Discovering Sexuality

[Big Willy]

Hi everybody,

My name is William and I am a very sexual being. Now before you guys pelt me with rotten tomatoes, lemme just say that I was once just like you. In fact, had I discovered this forum at a different time, I would probably have thousands of posts by now!

See, all my life I never understood what the big deal was with sex. I thought my guy friends were just a bunch of juvenile losers who would lose their cool whenever a pretty girl walked by. After years of watching my friends and family put themselves through so much drama, I decided sex wasn't worth the headache and stayed celibate well into my 20's. Everyone thought I was crazy..or gay, but I simply felt I had better things to do than have sex...it really wasn't that complicated to me.

Everything changed the day I got into a terrible car accident that left me bed-ridden for almost a year. With a broken neck, I was lucky to be alive and the doctors told me how I had narrowly escaped total paralysis. After my recovery, they put me on physical therapy to get my muscles working again. It was slow going, but I could see myself improving day by day. I got so used to my rhythm of constantly pushing myself, that even after I had reached my "normal" state, I kept it up. Eventually I started to get really fit. I was running 5 miles a day, practicing Tai Chi and doing tons of calisthenics. I got pretty ripped and was starting to get a lot more attention from both sexes. As always I simply ignored it and secretly pitied them for being slaves to hormones. But then something strange started to happen...I started having wet dreams and waking up hard as a rock. WTF?

Now, nocturnal emissions were nothing new to me...after all, the body has to to eliminate all those fluids somehow. But the thing is, I would usually dream of something totally asexual, like peeing and that would be it. Now I was dreaming about sex...it was so lucid and real and I woke up disturbed and wondered what was wrong with me. In the coming weeks, my condition only worsened. I started to notice women a lot more, especially their bodies. I was 24 years old and experiencing sexual attraction for the first time.

As you can probably guess, I finally gave into my urges and dived headfirst into sex. Guess what? It sucked. I felt totally detached from the experience and it kind of freaked me out. The second time I had sex, it was worse than the first...I actually could not get an erection! So once again, I gave up entirely on sex and poured all my energy into working out. Funny thing is that the more I worked out, the more my sex drive kicked in.

Overcome with curiosity, I did some research online and that's when I realized what was happening...the activity was triggering my hormones! My mind flashed to my fat dad on the sofa and my mom... a sweet, yet miserable woman who always complained about how he didn't love her like he should. It all made sense now. I was a low-testosterone male just like him! When I kick-started my exercise program, my testosterone started to spike and I felt the effects pretty quickly. What I didn't understand was why my experiences with sex were so...bland. It took another couple of years before I figured that one out, but I needed someone's help...

Her name was Mary and we made friends at these kung-fu classes I was taking. We really hit it off from the start and would end up being best friends for the next 2 years. She was really intrigued by my asexuality but it wasn't too much of an issue since she had a boyfriend. I thought she was pretty, but I had stifled my sex drive for so long, I couldn't bring myself to cross the line, besides she made a great buddy.

One night we were walking home after dinner and the craziest sunset was happening. Half of the sky was black with thunderclouds and the other half was clear blue sky with a blood red sun. On the dark side, we saw a perfect rainbow that must have stretched for miles and miles. The wind was picking up as we marveled at the sight. So mesmerizing was the vision that we didn't notice the first pelts of rain on our heads until it became a full-on torrent and the buckets of rain were hitting us sideways! We dashed off to her house, which was half a mile away.

We arrived at her door, soaking wet and laughing like maniacs. It was late Fall and the two of us were shivering. I could not stop laughing at her teeth chattering. Instinctively, we hugged each other for body heat and shivered together. We had never hugged like that and I noticed for the first time how well her body fit mine...like two pieces of a puzzle. The rain had washed her perfume away so all that was left was her natural smell...a wild, flowery yet musky scent that emanated from her neck. I buried my nose right below her jawbone and breathed deep. The reaction was startling as I got an instant boner, a red-hot contrast to my ice-cold body.

