Andre87 Posted April 17, 2008 Share Posted April 17, 2008 Hello there:) My name is Andre and I'm 21yo FTM from Serbia. I recently discovered this forum and therm "asexuality" but it seems that it has always been part of me(like that feeling I'm a boy in spite of "genetic error").Being asexual FTM was difficult because few people took me serious when I mentioned my desire to go through transition. Most FTMs I know are extremely sexual,a bit "macho",maybe because those stereotypical behavior helped them in passing..friends said to me "But you're reacting like a girl!" I explained that everyone is trans in his/her own way..there's not correct way.It has to do with how we connect with our body(like I couldn't stand my breasts so I had anorexia 7 years ago).I found convenient label "emo boy"..I wasn't interested in phalloplasty as I see people above genitalia..they're shaped,sculped by their words,soul. I enjoy in romantic relationships,giving attention,writing poems,drawing and discussing..I am seduced by language,knowledge.My friend told me once while listening conversation between me and my FTM boyfriend "you 2 sound like you're colleagues from work"..as majority of conversations in our (love)relationship was based on discussions about "melody of language,"DNA of music","tetrachromacy","some prothesis for blind people that conduce light signal to brain","worth of plant's and animal's life" ,exchanging poems etc...I also mentioned him how my "courtship dance" was always different(like I evolved in some strange species)..as it was based on spirit connection and I never expressed sexual attraction that's why people were confused,and couldn't read signals.My love could be at "first conversation" ,but I couldn't understand concept of "love at first sight"..and I am bored when people talk about sex and look people in sexual way. Before testosterone,my libido was low..or it existed in some form and was connected with science and school work..but not other peoiple's bodies. When I started with testosterone it increased,but remained connected only to my body(I didn't express desire to connect with other people). I hope I'll graduate molecular biology in future.I'm interested in genetics,biochemistry and psychiatry. I felt in love 2 times over internet..and one relationship lasted for a year.That girl is from USA,so I never saw her..but while I was in love with her..other people,here in Serbia.. physically present didn't exist...because I bonded in that a bit (platonic) way. I was in really short(about a month) relationship with MTF girl,but I soon retreated (broke up) as she was too agressive,too sexual..we couldn't find common language(and talking is really important in my relationship).. I think I may be asexual..My friends also noticed that.I like giving hugs,like touch..but for me intimate moments,romance,talking,details(like I wanted to made a paint brush from my lover's hair and create with it) are basis of relationship. I think this was enough for beginning.Sorry on my bad English...and thanks for time spent on reading post. :) Andre Link to post Share on other sites
Midwoka Posted April 17, 2008 Share Posted April 17, 2008 Welcome to the boards, Andre. Have some delicious "tetrachromacy" Really? I'm tetrachromatic! (pink, white, purple, and sapphire blue) Link to post Share on other sites
Angelica Soprano Posted April 17, 2008 Share Posted April 17, 2008 Welcome, join the club of many like you, and have some to swill down the you'll be offered. :) (we're working on wine and cheese sticks) Link to post Share on other sites
Andre87 Posted April 18, 2008 Author Share Posted April 18, 2008 Hey..thank you all for welcome . Here’s a link of “corner for transsexual,queer,and asexual people” (we’re all on one place:) )on Serbian lesbian and gay forum. I opened first topic about asexuality,and hope that soon I won’t be only asexual there :( http://www.gay-serbia.com/forum/forumdisplay.php?fid=79 @Midwoka hey :) tetrachromacy is actually genetic specifity where individuals have 4 kinds of cone receptors in eyes instead of 3 so they can see color spectrum more detailed.. Read ya soon Link to post Share on other sites
BaronTheCat Posted April 18, 2008 Share Posted April 18, 2008 Hi & welcome :cake: I'm also FtM, and here are a few others that are, too. Link to post Share on other sites
kiwi b Posted April 18, 2008 Share Posted April 18, 2008 Hey, welccome. I am new as well. I tell my story occording to the individual because not everyone relates to everyting. I believed I was a lesbian when I was a child. I was sexually active for women's bodies and was that tomboy who got into their dad's mags when a child. It was only the females bodies I was attracted too and this day I only find women's bodies attractive over mens. I don't find men's penis as sexual parts and detest the sight. Then in highschool I decided to embrace my sexuallity and came out as bi-sexual because I do like the presence of a man but not sexually. I prefer men's mentle state because I think more like a tomboy. I am not as much as I get older. Got married thinking that would solve my problem and I ran around as sudo sex wanna-be. In other workds everyone knew I liked women and that my husband and I had a trust and open communication. I am neither happy with men or women physically. Body tells me different. I have a conditon called vaginisumis. I did not know this at the time of my marriage. Yrs later. I know more about my body and accept myself as asexual. When I am with a woman, ,my masculine of a gentlmen comes out naturually. I refered to myself as angronomous. I feel more real when I act my genuine self as angronomouse but I just don't find anyone attrive and I hate the smell of bodies in bed. Being apart of GLBT and others....I feel at home. But not complete and I think it has to do with being asexual because I have never found anyone attractive. I feel outcasted from every kind of group. Well, welcome anyways and hope we see eachother around. Link to post Share on other sites
