boookwoorm Posted September 23, 2009 Share Posted September 23, 2009 I'm a 20 year-old non-virgin, but I hated every minute of the act I found it repulsive. I have been told many times that the only reason I am the way I am is because I was raped but I resent that comment. I have had sex with my only boyfriend (now ex) and have heavily fondled with female partners but I hated every minute of it (though I do love a good cuddle), I have never felt the need or want to have any form sexual contact even before the rape. So the statement about rape is irrelevant. I wish I could say I was still a virgin. Link to post Share on other sites
Lakewolf Posted September 24, 2009 Share Posted September 24, 2009 I haven't read the entire thread, but I have to say a few things: 1) Just because this society worships sex does not mean that it is "important". As I've said before, for me (and just for me), deep emotion=sexual passion. 2) I can say this because I have felt strong sexual arousal, but as I got older, it wasn't/isn't possible for me to be sexually aroused without deep emotional arousal. In me, the two merge, and are now indistinguishable one from the other. 3) Since "intercourse" involves penetration, two same sex partners can have intercourse. The penis is not almighty in the sex act. 4) At the present time, we (Chris and I) are incapable of really doing anything sexual because my spouse (Chris) has had 6 operations in the past two years. It is of such a nature as to make "sexual" activity impossible. Because I know she suffers, I hurt. This is far more important to me than sex has ever been. i5) After attending the gay pride march ( not parade-- you don't hold a parade to celebrate the fact that five of your people died in an event) in 1993,and watching people dance around naked, I don't EVER need to attend another one, though I went to NY religiously until this happened. If LGBT people (and I am one) ever want to be seen as "normal", "regular" people, then it's time to grow up. "Celebrating" what you are--whatever that may be--does NOT mean inflicting the unexpected sight of your naked body upon unsuspecting observers. I think if the world were asexual except for a few procreators, the world would be a much more peaceful place. If sexuals stand on a soapbox and proclaim that love is so much more important than sex, then why do they kill each other over it? Link to post Share on other sites
GarcianSmith Posted September 24, 2009 Share Posted September 24, 2009 That depends on your definition of virgin. Link to post Share on other sites
cochran1985 Posted September 25, 2009 Share Posted September 25, 2009 im a 24 male and a virgin and i am happy with that, of course what the future holds nobody knows and its difficult to imagine a reason i would have sex because i believe i can have a fulfilling relationship without, of course this mostly depends on me meeting that special someone on here (or some other asexy site) but i see no reason why that can't happen Link to post Share on other sites
PiF Posted September 25, 2009 Share Posted September 25, 2009 22 year old virgin aqui I guess this should be updated. I'm now 23 and a non-virgin. 22 year old virgin aqui I guess this should be updated. I'm now 23 and a non-virgin. :o :P :lol: this did make me chuckle this morning...thanks guys Link to post Share on other sites
Julesie Posted September 26, 2009 Share Posted September 26, 2009 19 year old Virgin. Will probably stay that way but sometimes I wish that I had a partner. (One who doesn't want sex 24/7 and thinks of a relationship as the love bond between two people and that sex would just be a rare treat on top - because honestly I don't want it.) Link to post Share on other sites
Starred Posted September 26, 2009 Share Posted September 26, 2009 19 yr old virgin asexual I'm pretty apathetic about it either way... if I'm a virgin, I'm a virgin; if I'm not, I'm not. The only thing about not being a virgin is it means I will have to start getting pap smears for the birth control I take (for skipping my period so that I don't pass out as much as I do). *shrugs* Link to post Share on other sites
CatLadyCody928 Posted September 29, 2009 Share Posted September 29, 2009 32 and a virgin. Not interested in trying..... any play I've participated in is pretty much gets an "is it over yet?" response from me...... Link to post Share on other sites
paigessv Posted September 30, 2009 Share Posted September 30, 2009 Virgin, and plan on staying that way. Link to post Share on other sites
Milokit Posted October 1, 2009 Share Posted October 1, 2009 21 yr old..nonvirgin I dont regret it because it was somethin i wanted to experience at the time, but if i knew then what i know now..i wouldnt have done it lol Link to post Share on other sites
hpvampiress Posted October 2, 2009 Share Posted October 2, 2009 21 years old - I've never had intercourse, but that may be changing soon. Link to post Share on other sites
Amid Posted October 10, 2009 Share Posted October 10, 2009 23-year-old virgin...and hopefully I will stay this way....unless Brad Pitt lands in my bed or something, than maybe, MAYBE I'll give it a shot....but I doubt it. Link to post Share on other sites
