FrozenCherry Posted February 27, 2011 Share Posted February 27, 2011 You can have asexual long distance marriage and keep a ring :) Or then you can just say you have long distance relationship and keep a ring. It is true that all men does not honor rings either... I am far away from beauty queen but when just ask it like bread or something... Link to post Share on other sites
4thquad Posted February 27, 2011 Share Posted February 27, 2011 I came across this site and maybe someone can use this service. http://www.rentafriend.com/home/ I could rent myself out as chef/baker. I have always been the guy to invite to a party,,,,to help cook that is. I also considered leasing myself out during Chrismas for cookie baking. Link to post Share on other sites
joplin Posted February 27, 2011 Share Posted February 27, 2011 I came across this site and maybe someone can use this service. http://www.rentafriend.com/home/ I could rent myself out as chef/baker. I have always been the guy to invite to a party,,,,to help cook that is. I also considered leasing myself out during Chrismas for cookie baking. That is pretty cool. Maybe it has some merit. Thanks for the heads up. Link to post Share on other sites
LaughingWolf Posted April 11, 2011 Share Posted April 11, 2011 I've found that generally when I hang out with my brother or with a male platonic friend, that other guys don't bother. I have never been hit on when with another male. Which is pretty disappointing when I AM looking for a romatic relationship. :lol: Link to post Share on other sites
FrozenCherry Posted April 12, 2011 Share Posted April 12, 2011 I've found that generally when I hang out with my brother or with a male platonic friend, that other guys don't bother. I have never been hit on when with another male. Which is pretty disappointing when I AM looking for a romatic relationship. :lol: It is easy to find sexual boyfriends but not asexuals. Link to post Share on other sites
lifegoeson Posted April 15, 2011 Share Posted April 15, 2011 I've never used Acebook, but I wonder if there are people there who might be up for something like this. I am, I'll be honest, a bit surprised that a few people have said 'you shouldn't go to bars/nightclubs'. This is ENTIRELY the fault of the men invading your personal space, and you should not have to feel like you have to stop yourself from going out and having fun because of it. I should point out this is also a problem for many of the sexual women I know. I think you have every right to come up with ways to go out and enjoy yourself without having your night ruined by creeps. A best-male-friend, if you can find one (or several) that you don't mind hanging out with a *lot*, is a semi-decent solution. Hopefully one day people will start to realise that it's not cool to be a creep. :( Link to post Share on other sites
oneofthesun Posted April 15, 2011 Share Posted April 15, 2011 I've never been down to Naples myself, but I thought it was mostly overrun with rich elderly white guys. All the horny creeps I've run into have been rich elderly white guys :lol: Link to post Share on other sites
Tanwen Posted April 16, 2011 Share Posted April 16, 2011 Who often seem to be attracted to much younger women (trying to recapture their youth perhaps ;) ) Link to post Share on other sites
oneofthesun Posted April 16, 2011 Share Posted April 16, 2011 ... Or, much younger men. Link to post Share on other sites
Kelly Posted April 17, 2011 Share Posted April 17, 2011 Some good ideas here! :) *contemplates a few* Yes, Marcia, I have a boyfriend; his name is George. Do you want to talk to him? Link to post Share on other sites
Sally Posted April 17, 2011 Share Posted April 17, 2011 Not to defend the horny old creeps, but frankly, young women look a hell of a lot better than old women. Just as young men look better than old men. :lol: Link to post Share on other sites
Samael Posted April 17, 2011 Share Posted April 17, 2011 From what I've observed, generally females get "hit-on" by males more frequently than males do by females. Considering this, as an asexual I sure am glad that I'm male. From what I've studied, sexually minded people are primarily attracted to immaterial qualities, like confidence that is projected through a certain kind of body language, that is, "an energy or vibe". Perhaps changing the body language to be closed or absent, as contrary to confident, open and engaging, might deter the "sex-starved apes" from lusting after your body. After all, even though initially attracted to non-physical qualities, in the end sexual attraction targets a person's body only, not their persona or character. Link to post Share on other sites
Unbanned Posted April 17, 2011 Share Posted April 17, 2011 Does no one find that sort of interest flattering? Link to post Share on other sites
Sally Posted April 17, 2011 Share Posted April 17, 2011 Does no one find that sort of interest flattering? I did. I didn't find it upsetting to be considered attractive. Link to post Share on other sites
oneofthesun Posted April 18, 2011 Share Posted April 18, 2011 Not when it comes from someone old enough to be your father. Link to post Share on other sites
Unbanned Posted April 18, 2011 Share Posted April 18, 2011 Does no one find that sort of interest flattering? I did. I didn't find it upsetting to be considered attractive. Yeah. I would be pleased with that kind of attention too, regardless of my sexual preferences. Link to post Share on other sites
