-sexual contact (hugs, kisses, cuddles) I've always loved it and also loved the emotional sharing in those actions. Feeling the other person was as happy as I was about being close together was my main reason to enjoy it. Link to post Share on other sites
Gottkomplex Posted June 18, 2011 Share Posted June 18, 2011 To me, my partner's happiness has always been the most important factor in the relationship. And so I think that perhaps watching his reactions lets me know that he actually is happy. So I do have a fascination with it as well. Link to post Share on other sites
The Great WTF Posted June 19, 2011 Share Posted June 19, 2011 One of the reasons I enjoy having sex is because I love my boyfriend's reactions. I spent days researching different sexual fetishes and practices in order to figure out the best way to get responses out of him and I've just about got it down to a science now. The breathy little noises he makes are just adorable and the look of absolute adoration and pleasure I can put on his face is wonderful. I'll admit that it's a bit of a power trip, too, knowing that I can do something like that to another person. I found out recently that if I completely shut off my libido, I can shut him off as well. He can't enjoy sex if I'm not, which I find kind of strange since he has no problem with masturbation. <_< Link to post Share on other sites
chris.christine Posted June 22, 2011 Share Posted June 22, 2011 Glad I'm not the only one. I'm willing to engage in semi-sexual things because I enjoy watching his reactions, but I also enjoy doing my best to pull the reactions out of him. It's how I occupy my mind during those times, and I find that when he enjoys it, I do. It is almost a power trip for me. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.