What is a friend?

[Lors]

This is a question that's been bugging me for, like, forever.

I usually see things as black or white, so I have trouble grasping concepts of grey-coloured things such as friendship.

Just wondering if any of you could define what a friend is to you?

When is someone a friend and when is someone just a person you know?

What do you expect from a friend?

Do you have different types of friends?

I'm very interested to hear what everyone thinks.

P.S. is there actually a difference between Off-A and Just for Fun? I wasn't sure where best to stick this.

[-V-]

I think the silly things go in just for fun. While something even half serious would go in rantings/off-a/relationships.

[Guest]

A friend is someone who is there for youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu

[Jayann]

A friend is someone who is there for youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu

(((Hallmark)))

[mizkitty2107]

A friend will help you kill an abusive spouse/boyfriend AND help you get rid of the body! :lol:

[Carsonspire]

Haha. I love the Dixie Chicks reference, mizkitty.

A friend is someone who is there for you, someone you can can talk to freely about anything. A friend is someone you know well and who knows you well.

I differentiate between acquaintances and friends. I have many acquaintances through classes and activities, but I have only a few true friends.

[Asmodues]

An acquaintence is someone you know, and can do small talk with. A friend is someone you can confess in, a friend is someone who will help you out, a friend is someone who doesn't keep a running tally.

And so on. Let's get some 5th graders on this, they're good at this kind of stuff.

Oh, and different countries have a different view on the "friend" thing. I know americans have a reputation for overusing the word.

[bard of aven]

I go with Aristotle on this: True friends are two bodies that share a single soul.

(He also delineates two lower levels of friendship, utiltiy and something else. It's in the Nichomachean Ethics but it's tired and I'm late.)

boa

[KAGU143]

A Friend Is ...

...a shoulder to lean on

when you need support,

a pat on the back when you do well,

and a sympathetic ear when you fail.

A friend is a person you can laugh with

about everything,

you can cry with, without shame,

and whom you trust completely.

A friend is a partner in life

and a part of you always.

.............. Brian Bindschadler

...someone who is always ready and willing

to share in your laughter, your tears, your

dreams, your failures, your secrets, and

your celebrations.

.............. Jane Andrews

Two sturdy oaks I mean, which side by side,

Withstand the winter's storm,

And spite of wind and tide,

Grow up the meadow's pride,

For both are strong.

Above they barely touch, but undermined

Down to their deepest source,

Admiring you shall find

Their roots are intertwined

Insep'rably

............... Henry David Thoreau

I guess I'm in a sappy mood

Anyway, my personal definition of friendship is pretty simple:

A friend of MINE is someone who knows me extremely well and still likes me despite that, and whose happiness is therefore more important to me than my own.

-Greybird

[KidKash]

This is a question that's been bugging me for, like, forever.

I usually see things as black or white, so I have trouble grasping concepts of grey-coloured things such as friendship.

Just wondering if any of you could define what a friend is to you?

When is someone a friend and when is someone just a person you know?

What do you expect from a friend?

Do you have different types of friends?

I'm very interested to hear what everyone thinks.

P.S. is there actually a difference between Off-A and Just for Fun? I wasn't sure where best to stick this.

I've noticed a lot people misuse the word, "friend," as well. When I think of a friend, I think of a friend as someone you trust, someone with whom you spend time on your own volition, and someone who'll help you through rough times. This same person has to think and do the same to you as well.

Someone I know: I usually just have quick conversations with these people.

Friend: I usually do some sort of activity with these people.

I'm really not clingy but I do expect my friends to call and check on me just to see how I am doing. If there is no other reason, just check to see that I'm still breathing.

I don't know if these are necessarily different types of friends, but sometimes you feel closer to some friends than others.

[Dargon]

Friends are the people who stab you in the front

-Oscar Wilde

[LonePiper]

A friend is someone you don't even have to like. In a relationship, its a lot more important to like them.

Hell, I don't like a few of my friends, but they're my friends, so I stick with them.

[endofthespiral]

Along with someone who will help you kill and hide bodies a friend also doesn't make you want to turn them into a body.

[SorryNotSorry]

What is a friend? Non-existent.

[Shockwave]

A friend is someone whose companionship you cherish.

[Heimdall]

A friend is someone that will not hurt you unless it is necessary for your well being, someone you can trust, someone who will help and comprehend you, someone you will agree with on what's important, and peferentially someone for whom you would do exactly the same.