Delete Me Posted October 15, 2009 Share Posted October 15, 2009 I am a virgin and am heteroasexual. I want to stay a virgin, for that is me. ^_^ Link to post Share on other sites
rebekka1954 Posted May 22, 2010 Share Posted May 22, 2010 I am 55, and not a virgin. I was 14 when my best friend & I had my 1st lesbian encounter (she was bi). I married heterosexual when 27 (whether rebellion against my family, or giving in to them, still the question). From this came 2 daughters. Was I interested in sex, yes,,,, no,,,, there always seemed so much drama involved, which I well could have done without. Where there times I wanted sex, yes, where there times I was happy without sex, oh dear lawd yes, which was for much longer times than with, for which I wouldn't even think of it. I took ill 10 some years ago, and sexual performance is now impossible for me, which I couldn't be happier with, yet for at least 10+ years before my illness I had no interest in sex, no want for sex, no need for sex, no care for sex. What I would still appreciate (if I ever do find another woman to share my life with), is hugs, kisses, holding hands, sitting together, sleeping in the same bed together, shopping together, etc, which is all very well possible without sex. Health & Happiness to you all! Goddess Bless! Link to post Share on other sites
Samael Posted May 22, 2010 Share Posted May 22, 2010 23 year old asexual and aromantic virgin here. Now that you type it in plain letters, it makes it sound like you are one hell of a boring person :D:D Still, I've never considered having sex, and I've never considered having a traditional relationship with anyone either. I have a plethora of interests that demand most of my time anyways... and getting to know other people on a deeper level is just something that holds zero interest to me. It has always been quite very simple to me: if something interests me I'll try to find some time for it... but if something doesn't interest me I surely won't be even considering it. I'm a future oriented person really, meaning I don't use much of my time to think about the past. Only recently I've started to ponder the reasons for my own choices and motivations, and thusly im typing in this forum now as well. In the space of a few weeks, I've learned to identify what my sexual orientation is and began to understand the reasoning behind it... all thanks to Aven 8) Even just a month ago I wouldn't have given a flying crap about anyone's sexuality or other personal matters. The more you know yourself the easier it will be to be truely confident in yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
Changed773 Posted May 22, 2010 Share Posted May 22, 2010 23-year-old non-virgin. I consider myself asexual, but still date. I'll even have sex if it makes the other person happy, but I prefer not to. Link to post Share on other sites
Samael Posted May 22, 2010 Share Posted May 22, 2010 I'll even have sex if it makes the other person happy, but I prefer not to. Wow, I hope I won't sound rude but it is my opinion that if you don't prefer something, you really shouldn't even consider compromising. That is, unless you really feel that such a sacrifice is worth it. Please, try to enlighten me; why is it necessary or could be considered a good thing to please some other person's needs if you don't meet them yourself in the first place? Just curious :) PS. Call me egocentric if you feel that is appropriate :D Link to post Share on other sites
Kasbunny Posted May 24, 2010 Share Posted May 24, 2010 Nineteen, still a virgin, and planning to keep it that way. Despite the fact that my peers are all, "WHAT? You're a VIRGIN? That's awful!" or such things. Link to post Share on other sites
sindi Posted May 24, 2010 Share Posted May 24, 2010 I'm a virgin, and planning to stay that way 'cause I'm repulsed by sex... Link to post Share on other sites
2purple4u Posted May 24, 2010 Share Posted May 24, 2010 Eighteen years old, certainly not a virgin by any heterosexual definition of the word, asexual and loving it. I feel more comfortable with my identity as an asexual person having experienced sex; I know with absolution that it doesn't interest me. Link to post Share on other sites
GirlDreamer Posted May 24, 2010 Share Posted May 24, 2010 I´m 27, virgin and don´t mind it at all, sex just doesn´t appeal to me. I´m also aromantic, so I´m sure it´ll stay that way... Link to post Share on other sites
Darkfire Prophet Posted May 24, 2010 Share Posted May 24, 2010 24m non-virgin Ace. Have tried such a managerie of things in an attempt to hide my asexy from myself till recently (you'd be surprised what what self deception will make you do). Will probably keep doing it though as my wife is a sexy (that accidently worked on two levels), and I don't dislike it, just don't like it. Link to post Share on other sites
Madster Posted May 24, 2010 Share Posted May 24, 2010 21 year old female homoromantic asexual... Non-virgin. It took having sex to make me realize what I was. All my life I have had "different" views/thoughts/opinions/etc. on sex, but it was only after I lost my virginity (and afterward went through a huge crisis about my identity as a lesbian) that I started thinking very critically about sex. It had never occured to me before then that I might be asexual, honestly. It was a surprise, though a pleasant one, :) I still would like a partner and children, but my plan has always been to adopt, so my asexuality didn't change that at all. Actually, discovering I was asexual really helped define both me and what I want out of a relationship. In the end, I love my identity, :) Link to post Share on other sites
