Apollonian Posted June 24, 2008 Share Posted June 24, 2008 I hate the phoniness of it. It's all one big game which I have no interest in playing. I haven't dated in... 4½-5 years now? I've lost track. Haven't missed it, and I'll never participate in that again. Link to post Share on other sites
ily Posted June 24, 2008 Share Posted June 24, 2008 it's like a frustrating video game, but the stakes are real, and the prize (sex/romance) isn't all that great. (Actually, it reminds me quite a bit of that movie Jumanji.) Oh goodness, LOL!! That's funny. ;) Link to post Share on other sites
SpirallingSnowy Posted June 24, 2008 Share Posted June 24, 2008 The only dates ive been on have been with either people who were already boyfriends, or friends id known for years that really really liked me..... The ones with boyfriends type ppl were ok, but ones with the friends who really like me, no matter that, make me stress the hell out. Or i jsut switch off and pretend i dont care and deliberately dont think about it. I dont like the whole going on a date with someone you just met to see if you are compatible, but then agian, ive only ever gone out with guys i was friends with before hand or guys who were friends of my friends...... Link to post Share on other sites
infinityhype Posted June 25, 2008 Share Posted June 25, 2008 I have never really "dated" in my life. And I don't really want to either because most guys my age are just jerks anyway, which is why all of my guy friends are older than me. Link to post Share on other sites
Juniperberry Posted June 25, 2008 Share Posted June 25, 2008 However, I do believe that any guy who asks me out wants sex. Sorry, but that's usually true. That's exactly how I feel, which is why I now refuse to date. Link to post Share on other sites
Tetsuo Shima Posted June 29, 2008 Author Share Posted June 29, 2008 test Link to post Share on other sites
Chuguru Posted June 29, 2008 Share Posted June 29, 2008 I really hate dating as well. It just feels like one obligation after another, and it's exhausting. What is really annoying is when you find someone you feel like you click as a friend with, and you enjoy going out as friends, and then they ruin it by asking you to date them. It's all a load of crap. When that happens, I have to wonder if all that was before was just an act, and the main objective was to get in my pants. I made perfectly clear to the last person I "went out" with that I didn't want to "date" them. I wanted a "deeper friendship". I guess using the word "friendship" ruined it, though, since apparently this person took it as I didn't want any physical contact. No hand holding. No cuddling. Nothing but lukewarm hugs. Anyway, it's totally fine to hate dating. Link to post Share on other sites
malleryn Posted June 29, 2008 Share Posted June 29, 2008 I have zero interest in dating. It is very annoying because when I say this, people, in particular men who have an "interest" in me, view it as either: 1) Oh, poor thing, she must have been hurt in the past. :( or... 2) She is still nice to me and seems to want to be friends, I must be an exception.... Screw that. I'm done talking to anyone who even seems to have a sexual attraction to me. I've learned that in those situations, one can't even be friends. (Ladder theory? Though I guess I only have one ladder and it is all friends. ._.) I don't want to shy away just because the other person wants to "fuck me," but it is ridiculous that they don't listen to me when I say point blank that I'm not interested in dating or sex. And I totally agree with the second poster who said they feel the need to puke whenever the other gets "that look" in their eye and says something cheesy... OP, you are right, in relationships, it is always an image of you in their head that they are actually dating. Granted, this is probably true in all relationships, friendships as well, but the image friends have is slightly more realistic and less... puke worthy... Finally, gender roles. I'm not interested in being "the girl." I don't like being held and being "close" and I don't want the other to treat me like a "girl" (buying me things, cuddling, the other feeling the need to protect, blah blah blah). That being said... if I were a guy, I really wouldn't feel much better about the gender roles thing. That felt good to express. Link to post Share on other sites
Tetsuo Shima Posted June 29, 2008 Author Share Posted June 29, 2008 Its interesting how many people either wouldn't date at all, or if they did they'd only date friends. Regarding the latter, I'd never date friends. After all the threads I see on the forum about people complaining about sexual friends they have wanting to take things further, its strange that some people also seem to think its weird that I wouldn't date friends. So really, how is a guy supposed to know when its okay to take a friendship further or not? (I'm just playing devil's advocate here). But I really have very, very few female friends (like I can count on one hand how many I have) and of those they are either married or like sisters to me, so I wouldn't mess those things up. Relationships really, really worry me to be honest. I know that if I don't get off my butt and stir the pot and get out there and actively pursue girls and dating, that the chances are I'll