kiwi b Posted April 18, 2008 Share Posted April 18, 2008 Me again I meant to add to my last reply- Sorry for the miss spell on andgronoumous. I tried to look it up but could not find it. It has been a while since I have seen the spelling on it. Link to post Share on other sites
LaLunaVerde Posted April 18, 2008 Share Posted April 18, 2008 Welcome! Have some :cake: :cake: :cake: I hope you enjoy AVEN and come to love it as much as I have. :D More ! Link to post Share on other sites
Amcan Posted April 19, 2008 Share Posted April 19, 2008 Hi nad welcome. Have some more Enjoy AVEN. Link to post Share on other sites
andreas Posted April 20, 2008 Share Posted April 20, 2008 Hi & welcome! I'm ftm too. And we have almost the same name :D I hope you will feel at home here, you seem really interesting. Link to post Share on other sites
Kelly Posted April 22, 2008 Share Posted April 22, 2008 Hello there:) My name is Andre Welcome, Andre! and I'm 21yo FTM from Serbia. Neat. I was in Beograd a few months ago. It looks like I missed meeting you. I recently discovered this forum and term "asexuality" but it seems that it has always been part of me(like that feeling I'm a boy in spite of "genetic error"). Being asexual FTM was difficult because few people took me serious when I mentioned my desire to go through transition. Most FTMs I know are extremely sexual,a bit "macho",maybe because those stereotypical behavior helped them in passing.. You might be pleased to know that there are a lot of asexual FtM’s here. B) I hope I'll graduate molecular biology in future. That is awesome. :) Link to post Share on other sites
Beardless Posted April 23, 2008 Share Posted April 23, 2008 Ahoy Andre! We be glad havin' ye aboard! There be plenty o' we be plunderin'! Sorry for the lack o' grammar, spellin' and sense, I be tendin' to welcome in a piratical fashion! Link to post Share on other sites
Andre87 Posted April 23, 2008 Author Share Posted April 23, 2008 Hey thank you all for replies I’m glad there are more FTMs at AVEN :) I would like to hear your experiences.As not only friends but psychiatrists also connect transsexuality with (most often socially determined,expected) sexual behavior..but as there are pregnant FTMs(parental need is above gender),gay FTMs,asexual FTMs etc… transgender spectrum is not so simple.I also met FTM with schizophrenia so some “diagnosis” can coexist..and in others psychiatrists should know to determine what’s the cause(transsexuality often) and what’s consequence(depression,mood swings etc..)...I know cases where asexuality is consequence of transsexuality,because person feels uncomfortable about some parts of his/her body that don’t match with gender so avoid physical contacts..(most often pre-op)..but there are others(including myself) whose personality is shaped in that way..When I walk with my best friend,she always notices people around us and comment their appearance..I don’t…Only some interesting discussion can get my attention..I was “arguing”(just brain tickling) once with boyfriend,I forgot topic..but anyway at the end of day,remembering that conversation it was strange that I was still excited,happy,blushed and my heart was beating fast..I behaved like 9yo boy ..I still see world through child’s eyes..I like to say that “at spring water is more clear,and look can get much further..and as we approach chops of a river,water is less clear,has more waste,garbage because of bad experiences collected during life that unfortunately can fill with hate(or attitude “I don’t care”) someone’s heart..so look can’t be so deep..What I wanted to say is that everyone should keep childish spirit in himself.I wanted to type so many things here,but forgot the most at the moment so you forgive me.. I came out to my friends and family in 2005. as FTM,and 2 weeks ago as asexual(it seems that it’s partially genetic,as my mother sees world also in different way) Kiwi b, I understand you..I measure worth of kiss through trust,conversation,how much I know about that person..I even define reasons for breaking up (cheating and all) on mental level(when one thinks about someone else more than about partner,when one less participates in partner's life,when your romantic desires(eg writing song and dedicating to other person) and mood swings is connected with other person ,poor conversation with partner,feeling like something is against your conscience etc..) I had difficulties in distinguishing friendships from love relationship..as I bond in different way..I was for 2 years in love with my best friend,I dedicated to her some poems..she's great person,we're like family now..romantic relationship should be crown of friendship,so I left 2 years ago white rose(I was afraid to leave red) with message in front of her door and left.She told me she saw me as a girl,and she's str8..so I was afraid that I'll lose her as a friend after that confession,but we made a bridge,and now we're best friends,and with time she accepted my transsexuality and now sees me as a brother..our friendship was strong to handle it..and we knew eachother well WOW I'm typing novel here Read ya soon..Thanks for cake..I like sweets ..I'm maybe chocoholic :) Link to post Share on other sites