I expected her to recoil from me in horror but she surprised me by holding me tighter. Her breathing became erratic and I could feel her heart pounding in her chest and realized I was involved in a process over which I had absolutely no control. I pinned her against the wall and kissed her passionately. It got so intense that she actually orgasmed as I held her! We went to her room, kissing and disrobing till we crawled naked into her bed. My old fears started to kick in, tainting my subconscious and I started to worry if I would be able to perform. So I told her that all I wanted to do was kiss her, and we did exactly that..kissed, snuggled and talked through the night until we passed out.

When morning came, I was so hard it actually was painful! She woke up and held me close. It was funny seeing the shock on her face as she felt my morning wood. "This can't be real" she said, her mouth hanging open. Before I could protest, she went down to take a look and that's when her instincts took over. She kissed me in ways I didn't know existed...slow, hot and teasing until I thought my head would explode. She slid her body upwards, wriggling slowly into my embrace and that was it...the point of no return.

We made love like animals that day, pausing only for food and bathroom breaks. It was like somehting inside of me had been trapped forever and she had set it free. We would continue our savage rituals on a daily basis for months. One year later, we were married. We now have two beautiful children and continue to violate each other on a consistent basis. Our lives are not perfect and we go through tough times like everyone else, but I notice that what we have is special because we are still crazy for each other.

Looking back, I realized that there are 2 simple things that we can do to unleash our sexual selves.

1. Become Active. Nothing will keep you asexual more than just sitting there. The more you move, the more in tune you become with your true nature. You may think that you are just not a sexual person, but chances are, you are just a lazy bastard!

2. Make a connection. Sex truly reaches another level when you share it with someone close to your heart..someone who just GETS you as a person, you know? There also has to be chemistry. Science shows us that we respond to certain scents in certain ways. You know you have found a good match when one whiff of their neck makes you mad with desire! When you get the physical and emotional connection involved with sex, there is so much more passion and meaning behind it that this activity, which we think of as a purely physical one, becomess almost spiritual in its potency.

You are probably wondering why I spent so much time writing this. A friend of mine suffers from this "asexuality" thing and I found the bookmark on his computer. For the next few hours I lost myself here. I could hear my old self screaming in so many of these posts. That's when I decided I had to say something. I would like to say more, but it sounds like my buddy just got back home, so it's time to play it cool and hit that "Submit" button.

Take care all. I hope you find whatever it is you are searching for.

All the best,

Big Willy

[fluffy_hime]

Now before you guys pelt me with rotten tomatoes. . .

Actually, we're very accepting of sexuals who accept us.

stayed celibate well into my 20's.

Celibate doesn't = asexual.

You may think that you are just not a sexual person, but chances are, you are just a lazy bastard!

Thanks.

A friend of mine suffers from this "asexuality" thing and I found the bookmark on his computer.

Uh huh. Suffers, huh.

Well Willy, thanks for the soft core porn story, but it didn't change me a bit.

[Jayann]

We made love like animals that day, pausing only for food and bathroom breaks.

Thanks for sharing. Please, please, please shut up.

Looking back, I realized that there are 2 simple things that we can do to unleash our sexual selves.

Who is this "we" you are referring to? There is no we. There is you. YOU can do what you like to "unleash" anything you want from yourself.

The more you move, the more in tune you become with your true nature.

Your own opinion, not mine. I say, the more you think, the more in tune one becomes with one's own "nature." My nature, by the way, has been discovered, thanks.

You may think that you are just not a sexual person, but chances are, you are just a lazy bastard!

And you may think that you're a generous soul here to save the poor asexuals, but chances are, you are just an opinionated bastard!

2. Make a connection.

Check. I've got connections.

Sex truly reaches another level when you share it with someone close to your heart..

No, thank you.

There also has to be chemistry. Science shows us that we respond to certain scents in certain ways. You know you have found a good match when one whiff of their neck makes you mad with desire!

...My mate and I have never smelled one another. Nor is there reason. I love her all the same.

When you get the physical and emotional connection involved with sex, there is so much more passion and meaning behind it that this activity, which we think of as a purely physical one, becomess almost spiritual in its potency.

For some people.

You are probably wondering why I spent so much time writing this.

Because you're trying to save us poor misguided lazy bastard asexuals?

A friend of mine suffers from this "asexuality" thing...