[Lors]

Thanks everyone.

Although, according to you (and me), I've never had a true friend in my life (not looking for sympathy - simple fact). I think my idealised version of a friend is very rare.

I've had friends who I considered to be friends but don't actually fit what I've settled on as my definition of a friend - sounds a bit odd, but they were just people I felt comfortable approaching and talking to without feeling guilty or like they're judging me.

I like having people around me I can say hi to and speak generally (i.e. some human interaction) but I don't feel I need to have friends, I rely on my family. It's probably because I'm so shy (honestly, i'm not a horrible person, I just find it difficult to make friends :D ).

It's interesting how none of you mentioned sharing common interests as important, because I've always believed (possibly mistakenly) that to be foundations of every friendship.

I don't like it when people use the word friend loosely. My parents are always asking me if I'm going out with my friends, and I always reply "no, I'm going out with my housemates/some people I know. We're not friends."

You've all got me thinking a lot now, and about to go very off topic so I'll stop here.

[Silly Green Monkey]

I think friends have to be people that you see on a regular basis. I may consider old friends to still be friends, but I can't really say that I know them if I haven't seen or talked to them for over a year. I suppose I expect a friend to be like me, (because I think everyone is like me until they prove otherwise), and tend to drift away from people who I don't understand. My current friend (who I am NOT looking forward to moving away from and never seeing again (and hope I don't see him as one of my subjects)) is a person that I do understand. We have a bit in common, and have classes together. However, we're not as close as when we ate lunch and dinner together followed by long walks. We'd like to be, but the time just isn't there.

I don't understand people who change their feelings/relationships/emotions quickly. I always wonder how they can hate this person now when they thought the world of them before.

[starsong]

I think my working definition of a friend is something like "someone who I like and care about, (and who likes me and cares about me,) and who I talk about interesting things with"

[starsong]

It's interesting how none of you mentioned sharing common interests as important, because I've always believed (possibly mistakenly) that to be foundations of every friendship.

I think common interests are important to my definition of friendship too.

[CrazyCanuck]

Acquaintances - people I can greet by name and who can greet me by name

Friendly acquaintances - the above people with whom I can also carry on a 5 minute or longer conversation

Friends - the people who accept me warts and all, I feel comfortable with them, we can talk endlessly but are also comfortable being quiet together, common interests are good (even more to talk about). And we can travel together without eventually wanting to kill each other. There aren't many people who fit into the friend category for me and there are different degrees of "friend". There really are only about 6 people I consider really close friends, four of whom are my siblings. And another 2 or 3 friends that really aren't that close but are definitely closer than the friendly acquaintances.

[Live R Perfect]

Acquaintances - people I can greet by name and who can greet me by name

Friendly acquaintances - the above people with whom I can also carry on a 5 minute or longer conversation

Friends - the people who accept me warts and all, I feel comfortable with them, we can talk endlessly but are also comfortable being quiet together, common interests are good (even more to talk about). And we can travel together without eventually wanting to kill each other. There aren't many people who fit into the friend category for me and there are different degrees of "friend". There really are only about 6 people I consider really close friends...

Yup! Thats how it works for me too

[KidKash]

I suppose I expect a friend to be like me, (because I think everyone is like me until they prove otherwise), and tend to drift away from people who I don't understand.

That's where I would probably differ from you. I would not have to understand my friend, nor would he/she have to understand me in order for us to be friends. The only thing we have to understand is that we enjoy each other's company which is why we're friends.

[VivreEstEsperer]

I don't like it when people use the word friend loosely. My parents are always asking me if I'm going out with my friends, and I always reply "no, I'm going out with my housemates/some people I know. We're not friends."

I struggle with the usage of the word "friend," too.

I have a couple people who I call friends; the rest I struggle with varying words to use and describe them, what level do they fit, etc etc.

What is my definition of a friend? That is a good question.

I would, Lors, definitely include common interests in my definition. Well, it's not required - I just don't see how you could have a good friendship without it though - you'd have nothing to talk about.

Someone who I feel knows me, to some degree; someone who I can feel comfortable in their presence and not (too) self conscious; someone with whom I can have somewhat deep and personal conversations with; someone who I feel (somewhat) supported by. I guess that would be my definition of a friend. There are differing levels of friend, of course, and differing levels of the above, and to determine what puts someone in the "friend" category and what puts someone in the "acquanitance" category is an enigma indeed.