Shinnok Posted April 24, 2008 Share Posted April 24, 2008 Hi Andre. I'm FtM too. I became FtM after my break up with my boyfriend (well at least shortly after) It's cool to see more transgendered asexuals on here. Hope you post alot here. Welcome to AVEN :P Link to post Share on other sites
Carsonspire Posted April 24, 2008 Share Posted April 24, 2008 Welcome, Andre! It looks like you'll fit in just perfectly around here. :) ~Carsonspire Link to post Share on other sites
oneofthesun Posted April 24, 2008 Share Posted April 24, 2008 Hi from another FTM. Link to post Share on other sites
genwiz314 Posted April 25, 2008 Share Posted April 25, 2008 I hope I'll graduate molecular biology in future.I'm interested in genetics,biochemistry... I suppose this means I share at least two of your passions... Oops...dumb me. Welcome to Aven! :cake: :cake: When I walk with my best friend,she always notices people around us and comment their appearance..I don’t… Oh boy, do I understand this. Nine times out of ten, my friend will point out a "cute guy", and I'm always completely clueless to his presence until she points him out. *shrugs* WOW I'm typing novel here Read ya soon..Thanks for cake..I like sweets ..I'm maybe chocoholic What's wrong with that? Chocolate is awesome. Yay to a fellow chocoholic! More ! Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Freethinka Posted April 25, 2008 Share Posted April 25, 2008 Welcome to AVEN Andre! I'm glad you found this site. Here's some more Link to post Share on other sites
Melly06 Posted April 26, 2008 Share Posted April 26, 2008 Hi and welcome! Link to post Share on other sites
innovativesoul Posted April 26, 2008 Share Posted April 26, 2008 what is FTM Link to post Share on other sites
Andre87 Posted April 27, 2008 Author Share Posted April 27, 2008 what is FTM FTM is female to male transsexual ..that means man that is/was some part of his life invisible because he was born in female body. Like software(mind) is male..but hardware(body) is female.. Transition can include testosterone injections and top surgery(removing of breasts) and bottom surgery(removing of ovaries,uterus,vagina..and making penis-phalloplasty..but someone doesn't feel it's necessary so choose metaidioplasty and get micropenis)..lol I'm obviously bad at explaining..I hope you understood.Feel free to ask Link to post Share on other sites
Kelly Posted April 27, 2008 Share Posted April 27, 2008 but someone doesn't feel it's necessary so choose metaidioplasty That was what Jamison Green opted for. I got to meet him a couple of years ago. He is soo handome. Link to post Share on other sites
Andre87 Posted April 27, 2008 Author Share Posted April 27, 2008 but someone doesn't feel it's necessary so choose metaidioplasty That was what Jamison Green opted for. I got to meet him a couple of years ago. He is soo handome. I recommend his book-Becoming a visible man.It's a "must read" :)I read it 2 times..it suggested me some options my psychiatrist didn't mention. btw let me know when you visit Belgrade next time.I hope I'll find some asexual folk(we don't have community here)..still searching.. Link to post Share on other sites
Kelly Posted April 27, 2008 Share Posted April 27, 2008 Sounds great, Andre! :) Link to post Share on other sites
andreas Posted April 27, 2008 Share Posted April 27, 2008 Like software(mind) is male..but hardware(body) is female.. Hah, that's such a great explanation :lol: Link to post Share on other sites
Kelly Posted April 27, 2008 Share Posted April 27, 2008 I recommend his book-Becoming a visible man.It's a "must read" :)I read it 2 times. ;) So did I. Link to post Share on other sites
A Rip In My Cocoon Posted April 29, 2008 Share Posted April 29, 2008 friends said to me "But you're reacting like a girl!" I explained that everyone is trans in his/her own way..there's not correct way.It has to do with how we connect with our body(like I couldn't stand my breasts so I had anorexia 7 years ago).I found convenient label "emo boy"..I wasn't interested in phalloplasty as I see people above genitalia..they're shaped,sculped by their words,soul. I enjoy in romantic relationships,giving attention,writing poems,drawing and discussing..I am seduced by language,knowledge. HI! I am new too but it is apparently a tradition to offer up cake! :D Oh yeah. I hear you Loooud and Clear! I still have a female body but I totally know where you are coming from. My hips/chestfat gave me an eating problem since I was 13- not anorexia but I would just eat as little as I could get away with. at one point I was 5 foot tall and weighed 90 lbs which still isn't healthy, and still didn't make me look any less feminine, just smaller!! And I agree that people are most definetly NOT defined by what bits they have in their Private Areas. I am uncomfortable physically being a girl but something in me tells me that beginning treatment for FTM is not "for me". I don't know why but... I can only guess it's because the only operation I'd want is one that removes everything completely! :P Nice to meet you, Monkeyface xxx Link to post Share on other sites
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