I am aromantic with a partner but my partner is aloromantic.

[Emilia Lenore]

my partner is alloromantic and even though i explained to him that i was aromantic and should not expect things like butterflies in my stomach or things like that, he is constantly telling me and asking me if i feel it, i think he is just expressing himself but when he asks me about it i don't know what to tell him because it makes me very uncomfortable and i had already told him that i don't feel it, what do you think?

 

[Sarah-Sylvia]

@Emilia LenoreIt would be hard for most who are romantic to have a partner that they know doesn't feel romantic love or similar feelings, for them. He is likely holding onto a sliver of chance that you just haven't developed those feelings yet, in hopes.

 

In general it's hard for people to accept or understand. At first it was hard for me too, to understand aromanticism, because it's just a natural part of how I am (to connect to someone I love intimately in that way).

[Vorps]

Depends on how long youve been together imo.

 

A few weeks/months? It can take time for this sort of...other perspective on relationships to sink in. Not to be pessimistic, but he may be discovering that a relationship without the romantic elements isnt working for him, and he's hoping that something has changed. Which isnt that uncommon a reaction, especially if you're his first intro into aromaticism.

 

Longer than that? Idk. At some point you've got to believe somebody about their experience.

 

Age could be a factor too. Lord knows I wasnt emotionally mature enough to fully accept and understand such a different experience from my own when I was much younger.

 

Regardless, I'm sorry he's not fully grasping what you've outlined for him. Hopefully things turn around a bit.

[MrDane]

On 3/1/2024 at 8:44 PM, Sarah-Sylvia said:

@Emilia LenoreIt would be hard for most who are romantic to have a partner that they know doesn't feel romantic love or similar feelings, for them. He is likely holding onto a sliver of chance that you just haven't developed those feelings yet, in hopes.

 

In general it's hard for people to accept or understand. At first it was hard for me too, to understand aromanticism, because it's just a natural part of how I am (to connect to someone I love intimately in that way).

It would feel natural for me to kiss goodmorning, hug/kiss before leaving for job, greet when comming back home, hug as a way of wordlessly say ‘i love you’, occasionally say the words, give a small gift to show I appreciate her, touch when we pass eachother in the hallway, once in a while tell her how lucky I am, sit close, hold hands….   But that is not how an aromantic is wired. I need to accept that and remember that some of my natural love language can be unpleasant for her and I should not expect her to do the same towards me.

 

 

[Liara]

I never really had that either...