end up all alone and I'm not okay with that. I haven't decided yet if I'm asexual or not and I'll need to have sex again before I can determine that, but I want it be with someone I love and someone I'm attracted to, and to get there I'm going to have to date. I don't believe in that whole crap about "oh you'll meet the right person when you stop looking". That's bullshit. I'll never be able to know for certain how I feel about sex until I have more of it, and I won't ever meet someone that I want to spend my life with until I get out there and beat the bushes. And ultimately as a guy its up to me to take the initiative in all this. I don't know, I just have this nameless dread in me that things aren't going to work out, that I'll end up being alone for the rest of my life, and that somehow I just can't hack it in a relationship. That somehow everyone else can make it work, or at least get something going, and that I can't despite being what people tell me is a "great catch". I once had a friend tell me that it would be weird to see me with a girlfriend. She said it innocently enough, but it really hurt. Link to post Share on other sites
~shinigami~ Posted June 29, 2008 Share Posted June 29, 2008 I really hated dating. Not out of nervousness - I was in the "OMG" mode for about half an hour before my first date, and then I got over myself. Instead, I was just extremely bored. I don't like sharing a lot of information about myself to people I don't know well, and I don't really give a sh*t about this other guy's life. And then, to make matters worse, after a while, I got so bored an broke up with the guy, only to have him start crying on me. Ugh. After that, I came to the conclusion that "dating" was too annoying and boring to deal with. (A year later, I find AVEN! YAY!) Link to post Share on other sites
Pentachromacy Posted June 29, 2008 Share Posted June 29, 2008 You're not alone. I've never bothered with dating. It's pointless. Luckily for me most people take one look at my burn scars and the possibility becomes null. So no worries. Link to post Share on other sites
Chromium Posted June 29, 2008 Share Posted June 29, 2008 I haven't really dated anyone, and I don't intend to date someone in the conventional sense. The idea of getting to know someone in a casual setting and then taking the developments as they come seems more natural to me than setting up a formal date to determine romantic compatibility. I also don't fit with the expected male gender role (being the initiator, etc). I am who I am, take it or leave it. :) Link to post Share on other sites
Solodancer1 Posted July 4, 2008 Share Posted July 4, 2008 Dating is dumb. I have dated too many times to count because it was normal and I got too much flak for being weird anyway without the mega superflakage I was getting for not even dating -- so I went out with some guys. It had nice moments -- walking slowly under the flowering trees, eating cake at all-night retaurants, and running from one drinking spot to another. I say "drinking spot" because it would be absurd to pretend the bars and parties etc. were much more than that and I hate the term "watering hole". Few of my dates had cars, and this is mostly way beyond 18. I just couldn't stand the knowledge that every one of them would leave on the spot if he actually believed that we would never have sex. The way every piece of sweetness that ever happened was apparently real only to me, and he was waiting to twist it around and turn on me and ruin it. The way even the ones who wanted to be "friends first" were only saying they wanted the same things as the rest only slower -- first see how much they could get on a date, then how much they could sign up for over the long term, then how fast they could use me up and go get another one. That's how I felt anyway. I saw enough to reinforce it. Link to post Share on other sites
Shockwave Posted July 4, 2008 Share Posted July 4, 2008 I started dating when I was 18 and kept trying until well into my 30s. In all that time I remember enjoying only two dates, both with the same person. These days I usually avoid it like the plague. Link to post Share on other sites
Throne Eins Posted July 4, 2008 Share Posted July 4, 2008 I've never been on a date and doubt I ever will. If I were to ever get a date, the first thing on my mind would be figuring out how I could tactfully leave if it wasn't going well. I also hate the fact that alcohol always seems to be involved with dating. Spending the night with some drunken buffoon is not my idea of a good time. Link to post Share on other sites
Sha'zar Posted July 4, 2008 Share Posted July 4, 2008 I'm on the fence about dating. While i would like to form a relationship with another person that i could spend the rest of our lives with, i'm so fucked up, i can't even think of a 'type' of person that would be interested in me, that i would be interested in. I see most of the world in different 'types', but i'm unsure if that's because i haven't gotten to know the people individually, or if they're adhering to one stereotype or the other that i can sense. It would take someone truly unique for me to form that type of relationship with, and i'm not sure i'm going to meet them by entering the dating scene. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.