You know, when you come to a site full of people who have searched their hearts and minds and genuinely BELIEVE that they are asexual, and you call it an "'asexuality' thing," in your condescending tone--Hoho, they think they're asexual, these poor, quaint losers!--people will become upset with you.

...and I found the bookmark on his computer.

I'm sure your "buddy" won't care for the fact that you've been invading his privacy by going through his computer.

If I was your friend, I think I'd hate you for it, nevermind the fact that you would have taken the liberty of going to my private haven and spreading your Glorious Message of Sexual Healing.

I guess I'm just glad that I'm not your friend.

...it sounds like my buddy just got back home, so it's time to play it cool and hit that "Submit" button.

I hope he finds out.

I hope you find whatever it is you are searching for.

Found it the day I found AVEN. What about that don't you understand?

Look, "Big" Willy, I'm glad that things are going your way. I truly, truly am. You sound like a happy, horny man. But don't assume that you know best for people you haven't even met, all right? Don't treat us like ignorant, "lazy bastards," because we're not.

You might have changed, but maybe we won't. Maybe we don't WANT to. Maybe we're happy being us. I know I am. I've found a very sweet, loving person who I want to spend my life with, I've got dreams, I've got a future, and guess what--it doesn't HAVE to involve sex. I can be happy WITHOUT it.

So before you think of giving us or anybody else another soft core porno of a motivational speech, remember that we don't want your charity. If you want to be a member of our community, fine. But you better know that most of us are thinking, conscientious adults who are comfortable in our identities, not some children you need to generously enlighten.

[Sunfell]

<snip boring tales of monkeysex>

And why should we be interested in all this? I mean, really? Is this your version of a 'come to Jesus' talk? If it is, talk to the hand- the ears are otherwise occupied, as is the brain between them. You're evangelicizing.

You. Don't. Get. It. And you never will, it is clear. Go take your silly sex tales someplace else, please.

I cannot speak for everyone here, but I have a full, rich life. One without sex, but rich nonetheless. Your condenscending pity is not welcome.

[Des]

Look dude...

We're not a bunch of fat pimply Star Trek nerd who sit in our parents basements and don't have sex 'cause we're too lazy.

We're not a bunch of repressed people who can't be open about anything at all.

We're not 'suffering' from some 'disorder.'

This is who we are! We're not heathen to be converted to the Church of Sex! We are NOT going to change because we are biologically this way, not because we're stubborn. I suppose if you went around and surgically implanted something into each of us that would make us want sex, that might 'cure' us in your mind, but a lack of sexual attraction is not a problem!

If you are open enough to accept that homosexual were born the way they are, or left handed people were born the way they are, or black people are born the way they are, or (gasp) you were born the way you were, you sould be able to accept the same of us.

[Bryceman2]

My nature, by the way, has been discovered, thanks.

You may think that you are just not a sexual person, but chances are, you are just a lazy bastard!

There also has to be chemistry. Science shows us that we respond to certain scents in certain ways. You know you have found a good match when one whiff of their neck makes you mad with desire!

My mate and I have never smelled one another. Nor is there reason. I love her all the same.

...

You might have changed, but maybe we won't. Maybe we don't WANT to. Maybe we're happy being us. I know I am. I've found a very sweet, loving person who I want to spend my life with, I've got dreams, I've got a future, and guess what--it doesn't HAVE to involve sex. I can be happy WITHOUT it.

Awfully judgmental, no?

One should constantly search for their true nature and never rest on a "sure" identity. Whatever identities you choose, sexual or otherwise, there should always be room for reevaluation, if you think critically of yourself.

The fact is that the average person with a dramatically low sex drive is not that way due to fully organic causes. Whether there is an organic asexuality (something you're born with fully, such as homosexuality) is obviously yet to be determined, and as a critical thinker, I wouldn't doubt its existence at all. However, if you look at the various physiological and psychological issues that can cause a low sex drive, the chance of one of these being true for an individual is much higher than an instance of true asexuality.

If psychological in origin, this would lead to an unhealthily repressed sexuality. If physiological, this would result in unhealthily low levels of hormone.

