If You Could Read My Mind

[Triple Threat]

I heard Gordon Lightfoot's "If You Could Read My Mind" (a big hit in the early 70's) on the radio the other day. I did not pay attention to the words back then, but it really speaks to me now. It is very possible that Lightfoot was involved in a relationship with someone who turned out to be asexual. A very sad and poignant song.

Here are the lyrics:

If you could read my mind love

What a tale my thoughts could tell

Just like an old time movie

bout a ghost from a wishin well

In a castle dark or a fortress strong

With chains upon my feet

You know that ghost is me

And I will never be set free

As long as Im a ghost that you cant see

If I could read your mind love

What a tale your thoughts could tell

Just like a paperback novel

The kind that drugstores sell

When you reach the part where the heartaches come

The hero would be me

But heroes often fail

And you wont read that book again

Because the endings just too hard to take

Id walk away like a movie star

Who gets burned in a three way script

Enter number two

A movie queen to play the scene

Of bringing all the good things out in me

But for now love, lets be real

* I never thought I could act this way *

And Ive got to say that I just dont get it

I dont know where we went wrong

But the feelins gone

And I just cant get it back

If you could read my mind love

What a tale my thoughts could tell

Just like an old time movie

bout a ghost from a wishin well

In a castle dark or a fortress strong

With chains upon my feet

But stories always end

And if you read between the lines

Youll know that Im just tryin to understand

The feelins that you lack

I never thought I could feel this way

And Ive got to say that I just to get it

I dont know where we went wrong

But the feelins gone

And I just cant get it back

[jr1]

thanks for sharing the song's lyrics with us

[Ryan Pawz]

Its so sad luv. But I want to hear it now.

[Revenge of Rain]

It sounds like a more general unrequited love to me. I do like the song. I heard the Johnny Cash cover first, which I think works quite well with his then aging and frail voice.

[Triple Threat]

Revenge

We both agree that Lightfoot is talking about relationship problems due to something not being reciprocated. But I do not think he is generalizing. He is being specific. He invites you to “read between the lines” because there are many clues in those words that give insight to the specifics.

I think Lightfoot’s partner loves and cherishes him, and “brings all of the good things out” of him. But she is not (or no longer is) very interested in sex (the most important phrase in the song IMO- “the feelins that you lack”). Regarding their relationship, she has an unrealistic romantic outlook and expectation (“just like a paperback novel, the kind that the drugstores sell”) that he loves her unconditionally and for who she is…..he is able to look beyond her lack of interest in sex. “If you could read her mind” he is her “hero” in her “paperback novel”.

But unbeknownst to her, this relationship tortures his soul and no one sees it; he is not really a “hero” but a “ghost” with “chains upon his feet” longing to be “set free”. So far, he has been committed to the relationship , but knows he cannot keep this commitment up forever (“But heroes often fail”, “but stories always end”). And when he does fail, she will be crushed, shattering her romantic beliefs (“And you wont read that book again, Because the endings just too hard to take”). Further evidence that she loves and cares for him (why else would she be crushed?); she just is not (or no longer is) interested in sex….that is what she cannot reciprocate.

One other note......the line “But the feelins gone, And I just cant get it back” implies that at one time their relationship was sexual. As the very articulate and asexual M51 has informed me, some asexuals can be sexual for a period of time early in the relationship with a sexual. Eventually, no matter how deep the crush, they go back to their natural asexual state.

Final note…….the line “I never thought I could act/feel this way” really hits home. When I dated in high school & college, I never even dreamed of cheating on a girl friend. Now that I have married someone who has become asexual (or always was asexual but tolerated sex during the early phases of our relationship because of the crush or buzz), I feel and experience attraction to other women all of the time. The emotional stress is unbearable. I am not a hero. I will fail.