sleepflower Posted December 3, 2010 Share Posted December 3, 2010 Hello everyone. i joined this site last night after lurking for a few hours and realising that i identified with a lot of the posters here, i decided perhaps this is the place for me. I am 26 years old, female and from the uk. I crave love, romance, affection and companionship. but with every boyfriend i have had i have been unable to desire them sexually, its like a mental block. i have zero need for sex, zero desire for it, and could happily live the rest of my life without it easily. does this make me asexual? i don't know. i am very confused, but i have always suspected there is something not right with me regarding sex. the boyfriends i have had have not been able to comprehend my lack of desire for sex and always end up getting frustrated and either leaving me or cheating on me, which has led to my heart being broken many of times. i am currently in a relationship with a man that is highly sexual and i cannot engage with him on that level, no matter how hard i try i do not get aroused, as a result our relationship is currently very strained and i feel we are drifting apart which breaks my heart since i do care for him very much. my biggest fear is ending up alone for the rest of my life, and this sad realisation makes me very depressed. my head is a mess with it all. Link to post Share on other sites
Ace in the Hole Posted December 3, 2010 Share Posted December 3, 2010 Welcome! Have some From what you described, you certainly sound like you could be asexual. Surf around here and the AVEN wiki and you'll get a better feel for what you are. Many aces crave physically intimacy (sexual or otherwise) and are absolutely able to enter into and maintain relationships, even with sexuals. I'm not gonna lie, it's probably gonna be difficult and require compromise, but that's the case with most relationships. Keep trying and be upfront about your boundaries and expectations. Focus on bettering your life here and now; stressing out about the future is fruitless (we humans aren't too great at extrapolating - I'm certainly not where I thought I'd be 5 years ago). Link to post Share on other sites
dkafnkldjsalkfj Posted December 3, 2010 Share Posted December 3, 2010 I am also a 26 year old female and can relate somewhat to your sitution. I am aromantic (I don't like being affectionate, romantic, or emotional), so I have even more frustrations with relationships. Guys always complain that not only do I not like or want sex, I don't like or want anything else that comes with being in a relationship. For me, I seriously doubt I will ever get married or have children. I think I would prefer just to have a close guy friend. I would spend some more time visiting this website and like Ace in the Hole suggested Aven Wikki. Once you decide if this is who you are (which it sounds like it is), I would sit your boyfriend down and talk to him. Hopefully, he will be understanding, but in the end, each of you will need to do what is best for yourself. Best of luck to you. Link to post Share on other sites
sleepflower Posted December 3, 2010 Author Share Posted December 3, 2010 thank you for your replies. Did you feel utterly confused before you decided you were asexual? did you feel scared to admit it? to admit you were different to everyone else? Link to post Share on other sites
hamham Posted December 3, 2010 Share Posted December 3, 2010 Hi & welcome- I'm another 26 year old female, also from the UK! Before I came across AVEN, I had no idea that there were other people like me and I felt completely lost and confused. I'm still coming to terms with who or what I am, but don't try and hurry yourself. There are plenty of fab people here to chat to and I hope you find it as helpful as I have Link to post Share on other sites
XxFallenAngelxX Posted December 3, 2010 Share Posted December 3, 2010 hey, welcome to aven!!! i'm new too. n.n yeah, i'm pretty sure you're asexual. some asexuals want romantic relationships while not being interested in sex. those who like romance are romantic asexuals, and those who don't are aromantic asexuals. >:3 Link to post Share on other sites
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