It's probably a good idea, then for everyone to at least explore the concept of them having a sexuality. To firmly deny that it even could exist is, frankly, dangerous. I also feel that heterosexuals should explore the idea of homosexuality and that sexual people (especially oversexed people should consider the implications of NOT being sexual, or at least being less sexual in their focus.

Also, on a side note, scent is dramatically important in even the most basic forms of human communication, though very, very underappreciated. I read a study the other day about how mothers can VERY often recognize the scent of their biological children, but have an EXTREMELY difficult time recognizing the scent of their step-children (as an example).

[Bryceman2]

This is who we are!

You do realize that exactly this attitude was what led to so many homosexuals suffering so long, with society telling them that they were straight, to the point they believed it as a steadfast truth, and kept telling themselves "I am straight. This is what I am. I am not attracted to men. That would be unnatural."? Absolutist attitudes in either direction are unhealthy. If he was telling a story about how he had been highly sexual when he was younger but discovered that it just wasn't fulfilling at all for him and is now a proud asexual, you would be applauding him. What's with the double standard?

[Shockwave]

Interested little piece of porn there.

In response to your post:

1. You were not asexual. You were sexually repressed.

2. I have hormones. I don't experience sexual attraction.

3. Asexual is my true nature.

[Big Willy]

Hmmm...Notice how the scathing responses come from the people with the highest post counts. I am sure it is entirely unrelated though...moving on.

Lemme break it down for you guys....

Asexuality is not natural. Nowhere in nature is this phenomena witnessed except on the cellular level. You guys are saying that you identify more with AMEOBAS than your own human kin? Call me a condescending bastard, but I feel sorry for you all. Why? Cuz just like you, I thought I was happy and fulfilled, till I discovered what I was missing. A relationship without passion is a sad state of affairs whether you choose to see it or not.

I honestly stand by my conviction. I bet none of you guys are truly physically active and believe that this is "just the way you are". Do yourselves a favor and start an exercise program...running, swimming, weight-lifting, acrobatics....ANYTHING. and I bet you will discover that you are not so asexual after all!

Of course the downside is that you wont be able to post compulsively like you normally do, and your interest in this place would dwindle. Dear God....the horror!!! :shock:

[Jayann]

My nature, by the way, has been discovered, thanks.

You may think that you are just not a sexual person, but chances are, you are just a lazy bastard!

There also has to be chemistry. Science shows us that we respond to certain scents in certain ways. You know you have found a good match when one whiff of their neck makes you mad with desire!

My mate and I have never smelled one another. Nor is there reason. I love her all the same.

...

You might have changed, but maybe we won't. Maybe we don't WANT to. Maybe we're happy being us. I know I am. I've found a very sweet, loving person who I want to spend my life with, I've got dreams, I've got a future, and guess what--it doesn't HAVE to involve sex. I can be happy WITHOUT it.

Awfully judgmental, no?

You want some of this? Fine.

No, if I was judgmental, it's because I've been treated as a child.

Furthermore, there was nothing judgmental in what you just quoted. Those were all statements about myself.

One should constantly search for their true nature and never rest on a "sure" identity. Whatever identities you choose, sexual or otherwise, there should always be room for reevaluation, if you think critically of yourself.

Not a problem. But I am "sure" of the identity that I have established right now.

And that identity does not entail "suffering" from an "asexuality thing" because I am a "lazy bastards."

The fact is that the average person with a dramatically low sex drive is not that way due to fully organic causes.

Proof? Over 1,000 people seem to think otherwise.

However, if you look at the various physiological and psychological issues that can cause a low sex drive, the chance of one of these being true for an individual is much higher than an instance of true asexuality.

It's not about drive, it's about attraction. I have a sex drive. I become aroused. I am not attracted to other people. I don't think that has a CAUSE.

If psychological in origin, this would lead to an unhealthily repressed sexuality. If physiological, this would result in unhealthily low levels of hormone.

See above about attraction. You're attracted to the people you are attracted to because of something innate that is beyond control. Same with the people you are NOT sexually attracted to. It doesn't have to do with my body.

