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Idk if I'm an irl or not


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Is it normal that I can't differentiate myself from the characters I believe I am, no one can convince me otherwise, and if I get reality checked I get so damn upset and will have a depressive episode or anxiety attack??? Does that fr actually mean what I think it means....? Like frfr??? Like this is 100% not a fictionkin thing??? Help??? 

 

https://kinhelp.carrd.co/

https://irlsexplained.carrd.co/

 

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Moon Sprite

That sounds like maybe low self-esteem? I've wanted to be someone else at times, it makes sense you'd want to be different characters if you don't want to be yourself.

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verily-forsooth-egads

Definitely not "normal" in a neurotypical way. You can and probably should get help if it's causing you this much distress, but you're not broken and you're not alone. Take care of yourself.

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The Sword
13 minutes ago, verily-forsooth-egads said:

Definitely not "normal" in a neurotypical way. You can and probably should get help if it's causing you this much distress, but you're not broken and you're not alone. Take care of yourself.

Strongly seconded. The Sword won't judge you for it (especially as someone who's pretty far outside of "normal" neurotypicality, too)... but if this worries you, @BloodMoon, it's a damn good idea to discuss this with some kind of professional psych/counselor.

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Moon Sprite

Or it could be neurodiversity, who knows. Whatever it is, I agree you should get help if it's causing you distress.

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Fraggle Underdark

Could be a system (like DID or OSDD) with introjects, which is common. Just something to consider, to have on your radar and maybe look into.

 

But that said, even systems with introjects understand they are not the "same copy/instance" as their base character, like if a system has an introject of a show character they realize they are one instance/copy of that person and the one on the show is a different instance/copy. Like two identical items coming off an assembly line, or something like that (maybe milder, like with some differences).

 

Actually not being able to tell the difference between like a show version and the self version, that's not normal for systems though. With the possible exception when the introject is new or at least new to learning they're part of a system, but while alters can be very disappointed to learn they're not the same instance/copy, there isn't an actual block against learning that.

 

I'm not very familiar with psychosis and psychotic symptoms though, as an alternative which seems mentioned by the pages you linked.

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BigBassFox
5 hours ago, BloodMoon said:

Is it normal that I can't differentiate myself from the characters I believe I am, no one can convince me otherwise, and if I get reality checked I get so damn upset and will have a depressive episode or anxiety attack??? Does that fr actually mean what I think it means....? Like frfr??? Like this is 100% not a fictionkin thing??? Help??? 

 

https://kinhelp.carrd.co/

https://irlsexplained.carrd.co/

I'm not going to say any particular label but I will say that you may want to try journaling your thoughts about this and try certain practices. Like for example, if I'm feeling down about myself (for example feeling like I'm not a good friend), I will list the reasons I feel that way then list the reasons I am a good friend. It can help a lot with mindset and feeling more confident in being yourself. I understand if seeing a professional is not an option for you but if it is, I'd highly consider seeing one. Best wishes to you @BloodMoon

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Frameshift07

FWIW, I've seen kinning described in autism/ND circles (though I wasn't aware there was a word for it - I've seen it described as "me at the cinema downloading my favourite character's personality", which tracks). I'd describe it as having a role model and a compulsion to behave like them though, rather than anything spiritual.

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binary suns

Honestly, scrap identity. You're still you regardless of what you believe about yourself. You're still able to go about your day and work towards goals regardless of what identities you prescribe to. Identities will never be who you truly are. That's kind of the point of the advice, "be yourself" - we are at the most natural when we simply exist and react - and never think. Thinking is for reflection - not for action - and not for being. 

 

 

It's difficult to do, that's true. But if you really spend time thinking about it "You" and "I" are not really any identity. We are not kin, nor are we not-kin. Neither being this or being that is, well, being. I don't care about if I'm a human or not, a reader or not. I just go about my day with only the idea of what I want to accomplish in said day.

 

I could be reading instead of worrying about whether or not I'm a reader.

 

 

 

 

 

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