Stormy Wether Posted April 18, 2011 Share Posted April 18, 2011 Perhaps changing the body language to be closed or absent, as contrary to confident, open and engaging, might deter the "sex-starved apes" from lusting after your body. After all, even though initially attracted to non-physical qualities, in the end sexual attraction targets a person's body only, not their persona or character. Trouble is that the most persistent of the "ape" types either don't recognise back-off signals, or choose to ignore them :( Link to post Share on other sites
Samael Posted April 18, 2011 Share Posted April 18, 2011 Then you must be more direct in turn. Actually spell it out to them in that case to back off. You don't have to surrender your body to someone just because they are persistent :) But I suppose most people intuitively read body language signals though and "sense" it's better to move on. Link to post Share on other sites
Ase of Spades Posted April 18, 2011 Share Posted April 18, 2011 Does no one find that sort of interest flattering? Technically, I do, but at the same time I find it kind of (for lack of a better word) demeaning. I'm actually really put off when it comes to compliments on my appearance or body (Unless they're from good friends and family) because I feel like I'm being judged purely on how I look and not myself as a person. When it comes to actual sexual interest, part of me is flattered because I must look attractive for this person to bother with me. At the same time, however, it makes me feel disgusted and dirty to be seen that way; this person isn't interested in me because sie knows me, wants to get to know me better, or pursue an actual relationship with me; sie doesn't even really like me! I'm just a means to and end, a hole to stick it in, or a blow-up doll that talks, which just adds insult to injury. :( I'd rather be complimented on my personality or talents than my body. Laconic version: Sexual attention makes me feel completely objectified and less of a person, even though I'm flattered for the first two seconds. Link to post Share on other sites
TheEvaTree Posted April 18, 2011 Share Posted April 18, 2011 Does no one find that sort of interest flattering? Technically, I do, but at the same time I find it kind of (for lack of a better word) demeaning. I'm actually really put off when it comes to compliments on my appearance or body (Unless they're from good friends and family) because I feel like I'm being judged purely on how I look and not myself as a person. When it comes to actual sexual interest, part of me is flattered because I must look attractive for this person to bother with me. At the same time, however, it makes me feel disgusted and dirty to be seen that way; this person isn't interested in me because sie knows me, wants to get to know me better, or pursue an actual relationship with me; sie doesn't even really like me! I'm just a means to and end, a hole to stick it in, or a blow-up doll that talks, which just adds insult to injury. :( I'd rather be complimented on my personality or talents than my body. Laconig version: Sexual attention makes me feel completely objectified and less of a person, even though I'm first for the first two seconds. Bravo! Wow, I couldn't have said that better myself. That's exactly how I feel when it happens. And it does happen occasionally, at age 32, although I'm not being chased around anymore like when I was teen till late twenties - almost every day I felt like the very last piece of Kentucky Fried Chicken on planet Earth, almost everywhere in the public surroundings...Phew, thank goodness I don't experience it to that degree anymore. Link to post Share on other sites
rlib Posted April 18, 2011 Share Posted April 18, 2011 If you don't mind faking it, you can probably fake it solo. Just say "Thank goodness! I've been waiting for a man to support me and my five children!" whenever someone hits on you. If they're still hitting on you after that, mention how hard it is to find a job that pays enough to support five kids when you have AIDS. Link to post Share on other sites
Sally Posted April 18, 2011 Share Posted April 18, 2011 Not when it comes from someone old enough to be your father. That depends on how old you are and how ageist you are. A 40-year-old woman isn't necessarily creeped out by interest from a decent-looking 60-year-old man. I suppose an 18-year-old would be creeped out by interest from a 40-year-old man, because 18-year-olds think 40 is old. Link to post Share on other sites
Ase of Spades Posted April 18, 2011 Share Posted April 18, 2011 Just say "Thank goodness! I've been waiting for a man to support me and my five children!" whenever someone hits on you. If they're still hitting on you after that, mention how hard it is to find a job that pays enough to support five kids when you have AIDS. That made me laugh so hard! I wish I could shake your hand. :lol: Link to post Share on other sites
Unbanned Posted April 19, 2011 Share Posted April 19, 2011 Does no one find that sort of interest flattering? Technically, I do, but at the same time I find it kind of (for lack of a better word) demeaning. I'm actually really put off when it comes to compliments on my appearance or body (Unless they're from good friends and family) because I feel like I'm being judged purely on how I look and not myself as a person. When it comes to actual sexual interest, part of me is flattered because I must look attractive for this person to bother with me. At the same time, however, it makes me feel disgusted and dirty to be seen that way; this person isn't interested in me because sie knows me, wants to get to know me better, or pursue an actual relationship with me; sie doesn't even really like me! I'm just a means to and end, a hole to stick it in, or a blow-up doll that talks, which just adds insult to injury. :( I'd rather be complimented on my personality or talents than my body. Laconic version: Sexual attention makes me feel completely objectified and less of a person, even though I'm flattered for the first two seconds. But surely you don't expect every single person to come up and ask questions to they can judge you on your personality instead? I mean, if you caught someone in the city, who you'd never seen before, checking you out, would you feel objectified then? Link to post Share on other sites