It's probably a good idea, then for everyone to at least explore the concept of them having a sexuality. To firmly deny that it even could exist is, frankly, dangerous. I also feel that heterosexuals should explore the idea of homosexuality and that sexual people (especially oversexed people should consider the implications of NOT being sexual, or at least being less sexual in their focus.

I agree with you. I do not bar the fact that one day I might want to have sex with someone. But if I do, it'll be because that's the way I am. Not because some jerk came and spewed a bunch of crap about discovering sexuality.

[Sunfell]

Also, on a side note, scent is dramatically important in even the most basic forms of human communication, though very, very underappreciated. I read a study the other day about how mothers can VERY often recognize the scent of their biological children, but have an EXTREMELY difficult time recognizing the scent of their step-children (as an example).

I live through my nose. I know people by smell, and could tell that there were men inspecting my dorm rooms in the USAF by that peculiar 'tang' most men have. I can also pick out individual 'notes' in perfumes. I understand the difference between simple halitosis and what I call 'death breath' (diseased lungs and digestive tract). And I can always tell when there's a diabetic around. They have a particularly sweet note to their 'signature'.

Sunfell

[mindlife]

See, all my life I never understood what the big deal was with sex. I thought my guy friends were just a bunch of juvenile losers who would lose their cool whenever a pretty girl walked by.

Most of us are not asserting this to ourselves at all. Sexuals behave that way, it is natural to them.

1. Become Active. Nothing will keep you asexual more than just sitting there. The more you move, the more in tune you become with your true nature.

I walk nearly every place I go and swim twice a week.

I don't think I'm inactive at all.

2. Make a connection.

I've made all I'm comfortable with.

A friend of mine suffers from this "asexuality" thing and I found the bookmark on his computer. For the next few hours I lost myself here. I could hear my old self screaming in so many of these posts. That's when I decided I had to say something.

I don't mind your contributions, although I could do without the descriptions of sexual contact & behavior. I don't think you are doing this to hurt or deceive us. I believe you have written the truth as you see it.

Now I ask you to bear with the fact that the rest of us don't perceive life as you do. Asexuality is a way of life, a perspective on love, and a sexual orientation. You turned from sexually celibate to sexually active.

Give us the right to be totally disinclined in the first place. Hopefully you can get your mind around that.

I don't think your heart could possibly follow.

[Jayann]

Hmmm...Notice how the scathing responses come from the people with the highest post counts. I am sure it is entirely unrelated though...moving on.

No, do tell. What connection might there be?

Asexuality is not natural.

Who are you to say it's not?

People say the same thing about homosexuality. Do you agree that it's unnatural to be homosexual?

Open your mind. People come in a variety of ways to be. No way is the right way, Mr. Big Willy.

Nowhere in nature is this phenomena witnessed except on the cellular level.

Proof? Show me that there is no species in this world that doesn't have asexual members. Can you prove it?

You guys are saying that you identify more with AMEOBAS than your own human kin?

Not at all. I am an asexual human.

Call me a condescending bastard, but I feel sorry for you all.

Fine. You are a condescending bastard.

Nobody asked for your pity.

Why? Cuz just like you, I thought I was happy and fulfilled, till I discovered what I was missing.

What YOU were missing. I'm glad you found it. But not everyone functions just the same way as you, pal.

A relationship without passion is a sad state of affairs whether you choose to see it or not.

You are very close-minded indeed.

I honestly stand by my conviction. I bet none of you guys are truly physically active and believe that this is "just the way you are".

You have no idea whether that's true or not.

Do yourselves a favor and start an exercise program...running, swimming, weight-lifting, acrobatics....ANYTHING. and I bet you will discover that you are not so asexual after all!

You are so narcissitic to think you know all the complex internal and external influences that affect the sexuality of every human.

Of course the downside is that you wont be able to post compulsively like you normally do, and your interest in this place would dwindle. Dear God....the horror!!! :shock:

Ah HA. There's the connection. I see. How childish of you. This has been my safe place for over two years, yes, and in that time I've racked up quite a post count. I see you've noticed that. I've found a quite nice community of people here, people to relate my experiences to. It's a shame you don't have as many friends as I do.

I have no problem facing the fact that one day I'll move on. The people will remain a part of me, but I don't need to cling to the site.