By the definition I have given above, I might add, online friends fit in as well. Obviously interacting with someone in person is most often a more powerful experience...but it is worth nothing that online friends can definitely fill at least some of the above needs.

I have many times wondered the same thing in the past myself, though, Lors. I have many times wondered if it would be possible to have one. So you're not alone there. I hope you are able to find someone who can fit your personal description of friend - it's hard, I know. How old are you?

Kate

[Metaleaf dan Blorie]

According to the Sims, a friend is someone with whom you have more than fifty relationship points. :? God I'm such a geek.

Now you've got me wondering about what a friend is, too. There are people that I see and interact with every day - but are they really my friends? I don't know.

There are a few people I do very definitely consider to be my friends. They're generally people I've known a long time and with whom I share a lot of interests and personality traits. They tend to go out of their way to help me, and I them.

[Automaton]

Here's my old definition of "Friends", aided by a very good friend I used to have! :D

Friends spread rumors about you

Friends like to take credit for things you've done

Friends are people who have the right to punch and kick you

Friends will always get their way

Friends will start to steal your computer projects and ideas.

Friends will never stop threatening to kill themselves. (This goes on for years)

Friends will start whining when you start to loose sympathy for them.

Friends will cry and have tantrums and tell you that they're going to make your life a "living hell".

Friends threaten your only place of safety from them - your internet life.

After you have the guts to get away from the friends, the aftermath is they try to do the same things they did to you when they were still friends. It still happens now.

Eventually you come to the conclusion: "I want him to kill himself."

The ending's good though. I changed my screenname, escaped every child in the real world (as he would just manipulate them against me and they suck anyway - just not as much as him), started projects for just me to own myself, and escaped his full wrath possibly forever. : )

[anima]

~An acquaintance: Someone I can call by name (sometimes not) with whom I can have ~5 minutes of conversation.

~A friendly acquaintance: Someone I can call by name, with whom I can have ~60 minutes of conversation, and/or with whom I have engaged in activities such as movie-going/watching (anime counts in this), roleplaying.

~A friend: Someone I can call by name and with whom I can have ~>60 minutes of conversation. But there must be a deeper connexion between us than just "friendly acquaintance" which is why I have so few true friends. In order for someone to make it to "friend" level they can have never done anything trust-breaking. (Exceptions of course are for those who were here or higher and did break trust.)

~A non-corps friend/family: My godmom, my godmom's mom, and the girl who is my godmom's actual godchild. (Explanation: My godmom "adopted" me as a godchild several years ago.)

~A corps friend/family: I have to have marched a season of drum corps with you for you to be at this level. Not all people I march with can get to this level. Out of the 99 other people I marched with this summer, there are about 10-15 who I might say are here.

~A family : Not biologically, but psychologically family. There is maybe one person who's here. If I end up spending the rest of my life with someone, they damn well better be here.

"A true friend stabs you in front."

If someone betrays my trust they automatically are at "acquaintance" forever. No exceptions whatsoever.

If they break my trust they lose part of what we had, and can be knocked down a level.

[NOTE] Now, I don't think you can truly betray someone's trust unless you do it on purpose. If you say/do something that would be betrayal if intentional, then you have "broken" my trust. It's forgivable but it takes a while for you to get back where you were.

Wow, I seem to have a "nice" hierarchy of acquaintance/friend/family... Damn.

[Lors]

You, you seem to have it sorted. I like structure.

VivreEstEsperer/Kate, I'm 20.

According to the Sims, a friend is someone with whom you have more than fifty relationship points. God I'm such a geek.

I love the sims. At one time I actually played it so much that my brain automatically started rating all my relationships with family and friends. I also started seeing icons in the top left hand corner of my vision ordering all the things I was going to do in the next few minutes.

Thankfully, time didn't start moving at one minute a second.

I cut back on playing after that...

[Aeireono]

Well, I've never gone that far, but I have on occasion pictured my room score going up and down as I walk around. That can't be a good sign.

[Metaleaf dan Blorie]

Ha, I've done those things too. I haven't actually waved my hands in the air and yelled at an invisible person looking at me through a computer monitor, but I figure it's only a matter of time.

In the new one, your Sims have desires - so I've started classing things I want to do as those. :shock:

Right now it's "Play the Sims 2".

Also: "Finish all of my work and sleep."

Darn conflicting aspirations . . .