newgirl Posted May 24, 2010 Share Posted May 24, 2010 I'll even have sex if it makes the other person happy, but I prefer not to. Wow, I hope I won't sound rude but it is my opinion that if you don't prefer something, you really shouldn't even consider compromising. That is, unless you really feel that such a sacrifice is worth it. Please, try to enlighten me; why is it necessary or could be considered a good thing to please some other person's needs if you don't meet them yourself in the first place? Just curious :) PS. Call me egocentric if you feel that is appropriate :D I notice a lot of asexual in asexual/sexual relationship doing this type of "compromise,I think it's sad . I can understand if you like some type of touching but if you don't, how sad. Link to post Share on other sites
Alan Degas Posted May 24, 2010 Share Posted May 24, 2010 Non-virgin. But also not asexual. :P I don't see what's sad about compromising about sex in a relationship. There are thousands of things you have to compromise about in a relationship and I don't see anyone saying that's sad. Anyone entering a relationship bent on not changing anything about themselves, or their habits, is bound to fail right from the start...or they can hope that their partner is the sacrificial sort of type, so they are the ones making all the adjustments. But that's not really a healthy relationship, as far as I'm concerned. Link to post Share on other sites
Sassafras Posted May 24, 2010 Share Posted May 24, 2010 I'll even have sex if it makes the other person happy, but I prefer not to. Wow, I hope I won't sound rude but it is my opinion that if you don't prefer something, you really shouldn't even consider compromising. That is, unless you really feel that such a sacrifice is worth it. Please, try to enlighten me; why is it necessary or could be considered a good thing to please some other person's needs if you don't meet them yourself in the first place? Just curious :) PS. Call me egocentric if you feel that is appropriate :D I notice a lot of asexual in asexual/sexual relationship doing this type of "compromise,I think it's sad . I can understand if you like some type of touching but if you don't, how sad. It is a tad rude to be honest...well to me anyway. Being asexual means you have no desire to have sex, not that you are repulsed by it. Many asexuals, myself included, are simply indifferent to the idea. We have no desire to have it but doing so (for whatever reason) isnt that much of a problem and is certainly not a massive 'sacrifice' in any way shape or form. You'll find asexuals who ARE replused by sex or physical conbtact are not the ones having these terrible compromising relationships you struggle to even comprehend. All relationships require some form of compromise and to me at least, having sex when you have no desire to is just another form of this. Being willing to have sex now and then is a worthy price to pay if it means your number of potential partners dramatically increase and hense you have a much greater chance of a long term and fulfilling relationship. If youre never willing to compromise about anything then i think forming any sort of valuable relationship (with anyone) will be nearly impossible. If the compromise (whatever it happens to be) is too great then dont do it, but if its acceptable (provided the return is worth it) then what the hell. Link to post Share on other sites
newgirl Posted May 24, 2010 Share Posted May 24, 2010 The sad thing some " no touching" asexual would do to have a sexual man or woman in their lives. I feel for any asexual dealing with this situation while dating because I'm kinda dealing with it myself. I have a sexual male friend who likes me but I let my sexual male friend know if he wants me long term,he better be prepared for no oral sex or intercourse. I want some type of physical affection in my relationship but for now, i won't compromise on oral sex or intercourse and I feel doing these sexual acts just to please my man would be selfish on the his(sexual) part. Asexual/sexual relationship is not easy. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Viinasu Posted May 25, 2010 Share Posted May 25, 2010 virgin, i don't ever want to have sex.... ewww... x.x Link to post Share on other sites
bluebanana2014 Posted May 25, 2010 Share Posted May 25, 2010 18 years old and a virgin, planning on staying that way. I like the way u think, I myself am a virgin and I plan to stay that way too. :) Link to post Share on other sites
asexual cake Posted May 26, 2010 Share Posted May 26, 2010 I'm a 17-year-old virgin, and I don't see that changing, nor do I want it to. I really can't imagine ending up in a consensual situation that would end in my deflowering. Link to post Share on other sites
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