You are a very sad individual to attempt to concern yourself with us as deeply as you do. Why do you care about how we live our lives, anyway? Don't you have better things to worry about than being our messiah?

[Bryceman2]

Furthermore, there was nothing judgmental in what you just quoted. Those were all statements about myself.

I wasn't quoting anything judgmental, only things I was responding to.

The fact is that the average person with a dramatically low sex drive is not that way due to fully organic causes.

Proof? Over 1,000 people seem to think otherwise.

There is no medical professional I could imagine with any credibitly that believes the majority of cases of dramatically low sex drive are biological in origin.

It's not about drive, it's about attraction. I have a sex drive. I become aroused. I am not attracted to other people. I don't think that has a CAUSE.

Sorry, I was grouping both together. Should have been more clear. Anyway, doesn't change the root.

See above about attraction. You're attracted to the people you are attracted to because of something innate that is beyond control. Same with the people you are NOT sexually attracted to. It doesn't have to do with my body.

Something innate? More like phenylethylamine (PEA), the chemical associated with attraction, released in response to subconscious associations your brain makes (based heavily on scent, for that matter).

Oh, and I have to say:

Asexuality is not natural.

is not necessarily - or even likely - a true statement. Keep in mind that transsexuality and homosexaulity are not things one would necessarily expect to find in the animal kingdom, but there they are. There have been multiple theories on this that I won't get into.

[Bryceman2]

I live through my nose. I know people by smell, and could tell that there were men inspecting my dorm rooms in the USAF by that peculiar 'tang' most men have. I can also pick out individual 'notes' in perfumes. I understand the difference between simple halitosis and what I call 'death breath' (diseased lungs and digestive tract). And I can always tell when there's a diabetic around. They have a particularly sweet note to their 'signature'.

Okay, yeah, that's the coolest thing I've ever heard. I'd love to develop my awareness of scent to that level. : o) you officially have my envy.

[Sunfell]

I'd love to develop my awareness of scent to that level. : o) you officially have my envy.

Noses are trainable, just like ears and eyes can be. I don't know of anyone who offers classes in basic perfumery (I have, but only to local people) but that is a place where you can start! The Bath and Body stores have a wonderful line of unadulterated natural aromatheraputic scents that you can 'learn', to 'tune' your schnozz. It's fun! When you can tell cinnabar from natural sandalwood (cinnabar is often substituted for sandalwood, since Mysore sandalwood is nearly extinct and very expensive), you will have a True Nose.

Sorry about the thread drift...

[Jayann]

Furthermore' date=' there was nothing judgmental in what you just quoted. Those were all statements about myself.[/quote']

I wasn't quoting anything judgmental, only things I was responding to.

I don't understand. You quoted my text and then said "Judgmental, no?" What was I supposed to think?

The fact is that the average person with a dramatically low sex drive is not that way due to fully organic causes.

Proof? Over 1' date='000 people seem to think otherwise.[/quote']There is no medical professional I could imagine with any credibitly that believes the majority of cases of dramatically low sex drive are biological in origin.

I grant you that. You were talking about drive, not attraction.

See above about attraction. You're attracted to the people you are attracted to because of something innate that is beyond control. Same with the people you are NOT sexually attracted to. It doesn't have to do with my body.

Something innate? More like phenylethylamine (PEA), the chemical associated with attraction, released in response to subconscious associations your brain makes (based heavily on scent, for that matter).

Hmm. So, how is that people can experience romantic attraction to other people that they've never met in real life (say, over the internet), and without sexual attraction?

I don't doubt the chemical aspect, but is that something that can be triggered by a change in lifestyle, as our friend Big Willy implies? If there are connections between exercise and sexual attraction, I think it's far more complex than he assumes. Plus, his argument is based on hormones. Quite a few people report having been tested as having normal hormonal levels.

Oh, and I have to say:

Asexuality is not natural.

is not necessarily - or even likely - a true statement. Keep in mind that transsexuality and homosexaulity are not things one would necessarily expect to find in the animal kingdom, but there they are. There have been multiple theories on this that I won't get into.

Good point.

[Big Willy]

Just to clarify...