Ase of Spades Posted April 19, 2011 Share Posted April 19, 2011 But surely you don't expect every single person to come up and ask questions to they can judge you on your personality instead? I mean, if you caught someone in the city, who you'd never seen before, checking you out, would you feel objectified then? That first part's kind of tricky. On one hand, it shows sie acknowledges I'm a person with my own thoughts and feelings and not just a means of getting laid. On the other hand, if the only reason sie's asking about my personality is to see if sie has a shot at banging me or sie's trying to manipulate me, then it's just as devestating (if not worse) as being solicited solely because I'm attractive because I was tricked into thinking sie actually gave a damn about me when all sie really wanted was a sex toy that moans. Either way, I lose, so I guess it doesn't really matter. Asking questions would just be the slightly lesser of the two evils because sie's at least trying to get to know me. Personally, I'd rather be completely ignored and just blend into the background. As for the second part, I'd feel more afraid/uncomfortable than flat-out objectified. I have social anxiety issues and I'm constantly worried/scared of what other people think about me or how they see me. The only way I really cope with going out in public by myself is to tell myself "Just ignore everyone else and pretend they can't see you; they don't care about you, so don't worry about what they might be thinking; just keep going about your business and don't do anything to attract any attention." When I look up and see someone checking me out or looking at me longer than one or two seconds, it sends my mind into panic mode and I just want to hurry up and get away from them, or make them disappear somehow. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted April 19, 2011 Share Posted April 19, 2011 Not when it comes from someone old enough to be your father. That depends on how old you are and how ageist you are. A 40-year-old woman isn't necessarily creeped out by interest from a decent-looking 60-year-old man. I suppose an 18-year-old would be creeped out by interest from a 40-year-old man, because 18-year-olds think 40 is old. I've seen elsewhere on AVEN people say that it's ageist to be insulted by attention from older men. But I disagree. If these old men are attracted to me solely because I am so much younger than them, then I can be repulsed by them solely because they are so much older than me. I'm offended by the persistent attention from older men, because honestly, I take it for granted that they will be attracted to me. I'm far younger (and to them, better-looking) than any woman they can attract with their own merits. It's not flattering to be valued simply for being young and female, it's objectifying. They certainly aren't interested in my personality! Link to post Share on other sites
oneofthesun Posted April 19, 2011 Share Posted April 19, 2011 That depends on how old you are and how ageist you are. I think it depends on the circumstances. Aren't we talking about getting hit on in a bar here? That's quite different from being asked out by an older man after you've known each other for a while. Link to post Share on other sites
Sally Posted April 20, 2011 Share Posted April 20, 2011 That depends on how old you are and how ageist you are. I think it depends on the circumstances. Aren't we talking about getting hit on in a bar here? That's quite different from being asked out by an older man after you've known each other for a while. I think being asked out by anybody you've known for a while is creepy unless you've definitely shown an interest in them, even if you're the same age. When I got divorced at 32, suddenly all my ex-husband's friends asked me out, which was extremely creepy. Not all older mean are attracted to all younger women, Killjoy. But I think it's more likely that any given man will be more attracted to young women than older women because, as I've said, younger women do tend to look better. Physical attraction is---physical. Link to post Share on other sites
Data Posted July 19, 2011 Share Posted July 19, 2011 Does no one find that sort of interest flattering? I did. I didn't find it upsetting to be considered attractive. I just found it annoying, usually I am thinking about something interesting, and flirting is so dreadfully boring. Link to post Share on other sites
graven Posted July 19, 2011 Share Posted July 19, 2011 I went to a gun store two days ago to get a new front sight for one of my handguns, and got hit on there too. Apparently women who own guns are a major turn-on for guys. I gave him my best .50 caliber look and left. Ya know, I realize 'girls with guns' are regarded as 'hot' and all... (I'm a female shooter by the way, too, but strictly recreational, no combat training) But the 'horny creep' who hits on a girl who owns and shoots guns seems to be an ideal candidate for the Darwin Awards. Link to post Share on other sites
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