Okay, yeah, that's the coolest thing I've ever heard. I'd love to develop my awareness of scent to that level. : o) you officially have my envy.

Go on a cleansing fast (look up "Master Cleanse" in google) and you will discover scents you never knew existed! Also, dont smoke or drink alcohol.

[Jayann]

And despite the fact that I wholly disagree with your line of thinking, Sir Willy the Great, I do agree with mindlife.

I don't mind your contributions, although I could do without the descriptions of sexual contact & behavior. I don't think you are doing this to hurt or deceive us. I believe you have written the truth as you see it.

Now I ask you to bear with the fact that the rest of us don't perceive life as you do. Asexuality is a way of life, a perspective on love, and a sexual orientation. You turned from sexually celibate to sexually active.

Give us the right to be totally disinclined in the first place. Hopefully you can get your mind around that.

I don't think your heart could possibly follow.

I do think that truly believe that you're being generous. But you should also know that you're living in your own narrow world. What works for you does not work for all. We are not all built the same. And some people are just going to be happy they way they are, so you going to have to accept that and be happy for us.

I can and do appreciate that you're happy. I wasn't being ironic when I said that. But have the courtesy to recognize that most of us know what we want, and may be happy with the lives that we have--paired or not. Can you be happy for us?

We are not children. Give us the benefit of the doubt that we know ourselves. We may or may not change--I can't say that we won't change, but admit the fact that YOU don't know if we WILL.

I'm willing to give this introduction of yours into our community a second shot. But you need to respect us, and not be so condenscending.

[Bryceman2]

I don't understand. You quoted my text and then said "Judgmental, no?" What was I supposed to think?

::shrug:: that's why I clarified.

Hmm. So, how is that people can experience romantic attraction to other people that they've never met in real life (say, over the internet), and without sexual attraction?

Ooh, that's easy. PEA is released in response to subconscious cues that you pick up in general, not just physiological ones. Your subconscious regulates the "conncections" people who feel close with one another have. Every system in the body is biological, but it is all mediated (to some extent or another) psychoologically.

I don't doubt the chemical aspect, but is that something that can be triggered by a change in lifestyle, as our friend Big Willy implies? If there are connections between exercise and sexual attraction, I think it's far more complex than he assumes. Plus, his argument is based on hormones. Quite a few people report having been tested as having normal hormonal levels.

Well, yes. From my personal experience, this is certainly true with regard to increasing my sex drive - if my sex drive was dramatically low to begin with and I maintained a lifestyle that would keep it low, I would likely not experience much sexual attraction. Low-calorie, low-fat diets can unfavorably alter hormonal balance. One just has to look to the plight of many people who go on "raw food" or "natural hygiene" diets, for example - many experience a dropping off of sex drive over time, leading to no real sexual attraction in their lives.

I obviously don't agree with this being the way to describe all cases of asexuality. As you said, many people have been tested having normal hormone levels. It's possible that they suffer from psychological issues that block the manifestation of attraction and/or sex drive, but I would VERY STRONGLY doubt this is true for all cases.

[Jayann]

What is unnatural is homo-monogamy. To my knowledge, no animals have been documented as having long-term homosexual relationships. Why? Because animals must REPRODUCE!

Untrue. There are mated pairs of same sex animals in the natural world. And there are more than enough reproducing members of each species to account for the ones that do not.

Can you show me one species that is? I would love to watch a monkey undergo cellular fission and split itself in half!

If you're not going to be serious, there's no point in continuing conversing with you.

Did you know that words have more than one definition apiece?

a·sex·u·al (-sksh-l)

adj.

Having no evident sex or sex organs; sexless.

Relating to, produced by, or involving reproduction that occurs without the union of male and female gametes, as in binary fission or budding.

Lacking interest in or desire for sex.

That's from The American Heritage Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition.

I'm still willing to give you another shot if you're going to try being respectful of us as intelligent people.

[Big Willy]

I am a lot older than most of you, so pardon the fatherly tone.

All I can say is that everything changes. I think its actually a good thing to go through an asexual phase. You get so much work done and you dont run the risk of STDs. But to say "this is who we are" is a very limiting belief. Just like I know I wont be sexual forever. I will get old, my nuts will sag to my knees and while the rest of the world takes Viagra, I will be content to be asexual again....but to be this way during the entire peak of your youth is a great dis-service to yourself.

Well, its been interesting to say the least, I am goin out for a bike ride now...Later on I will screw my wife doggystyle while pulling her hair (man, she loves that shit)

Happy trails!

[Big Willy]

Oh, before I go...

There are mated pairs of same sex animals in the natural world. And there are more than enough reproducing members of each species to account for the ones that do not.

Please enlighten me to the source of this fascinating information and I will concede.

Did you know that words have more than one definition apiece?

a·sex·u·al (-sksh-l)

adj.

Having no evident sex or sex organs; sexless.

Relating to, produced by, or involving reproduction that occurs without the union of male and female gametes, as in binary fission or budding.

Lacking interest in or desire for sex.

That's from The American Heritage Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition.

No doubt, but a dictionary quote still doesnt prove that there are animals who have no interest in sex. Hell, I got my dog nuetered YEARS ago and he still tries to get laid!

[Jayann]

I am a lot older than most of you, so pardon the fatherly tone.

It's funny how little you've read into our stories, but you think you know our demographics. We have a high precentage of members between the ages of 35 and 55.

Later on I will screw my wife doggystyle while pulling her hair (man, she loves that shit)

Ah ha, so, where you promised in another thread to not write anything "soft core" you've gone to bearbaiting us.

There goes the last of your credibility, fella. You've moved into the range of the infantile. Now hundreds of people you don't even know may end up thinking you're a sad, pathetic troll. I gave you another chance. You blew it.

[Jayann]

Oh, before I go...

There are mated pairs of same sex animals in the natural world. And there are more than enough reproducing members of each species to account for the ones that do not.

Please enlighten me to the source of this fascinating information and I will concede.

http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detai...891013?v=glance

Did you know that words have more than one definition apiece?

a·sex·u·al (-sksh-l)

adj.

Having no evident sex or sex organs; sexless.

Relating to, produced by, or involving reproduction that occurs without the union of male and female gametes, as in binary fission or budding.

Lacking interest in or desire for sex.

That's from The American Heritage Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition.

No doubt, but a dictionary quote still doesnt prove that there are animals who have no interest in sex.

And if you think that you can know everything about the way all animals function, you're either one hell of a biologist, or else a close-minded person who makes blanket statements.

[Sunfell]

Jayann wrote:

We have a high precentage of members between the ages of 35 and 55.

And I am right smack dab in the middle of that demographic spread.

Funny how easy it was to get the troll to hoist the Jolly Roger!

*snortle*

[Chrysalid]

to be this way during the entire peak of your youth is a great dis-service to yourself.

Thanks so much for that, I'll bear it in mind. Any idea what an "Agincourt salute" is? If so, then imagine the calm smile on my face as I offer you one now.

Like I said in another thread today, throughout my life I've encountered a lot of people who patronisingly decided that they were so worldly-wise that they knew exactly how I should behave and run my life, and could forecast exactly how I would behave in the future when I "matured" or "woke up to xxx"; and that if I disagreed I was clearly as naive as a child, and would soon realise the error of my ways and start to conduct my life properly.

You appear to be another of these people, and rest assured that I will take as little notice of you as I did of them.

In fact, I am personally of the opinion that you are a troll. I think that coming to a known asexual forum and deliberately posting unnecessary sexual imagery (unnecessary because it wasn't at all important to the furtherance of your story) in what appears to be a nauseatingly childish attempt to bait people with a low/zero interest in sex, can't be the work of anyone except a very bored individual who is out for kicks on a Friday night before he goes to the pub.

*Chrys

PS Please note that my post count is below 10.

[Jayann]

Chrys, I LOVE your avatar! It's like some kinda chia pet...creature. <3

[Guest]

Chia eh? NEOPET ATTACK!

[Chrysalid]

Chrys, I LOVE your avatar! It's like some kinda chia pet...creature. <3

LOL actually it's "Parsley the Lion" - a character from a 1970's British children's programme called The Herbs :D

http://www.davethewave.co.uk/theherbs/